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Ever since you’ve watched Death Note, You’ve developed a raging crush on Matt Jeevas. Him and his 5 minutes of screen time before his eventual abrupt death. Safe to say, you were heartbroken when you watched him get shot down by the army of cops.
Ever since then; you’ve had plenty of other anime crushes, but nothing quite hits the same as he did—he just had this special charm to him, nobody was half as cool or had the same vibe as him, he truly was just a one time experience.
You ended up often filling up the hole in your heart left by his death with fanfiction, specifically self insert fanfics with him.
In dating, you had no luck; not because you were ugly or an obsessive weeb no, it’s just that every time a man would show interest or strike up a conversation with you—your mind would always stray back to thinking: “He’s not Matt though”
At that point you’ve completely given up on finding someone who made you feel the same way that Matt did and accepted the fact that you’re most likely going to hopelessly die a virgin.
He’s always been just a fantasy to you—that is, until one day; you met him. Tobias Erin Rogers. The living breathing image of Matt. Stepping into your life right in the flesh. You thought that your eyes were deceiving you then.
At first you couldn’t believe it; no way he just happens to somehow look exactly like Matt! There had to be a catch.
And with that you predicted right, despite him looking nearly identical to Matt; he couldn’t act further from the canonical Matt. He was energetic, rugged, loud, unstable, and enthusiastic around you; a complete contrast to the cool, collected, intelligent man that you fell in love with on the screen.
This disappointed you, yes. But for some reason you weren’t completely turned off by him. The moment you first laid eyes on him, you knew that he wasn’t Matt; despite that, you still quite enjoyed his company—even if he’s nothing like Matt, he was still fun to be around.
He’d always be so helpful especially when you needed help with physical labour, offering to carry around heavy equipment for you when you needed it—not only that; he’d also bring you back small trinkets from missions that he thought you’d like, specifically tailored to your tastes.
He’s even so thoughtful as to keep you company when you’re cold and alone in your room! Sometimes during thunderstorms, he’d even hesitantly hold your hand when you said you were scared of thunder.
He’d put up a brave act in front of you even though he’s also scared of thunder—maybe even more than you, loud noises remind him of his father.
You’ve noticed how he’d shake even harder than you when he’s the one consoling you; you pretend not to notice and appreciate him even more now.
You hardly ever commented about his stutter or his tics since he’s likely conscious about them. If anything, you found it to be a pretty cute quirk of his—he was so cute when he’d get flustered and release all kinds of peculiar noises.
Evidence of this is how he constantly exceeds way too much effort in trying to mask his vocal tics even when you reassure him about how he doesn’t have to, he stubbornly insists that he isn’t when it’s obvious that he’s straining himself.
He’d insist on taking you along with him to explore abandoned buildings ‘for fun’ he says, as he endlessly teased you until you both returned to the manor if you expressed anything remotely close to fear while exploring; as if he wasn’t screaming like a girl when you scared him back!
Oh wait no he was faking it to make you feel better, dang it—!
Now he’s teasing you about how you actually believed such a clearly exaggerated scream like that! Tears are rolling down his cheeks as he chuckles as your pouting face.
And before you knew it, your relationship with him slowly started to become less about Matt and more about Toby. There’s no doubt, you were falling for him, and hard.
Matt was gradually shifting away from the main subject of your thoughts, now Toby has infiltrated your mind instead of Matt—no, you felt even harder for Toby than you ever did for Matt.
This was something different, a feeling that felt better and even stronger than what you felt for Matt.
Matt could only provide you with an artificial kind of affection; Toby, was the real thing, who provides to you the warmth in the touch of a real human being.
Then it hit you: this was real. Toby was real. Matt was no longer your main romantic priority—you don’t see Matt in Toby anymore; you see Toby in Matt.
That was when you decided to begin actively pursuing him romantically.
You’d laugh extra hard at everything he’d say even if it wasn’t funny, probably looking like you lost it.
Go out of your way to hand bake him a small treat every time he’d go out for a longer mission—even if you had to wake up extra early in the morning to prepare; it was always worth it to see your crush smile at you.
“They baked you cookies? Damn, they must really like you huh?” Tim teased him, your feelings were as clear as day to them.
