Chapter Text
It was already exhausting after the whole deal at the TV studio; Charlie just wanted to lie back. Why don't sinners understand that this COULD work... if it could work... then they could get into heaven! If only she could just get them to LISTEN-
Knock, knock
Charlie jolted up, the knock stopping her line of thought. Was someone at the door? No, after that failing live, there wouldn't be... she must be just tired, but then there it was again.
Knock, knock, knock!
OH MY STARS, SOMEONE WAS AT THE DOOR! Maybe they didn't see that incident and wanted to get redeemed! Charlie flew to the door and immediately opened it up, ready to greet the one behind it, but-
The one behind the door wasn't a sinner. It couldn't be, right? No sinner in hell had this much white on them, with that angelic aura coming from them. It had to be an angel, a winner, maybe!
The angel looked a lot like a deer, with the ears and antlers of one. They had dark brown, curly hair wrapping their face, which was of a darker shade except for some white freckles and a big white smile almost to their eyes, dark brown. His clothes were definitely a giveaway that he was from heaven, the style giving from a person from the early nineteenth century. They were white with some blue and red accents. One of the most noticeable things he had with him was his cane, which was like a miniature radio with an eye and wings as... decorative features, maybe?
When they noticed the door was open, their smile went even larger, and a hand raised for a greeting.
“Hel-”
They couldn't finish, before Charlie slammed the door shut in fear.
Okay, maybe that was a little rude, but she panicked, okay? What was she supposed to say to an actual angel that was probably sent from heaven about the whole thing she was doing?
No, heaven wouldn't actually send someone down here, would they? Maybe Charlie is just panicking and hallucinating it! Yeah, that's probably right... But just to be sure...
“-lo!”
Charlie slammed the door again, now fully panicking. There really was an angel right outside this door...
“Hey, Vaggie...?”
Her marvelous girlfriend responded, “Yeah?”
“There is an angel outside...!”
“WHAT!?” Vaggie shouted.
“WHAT SHOULD I DO?” Charlie asked, face full of despair.
“Well, don't let them in!”
Well, Vaggie had a point. Letting an angel inside probably wasn't the best thing to let happen... but what if this is a representative from heaven to tell them that heaven is okay with sinners trying to be redeemed! So, against better judgment, Charlie went up to the door again, breathed in, out... and opened the door.
The angel was still there, the smile still on his face.
“May I speak now?” it asked.
“You may!” Charlie announced, trying to sound more authoritative, yet somehow still letting out how nervous she was. Stupid...
“Alastor, pleasure to meet you, quite a pleasure!” The angel, now introduced as Alastor, practically grabbed Charlie's hand in an enthusiastic handshake, then waltzed in, like it was just another Tuesday, still ranting, “As you probably found out, I am here as an envoy to help you out in your little project! I saw your little fiasco on a picture show on the way here, such a performance, why, I haven't been this invested since the stock market crash of 1929!”
Charlie almost started doubting her own decisions until she noticed Vaggie had gotten up from the couch, spear pointing towards Alastor.
“Stop right there! I know your game, and I am not going to let you hurt anyone here, you pompous, egotistical-”
She looked intimidating for a minute before Charlie noticed that Alastor was not fazed at all by all this. His posture relaxed, knowing that whatever they did, they couldn't hurt him, even interrupting Vaggi.
“Haha, if I wanted to hurt anyone, I would’ve done so already, dear!”
Okay... the last part seemed scarier than Charlie would have expected from someone like him... she didn't even realize that she was hiding behind Vaggie until Alastor started talking again.
“No, no. As I said earlier, I am here to help you all out on your little pity project!”
"What...?”
She couldn't believe what he was saying... heaven reaching out to help?
"WHAIT! So what you're saying is that Heaven also believes that Sinners can be redeemed?"
There was a GREAT moment of silence, even the static that kept coming from Alastor had come to an abrupt stop, then a sound of a crowd laughing came from the guy's cane... so it IS a radio!
"Haha, oh, of course not, dear! That's wacky noncence! Redemption? Oh, the nonexistent humanity! There is nothing that can redeem these loathsome sinners to get up there! The chance they got was the life they lived before, and the punishment is this! There is no undoing what is done. No, I am measely supposed to watch how everything turns out and report to headquarters!"
Oh... so there goes all hope on that...
"But that doesn't prohibit me from helping around here a bit from time to time!"
So... what Charlie is hearing is that there is still hope! But that just raised another question...
"But... why?"
Before she could question any more, she was abruptly interrupted yet again- "Why does anyone do anything, cher? Absolute boredom! My own work has lacked inspiration, become so mundane, lacking focus, aimless. I've come to crave a new form of entertainment!"
Entertainment...?
"Does getting into a fistfight with a reporter count as entertainment?"
And without a second thought, Alastor replied, "Haha, it's the purest kind, my dear! REALITY! TRUE PASSION! After all, the world is a stage and a stage is a world of entertainment!"
