Chapter Text

Hermione had forgotten that she was brewing tea again. The oversteeped liquid was far too strong for her liking. That made it the third time that week, which meant that she would have to tell her doctor on Monday. She made it to Friday which was a good sign but, the fact it happened at all was a very bad sign. Memories were tricky, she could remember the first 100 numbers of Pi but, rarely where she sat her purse at when she went to the pub. She also knew what to do when she was on fire, (stop, drop, and roll) when the planet was being polluted, (reduce, reuse, and recycle) and Donald Duck’s three nephews (Huey, Dewey, and Louie). The easy stuff was facts or simple to remember or had something to do with what she learned in school. The hard stuff was the personal stuff. Birthdays, middle names, and how exactly she knew someone.

She decided since she remembered that this event had happened three times this week that that was an overall positive in her recovery. She dumped her tea kettle out in the sink and tapped her foot until she remembered to write in her planner about Monday. The tapping alerted her only co-inhabitant to the possibility of food and Crooks bounded in to investigate the noise. Crookshanks was a beast of a cat that most vets shrug and call a Maine Coon, it was a miracle he didn’t bow her over when he ran into her. She doesn’t remember when she got the creature but, she does remember how it felt the first time he curled up on her chest to fall asleep and that’s the memory that was worth the most to her.

“I am very glad that I will never forget to feed you Crooks” She remarked placing her kettle back on the stove and resigning to try again another day. He grumbled a meow and went to his food dish and the suggestion. Shaking her head she went to the cupboard where his wet food was and peeled back the tin. He waited rather politely while she shook the contents out and as soon as her hand was out of danger he dove in to his breakfast. She marked in her planner for Monday and picked up her mobile to ring Ginny.

Ginerva Molly Potter (“Why can’t my full name be one of the memories you lost.”) was often times Hermione’s most favorite person. Ginny was as close as a sister, and for a brief period time they were. The phone rang three times and then her call was blocked, which caused Hermione to frown. Ginny knew half of what Hermione didn’t, the other half Pansy Parkinson knew. Pansy picked up on the first ring.

“‘Bout time ‘Mione!” Pansy hollered into the receiver.

“Thank goodness someone still cares, Ginny blocked my call” Hermione said idly drawing in the margins of her planner.

“That’s cause it’s her peak fertility window” She offered casually “Her and Potter were probably going at it” Hermione grimaced.

“I would really like to not have the image of my two best friends . . . fornicating in my head.”

“How do you think Gin felt when you were shagging her brother?”

“Touché” She took her planner to her sofa and set in to go over her day today.

“Alright, I kno- Hey! why was Ginny first call?”

“You were first last week, it’s Ginny’s turn, and before you start I know cause I wrote a G last Friday and a P on this Friday.” She could hear her friend’s fake hurt through the phone.

“I will remember this betrayal Granger”

“Someone has to” She could hear Pansy chuckle darkly on the other end. “Now can we finally talk about my schedule?”

“Yes ‘Mione Jean go on,”

“So today we are going to the new cafe off High Street. Then tonight is pub night with everyone. Saturday we are having dinner at your place and Sunday I am taking another shift at the library overnight.”

“Why do you need the extra shifts?”

“I don’t but, the university is having an influx of students demanding night studies and they needed someone to test run the program.”

“And your name was first on the list?”

“Always is”

“Thatta girl!” Muffled swearing came through. “Okay I am going to try and make it look like I wasn’t completely pissed last night and you- wait, do you need a lift?”

“No, I will probably ride with Ginny.”

“After she’s done riding Potter?”

“Pansy!”

