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Atsumu watched as Kageyama set the ball to Ushijima. Sakusa immediately reacted, running towards the spiker. He quickly followed suit and both of them jumped, forming a solid block. The score was 31-30 in favour of the Adlers. If they manage to block this spike, they could turn things around.
But of course, not everything goes to plan.
Thanks to Ushijima's sharp eyes and the fatigue that's been built up from long rallies, he manages to find a small enough opening for the ball to slip past. Gathering as much strength as he could, he swung his arm and hit the ball past the two blockers. The ball whizzed past and receivers, who were caught off guard, lunged for the ball with their arms stretched out.
As he and Sakusa landed, they both turned their heads around only to see the ball fall onto their side of the court and all of the receivers crash into each other. The ball rolled away whilst bouncing softly, each bounce echoing off the gym walls.
A small moment of silence passed as both teams stood frozen. Then the referee lifted his arm towards the Schweiden Adlers and blew his whistle. The court erupted with cheers as the Adlers went to high five and congratulate their teammates.
The Black Jackals all sunk to their knees as all the exhaustion as well as the weight of their loss began to replace the adrenaline which was slowly wearing off.
Atsumu gripped the net panting. "Fuck, this was all my fault." Why didn't he help Sakusa finish the block off properly? Heck, this wouldn't have happened if he could actually aim his serves during the second set.
Lifting his head, he saw all his teammates, their spirits crushed from losing and he couldn't help but think, "Am I just dragging the team down?"
A sharp, "Line up" from the referee snapped him out of his thoughts. Sighing, he pushed himself up and followed his teammates to the end of the court. Once the ref was made sure that everyone was ready, he gestured to both teams
"Thank you for the match!" they shouted before bowing to each other. Atsumu went to the net and shook hands with Kageyama.
"Good game, Tobio-kun," he said, grasping the other setter's hand and giving it a shake.
"Good game, Miya-san," he replied, before retracting his hand with that stiff manner he always seemed to have.
Once everyone was finished shaking hands, Atsumu and the rest of his team walked to their Coach Foster, shoulders weighed down with their loss.
"We will be having a meeting when we get back to our gym." he told them. He paused, then added, "We may have lost, but, there was many things that you guys did to be proud of. So go and get your stuff quickly and go out of the exit and onto the bus."
"Yes sir!" They all bowed to the coach before walking to the locker rooms to collect their bags and belongings, all taking a bit longer than they usually would. Once everything was gathered, they went out of the exit and they all climbed onto the bus.
After a couple minutes of shuffling and moving their belongings and fussing over who would sit next to who, the bus (finally) began to move. Atsumu was sat next to Sakusa, who was already peacefully asleep. His lips perked up in a small but fond smile before turning his head and peering out of the window, the buildings slowly blurring into empty fields, giving him a small moment of peace. However, it wasn't long until his thoughts wrapped themselves around him and trapping him in their cruel grip and enveloping him their darkness.
"If only you had practiced more instead of bothering your Omi-omi and clinging onto him like some pathetic lost puppy."
"Stop..."
"If only you weren't such a lazy fatass"
"Stop!"
"If only you were more like Osamu"
"STOP!"
He squeezed his eyes shut as hard as he could to try and block out the voices. He was overthinking. He laid his head on the window, letting the coldness of it wash over him. It was grounding. Slowly, the voices started to become more quiet until they eventually disappeared. He then let himself be carried by the sway of the bus and the soft murmur of his teammates.
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"That's everything, you guys can leave, we'll have a day off tomorrow so get some rest." Atsumu started to get up until, "Oh, Atsumu, a word please."
Uh oh, this couldn't be good.
The rest of the team filtered out the gym, Sakusa giving him a curious glance before leaving with rest.
"Ya wanted a word?"
"Yes, it's about your new serve. I need you to try and practice it a bit more. I know it's still fairly new however you need to try and get the success rate of it as high as your other ones. Your missed serves had an impact during the second set. That's all."
Atsumu nodded his head and bowed deeply. "Your missed serves had an impact during the second set." So he really was dragging his team down. Although that wasn't what his coach said, it felt like he was implying it.
He lifted up his head and saw the changing room door already in front of him. "Oh, I'm here already?."
Pushing it open, he saw that the changing room was deserted. Well, he thought so at least.
"Hey Atsumu."
"AHH, oh Omi-kun, it's just ya. Didn't think ya'd actually wait fer me."
"Why wouldn't I? Now hurry up, I wanna go home"
"Alright, alright," Atsumu drawled lazily, clicking his locker open to retrieve coat and his gym bag. He kicked it shut and walked over to the bench and changed his shoes. When he was done packing away his shoes and putting on his coat, he casually made his way to Sakusa and slid his hand in his "Okay, 'm done, let's go."
