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I don’t mind the sun sometimes, the images it shows.
Truly, Basch didn’t mind company, though he much preferred the company of his sister, Lilli, over anyone else. Especially over the company of a certain Austrian. Basch could barely even stand thinking of his stupid face. Roderich seemed to have basically forgotten – or chose to ignore the friendship the two had once shared; the care they had once shown towards each other. Their falling out wasn’t even a large argument, or even something that would give Basch a right hold a grudge towards the Austrian. Hell, it may as well have been his fault that they grew apart.
Basch hadn’t talked to Roderich since they were teenagers, as of now, they were both in their mid-twenties. Well, he’d talked to him, but they haven’t had a proper conversation. Basch had no idea why he still thought of Roderich, it had been far too long to continue reminiscing of old times, yet he couldn’t help himself.
Occasionally he’d see the Austrian out and about, as much as he loathed the man, and as much as he hated to admit it, there was something he could not deny… Roderich was the most beautiful person he had ever seen. More beautiful than most of the women that the Swiss man had met. Though he would never say that out loud- He physically could not bring himself to say that to anyone. Not even his little sister, even though she probably wouldn’t even think to tell on him. He simply could not imagine how… how disgusted Roderich would be, how much he would hate him for that. How much any other person he’d known would hate him for even thinking like that. And he couldn’t lie; he hated himself for it.
Even if Basch had the courage to admit to Roderich that he found him attractive – if they were still talking, that is – he couldn’t imagine how that would go. Basch knew he was far too unappealing for Roderich.
He really didn’t mind company, he wishes he could be within the company of Roderich again, even if only for a short while.
I can taste you on my lips, and smell you in my clothes
Roderich could remember basically everything about his much-to-prematurely-ending friendship, but his last encounter with Basch had really left him rather upset. Perhaps Basch didn’t realise how rude he was to Roderich, or maybe he had really just hated him. But that did quite the opposite of explaining why Basch had always been right by Roderich’s side nearly every day, or why he took care of Roderich when he was injured or upset. Then why did he leave him? Roderich never really wanted to grow apart from Basch. He knew he didn’t have many friends in high school, due to being somewhat antisocial. Roderich could almost vividly remember their last conversation. He’d had something he had wanted to tell him, but Basch had said he was in a rush and needed to pick up his little sister from her school.
Roderich had never got to tell Basch… he probably never would get to tell him. Not if Basch kept ignoring him whenever he saw him. Roderich knew Basch’s schedule, it’d basically stayed the same since they were teens. Wake up, drop Lilli off at school, go to work, pick Lilli up from school, go home. He also knew Basch’s workplace, though that wasn’t on purpose, it just so happens that his office isn’t that far from Roderich’s own. In fact, they were practically next door to one another.
Although the pair weren’t exactly a pair anymore, Roderich often thought of times when they were, as he would often consider the possibilities for their future if he had swallowed his pride, and simply admitted the truth to Basch. But that was much too difficult, especially for teenage Roderich.
He enjoyed seeing the Swiss man on his way to work, it somehow comforted him knowing that he was still the boy he used to know, yet it saddened him, knowing that their separation had not affected Basch. Not that he didn’t enjoy his current lifestyle, but he missed the way Basch used to look at him, the care hidden behind his cold face… God, Roderich missed him. Everything about him. He had loved every single thing about Basch, and maybe he still did.
He could remember it all, and he missed all of it.
Cinnamon and sugary and softly spoken lies.
“Oh, big Bruder, when will you talk to Mr. Roderich again?” Lilli asked, Basch seemed to tense up at that question, but quickly shook it off.
“Lilli, you don’t have to refer to him like that, and why must you bring him up so suddenly?” Basch looked away from her, clearly somewhat bothered by the question.
“My apologies Bruder, I was just wondering…you used to talk about him plenty when you were younger, then you st-” Lilli was suddenly cut off by her brother.
“Ah… I… th-that’s not important Lilli… not anymore. You know it’s been years since I last talked to him, we simply aren’t…close anymore… n-not like we used to be anyways...” Basch glanced between Lilli and the laundry he was folding. “He’s not important.”
