Work Text:
It’s hard for Kyungmin to hide all the love he feels in his heart, but when he thinks about it, there’s no reason to—especially since his gaze has already given him away a thousand and one times. All those times when he looks at Hanjin and can’t help but keep looking, when a little smile appears on his face and his cheeks turn as pink as a peach.
Maybe the most heartwarming part—the one that calms his heart and makes all his fears disappear —is that moment when Hanjin is just a step away from him, when his nervous gaze meets Kyungmin’s, when their hands reach out to touch each other, when the world is reduced to just the two of them, even as thousands of eyes are on them.
When the words won’t come out of their lips and get stuck in their chests. The unspoken words reflected in their pupils, the longing to get closer until there isn’t a single space between them, the fear of ruining everything—both emotions coexisting and creating a beautiful mess where they’re the protagonists.
Kyungmin thinks of Hanjin, the boy who is his hyung but whom he has taken it upon himself to care for and protect as if it were a matter of life and death, noticing every little detail that goes unnoticed by others but not by him.
He notices all the little things that are part of Hanjin—the things that make him smile—so that Kyungmin can make him happy every day of his life. Sometimes they’re silly jokes that, for some reason, he finds funny. Kyungmin tries to remember the things that make Hanjin sad so he can do everything in his power to avoid making him feel bad, and he also tries to remember the things that seem to comfort him, like warm hugs or simply hanging out with him, letting silence surround them with its tranquility, taking away all the sorrows that weigh on his hyung’s heart, being the shoulder he can lean on when he’s too tired.
Sometimes, when he thinks no one is paying attention, Kyungmin pauses for a moment and takes in Hanjin’s beauty—those eyes that always look at him so gently they make his heart melt; the sparkle in his pupils, which to Kyungmin are brighter than any star; his perfect nose, which looks like a work of art he wants to give a little kiss to; his cheeks that feel so soft when he touches them with his fingertips, wishing he could keep the contact a little longer.
He can’t help but let out a sigh as he tries to hold his breath while losing himself in the immensity of his feelings for Hanjin; a thought dangerously surfaces from the depths of his mind, asking himself, “What would it feel like to kiss him?” Kyungmin wishes he could get an answer; he doesn’t want to keep imagining and dreaming about it.
And, just before taking that final step, he stops, because he doesn’t know if the looks Hanjin gives him mean anything; he doesn’t know if Hanjin wants this too. Is he willing to lose everything just for his own desires?
Just as if it were a dream, as if the heavens had decided to answer his prayers, that’s when his fears finally give way to an overwhelming happiness that feels too big for his chest—because that’s when Hanjin gently and tenderly pulls him close. There is no doubt in Hanjin’s gaze; it’s as if he can read Kyungmin’s mind, trying to dispel all the doubts that had tormented him, breaking down all the barriers that had always held him back, showing Kyungmin that he feels the same way, that he wants this just as much as he does.
The distance between them became nothing, and Kyungmin could feel Hanjin’s warm breath brushing against his skin, letting him know that the decision was his to make. Kyungmin had to take the final step; he had to decide whether he would finally give free rein to all the love and longing in his heart.
Kyungmin’s hands softly caress Hanjin’s cheeks as if trying to cling to this moment, trying to accept that it’s real—that it’s not his imagination or those dreams that kept him awake all night. He tries to show him all his love with gentle caresses, trying to let him know that his feelings are pure; he wants Hanjin to know how precious he is to him. Kyungmin feels Hanjin’s hands clinging to his jacket, an invitation for him to finally take what he had longed for so much.
That first encounter is devastating for Kyungmin’s heart; he feels so many things as Hanjin’s arms wrap around the back of his neck, inviting him closer, showing him just how much he trusts him, and trying to make all of Kyungmin’s insecurities disappear. The touch of their lips is gentle, testing the waters and wanting to taste the moment; warmth floods both their hearts. Everything feels so right, as if they were meant to stay this way, as if all paths led them to this destination.
