Work Text:
@cruciblegambit1 - @theeggoflore
wemmie: egggg
wemmie: @theeggoflore
wemmie: @theeggoflore
wemmie: @theeggoflore
wemmie: egg
eggie: what brother
wemmie: lets go to the malllll
wemmie: plz
wemmie: im bored
wemmie: like really bored
eggie: okay, but i’ll need to make a pit stop at the library
eggie: i need to return my books
wemmie: dalright bruh
wemmie: ill pick you up in 10
wemmie: (✿◠ᴗ◠)
——
The mall was packed. Like, really packed. Teenagers roamed everywhere, and the intense smell of layered perfumes lingered around the two figures, or, in Wemmbu’s words:
“Whipping me in the face.”
“I hate how the mall’s entrance is scattered with fragrance stores. It’s like they want your nose to fall straight off,” Wemmbu shrugs, rolling his eyes.
For the occasion, Wemmbu wore a sleek black tank top over his oversized washed jeans. His silky hair was tied into a sloppy ponytail, evident that he didn’t have a lot of time to prepare himself earlier. A large canvas tote is slung over his shoulder, containing a thin cardigan–just in case it gets somewhat cold–and Egg’s books. He also has a pair of leveled leather boots on. Just for pizazz. And to make him look taller.
“Brother, you realise this mall has 3 other entrances, right?” Eggchan replies. Egg wore a more casual outfit compared to his devil friend. A plain sky blue hoodie, some comfortable sweatpants, and his dusty old converses. They’re only going to a mall, after all.
“You pay for the gas needed to travel across the park to get to those entrances.” Wemmbu remarks, smirking gleefully.
Eggchan snorts. “Touché.”
Egg and Wemmbu continued to walk around the mall, conversing about their past week. Exams, a hellish amount of studying, yada yada. Eventually, the two arrived at the food plaza.
Fast food stalls took over the area, overthrowing the air with the smell of grease and steak.
“Bro, I’d kill for a burger right now.” Wemmbu says, practically drooling at the mouth. He was facing towards the massive yellow M to the left of the duo.
“What, did you not eat breakfast?” asked Eggchan.
“What, did you?”
…
“Bro, whatever just come,” Wemmbu snatches Egg by his arm, dragging him to the McDonalds.
Arriving at the cashier, Wemmbu cuts to the chase. He wants his burger, fast.
“Yo, two quarter pound—wait. Flame, is that you?”
The recognizable figure stiffens. Flamefrags, the blindfolded male behind the counter, or, Wemmbu’s greatest nemesis, was in fact there. Working at McDonalds. It’s obvious he also has recognised the purple fiend.
“Oh my god bro. There is no way you two chungis are here right now,” Flame uses both hands to facepalm himself, groaning. Despite acting annoyed, Wemmbu could spot him flush a little under his hands. ‘I would get embarrassed too, if I was caught working at a McDonalds,’ He thinks.
He shakes his head.
“What?! Chungis? What are you doing here right now? Working at McDonald’s? Without a uniform…?” Wemmbu questions, finger pointing right at Flame’s chest.
“Bro, I owed Lomedy a favour, and he said one of his coworkers was away, bro. And he asked me to fill in for the coworker. For free dawg!” Flame cries.
“Isn’t that… extremely unprofessional?” Eggchan pipes in.
“Yeah, where’s the manager?” Wemmbu adds.
“Bro, I don’t–” Flame shrugs. “I don’t even care about what you have to say bro!” His eyebrows furrow. Now his finger is pointing at Wemmbu.
“Dallllllriiggghhtttt.” Wemmbu breathes, stretching the last syllable, for extra ragebait. “So, can I get two-”
“Flame, I told you to stop yelling at the customers!” A brown haired character appeared behind Flamefrags.
“Wemmbu?”
“Lomedy bro-” Flame turns around to face this figure called Lomedy. Unlike his blindfolded friend, Lomedy was actually fit in a McDonald’s work shirt.
“Uh… hi. Can I order now?” Wemmbu interrupts, stomach evidently growling.
“Yes Flame, serve our lovely customers.” Lomedy’s hands both rise, placing them onto Flamefrags’ shoulders. He then forces Flame to turn back behind the counter. “Please.”
“Oh my god, whatever bro. Hello, welcome to McDonalds, how can I serve you today?”
“Two quarter pounders, extra pickles on mine, a Big Mac, one—no, two frozen cokes, and… an apple pie.”