“Oh… okay…”
“Roderich!!” An annoying voice grated in the brunet’s ear. Causing him to turn his head, finding his cousin standing almost right next to him.
“Mein Gott Gilbert, quiet down, would you?” Roderich groaned, rubbing his temples.
“Yeah, yeah, whatever!!” Gilbert rolled his eyes at his Austrian relative “How come you never talk to the AWESOME me about your friends???” Roderich glared at him, “I tell you about mine all the time!! Ohhh…is it because you don’t have any-”
“Shut up Gilbert.” Roderich sighed. “I don’t have to tell you anything.”
“Oh, but Roderich!! What happened to that guy from ages ago? …ah, what’s his name… uh…” Gilbert paused, seeming to actually think for a moment “Basch was it?? Oh, WHATEVER. His name doesn’t matter. The Swiss guy.”
“Oh. Him. I don’t know.” Roderich looked away, sparing a glance at his piano. “How did you even get in? I never gave you a key.”
“THAT DOESN’T MATTER.” Gilbert basically shouted. “That’s off topic. What happened with you and the Swiss guy?” Gilbert got progressively closer to Roderich, much too close for comfort. “I know you’re lying. You are a horrible liar.”
Roderich kept his gaze away from his white-haired cousin. “It’s nothing important, Gilbert.” Roderich said. “It was long ago.” He seemed to be trying to play it off, but the pink starting to dust his cheeks gave him away.
Gilbert obviously had his doubts; he didn’t want to push the man to talk when he obviously did not want to. “Eh, okay. Whatever you say, Roderich.”
You never know just how you look through other people's eyes.
Basch could feel someone walking up behind him, close behind him. Basch looked back at the culprit, only to be met with an extremely familiar face. It was Roderich. Basch froze at the sight of Austrian, turning to face the path in front of him. He decided to continue walking, maybe Roderich wouldn’t recognize him. Even if he did, why would he want to talk to Basch anyways?
Roderich had not been paying attention on the walk back to his car, but he could feel someone’s eyes on him. He looked up, met with the back of a blond man. He recognised that haircut. Basch had had the same haircut since they were children, Roderich was never able to tell if his hair just grew like that, or if he just liked having it cut that way. But, putting that aside, he was right behind Basch. He knew Basch had seen him, should he just go a different way? Or does he just pretend he doesn’t see him there…?? Or-
Basch sighed and stopped walking. Roderich didn’t notice in time and ran into his back, really giving Basch a reason to turn around. “Are you just going to keep following me or what?”
“Ah… I-I’m sorry… I was… I wasn’t following you; my car is parked over here… somewhere.” Roderich stumbled over his words. Basch’s lip seemed to curl a bit before returning to his usual cold expression. He turned around, looking at the slightly taller man standing uncomfortably close behind him.
“Sure.” He said, tilting his head up slightly. Roderich kept his gaze firmly held away from the shorter man. Basch, however, kept his gaze on Roderich, who would glance at Basch then look away again when he realised that Basch was still looking at him. Basch turned his gaze away. “I didn’t expect to see you today.” He mumbled.
Roderich finally let his gaze land on Basch. “Me neither. Look, I… I missed you Basch. I really have.” Basch quickly returned Roderich’s gaze, his eyes slightly widened.
“You… missed me?” Basch exclaimed. “I…” He looked away again “I missed you too Roderich.” It felt odd to hear his name spoken by a voice that hasn’t spoken it in years, a voice he hasn’t heard in years. And it felt odd to speak Basch’s name, after avoiding it for as long as he has.
Then, as if he couldn’t control his own actions, he’d wrapped his arms around the other man, he could feel him tense up. But to Roderich’s complete surprise, he felt Basch’s arms around him, though he had seemed rather hesitant to do so. Roderich took the opportunity, resting his head onto Basch’s shoulder, his face practically buried in the other man’s neck. Basch lifted one of his hands, hesitating for a moment before slowly running his fingers through the Austrian’s soft dark hair. “Ich Liebe dich, Basch.”
“Huh?” Basch looked down at the man in his arms, his eyebrow slightly furrowed, as if unsure that he heard that right. “I love you Basch. I always have, ever since we were kids.” Basch kept his gaze on Roderich. “I love you too Roderich..."