“See ya later!” Snapping her phone shut she rubbed her temples. Ginny was an easy to friend to have especially when they were in-laws. Their friendship was one that kept her grounded. She can’t remember when she first met Ginny but, she remembered the way Ginny and her stayed up all night the weeks after her divorce from Ron and as usual what she could remember was always worth more than what she couldn’t. While Ginny was a comfort that kept her company on her sofa in an all too empty house. It was Pansy that got her off the sofa and in a mini skirt and heels that had hurt her feet and makeup that caused acne breakouts. They were the perfect mix to keep Hermione on her toes and she was grateful to have them. Except for right now while she was waiting on Ginny to ring her back.

While she waited Hermione went over the next week’s plans as well just to be sure. It was a basic week all things considered with a few of her shifts moved to the new night shift. Hermione experienced her least favorite sensation of all after a moment, remembering that she forgot something. She wrapped a curl around her pen while she idly stared at her planner waiting for it to come to her. Instead Ginny came to her. Barreling through her door, offering apologies and red in the face from the two minute walk between their houses.

“I am so sorry time got away from me” She paused and eyed Hermione trying to keep her laugh inside. “Why are you laughing?” Hermione struggled harder. “Did you speak with Pansy? I swear.”

“I did since my other best friend was performing marital duties.” Ginny flopped down on the sofa next to Hermione. The sofa which was a wedding gift from Ginny’s other brother Percy. Ginny and Harry’s wedding gift had been a house. A gift that Ron had fought hard to return to his best friend. Although Harry would never say, Harry bought the house more for Hermione than for Ron. He worried about her like an older brother despite being nearly a year younger than her. His job at the MI6 with Ron coupled with a sizable inheritance, and the pièce de résistance a wrongful death lawsuit involving his uncles. He used the money to make the people in his life comfortable. Comfort was something that Harry lacked growing up before boarding school so, it was something that he strived for in adulthood. A house that was a two minute walk from his front door was the best gift he could imagine for the two people that kept him sane at school.

So, a house with a study and built in bookshelves, a living room that could fit everyone and two empty bedrooms that were supposed to be filled at some point. It had felt lonesome when it was just her and Ron, without him it was nearly cavernous. It made for conveniences that Hermione did her best not to take for granted. The fact that when she didn’t feel like cooking she could shamble next door was always a nice bonus. A perk now is that her best friend was next to her before she could miss her.

“I never thought that trying for a baby would be something I would have to do. I thought Weasley’s were meant for reproducing.” Ginny was the youngest girl of a family of several brothers. Hermione could never remember the exact number or their names really. Percy and Ron were the ones she saw the most often so they stuck. The rest? a blur that she would occasionally see during the holidays.

“Well, Harry’s an only child. Maybe it’s his fault?” She shakes her head.

“No, He got tested and he’s virile, I am just not fertile enough.” She pouted. For the last three months a serious effort to have a child had been consuming Ginny and Harry.

“It will happen when it happens” Hermione offers and immediately cringes at hollow it sounds when she says it.. Ginny rolls her eyes.

“Don’t quit your day job Granger.”

“Actually it’s becoming a night job, they are pursuing the night shift program and I am their guinea pig.” She sucks her teeth before responding.

“Have you told Dr. McGonagall?” Hermione shakes her head. “When will you tell her?”

“Monday. I forgot the tea a third time this week.” Ginny eyes widen at that.

“‘Mione that makes four weeks in a row.” Hermione had thought it been just two weeks in a row.

“You know I was reading this morning about dementia-”

“‘Mione please”

“No listen, I am not saying I have it I just. They say before the patient . . . goes. They will have one good day of clarity left or they will have a trend of getting better before they pass. What if I am the opposite? What if I am getting worse because I am about to be better?” To her credit Ginny seriously considered what Hermione said. She chewed the inside of her cheek while she considered. Ginny was pragmatic and logical in most things. She had been really good at sports in secondary (Rugby?) and thought of most situations as a playing field with a victor and a loser. She was often the one to let all of us know that the glass was in fact half empty. Now though Ginny sensing her excitement seemed to think better about it.

“Maybe it is a sign Hermione.” She smiled weakly at her before letting her head rest on the back of the sofa.