“$20.78, please.” Flame is clearly irritated. His fingers slam against the cashier screen. ‘God,’ Wemmbu thinks. ‘If I’m not careful enough, the steam coming from his head is gonna stuff up this whole mall.’
Wemmbu hands him a $20 and a $5 note. “Keep the change,” Wemmbu smugly says. “You probably need it.”
“I swear the second I see you at training tomorrow bro, I’m gonna kill you.” Flame growls at Wemmbu, almost breaking the cashier during the process.
“Flame!” Lomedy yells.
“Wow, Egg, look at the time! Let’s go find a table!” Wemmbu snickers, again, dragging Eggchan away by his arm.
—–
Walking to the library was a… tiring task. Who knew the library was located directly across the food plaza, on the other side of the massive ass mall? Not Wemmbu, that’s for sure.
“Egggggg… why is the library so far away?” Wemmbu groans, slouching. He readjusts his tote on his shoulder for the 50th time.
“I’m not the architect for this mall brother, I don’t know,” Egg remarks, also weary from the vast distance.
Suddenly, Wemmbu pauses. Like a domino effect, Eggchan stops in his path as well.
“I know we just ate but…” Wemmbu starts.
“Dude you literally just ate two burgers, chugged two frozen cokes, and stuffed down an apple pie as desert. What else could you possibly want to eat?” Eggchan replies.
“But there’s a cafe right there and I would die for a booth to sit at for the next 10 minutes!” Wemmbu explains, pointing both his arms at the establishment. Right next to where he was stationed.
The cafe was decorated in a modern, cosy aesthetic; plants hanging and surrounding the area, millennial posters covering the striped yellow walls, all that usual stuff you’d expect to see in a regular eatery nowadays. From the bold and italic sign at the front of the cafe, the place was named ‘Theria Cafe’. The real looker though, was the giant, pastel yellow booths they have inside.
“Brother, how are you even getting straight A+’s in P.E.? You can’t even handle a 100 metr-“
“Mile walk!” Wemmbu interrupts, clearly exaggerating the distance.
“Fine, let’s just get inside,” Eggchan scoffs.
Everything was going okay. You know, the first 30 seconds it takes for Wemmbu and Eggchan to even take a step inside the damn restaurant.
The cafe was booming with small talk and the clinks of dishes being placed on tables. Loud enough to not be able to hear any other conversation, but not quiet enough to be suffocating. It was comforting.
Emphasis on the ‘was’.
Because, the second straight after, there seems to be a voice.
Not just any voice.
A really loud, obnoxious, irritating voice.
“Wemmbu! Eggchan! My pals!” screams, yes, screams Spoke.
Spokeishere. Probably somewhere in the top three range on the most annoying person possible list.
God knows what his parents were thinking naming him ‘Spokeishere’, or if that’s even his real name.
If anyone was enjoying the cafe’s comforting volume, it is way out the window now. Because what fills the cafe straight after Spoke’s friendly greeting was dead silence. All heads either seem to be turned to the weirdo in the rainbow headband who just yelled like a extroverted dork, or the duo standing at the door who seem to be the two that the weirdo in the rainbow headband was yelling for.
Wemmbu could see Eggchan’s ears redden. Eggchan could see Wemmbu flush slightly on his cheeks.
Luckily, something, or more so, someone, saves them.
An extremely pale boy appears in front of them.
“Hey, welcome to Theria Cafe! How can I help you both?”
This boy was horrifically white-looking. Hair, skin, clothes, just about everything except his hazel eyes and the two perfectly positioned moles on his cheeks were plain white. The name tag on his apron read, ‘Silas Saparata’.
“Uh, hey. A table for two please,” Wemmbu speaks up, holding up two fingers, kind of like a peace sign.
“No! Wait! Let those two sit with me and Mapicc here,” Spoke interrupts, shaking and waving both his hands up in the air.
Saparata turns to face Spoke, then turns to face the devil and angel duo again. “Well. Do you two wish to sit with them?” He asks.
“Why not?” Egg answers, followed by an “Egg!” From Wemmbu.
Saparata continues to escort the two to the booth with the devious duo, handing both of them a menu.
“Tell me when you’re ready to order!” Saparata says, heartily.
Then, the Saparata boy runs back to the entrance after seeing a customer with raven black hair standing at it.
The guy waiting at the entrance was covered in black and purple. Just like how Wemmbu normally dresses. Obviously Wemmbu has the better style though, because emo guy over here is suffocating in a thick coat.
“Hey guys!” Spoke… screams? Well, he’s not necessarily screaming, but he isn’t quiet either. Wemmbu’s train of thought is immediately put to a halt.