“I-it’s not like that…they’re just b-being nice…” Toby replies, visibly blushing at the sweet treats you gave him before the mission.
“Then why didn’t they make us any cookies?” Brian says; it’s more of a rhetorical question since both him and Brian know full well what he answer is.
“I d-dunno..” Toby mumbles, he is clearly not paying attention to the other two in the truck as he sniffs a whiff of your cookies baked with love.
“They’re both not seriously that blind are they?” Whispering into Tim’s ear, Brian asks—loud enough for Toby to hear; the boy is too lost in his thoughts thinking about you to listen.
You did anything in your power to get him to take the damned hint!
You even went as far as to post a picture online of you kissing the cheek of a Matt cosplayer who looked near identical to him at a convention once! The reception? Nothing, a bunch of reactions from friends and followers squealing but no comment from Toby.
You know that he saw it; Toby isn’t the type to just ignore you like that. It’s his extensive attentiveness that even gave you the confidence to even make an attempt on him in the first place!
You then begin to wonder if he’s purposely ignoring you, not because he’s oblivious—but because he’s aware, just uninterested and you’ve been desperately chasing him around this entire time!
Toby on the other hand, is experiencing the complete opposite of your imagination. You have him clutching his phone so tightly that he almost shatters it into pieces upon seeing the photo.
He thought that you had taken that photo whilst he was drunk and you were now dating, but he could only wish—he quickly realized that the cosplayer in the photo was not him when he noticed that the man you were kissing didn’t have a gauge right next to his mouth..
Both disappointed and relieved, he sighs.
Now despite your beliefs, the feeling was absolutely mutual—excluding the anime crush part though, Toby can’t quite recall a time when he felt this strongly about anybody else.
While you were believing that he had been uninterested in you; he had been pining just as much if not even harder for you!
He’d often find himself hanging out with Jeff and Ben rambling about you and how cute you were when you’d cling onto him in the abandoned building when they’d both groan in annoyance every time your name was mentioned.
“Dude you’re SO obvious, just confess to them already!” Jeff uttered
“B-but what if they d-don’t feel the s-same??” Toby worriedly mutters a counter argument.
“Tobes, they’re clearly into you too if they’re going out of their way to go with you to places like that when they’re scared” Ben convinced.
“I couldn’t get them to download League if i told them my head would explode if they didn’t.” Ben says as he wins the 1v1 match against Toby in a pvp game though Toby doesn’t really seem to care too much about his loss—prompting Ben to be uncaring about his victory.
Ben sets his controller down “Buttt, you do look a whole lot like their husbando Matt Jeevas~” Ben coos,
“Ew, never say husbando ever again.” Jeff gags.
“They just like me more, t-that’s it.” Toby reasons, he always makes excuses to turn a blind eye to your clear feelings towards him.
Though that Matt line does stick with him.
“Whatever you say pal” Jeff sighs, giving up on trying to convince Toby that his feelings are reciprocated.
Turns out both of you were both completely oblivious to each other’s feelings towards one another. Every third party saw it was clear as day though that you were both into each other.
It’s like a curse was placed upon the both of you were everyone else could see it except for you two. Perhaps it’s not stupidity but just flat out refusal to believe it from both parties.
“That shit is so corny—just fuck already damn!” Jeff complains to Ben—it’s been weeks and the most progress your relationship has gone was
“Heh, ya wanna bet on which of those idiots’ll figure it out first?” Ben gives him a cheeky look.
“Sure, who’s your bet?” Jeff asks, down with the betting.
“20 bucks on Toby” Ben declares, holding up a 20 dollar bill and placing it down between him and Jeff.
“Bold choice. I guess I'll go for y/n then.” Jeff says, confident that you’d at least be smart enough to see clearer than Toby, also laying down a 20 dollar bill on top of Ben’s as they shake hands on the agreement.
“What’re you guys talking about?” You’d walk into the room, oblivious.
Jeff was about to scream and unfold how annoyed he is with your obliviousness but Ben is quick to cover his mouth and muffle his complaints.
“Drugs!” Ben makes up a swift excuse, giving Jeff a quick side eye. “No cheating.” he whispered.