“Look, I will talk to her Monday and let you know but, until then, I want to cling to this.” Hermione turned and saw Ginny nodding. When people looked at Pansy and Ginny they would often be correct in assuming some of their differences. The one most get wrong is who was harsher. Pansy was supportive to a fault, she was the only one that encouraged Harry and Ron’s mustache phase. Ginny was more like a stern mother in that she dealed out heavy doses of reality.

“Okay Granger, I trust you.” She sighed deeply before standing from the sofa and stretching. “Are you ready?” She asks gesturing to her jumper and jeans. A standard outfit for her on the daily and a comfortable one at that.

“Yeah, it’s just you two anyway.” Ginny stuck her tongue out and led the way out of Hermione’s house. They hopped into Ginny’s pint sized car and spent the drive practicing for Karaoke.

“Hermione are you listening?” she blinked at Pansy’s question, because in truth she hadn’t been. The thing she had remembered that she forgot was needling her now. She could feel it on the tip of her tongue.

“No, Sorry” She offered sheepishly. Pansy groaned and started again.

“So, like I was saying. Him and I are standing there talking and he keeps eyeing the DJ because he wants the song he requested to play so he could ask me to dance.” An eyeroll and she continued. “He eventually just stops looking at me and he’s only focused on this DJ, and I am standing there wondering ‘what song did he pick?’.” Hermione and Ginny giggle at the scene in their heads. “He finally just walks away from me -mid sentence mind you- and goes up to the DJ and I can see them having a very animated conversation. He walks back to me and is smug as all get out. He offers his hand to me and right as he asked me. Guess what song played?”

“Wannabe?” Ginny offers.

“Man after Midnight?” Hermione posits.

“Crazy in Love!” Hermione and her friends throw their heads back laughing. Pansy starts to sing part of it and it nearly sends Ginny into a fit.

“Well did his love have you looking crazy or what?” Pansy brushes her off.

“He was a good shag, not even close to the feelings that Beyoncé expressed though.”

“You still shagged him?” Ginny asked incredulous.

“Well I mean, A for effort.” Pansy shrugs and sips her latte.

“You really shouldn’t encourage behavior like that, he’s going to try it on some other girl and think it’s a winner in his playbook.” Ginny chides while Pansy attempts to consider it.

“But, if you really think about it that would just be me punishing myself. That’s not very feminist of me and you should be proud of me.” Ginny acquiesced and sipped her raspberry tea. Pansy was a free spirit who hated to miss out on anything. Even if that thing was a dissatisfying shag or a miserable club.

“Granger stop thinking, this is fun time.” Ginny said putting her hand on her shoulder.

“Wait, look at that glint in her eye.” Both pause and stare at her.

“You’re right Pansy. 'Mione what did you forget?” Hermione seriously debated whether or not to admit that she had forgotten anything at all. They were already worried about her enough as is and it seemed cruel to keep stressing her friends like this. The issue being that she didn’t even know what she forgot. She decided it was best to come up with a cover and just let it be revealed to her later.

“Did I bring my mobile with me?” Ginny nodded.

“It’s in my car.”

“Good.” A beat passed “What time are meeting the guys for pub night?” Ginny checked her watch.

“Not for a few hours, do you want to go shopping or something?'“ Ginny asks.

“We could there is this bookstore-” They both groan. “Oh come on.”

“Tell you what we will go to the bookstore with you” Pansy points to her and Ginny. “If you go to the lingerie store with us”

“Amazing offer, I will have to pass.” The girls stand up to gather their things. Ginny disappears for a minute to retrieve Hermione’s mobile while Pansy and Hermione agree on a meeting place.

“The fountain by that little park, the one that has it’s knob out.” Hermione nodded because she did remember where that was for some reason. “If nothing else come back here.”

“I am a big girl Pansy, I will be fine.” Pansy ruffles her hair as Ginny walks back and hands her the phone.