... that doesn't explain anything... but who is she to judge? She is willing to take any help at this point! But Vaggie wasn't satisfied with that answer; that was painted all over her face. She had already sat back down on the couch beside Angel, and while Alastor was talking about what could become of this, they had their own conversation, which was almost more interesting than what the angel was announcing.
"So... what's the deal with Smiles over there?" Angel asked, fully confused about this whole show.
Vaggie was more than baffled by that question.
"Wait, you've never heard of him before? You were here longer than me!"
She sighed when Angel just shrugged in bafflement.
"The Overlord killer? One of the most powerful exorcists Hell has ever seen?" she tried again.
"Meh, not big on politics." Angel just added.
Vaggie looked like she was going to strangle this sinner with her bare hands when she stated the story:
"A decade ago, when the Ethermination had just started, Heaven understood that some Sinners, basically most Overlords, are not so easily destroyed by a normal exorcist. So they sent out Alastor, who seemingly immediately had toppled Overlords, who had been dominant for centuries!! That kind of raw power has never been harnessed by a mortal soul before! He would use his broadcast to power all throughout Hell, just so everyone could witness the new hierarchy of extermination. Sinners started calling him... the Radio executioner. As lazy as it is... Many have speculated what unimaginable force enabled him to rival our world's most ancient and destructive evils. But one things for sure. We cannot trust anything that he is saying, he's an unpredictable source of chaos, the likes of which we can't get involved with unless we want to end up erased!"
"Ya done?" Suddently Angels voice probed. He didn't look impressed with the speech Vaggie just gave. Not one bit.
"He looks like an old man!" He laughed, pointing at the angel, who, surprisingly, was still rambling to the princess.
"Well, I don't trust him!" grumbled Vaggie, fully done with the annoying spider beside her.
"To be fair, do you trust any man? Like any men? Men?" Angel continued on.
Vaggie decided that talking to him was pointless and stepped to Charlie with worry.
"Listen, Charlie, you can't believe this creep! He is not just a smiley face, he's a dealmaker! No real emotion! He is most likely looking for a way to destroy everything we're trying to do-"
Before she could get on any further, Charlie finally said, "Well, I... We don't know that... Look, I know he is bad news, and probably is going to tell Heaven all ur secrets, but the whole point of this is to give people a chance!"
She continued, sparing a glance at Alastor, who was now looking at a portrait of the Royal family-her family...
"I want to believe things will be better! How can I turn someone away? I can't! It goes against everything I'm trying to do!" She looks her girlfriend in the eyes again, "What I believe in... Just... trust me! I can take care of myself!"
Yeah, her words were reassuring, but the look of worry didn't falter on Vaggie's face.
"Charlie, whatever you do, do not make a deal with him!"
Oh, so that's what she was worried about!
"Don't worry! If I picked up one thing from my dad, it's that **You don't take shit from other demons!**."
Charlie confidently stepped towards Alastor with a plan ready. But once she approached, the whole confidence had evaporated once she was once again toe to toe with him.
"Oookay... So... You're sketchy as fuck aand you clearly see what I'm doing here is a joke..."
She started, seeing if he was going to interrupt or correct her in any way, but since he didn't, she continued, "but I don't. I think that everyone deserves a chance to prove that they can be better, so I'm... taking your offer to help! ... on the condition that there won't be any trickier voodoo strings attached!"
Yep, that works!
"So... It's a deal?"
Suddenly, there was golden and green magic emitting around them, once Alastor offered a hand as if for a handshake.
NOPE! THAT DOESN'T WORK!
"Nope, no deals! I... " she struggled to find the words, "As princess of Hell, and heir to the throne, I hereby order you to help with this hotel! For as long as you desire!"
Charlie looked at him again to see if Alastor was displeased with the fact that there was no deal in this conversation, but he was met with the same smile as ever. She quickly looked at Vaggie, trying to find out if she did well, but she was also unsure of what to say.
"Sounds fair?" Charlie asked, just for good measure.
"Hmm, fair! Though I would've been staying here either way, since Heaven sent me here by command!" The radio angel hummed in satisfaction.
"Okayyy! Cool beans..."
Alastor started walking around as if looking deeply for the first time, assessing the architecture and aesthetic. Suddenly, he turned towards Vaggie and Angel Dust as if seeing them for the first time. He addressed Vaggie first, "Smile, my dear, you are never fully dressed without one!"
Oh, Vaggie wasn't happy to hear that...
"So... where is your hotel staff?" Alastor asked Charlie, completely ignoring the glare that Vaggie was giving him.
Oh yeah... hotel staff... that is needed for a hotel...
"Uh... well..." Charlie stammered, motioning to her girlfriend, who was still giving death threats through her eyes.
"Oh, you're going to need more than that, my dear!" he dismissed, now walking towards Angel Dust.
"And what can you do, my effeminate fellow?" Oh, Angel, please don't...
"I can suck ya dick." Angel simply put out.