“Never expected to see the infamous strongest and…” Spoke pauses at Eggchan.
“Chungiest,” Wemmbu finishes, smirking.
“This has gotta be ragebait,” Eggchan replies.
“It’s true!” Wemmbu snorts. Even though Eggchan knows he’s correct, he still glares, scoffing.
“Well… Anyway! Did you guys know Flamefrags is also in this mall right now?!” Spoke narrates, shaking his hands everywhere excitedly. He almost knocks over his cup of coffee, which seems to be fully black. Wemmbu grimaces. ‘Eugh, never excepted Spoke to drink something disgustingly bitter.’
“Yeah, me and Egg saw him at McDonalds. Working,” Wemmbu responds, eyes back to gazing through the menu.
“Huh? But me and Mapicc saw him working at Home Depot?” Spoke continues, confused. Mapicc nods along, also puzzled.
“What? Why would Flame be at Home Depot?” Eggchan asks.
“I don’t know! He said something about owing Boosfer a favour, or something like that?” Spoke continues, placing a finger on his chin.
Wemmbu smacks the menu onto the table, getting a few stares and turn-arounds. “Boosfer? That dumbass?” He continues to exclaim, gaining a few more eyes on him. “Sorry.”
“What? But when Flame was at McDonalds, he said he owed Lomedy a favour?” Eggchan says, bonking Wemmbu on the shoulder in the process.
“Ow.”
“That’s odd,” Mapicc says. “I wonder what type of favour he made Lomedy and Boosfer do, out of all people.”
“Hmm… Oh yeah! I also saw Parrot at the library earlier!” Spoke giggles. “He looked like he was about to slash his laptop in two—his table looked like a mess of papers and assignments!”Mapicc snickers with Spoke.
“The library, huh? Me and Egg were just about to go there,” Wemmbu replies, raising his hand. “Yo, can me and Egg order please? And take it to go?”
“Yep!” Saparata makes his way to the table, clipboard in one hand and pen—ready to scribble—in the other. “What would you like today?”
——
Wemmbu takes a sip from his cardboard cup.
Steam emerged from the drink, heating both of Wemmbu’s hands as he grips the cup sleeve. The cold conditioning of the library clashed with the mocha. The drink made his body feel somewhat toasty and snug.
Wemmbu took another sip.
Wemmbu was itching for his cardigan as it was uncomfortably cold in the building. However, Egg took the tote holding the cardigan with him as it contained all his books, which was incredibly unhelpful. He was practically shivering on the spot, with his breathing and coffee being his only heat source. Wemmbu leans onto a bookshelf, hoping he could somehow grow warmer from it. Maybe the books have some sort of heating mechanism. Who knows…?
‘Bro, what’s taking Egg so long to return these books?’ Wemmbu thinks. His legs were getting wobbly from standing too long.
His eyes automatically scan around for some sort of sofa to sit at. However… There's sort of a problem.
Well, the good news was: he found a sofa!
Bad news: Parrot is sitting on the sofa. Huh. Spoke told the truth. Parrot was in the library, and still is in fact. Funny thing is, he has papers scattered all across his desk, and he’s staring his laptop down. Just like how Spoke had described. However, there’s a detail Spoke seemed to not tell Wemmbu. Parrot was sitting with someone else—Theo. God knows why the cockatiel brat was here, but he obviously wasn’t doing anything productive. He was folding makeshift cranes out of Parrot’s worksheets.
Wemmbu almost snorted.
Wemmbu thinks Theo hears him.
Wemmbu sees Theo slowly turn his head toward him.
Wemmbu thinks he should start to run.
Except he doesn’t.
He takes another sip from his mocha, less sugar, hot, with a dollop of milk.
Both his hands are still on the cup.
‘Why is he staring at me like I just slapped Parrot straight in the face in front of him?’
Wemmbu then tilts his head slightly to the left. His messy ponytail follows the motion, shuffling slightly. He smirks and looks directly in Theo’s eyes.
Theo stands up from the desk with Parrot, both hands slammed flat onto the table.
Parrot looks up from his mountain of worksheets, up to Theo.
Theo starts exiting the booth area.
Theo starts walking up to Wemmbu.
Parrot shifts his gaze to where Theo is walking to, facing Wemmbu.
Parrot sighs and digs his head back down into the sad lake of assignments.