“Be safe!” After the girls separate Hermione walks the path that she studied online. She had heard about this place from one of her coworkers and desperately wanted to check it out. The issue she is only just beginning to leave the buddy system again and none of her friends could spend hours in a place like that with her. Pansy didn’t understand why she couldn’t just read the books at her job and didn’t listen when Hermione tried to explain that the books in that library were mainly academic. Ginny and Harry both extended an invitation to their library at their house, she tried to explain that it was a very different feeling to hold a book and know that it belongs to you. Ron offered to take her a few times after they had split but she could tell he was awkward and it was hard to flirt with the shopkeep when your ex-wife was standing five feet away.

They all truly tried their best with her and she was grateful, often times she felt as though she was wrapped in bubble wrap. Too terrified to let anything happen because then something might, well, happen. This Journey to the book store would be an adventure that she would make it back from. The store came in to view and she excitedly ducked in while the bell jingled on the door. It was a tight fit with three rows of book shelves in the middle and one on each wall. The store was long but still rather small. The cashier sat at the register and gave a half-assed greeting to her as she walked in. The first place Hermione always went to was the classics section. Their was something special to her about a book that millions or billions of people have read before. Something that stood the test of time. She was letting her finger glide over the spines as she looked when she spotted Wuthering Heights. She picked it up and read the blurb on the back. She searched her mind to try to see if she could place it.

Not only did she love being a part of something with strangers, she also thought that they might be the key to bringing back some of her memories. She assumed that at some point in her academic career she had read them, and if she could reread they might jog some of her other memories. So far it had been futile if she was truly honest, she hoped her theory she told Ginny about was true and that someday soon she would be returned to her old self. She knew she was smart, she still was. When she would take tests at University it was natural to her, her textbooks were like nursery school books to her. Fictional stories and ones of her own life even were like calculus to others. She knows she was an avid reader in school but, besides remembering the plot halfway through the novel no memories of her personal life ever came to fruition. She still tried and silently she hoped that this book might be the one that would do it.

“‘Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same’” Hermione turned quickly to the left where a man was standing. He was rather tall compared to her and had sharp features that reminded her of the models that Pansy would sometimes bring around. He had such striking features like pale blonde hair and piercing grey eyes that seemed to be studying her intently. He contiuned to study her while she searched for something to say. She settled for something simple.

“Sorry?” He reached and tapped the book she was holding in her hands.

“The book, it’s a quote.” He said it matter of factly, like it was obvious that’s why this stranger had approached and spoken to her.

“Oh, I haven’t read it yet.” She offered lamely and setting it down where she had found it. He nodded and started to look at the other books on the shelf.

“What have you read?” He asked. She searched his eyes to see why this tall and handsome stranger had started a conversation with her. Was this a prank? Did he know Pansy and she had sent him her way? Instead all she found was genuine curiosity.

“Umm, I quite like this one.” I say pointing to a copy of the Bell Jar. “It’s a bit rambly at parts but, I think over all it’s a good story.” Truthfully the book had cracked Hermione open when she read it. She recalled resonating with a Esther and how it felt to go mad in a world full of sane people. If she was being extra honest she would say it had helped through her divorce immensely. He grabbed the book off the shelf and examined for a moment before he tucked it underneath his arm.

“Any other recommendations?” He asked staring at her intently. Was this flirting? Had she mentioned how handsome he was? And fit? She shook her head no.

“Let’s see if you like that one first. Before I recommend something else.” His eyebrow lifts and his gaze felt heavy on her. He’s studying her even closer if that was even possible.

“So you’d like to meet again?” His tone is not condescending but still arrogant. He reminded her of someone that she couldn't place yet.

