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Mia had entered the hall hoping to get away from the deafening din of the cafeteria. She had seen this part of the courthouse only in passing, while hurriedly shuffling papers and leading clients from courtroom to courtroom. This was the first time she noticed the vending machine.
She felt peckish and in the mood for something sweet. Two Swiss rolls for $5. This pricing seemed to her as close to a mugging by an inanimate object as one can get, but low blood-sugar and a long day had forced her hand into her pocket.
Begrudgingly, she took out a crumpled $5 note and fed it to the machine’s slit mouth. The machine took it and spat it out like an ungrateful toddler. Mia was already planning the angle and velocity of the kick she was going to deliver to this block of scrap.
As if sensing her malicious intent rising, the machine finally accepted the note and beamed with eager noises and lights prompting Mia to select what she wanted. Mia felt relieved that she did not have to gut this machine like a fish with the nearby fire extinguisher and was happy to see it cooperating.
Her benevolent mood did not last long, however. When she pressed the button, Mia heard an intricate symphony of moving mechanisms and metallic whirls, but no chocolate-flavored Swiss rolls came out!
A balled up fist was placed gently on the glass display, and Mia began invoking a series of whispered curses on the day they ever wheeled this hunk of junk in.
“Having trouble with that?”
Mia heard a resounding voice say as a woman in a striking turquoise pantsuit and wine-colored shirt approached her.
“It took my money and it won’t give me what I want.”
“I know. I could tell. Let me help you.”
Taking Mia’s place, Calisto stood in front of the machine and kicked it with surgical precision. The movements seemed
routine. This was someone used to tussling with this thing.
The machine spat out the rolls as a gesture of surrender. Mia bent down to pick them up.
“Thanks a lot. I wasn’t going to be as nice as you to this thing.”
Calisto held back uproarious laughter, but this appeared to Mia only as a smile traveling end-to-end on Calisto’s face. Calisto knew she had caught a lively one.
“Two is too many for me. Do you want one?” Mia said.
“Oh, uh.. sure.”
Calisto saw Mia swerving her head left and right looking for a place to sit, so she directed Mia’s attention to the bench just below the barred window at the end of the hallway.
“Let’s sit over there. It’s where I go when I come here.”
Even something as subtle as corralling someone into a specific seat, a surrender of will as small as this, was critical for Calisto.
Having sat down, Mia took out one of the packaged rolls and handed it over to Calisto. Then, she took hers out and tugged at the packaging’s ears to open it. Mia eagerly plucked the roll out and began wolfing it down. Calisto observed even the most mundane behaviors as part of her ‘assessments’, as she called them.
Calisto’s roll remained by her side, unopened.
“You know, I’ve been seeing you around the courthouse,” Calisto said in a tone that fell just shy of friendly.
Mia glanced over at her and gave her a puzzled look, a bit of chocolate stuck to her mouth, which made Calisto burst out in laughter.
“I’m.. I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to sound like I was stalking you!” Calisto’s words were breathless and spoken through laughter. “I just meant it was nice to see another one of us around here, you know?” Calisto moved her left hand back and forth in the space between them. Everyone likes to be included into some clique, no matter how small, no matter how insignificant. It’s critical to make someone believe you and them are in the same boat.
Mia was startled by the sudden bout of laughter, but took it as Calisto feeling comfortable around her.
“Yeah.. I know exactly what you mean. We’re surrounded. You have to stand around old wrinkly sausages like my boss all day. He won’t stop talking about his hemorrhoids!” Mia said with the force of an outburst, sending Calisto into hysterics.
“No way! There is no way!” Calisto was fanning herself with her hands and trying to catch her breath.
“Way… it sucks!” Mia said, just before biting into her roll with gusto. Calisto left hers untouched, still. She took out her pocket mirror, traced her lips with lip balm, and checked to see if her freckles were still on.
After Mia’s blood sugar returned to normal levels, she managed to remember her manners.
“Sorry, I forgot to introduce myself. I’m Mia Fey, defense attorney at Grossberg Law.” Mia was talking between mouthfuls of chocolate rolls.
Calisto drew a smile, and put on the bubbliest voice she could manage (one that still came out as a full-bodied contralto) and said “I’m Calisto Yew, defense attorney at Faraday & Partners.”
