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“Chris, wait!” Alex ran up desperately behind his lover, his shoes slapping against concrete. He tried to rest his hand on Chris’ shoulder, but Chris shrugged him off.
“Lex don’t you get it! I don’t love you anymore!” were the words that ripped from Chris’ throat in response. Alex’s eyes widened and stayed that way for a while.
As the moments stretched on, and the implication of what Chris had said sunk deeper, water began to pool at the edges of Alex’s eyes and threatened to take over his entire face.
“Chris… what?” He asked quietly. His lip began trembling.
“You heard me,” Chris’ voice grew a little smaller, too, but Alex hadn’t noticed that. “Ever think that maybe i’m not a fag like you are? That… that I was in this just to see what it was like? Th-that everyone you knew was right about me,” Chris’ excuses were sliced clean off by his friend’s near interruption.
“No! I didn’t think that, like, ever! In fact, I never thought that word would come out of your mouth,” Alex yelled. His knuckles were white as he unknowingly clench his fists. He was already so exhausted. He just wanted things to go back to the way they were: before Chris started acting distant. Had Chris forgotten all of it? About everything I told him before we became something more? Those were the thoughts that plagued Alex’s head and tired him out.
Chris knew about the bullying, about how deep that word could cut. He may only have said half of it, but hearing that word cut through Alex down fully, especially hearing it from Chris. The one person he thought loved him.
He knew his lover was speaking nonsense; it was the normal, but Chris was beginning to sound like his father and, well… everyone else.
“You don’t seriously expect me to believe that, do you?” Alex let out a rude, hurt laugh. More like a scoff. “We’ve been together for almost a year! Did you even know it’s our anniversary tomorrow? You’ve got to be shitting me, Chris, if you wanted to know what it’s like to be gay you could’ve just asked. Instead of that, you just had to waste both our time!” Alex continued, but he didn’t get a chance to keep going, as that was the final cut that Chris could take.
The parking lot was silent until someone spoke. Alex hadn’t even noticed Chris climbing into a vehicle. He didn’t notice a lot of things, looking back on it. “Fuck you, then,” Chris said under his breath, yet loudly, frustrated, not sparing a glance at his friend as he pulled his jeep’s door closed.
Not even in their final moments together could Chris face Alex honestly. He should’ve been listening to him instead of his parents. Should’ve looked at Alex’s pretty pale green eyes, freckles, and eyelashes and saw him for who he is instead of the ‘shameful’ name that came out of his parents’ mouth.
That made something in Chris sting, yet he ignored it and ignited his camo jeep. He just wanted to blend in. That’s all he ever wanted.
He drove away before Alex could even process this mess, taking what was almost a year with him. It wasn’t until Chris made it onto the road, what felt like far too late to turn back, that Alex finally let his tears fall.
Soon after, his whole body fell, too. He felt like an idiot for ever loving Chris, or for trusting him for that matter. Once anyone figures out the truth about him and his preferences, all they do is leave or ignore him. “Exactly what Chris did,” he thought bitterly. “Maybe I should stop trusting people,” was the thought that followed after that.
Chris bit the inside of his cheek as his eyes stung and reddened. He listened to country rock and focused on his drive home. He didn’t find peace in the wind blowing his hair, like he normally did. He wasn’t smiling, either.
When he got home, he told his family the news and their icy demeanour completely froze off. They guided him to a table full of turkey, gravy, peas, corn, you name it. It was a whole damn buffet.
Despite how much food Chris ate (he was definitely gonna gain a few pounds tomorrow) he still felt empty. He felt wrong for it, but he wished Alex was there, chewing and smiling along side him; always the beam of light and happiness in every situation.
“I’m sure he’ll be just fine without me,” he thought absently as he washed the night and his thoughts away with some liquor, the burn down his throat matching the guilt he felt.
Alex, on the other hand, cried and cried for hours in a dark and freezing parking lot. He cried into his hands, his knees, his sleeve, and even the pavement a bit. He barely noticed the cold biting at him, turning his skin slightly pink and purple. His eyes and heart were too tired.
He rubbed at his eyes, puffy and wet, feeling like they were about to sag and fall off of him. Just like frosting slowly descending atop of a cake.
He remembered his birthday coming up in roughly 6 days. He thought about how Chris wouldn’t be there with him to celebrate, to smile and laugh, to blow out candles and wish for more time. To kiss his cheeks when no one was looking. His head dropped and his hands gripped his head harder, ready to cry again. He thought he was finished, honestly, he did, but he just kept thinking of things that made him sad, saddened, and sadder. God, was he hungry.
He didn’t have a place to stay, never had a place to belong, so he pulled his hood over his head and glued his eyes to the sidewalk, feeling ever so weak and vulnerable.
He wandered aimlessly and eventually found a motel.
One indulged in alcohol as the other looked for the alcoholic in every person they tasted like wine.
We’ll never know what happened to them after that; if they ever righted their wrongs. That’s stories for you, i’m afraid: there’s really no good way to end them.