The couple headed outside as they strolled down the familiar path to their home. They walked with a comfortable silence, admiring the now setting sun and the deserted street lined up with small shops. It felt nice, after all the chaos on court. After a while Sakusa began to speak.
"So, Atsumu,"
"Hmm?"
"What did coach talk to you about?"
"Ah, that," he chuckled, trying to brush off the empty feeling at the pit of his stomach with faked confidence. "It was just about my new serve, about how I need to improve it or some shit."
Sakusa could tell by the uncomfortable look in his eyes and by how forced his smile was that he didn't want to talk about it. So, he didn't push him any further and just let the silence they had continue.
5 minutes later, they reached their house. Atsumu entered first, toeing off his shoes by the entrance. His boyfriend followed, doing the same. When he was finished hanging up his coat and putting the rest of his things to their designated places, he went to the living room and sat down on the sofa, relishing the ache in his legs beginning to dull. He threw his head back as he began to think. His brain just couldn't seem to shut up.
His mind then started to drift off somewhere else far, far away until-
"You okay, Atsu?"
And just like before, he was forcefully pulled out of his thoughts and dragged back to reality.
"Huh? Oh, yep, right as rain Omi-Omi, what do ya need?"
"Oh nothing, I just wanted to tell you that I'm going to go shower now."
"Okay, I'll wait fer ya."
Sakusa gave him a quick peck to the cheek and started to walk away but before he left the room completely, he looked back at Atsumu. His usually bright eyes seemed so... lifeless as they stared at something only he could see. His wide grin was replaced with a small frown and a crease between eyebrows. "What happened? Why was he suddenly so...quiet?" He walked into the bathroom and shut the door and hoped that this was only because of the sting from their loss and that he would be better tomorrow.
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Atsumu couldn't sleep. At all. He tossed and turned, accidentally kicking Sakusa in the process but nothing worked. The clock ticked from 11 to 12, to 1 then to 2 . Eventually, he gave up on sleeping, removing the duvet from on top of him, this time being careful not to wake his boyfriend (again).
Putting on his slippers, he slipped through the door, closing it quietly, before creeping into the living room. He grabbed the remote and went onto YouTube flicking through all his previous matches before finally selecting his very first match as a starter for the MSBY Black Jackals. He watched, observed and absorbed every point he scored, every set he gave, every serve he missed. He watched match after match, staring unblinkingly at the bright screen, making mental notes on all his mistakes. Soon, the sun's rays began to peek through the curtains, bringing Atsumu's attention to the small clock perched upon the TV stand. Red, digital numbers glared back at him, the numbers forming the time 05:30. Wait what?! 05:30?! Did he really stay up for that long? He had to go to practice soon. Wait, what practice? Oh, oh yeah, he didn't have any. He could just rest.
So, he turned off the TV and started to walk back to his room, back to Sakusa when, "If only you weren't such a lazy fatass."
The voice rang in his ears and echoed in his skull, taunting him, mocking him. A small whisper escaped him, "It was right."
It may be right, however, Atsumu wasn't one to just give up to some bodiless voice. "Forget rest, I need to practice."
Sneaking back into the room, he peered over Sakusa and, indeed, his boyfriend was still deeply asleep. "No wonder," he thought, "Yesterday was exhausting." He slid the wardrobe doors open and grabbed a loose pair of black shorts, a white t-shirt and a thin jacket.
Just as he was about to leave the room, a soft voice made him freeze.
"Atsu?"
"Omi-kun? Why're ya awake, did I wake ya again?"
"Where're you going?" he slurred, his sentence laced heavily with sleep.
"Oh, uhhh, 'Samu needed extra help with his restaurant and he called me to help!:
It was obviously a lie but luckily his boyfriend was too tired to realise.
"'Kay... bye..."
"Bye Omi-omi, get some more sleep."
He stood there and waited until his boyfriend was fully asleep before sneaking back out. "That was way too close." Sighing, he went into the bathroom and took a quick shower, changed into the clothes he brought then dried his hair off, not bothering to style it, filled up his water bottle and grabbed a protein bar from the cupboard above. And after snatching the gym keys, house keys and phone, stepped foot outside.
"Today was a nice day," Atsumu thought. It really was. The sun has only just started to rise above the horizon, painting the sky in pretty hues of pink and orange. There was a few wispy clouds and a gentle breeze blew, creating the perfect temperature. The street was quiet, everyone still tucked under the covers and the only soumds he heard was the chirps from the birds, communicating in a way that only they could understand.
The blonde setter began to jog to gym, pacing himself at first, then slowly increasing his pace.
He ran, he ran to catch up with his teammates, ran to become the best setter.
He ran to outrun his thoughts, once and for all.