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Kalim doesn’t mind being alone if it means that no one will be harmed. He was so ignorant towards his closest person. It has been a few months since Winter Break.
No one is worthy of trusting. They are pretending to be your friends. Whispers behind your back are truthful—you are a useless burden. The only reason why you were always chosen is that Jamil had to lower himself out for Asim’s fortune ego. So why?
Why.
Why was Jamil confessing his love to Kalim now?
Why did it hurt so badly?
… Lilia asked Kalim to meet him at the garden after classes; he wanted to discuss a new song for their music club. That’s completely alright. A friendly gesture. He felt throwing his heart out, moving on wobbly legs. Something was wrong with the way Lilia smiled, with the way he laughed, and with the way he looked at Kalim with those hateful eyes that were hidden by a soft gaze.
He is not going insane; he sees the truth now. Everyone hates him. His friends especially wish him the worst and a shameful fate for being Asim’s eldest son. It’s his fault for being born. If he disappears, everything will become better for everyone. Then they won’t hate him, right?
He freezes when he sees the wary face of his beloved. Always so perfect, unlike him. Jamil awkwardly tried to smile at him.
“… Sorry, I’ll go. I was looking for Lilia,” he mumbles, not even looking directly at his former best friend.
“I know. I wanted to talk with you, Kalim”
“Go ahead, I guess”
“… Huh?”
Jamil was met with nothing but anxious red eyes. No hint of that stupid lovely obliviousness and pure excitement over everything about Jamil, no hint of gentleness. Only comprehend.
“Kalim, I have hurt you. I thought I could be free if I got rid of you, but I realized now that I don’t want to be apart from you.” The heat radiated from his face, so red and blushing. “I think I love you”
I love you.
Wow.
“Jamil, why are you telling me now?”
“Because I wanted you to know”
Kalim’s facial expression did not change at all. He only hummed in thoughtfulness.
“I don’t. I don’t love you, Jamil”
“Wh-what?! I was so sure- you can’t- ugh”
He was so sure, so full of himself, that Kalim still loves him despite anything, despite any mistake he will make.
“Are you done pretending now?”
“What?”
“Did you have fun? Did you enjoy seeing my reaction? You knew about my feelings and decided to play a joke”
“Kalim, I am not joking!”
The young heir, such an unfortunate heir, laughed in bitterness before he fell into sobs. He always cries. What a crybaby. What a shame. He can’t even hide his face properly with cardigan sleeves; his ugly tears are exposed to the person who hates him.
Jamil’s heart squeezed in pain; an older teen's hand uncertainly pats Kalim’s shoulder, but he gets pushed away.
“Don’t! Leave me alone. I hate you, I hate you, I hate you!”
“Just listen to me here! You should listen to me”
“Really?! You? Who am I even to you now? I’m your ex-best friend or ex-master?”
“You’re mine!”
Haha. Yeah. Sure. Yours.
“Jamil, just leave. I don’t like you”
“You-you’re lying. You told me yourself!..”
Kalim slapped Jamil's face in anguished disgust.
“We are not friends anymore. I don’t care if you ‘love’ me now! You just came to laugh at me with your sick jokes. Just leave me alone.”
“You little-, why can’t you understand that I’m trying to fix our relationship here?!”
Jamil always has been smart, but why is he so naïve now?
“There is nothing to fix”
“It’s not true”
“… please, Jamil. Be free. I don’t want any connection with you anymore. I wish you the best, but without me”
He ignored falling tears. Once, he almost drowned the whole city by rainfall when Jamil got hurt. His tears felt like a mocking reminder about how much he, Kalim Al-Asim, was wrong.
“Don’t worry about me. My father said that he will send a personal cook for me. I know that I can’t be independent”
Kalim smiled at him, empty and strained.
“Or I will make a mistake again by befriending someone like you”
Jamil couldn’t fix his mistake.