“Maybe, I-” My phone rings in my back pocket. I pull it out to see Pansy’s number. “I’m sorry, I am meeting friends at the pub later, they sort of mother hen me.” He nodded and gestured that it was okay for me to leave. He finally removed his gaze from me and turned his attention to the book shelf in front of him. The book I recommended still tucked neatly under his arm. She shook her head and hurried out the front of the store. To find Ginny and Pansy waiting for her.

“Am I late?” Hermione asked checking the time.

“No the store was closed for renovations” Ginny said kicking a rock into the street.

“We decided to meet you here because, we know the florist is down this way.” Pansy said.

“Florist?” Hermione questioned following behind the two as the walked down the sidewalk. Pansy nodded.

“Need new arrangements for the living room I am finishing this week.” Pansy was an interior designer and a damn good one at that. She had a keen eye for how to make a room look like it was straight out of a magazine. It was her who worked with Harry to design her and Ron’s house. The only thing that really made it feel like it was Ron’s house was the chess table off the side of the living room. It jutted out from the wall and Hermione had caught her hip on it several times, especially on her bad days. She knew the rest of the day would turn to Pansy running errands but she went along for the ride. While of course wondering when she would see the handsome stranger again.

Hermione was right to assume that it would turn to errand running but, it had at least been entertaining. Pansy acquired her arrangements with little fanfare, the tasks of ordering supplies for her dinner tomorrow was a little more arduous. The deli clerk didn’t understand the difference between finely sliced and thinly sliced, which to be fair neither did Hermione. The teenage boy was utterly disinterested in her educating him as well. When all was said and done they got to the pub early to grab their favorite corner table. Ginny grabbed extra chairs and it made it click what Hermione was forgetting.

People from school would be joining them. People Hermione didn’t remember. The usual crowd was normally her, Ron, Harry, Ginny, and Pansy. Blaise, Padma, and Percy were frequent as well. Hermione tried not to look like gears were turning as Pansy sat in the chair next to her. Graciously Pansy was too focused on her BlackBerry to notice Hermione fidgeting. Ron and Percy’s arrival also provided a very good distraction.

There was always a moment when she Ron that she wondered why they just couldn’t work out. He was handsome and brilliant in his own right. He had loved her through the worst part of her life and was so respectful it killed her. He understood why she wanted a divorce, he understood needing not to see him and when she was ready he understood her desire to be friends again. He had moved into a flat with his brother without so much as a squabble. His reaction hurt more because if he could just have been more irate or argumentative it would have been justification for her leaving. Him being shitty would absolve her of this guilt she carried. Instead he was a good sport and even encouraged to pursue dating again. He certainly was and soon before she was ready he would bring a new girl into their group and Hermione would feel more alone than she ever felt.

If she had to point to a specific reason that they didn’t work it would be that he was so agreeable. Not in a way that brought comfort but, in a way that brought stagnation. She felt as though she was running in place with him. Of course, nearly a year divorced and what did she have to show for it besides the same job that she had always had. Ron had already been promoted once since the split and she had heard Harry talking about his next one.

Percy was just as formidable as Ron if not more swotty than him. He was older than most of her friends by a few years but, still blended nicely with everyone. Where has Ron face was just beginning to lose his boyish charm, Percy was born looking stern and serious. They each greeted her with a kiss on the cheek and moved to sit on the other side of Pansy.

“Never thought the Weasley boys would be early to something.” Pansy remarked poking Ron in the ribs.

“Ow! Parkinson gives us some credit please.” Ron rubs at the spot where he jabbed her while Percy leaned his head forward to get around him to add.

“Besides it’s a special night, Nott and Malfoy are finally back in town.” The relief Hermione felt finally recalling what was so special about tonight. She was searching for the right names for them and could only come up with Tim and Drake and that didn’t feel right. Problems like these were not foreign to her, there were several people she had ‘met’ over the years that knew her when she was at school. She would Granger while she was walking around and get braced to see their disappointment when they realized she didn’t know them. The reactions varied in their severity but, always had some sad spark to them. Some people had to be reintroduced several times before they stuck, like Blaise. Blaise was Pansy’s friend who patiently waited three months for her to remember him.