‘Dude, I seriously cannot remember what I did to this guy to make him look like he wants to strangle me,’ Wemmbu squinted at Theo, who’s now grown closer, and closer, and closer…
“Yo,” Theo stands in front of Wemmbu, tilting his head to Wemmbu’s right—opposite to where Wemmbu has tilted his head.
“This is not aura bro,” Wemmbu exclaims, shifting his grip on the cup to one hand only.
“Hm. Wemmbu,” Theo starts.
“Continue,” Wemmbu follows.
“I’m really bored right now. Like, really bored. Parrot has been here, studying and working for 5 hours. Straight,” Theo states, clearly tired.
“And?” Wemmbu asks.
“Nothing,” Theo stretches his arms behind his back.
“Expected.”
“So, Wemmbu.”
“Yes?”
“I want to get Parrot up and running,” Theo continues to stretch, this time, Gojo form. He performs a wide leg stretch, basically a squat-like warm up.
“Uhh… Okay…?”
“And you’re gonna help me,” Theo smirks, standing fully upright again, however this time, in a fighting stance.
“Ho-“
Theo punches Wemmbu in the face. Or, more so, nearly punches. Wemmbu dodges swiftly, almost drops his coffee. This results for the bookshelf behind Wemmbu receiving the blow instead, which leads to the bookshelf wobbling slightly.
“Ow!” Theo starts to shake his hand, hoping to shake the pain away.
“I see, then,” Wemmbu grins. Wemmbu places his coffee on the bookshelf that Theo just punched, then cracks his neck, twice.
Wemmbu takes the opportunity while Theo is distracted playing ‘Shake Your Wrists Off’, and goes for a punch—a direct shot to his face.
The first few milliseconds were sailing smoothly. Fist directly in front of the target. Future for the target? Screwed.
The next few milliseconds however, didn’t go as planned.
Eggchan has pounced on Wemmbu, grabbing both his forearms behind his back policeman-style in an attempt to stop the fight.
“Egg, let me go!” Wemmbu struggles, considering whether to ankle Egg in his shins.
“Brother, you are not getting kicked out of the library today,” Egg grunts, struggling to keep up with Wemmbu’s strength.
Wemmbu grunts, choosing to comply with the fun-policeman Eggchan. For now.
“Haha!” Theo laughs, raising his fist for round two. However his fun seemed to be arrested too.
“Parrot! Let me go!” Theo chirped, now struggling under Parrot’s arms.
“Bro, Theo, Eggchan has a seriously good point. I’m not getting kicked out because you wanted to fist fight Wemmbu here. I still have 4 more assignments to draft,” Parrot lectures.
“Whatever, dude,” Theo halts his struggles, and is soon released from Parrot. Eggchan follows Parrot and drops Wemmbu.
Wemmbu pats out invisible dust from his body.
Theo goes back to wagging his fist.
“Parrot, Theo, Wemmbu, and Eggchan? What an odd quadrant!” A familiar voice spoke.
Egg spun around to face the person speaking, while Parrot moved strictly to the side of Theo.
Wemmbu, however, didn’t need to rotate to recognise that voice.
“Boosfer,” Wemmbu groans.
“That’s my name!” the neon green eyesore of an alien spoke, grinning.
“Oh my god bro,” Parrot face palmed, following with a “Dude, where did you even come from?” from Theo.
“Aren’t you supposed to be at Home Depot?” Eggchan asks.
“Home Depot? How do you know I was there?” Boosfer answers, taking out some keys from his pocket and fidgets with them.
The keys Boosfer was twirling around on his index finger had a small lion and flame keychain, which was odd, because Wemmbu never recalled Boosfer being interested in any sort of lion or–wait.
“Me and Wemmbu were talking to Spoke earlier, and-” Eggchan starts, before getting interrupted.
“Bro, Boosfer, are those Flame’s keys?” Wemmbu asks.
“Who’s keys again? Cause last time I checked, I’m the one holding these!” Boosfer smirks. “Ow- hey!”
Wemmbu lunges onto Boosfer, extending his arms to try to reach for the keys like they were pure gold.
“I need those keys Boosfer!” Wemmbu yelps as the two get entangled in a mess of limbs.
“Wemmbu let me gooo!” Boosfer struggles, keeping the key away from Wemmbu’s reach.
“Brother!” Eggchan groans.
“Theo, let's get away from these idiots before we get kicked-” Parrot grabs Theo by his forearm, before-
“Bro, are those my keys bro?”
Everyone’s head snapped toward the sound of the voice.
“Flamefrags!?” Egg, Theo, and Boosfer say unitedly.