“Oh, okay!” you said, pretty much used to their shenanigans by now.
“Have you guys seen Toby? I found this cool new cafe in town and I wanted to ask if he could go with me.” you asked, fidgeting with your fingers and excessively overcorrected your posture.
“Nah, but I bet he’s pickin out a rock just for you somewhere outside”
“Really? Thanks Ben!” you waved off as you turned around to exit the room.
Oh yeah you were totally oblivious. Jeff now suddenly understood why Ben bet against you and felt all the more doubtful about his bet on you.
“Yeah, have fun on your date by the way!” he giggled, however you paid him no mind and left.
“No cheating huh?” Jeff seethed at his friend’s hypocrisy, slapping his hand away from his mouth.
“It’s not cheating! She asked” Ben stuck his tongue out and winked.
“DON’T GIMME THAT CRAP!”
─ ⋆⋅ ꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱ ⋅⋆ ─
When the other residents finally all decided that they were fed up with your shenanigans they formulated a plan that was guaranteed to get you two to fess up and finally get it on without being painfully oblivious.
They invited both you and Toby to play 7 minutes in heaven with a bottle spin dictating who goes into the closet together. You and Toby were “coincidentally” sat directly across from each other.
Jane rigged the bottle with a metal cork and a magnet beneath the table to guide the bottle to point towards anyone to her choosing; of course, everyone sat around the table is in on the scheme too.
She made sure that neither you nor Toby were chosen to go into the closet until it was your turn—even if it did mean being in the closet with Jeff for 7 minutes because the cork almost landed on you and Jeff was the one who just happened to be the one next to you.
When your turn came, Jane was the one who spun the bottle for you—just as she was going to rig the bottle to point towards Toby, it abruptly stopped with the cork pointing right at him without the need to use the magnet beneath the table.
This ultimatum surprised Jane that she didn’t have to alter any of the game’s course—it was a 1 in 6 chance anyways. But the rest of the contestants assumed that it was the result of Jane’s doing.
You both enter the closet together and suddenly the room falls silent as all the remaining contestants share whispers of anticipation of what’ll result once you two exit the closet.
“Hey” you brushed a strand of hair behind your ear, sitting comfortably in the mildly claustrophobic space you’re both in.
“Guess i-it’s gonna be the b-both of us huh?” he comments.
"At least you didn’t get stuck with Tim though” you chuckled.
“Haha! That would’ve been a nightmare!” the tension slowly resolves itself when he said that.
The rest of the residents listened intently—even though they could hardly make out just what was going on on the other side.
“Hey y-y/n?” The tenderness in his voice catches you off guard.
“Yes?”
“S-so…about that Matt guy…” he started, nervously fiddling with his fingers.
You wanted to groan at the mention of his name—you were at the point in the process of moving on from a crush where you get bored at the mention of their name.
To be completely honest, you hadn’t thought about Matt since you met up with that cosplayer. To be honest, you didn’t feel anything for him anymore.
“Yeah? What about him?” A sudden feeling of shame comes over you, Matt wasn’t in your heart anymore.
“I just wanted t-to ask…” he starts as his face remains bare and simply his—no residue pointing to Matt. Right now, all you can see is Toby.
“Do you…h-hang out with me b-because I look l-like him?” He asks, looking like a kicked puppy in this vulnerable moment.
‘No you idiot! You got it all wrong!’ You wanted to scream at him; your breath got caught in your throat.
At first you did, they looked practically identical; as time passed and you spent more time with Toby, you began to see him more for him than as Matt.
You slowly eased into the reality that Toby wasn’t Matt and he was completely different from Matt, and that was okay.
Because you prefer him over Matt. You adore his quirks and individual qualities that set him apart from Matt. The only thing they have in common is their looks and you like Toby more because he’s just so himself.
“No” you admit, a bit too quickly.
“I um..well it’s kinda embarrassing..” scratching the back of your head, you think about how to convey your feelings into just words.
“Well I thought I did—until I actually started to hang out with you” Your words trailed off.
“You’re really sweet, and before I knew it—you were all I could think of” Confessing your feelings straight up to his face in an isolated space made you feel dizzy.