For a second, there was a screech as a vinyl record got scratched. Alastor was completely still, dumbfounded even.
Then it seemed like he recovered and laughed, "Haha, NO!"
And... it seems like Angel isn't hurt by that. Well, that's good at least..."Heh, your loss."
"Well, this just won't do! I suppose I can cash in some old favours to... lighten things up!" Alastor walked towards the fireplace, and suddenly, there was a golden flame coming from there!
Charlie wanted to go get water, but the fire went out as quickly as it came, and in its place there was a... figure??? that was covered in charcoal just... lying there in the dust. Alastor picked up the little body, which seemed to be dead, but then her theory was bunked when a single eye opened and looked around the room. It shriveled and shook all the dust off, revealing a... cute little insect-type cyclops with pinkish hair and a little dress!
"This little darling is Niffty!" Alastor introduced before the little figure, now known as Niffty, hopped off and started introducing herself.
"Hi! I'm Niffty! It's nice to meet you!" She scrambled, running around and shaking the hotel staff's hands. She is too fast. How was anyone supposed to keep track of her? "It's been a while since I've made new friends- Wait, why are all of you women? ARE THERE ANY MEN HERE?" She suddenly started scrambling around again, almost pushing Charlie off her feet.
"Sorry, that's rude-OH MAN!" Her attention finally went to the place she was summoned to. Wait, what was wrong with her hotel? "OH, this place is so filthy! It really needs a lady's touch, which is weird, since all of you are ladies, no offence- OH THIS IS AWFUL!"
She started running around the room, finding spots that were... pretty dirty. "NO, NO, NOT THAT, NOPE!"
Where does she get all that energy from? Hell if Charlie knows...
Before Charlie could question her, she heard a voice from behind, "Hah, read 'em and weep, boys! Full- OOH...." Oh, it looks like he was playing... cards before this?
"What the fuck is this?" Oh, he doesn't sound pleased..., but before she could say anything, Alastor already started talking to the... grumpy cat demon with wings? Hell really has some creativity with these forms.
"Husker, my good friend! Glad you could make it!" So this is Husker... good to know... but Husker didn't look like he wanted to be here.
"Don't you Husker me, you son of a bitch, I WAS GOING TO WIN THE WHOLE POT!" Husk yelled out, watching as the poker table vanished in front of his eyes.
"Good to see you too," said Alastor, not bothering to show any mercy.
Husk looked completely tired already, and he had just come here! Ugh... What do you want with me this time?"
"Well, my friend, I am doing some charity work, so I took it upon myself to volunteer your services! I hope that's okay!" Alastor said, giving Husk a half-hug.
"Are you shitting me?"Husk asked in disbelief.
"Hmm.." A hum came from Alastor as he acted as if he was deep in thought, "No, I don't think so!" before finally letting the poor cat go.
Oh, that pissed Husk off... "Oh, you thought it would be some kind of fucking riot just to pull me out of nowhere? You think I'm some kind of clown!?"
And not with a doubt in that smug face, Alastor replied with, "Maybe!"
Husk crossed his hands in defeat, since clearly, the angel in front of him is not taking what he is saying to mind. "I ain't doing no charity job," he grumbled. And in seconds, Alastor was beside him once again;
"Well, I thought that you would be the perfect face to man the front desk of this fine establishment!" he pointed at a bar-WAIT, WHEN WAS THERE A BAR HERE? "With your charming smile and welcoming energy, this job was made for you!" Seeing that Husk was not any more convinced, he added, "Don't worry, my friend, I can make this more welcoming, if you wish..." he gave a little wink as a bottle of... cheap booze? (That was literally said on the bottle.) appeared on the bar table.
Husk's eyes were locked on the bottle for a while before turning back to Alastor; "What, you think you can buy me with a wink and some cheap booze?" he sneaked a peek at the bottle again before taking it in hand, "Well, you can..." Husk admitted in defeat before hanging his head back to drink a good amount of liquid from the bottle.
WAIT, WAIT, WAIT! THERE CAN'T BE A BAR HERE! But before Charlie could say anything, Vaggie already shouted,
"Hey, hey! No!No bar, no alchohol! This is supposed to be a place that discourages sin! Not some kind of brothel-man cave!"
"Shut up! SHUT. UP!" Now interrupting was Angel Dust, almost lodging himself towards Vaggie to shut her up before pointing to the bar, which was now occupied with the Cat demon, "We are keeping this!"
So now, while Angel sat down to flirt with said demon, Charlie had just snapped out of the shock from all of this, now exited out of her mind.
"So, what do you think?" Alastor asked, seeing the pure excitement emitting from her very being.
"This is amazing!!" She couldn't lie, getting two new staff members was something she couldn't do in a month, so getting two in a single day was more than enough work than she imagined. Even Vaggie couldn't find a bad thing about this as she said: "... it's okay..."
"Ohoho, this is going to be VERY entertaining!"
Yeah, maybe this isn't the end for the hotel!