“Calisto, listen, we’ll exchange business cards and all that, but I’m really thirsty. Do you know where I can get something to drink without being extorted?”
Calisto had noticed that a look of regret planted itself on Mia’s face. It was the regret of someone who ate something too sweet without anything to drink. Calisto knew the tea thermos Faraday prepares was nearby and saw another opportunity to deepen Mia’s ‘debt’.
“Yes. Just a minute.”
Calisto got up and went into the adjacent room and came out with a cup of fragrant, bergamot tea.
It was when Calisto was walking back that Mia caught a cloudful of her suffocatingly strong perfume. “Distilled Essence of Femininity” is what Mia imagined written on the (undoubtedly) pink and bulbous bottle. Alongside the tea, it was altogether a bit too much for anyone. Calisto handed Mia her cup of tea and sat down next to her.
“Thank you so much. I love your perfume, by the way.”
“Thanks, I love it too!” Calisto laughed at her own joke.
Mia let out a sigh and shook her head as she brought the cup of tea close and started blowing on it to cool it. Calisto took this as an opportunity to needle Mia with questions.
“How come I always see you leaving the courtroom in a hurry when you’re done? Don’t like any of the people around here?”
A recluse, someone who insists on keeping to themselves, is always more vulnerable.
“I don’t know… People here aren’t the kind of people I usually befriend. I don’t want to stay in a place any longer than I have to,” Mia said.
Calisto eyed Mia up and down briefly and chuckled.
“Don’t be like that. You never know. I’m buddy-buddy with a detective here, and sometimes prosecutor Faraday even brings around his little brat. She’s very “cute”, fierce, but she likes me a lot and calls me… pfft… “Ms. Yew”
“If they forget the ‘Ms’ do you glare at them until they say it? You seem to be that kind of person.”
“That’s your takeaway?” Calisto said with a cackle. “You really are something, Mia.”
“I’m just teasing you. You’re right. How about we become ‘buddy-buddies’, as you say?” Mia faced Calisto with a smile.
“Oh, you are too nice, Mia,” Calisto said, with more sincerity than planned.
“I mean, we have to stick together after all… You know... girlpower and all that. Hiya! Right? No?” Mia stuck her fist out in a parody of the Pink Princess, wife of the Steel Samurai.
“No. That stuff’s… pfft…for kids. Act your age… grown woman.. HAHAHAHAHAH”
“Well, aren’t you the adult in the room?”
Calisto enjoyed toying with such a spirited prey, and when she saw the magatama necklace swinging around Mia’s neck as she spoke, a shot of adrenaline flooded her. A beautiful, purple gem carved in a comma-like shape. Calisto heard about these things and the kind of people who wear them but never seen one so up close. A spirit medium who passed the bar exam is a rare sight.
“Oh, is that a maga… maga-something?” Calisto asked, feigning ignorance.
“A magatama, yes.”
“So.. you’re Mystic Mia..” Calisto had put her hands together and mimed a show of deep respect.
“Stop that.” Mia swatted away her pantomime with a laugh in her voice. “I can curse you, you know,” Mia said with the authoritative voice of a medium.
“A lawyer and a medium.. You must be the pride of your village.”
“As a matter of fact, I am. Hmph.” Mia puffed up her chest with pretend pride. Calisto crumpled up in laughter.
“What’s so funny?”
“Mia… you’re so funny.”
“Or maybe.. everything is a joke to you.” Mia started her own fit of laughter.
Just then, a bailiff came in.
“Ms. Yew? Court will be back in session soon.”
Calisto took out a business card, gave it to Mia, and got up.
Calisto made a performance of asking to leave: “Mystic Mia, it’s been a pleasure, and I’m happy to have met you. May my soul be released to go on with its legal duties?”
Mia began playfully pondering the matter and rested her cheek on her fist. “Hmm, how about I leave you stranded as a vengeful spirit that roams the earth instead? Yeah…” A giggle capped her proposition.
“Why, thank you so much. That would suit me perfectly well,” Calisto said as she put her hands together and bowed. She raised her head and gave Mia a wink and a smile.
“I’ll see you around, Mia. Thanks for the roll.”
“Oh, no problem. See you later.”
The roll which Calisto promptly threw into the trash as soon as Mia was out of sight.