Boosfer quickly drops the keys into Wemmbu’s hand, runs out of the tangle of limbs and hides behind a bookshelf.
Wemmbu, still on the floor, giggles. “Yeah, bro, these are your keys,” Wemmbu swung his hand around, the keys chiming as they knocked together.
“What are you gonna do to get em’ back?” Wemmbu smiles smugly.
“Bro, do you really want to die today bro?” Flame replies, before leaping onto Wemmbu, throwing a few punches. Wemmbu manages to dodge all of them.
“Flame! Stop!” Lomedy shouts.
“Dude, where did you come from?” asks Eggchan.
Flame and Wemmbu both twist and turn around the floor in an attempt to get a hit on each other. The two look like a mess of purple and red on the carpeted floor.
“Round two!” Theo screeches, before also forcing himself into the brawl.
Correction: a mix of purple, red, and yellow on the carpeted floor.
“I’m done,” Parrot sighs.
Boosfer peeks from the side of the bookshelf. “Is he gone yet?”
Flame whips his head around to see the alien covering his lower face with a dictionary. A mini dictionary. His blindfold almost slaps Theo in the face.
Wemmbu flips into a handstand and uses Boosfer’s distraction to swing his leg forward, catching Flame in the face with an unexpected kick. The kick knocks Flame onto the floor.
“Ooh, direct hit in the face, Flame!” Boosfer narrates.
“Bro, Boosfer,” Flame mumbles, crawling back up onto his feet. Flame wipes his forearm across his face. His arm is stained with streaks of blood.
“Flame, are you okay?” Lomedy almost runs into the battle, before Eggchan drags him from the back of his shirt. “Don’t risk it bro!”
Wemmbu snorts, uncontrollably giggling.
Flame uses this chance to attack, landing a sharp punch that snaps Wemmbu’s head to the side. Wemmbu fails to dodge from hysteria, the force sending him stumbling backward until his head thuds against the bookshelf–rattling the shelves behind him.
“Haha! Wemmbu more like… Bemboo!” Boosfer grins.
The shelf, however, doesn't stop rattling. The shelf continues to shake, falling backward onto Boosfer.
Boosfer yelps, drops the mini dictionary and sprints to the side to try to escape.
However, Wemmbu’s drink succumbs to gravity along with the shelf. The lid flies off the drink, causing the content to gush out–drenching Boosfer in the process.
“Yeou! That's hot!” Boosfer cries.
THUD!
The bookshelf lies flat on the floor, books spread everywhere like a crime scene.
Wemmbu’s vision grows fuzzy, an artwork of splattered colours and blurs filling his vision. But in between genuine laughter and splutters, he pouts. “That- was… Ha, my drink! Hahahaha!” His legs wobble, forcing him to plummet backwards onto the fallen shelf with a thump.
Eggchan quickly runs up to him to assist him getting back up.
Flame stands amongst the scene, wiping his nose again with his arm.
More blood just dyes his skin.
Boosfer takes off his bright green mess of a hoodie, and starts wringing it out.
“Wait. Bro, where are my keys?” Flame shouts.
“You mean these keys?” Spoke appears from behind Flamefrags, dangling his keys with the stupid lion keychain in the air. Wherever he has obtained them, nobody knows. Mapicc runs up next to Spoke, closely behind. He pants while trying to stuff one of the cafe’s croissants in his mouth.
“Okay. Where are all these people coming from?” Parrot groans.
THUD!
“Bro!” Egg has his hands on his head.
Wemmbu, in front of him, has fallen, yet again. However, this time, he’s not laughing like a maniac. He’s knocked out unconscious on the floor, the side of his head bleeding onto the carpet.
His hair is sprawled out around him like a spider net.
“What the hell?!” MinuteTech yells, appearing around the entire group of teenagers.
“Why is there a bookshelf knocked over with Wemmbu unconscious on the floor?! And why is there blood and the odour of coffee everywhere?! And why do you all have food in the library?!”
Parrot sighs. Again. For the 90th time of the day.
——
It’s the next day, back at school. A depressing Monday that Wemmbu enters injured and lectured by his science professor, MinuteTech, first thing in the morning.
It’s lunch now though, and everyone who was spotted at the mall yesterday is now in the detention room. Everyone is writing ‘I will not start brawls in the mall’s library,’ a hundred times on the blackboard.
Except Theo, who broke his fist.
“So, who knew professor MinuteTech worked at the mall’s library?” Spoke starts, balancing 5 chalk sticks on his head instead of writing lines.
“Shut up,” Wemmbu, Parrot, and Flame say collectively.