Ginny came back inside with Padma and Blaise trailing behind her. “Found these two hanging around outside.”

“We were going to wait on Theo but, I guess Potter is bringing him with Draco.” That was their names Theo Nott and Draco Malfoy. The more she thought about it the more she felt as though she should remember something. Ginny nodded her head and sat with one chair in between her and Hermione. A spot for Harry no doubt, his work schedule had been extra rigorous lately and due to it’s nature meant he could share little with any of us. He would just let us all know that we were safe. He was on a special task force that he only spoke with Ginny about in hushed voices.

“They got held up at the office they will be here shortly.” Padma sat directly in front of me with Blaise in front of where Harry would sit.

“That project again?” Blaise asked. Ginny nodded again.

“I guess Malfoy and Theo are being added on to it as well. They are both acting as consultants.” She said eyeing her glass of water.

“Must be getting worse if they are calling them in.” Padma says. “Ron, you’re on it too?”

“Yeah, it’s being manageable still Malfoy and Nott are more precautions than anything. We don’t want it to get much worse than this.” At times like this Hermione felt like a child. Like her friends had grown up and were having their adult conversations while Hermione sipped her rum and coke. She felt like there was some inside joke she would never know with her friends.

“Aww, you saved us seats.” Harry was who she saw first but it wasn’t him who had said it. He was shorter than Harry by a few inches but had tousled brown hair just like him. He had also had green eyes that reminded Hermione of the way the grass in her front yard looked. He looked boyish the way Ron had always looked but their seemed to be an edge to him. Pansy jumped out to wrap him into a hug while- shit. The stranger from the book store walked in behind him. That’s why he looked familiar, she had gone to school with him. He smiled first towards the room and then spotting Hermione he smiled the slightest bit wilder. He held her gaze with devilish intent.

“Apologies for the late arrival.” Theo? Said parting from Pansy to meet Blaise with an embrace. “Potter got stuck in a conversation that he was too polite to end.” Harry sat down in between Ginny and Hermione. He gave a kiss on the cheek to the former and a side hug to the latter.

“Nott had to fix his hair too, lest we forget.” Theo took the seat at the end with Percy and Ron. Malfoy took the seat across from Pansy and nodded to Hermione.

“Is it a crime to look good for my friends?” Harry rolled his eyes.

When in a big group like this Hermione always managed to slip through the cracks. When she was still with Ron it was easier to get lost in conversation with him, but, since the split he tries his best to speak to her without monopolizing her. All for the best anyway because what she really even say about her day? She read a book? She helped someone else find a book to read? She couldn't partake in reminiscing either. She didn’t even remember the name of the school they had all attended. They stopped reminding her and she gave up on asking. While they shared stories about what they have done since they last saw each other she could only offer the fact that Crooks now knew how to play dead.

Theo waved at her from his end of the table and she gave a meek one back. Malfoy had been sat listening intently to all the conversation surrounding him, he then politely excused himself to put in a drink order. When he had left she took the opportunity to lean in to Pansy ear and ask some questions.

“School?" Pansy took a second to process and confirmed what Hermione had suspected. “How well do I know them?” Pansy placed the glass down that she had been holding.

“Theo? I am not entirely sure to be honest. He was a bit of an arse, still is. He might have annoyed you.” Hermione nodded.

“Malfoy?” Pansy thought for a moment before answering.

“I think he was the only one that ever came close to you in academics. You guys butted heads a few times. They were both at your wedding, I’m surprised you don’t remember them from that day.” She pushed down that day before continuing.

“Busy day” She offered with a shrug that Pansy returned. The way Pansy spoke about him made it seem like he was no more than acquaintance. Maybe that was the case. It didn’t really explain why when he came back with drinks, he handed Hermione’s rum and coke to her with an orange slice and a cherry the way she liked it.