“S-so you’re saying t-that…” he starts—the wires in his head seemed to finally connect when he lets out an audible gasp.
“Yeah…” heat rushes to your cheeks and you find yourself looking down to avert his gaze, at that moment you felt so small.
“I’m sorry if you don’t feel the same way—we could still be friends though! If you—” you were about to reject yourself, allowing your doubts to cloud your thoughts that you didn’t realize that the man before you was practically buffering.
“I like you t-too, y/n.” he states, cutting you off before you can dig up your own grave and bury yourself alive—looking more passionate than you’ve ever seen him before.
“You do?” You let out a sigh of relief, realizing that you hadn’t completely humiliated yourself in this game.
“No—I, I love you.” He rejects the weaker term and resorts to be more passionate.
Your heart sank when he said no but you swiftly recovered when he corrected himself.
He shifts his position towards you, grabbing both of your hands and leans in so your faces are inches apart.
“Y/n, I’ve l-liked you ever since I’ve met you, w-when you greeted me a-at the manor, t-the first t-time we met—n-nobody ever l-looked at me like t-that…E-everyone always looks at m-me like I’m some f-freak..but you..you never did. A-and when you b-baked me those cookies? That sealed the deal f-for me—I knew I loved y-you at that moment.”
He suddenly began rambling continuously about his feelings for you, passion in its purest form took over as he made absolutely no effort on fighting back his stutters to formulate a coherent sentence.
“Don’t scare me like that you jerk” chuckling, you elbow him fondly, needing a minute to slowly process all the things he just threw at you.
“Haha! I’m the j-jerk? You’re the one who k-kissed that dude!” He delightfully remarked, nerves still shaking from his long declaration of love. It clearly feels nice though—to finally release all of that off his chest.
“On the cheek! I wanted to give you a hint! He was just a nice guy anyways!” You protested against the implication laced by his claim.
“R-righttt right!” He teases.
“But in all seriousness though, is that really how you felt about me all this time?” Wide eyed, you ask.
“Nah, I j-just said that f-for the plot!” Sarcastically, he jokes.
“Of c-course I love y-you!” He quickly jolts forward in emphasis.
“Hehe, I love you too, ya idiot~” You trace a finger along his face, watching intently at his mouth movement whenever he stutters and tics.
“I d-don’t believe it” Suddenly, he says—furrowing his brows.
“What?”
“W-who do you like more: Me o-or Matt?” he then throws out the question that has been on his mind ever since Ben brought it up.
“Aw come on—what is this?” You groan at the sudden pressure interview.
“T-that’s not an a-answer, me o-or Matt?” He presses on as if the answer isn’t clear as day.
“You of course! Dummy” you said.
“Good.”
The miniscule space is then overtaken by silence as the two of you cease your bantering, only then do you realize just how close he is to you—
His breath hitches when it registers in his mind, he’s practically breathing on you as you can feel his breath on your face and vise versa.
“S-so what d-do we do now?” he asks.
“I guess this is the part where we…” You glance down at his lips before returning your gaze to his eyes.
Were his eyes always that pretty? You wonder.
Before you realized what was happening, you closed your eyes as your body practically magnetized itself towards Toby and your lips pressed against his.
His scent was of the forest, his lips were softer than you expected—you pressed a hand against his cheek and you covered the hole next to his mouth with your hand.
He was so warm…or maybe that’s just the closet overfilling with carbon dioxide from both of you bantering back and forth.
You don’t know how much time has passed but just enough for the outside participants to open the closet door, revealing the both of you finally kissing.
To be fair, the both of you kind of forgot that you were even playing a game in the first place. That round felt way longer than 7 minutes—and were they counting down before unlatching the door?
“Awh darn it! I bet that they’d chicken out…” Nina whines as she hands Jane a 20 dollar bill.
“I told ya” She coos as Nina grumbles upon her loss.
“WHO CONFESSED FIRST?!?” Emerging from the outside, the both of you are met with Jeff instantly divulging for details.
“Yeah who?!” Ben follows.
“Pardon?” You mutter, only half sober.
“I bet good money on you, Toby!” Ben pointed an accusatory finger at him.
“W-what the hell?” He says.