Because maybe that’s just how it was—the simple thought of living a life where he’d never met Hanjin breaks Kyungmin’s heart. He couldn’t imagine a life without him. He’s grateful that, despite the billions of people in the world and the distance that could have kept them apart and made it impossible for them to be together, he doesn’t have to think about that anymore, because all they had left was this moment—the moment where it’s just the two of them in their little bubble, forgetting the rest of the world. It’s just them and those four walls witnessing their little secret, when it’s just the two of them and that warm connection that exists between them.
It was as if a small flower had bloomed in his chest, filling his whole vision with beautiful colors, painting the gray days in pastel shades, and filling everything with a sweet fragrance that attracted him more and more.
Maybe Hanjin is that little flower that bloomed in Kyungmin’s heart, taking root deep within his heart.
Both stopped for just a second; Kyungmin was the first to open his eyes, but the sight before him made him melt a little more, because there was Hanjin, eyes closed, waiting for more, and, even though the kiss had ended, Kyungmin’s hand still rested on Hanjin’s waist, like an anchor to reality and also trying not to let him go—he didn’t want this moment to end.
When Hanjin opened his eyes, he didn’t pull away from Kyungmin’s embrace; on the contrary, he gave him a small shy smile, as if he couldn’t believe they had finally kissed, that the tension surrounding them had finally been cut like a string, and now all that remained was that sparkle in both their eyes, as if their love had finally been fulfilled, as if that little piece of the puzzle had finally fallen into place.
“Kyungmin-ah.” It is Hanjin who breaks the silence, but his voice trembles with the intensity of his emotions.
“I really like you, hyung. You have no idea how long I’ve waited to tell you this.” Kyungmin’s voice trembles; it feels so strange to finally let those words spill out of his chest, but there’s no reason to keep hiding them anymore. Hanjin deserves to know just how much he’s loved.
This time it’s Hanjin who moves in first, kissing Kyungmin more slowly, trying to save this moment in his heart just like a polaroid he could keep in his pocket. The awkwardness is still there, but maybe that was proof of how real their feelings were—afraid of ruining it but hoping to get better and better.
Hanjin wouldn’t mind if Kyungmin kissed him over and over again, just to make sure Kyungmin didn’t want to leave, so that they both would know how to find their way back.
Kyungmin’s fingers tangled in Hanjin’s soft hair, as if trying to convey the intensity of his feelings, the need to have him close, so close that they became one.
(.✦ ݁˖)
Kyungmin hugs Hanjin around the waist as he snuggles up against his shoulder; everything feels so warm and cozy that it isn’t too hard for him to fall asleep, letting himself be enveloped by the peace of mind that comes from knowing his hyung loved and cared for him in this way.
Hanjin simply lets himself be pampered, losing himself in the peacefulness of the moment, where all he can hear are their synchronized breaths and heartbeats, where a small beam of light filters through the curtains, allowing him to gaze at Kyungmin’s face. The serenity reflected in his expression, as if he were entrusting his whole self to Hanjin, and, if he were honest, Hanjin would also like to be able to take care of Kyungmin, not only because he is the hyung and it should be his responsibility, but because it comes from his heart, because he wants to see this side of Kyungmin more often—a side where he doesn’t have to pretend to be someone else, a side where responsibilities fade away and he simply lets himself be exactly as he truly is. Because yes, Kyungmin could be very strong and hardworking if he set his mind to it, but Hanjin would like him to be able to set those pressures aside from time to time and simply live a peaceful life, one where he could scream and cry if he wanted to.
That’s why Hanjin wants to be the one to cherish his dreams and hold him close when he wakes up in the morning; that’s why now, when Kyungmin murmurs softly in his sleep and clings to him even tighter, that’s when Hanjin responds to his confession.
“I like you so much too, Kyungmin-ah, you have no idea.”
He didn’t know if Kyungmin could hear him, but that was fine. He would remind him the next morning, and the morning after that, and on all those mornings when he could be by his side, on all those afternoons when it was just the two of them walking down the street and watching the sunset—he would remind him on all those nights when the burden was too heavy and Kyungmin couldn’t sleep.
Because that was enough to have the world he’d always dreamed of; as long as Kyungmin loved him in the same way, all of Hanjin’s dreams would come true.