Chapter Text
The ambient noise of the birds chirping in the park added to the calm yet desolate tone within the park, as the final leaves had begun falling off the trees as the fleeting days of Autumn were upon them, and soon the cold and bitter Winter would roll in, and this only worked to remind him of the incoming change, about how he was going to leave Massachusetts and Hometown entirely in January, to go to a distant College located in Bangor, Maine, though he had somehow forgotten the exact name of the college, but he knew it had included the word "Ebott", as he sat on the park bench, leaning down as he waited for her, his Best Friend, and the person he was going to College with.
He had heard the clatter of hooves against the concrete path of the park, he knew the distinct sound they made, and he even had picked up on the minor differences in sound made when she clobbered over different types of material, especially when they used to play hide and seek as children, that skill came in handy, and she always called him a "Dork" and even a "Cheater" for him using this skill he had, as he looked up to where the sounds were coming from, and he had seen her.
Dess had moved down the concrete path, wearing her typical outfit of her red plaid jacket over a tank top and jeans, though she had wore a grey puffer jacket and red scarf over her typical fit, as even her thick crimson fur wasn't enough to keep the bitter cold of the late Massachusetts Autumn, as she noticed Asriel sitting on the bench, as she approached him, her tail wagging as she sat next to him on the bench.
"Hey.", She spoke with her tone alive with subtle excitement and happiness upon seeing him, as he had became almost reclusive after they graduated High School not too long ago and it took alot of convincing him through messaging on the phone to meet up, as Toriel was never quite fond of the rowdy doe's antics when she was at the Dreemurr Residence, and what she had pulled last Christmas had placed quite alot of bad blood between her and Asriel's mom, though she couldn't be assed to repair that relationship so she could "break into" his home and have sleepovers with him, and what did it matter anyways?, we're leaving this Angel-forsaken town in only about a month's time, she thought.
He looked up at Dess, seeing the warm expression on her face what had spread like a virus, because seeing her happy had always made him happy, and perhaps these were indications of something deeper, but everytime his mind tried to even DARE suggest such a insane notion, he would instantly shut it down, and change the subject within his mind, and this was one of those moments, as she noticed the sudden shift of expression in his face, before she spoke, "Hey Azzy, ...you doing alright..?"
Snapped out of his thoughts, he looked up at the rowdy doe and gave her a warm smile, before he spoke with a slightly apathetic yet positive tone, "No, i'm doing good Dess, it's just Kris has been a handful especially with all this stuff about Ebott College-."
She had interjected Asriel's sentence as he was midway through speaking it, both to playfully tease him and to also correct him about the actual name of the College the rowdy doe and crying boy were actually going to, "Dork, it's called the Ebott Hoffmann College, you wanted to go there because it catered to the nerdy stuff you do, but..."
Her tone had shifted as her previously warm expression had shifted to a frown, as she had recounted the Arguement she had with Carol about the College, about how she was only wanting to go there because Azzy was going there, and she knew that Carol wouldn't stand for her not going into any sort of further education post High School, though she also wanted to go to that College because it was far, far away from Hometown, far away from Massachusetts, and far away from her wicked mother, and she only had to put up with her bullshit for a couple days per month, and that had greatly excited the rowdy doe.
Unlike Dess, he didn't feel as eager to leave Hometown and Massachusetts, as he was scared of how alien Maine could be, even if it was apart of New England, the people, the climate, everything was different and even with the comforting notion of her being by his side to brave this new endeavour with him, so he didn't have to face it alone, he had also felt sympathy towards Kris, who had still been angry at them for wanting to leave Hometown, even if he figured they would have Noelle and their friends at High School to keep them company while he and Dess had been at the College, and of course he'd try to make time to visit them every month.
He didn't even truly know if he was going there for himself, that he wanted to further develop the skills he had discovered in High School, because he had likened himself to be both a poet and a writer, and he wanted to create many great and wonderful things, bring people to tears of sadness with the tragedies he intended to write, and to bring people to tears of laughter with the comedies he had intended to write, but even now he didn't know if he was doing this because he wanted to better himself, but rather so that he wouldn't let down Toriel, and that he would never stop being a Rolemodel towards Kris, even when they eventually became an adult, very likely in a relationship with Noelle because he and Dess clearly saw the chemistry between the two, even if that was delightfully ironic considering the already extant chemistry what had existed between the golden boy and the dirty girl.
The two had sat on the bench yet had remained isolated, stuck thinking about the many elements and factors of their intertwined life, and about the fear yet silent hope and excitement they had felt for the future, as if they were on a beach, and the tide had pulled back, and they had seen the rapidly approaching tsunami of change, atleast that's what Dess likened it to, as she looked to him, seeing all the subtle changes in his expression as he had lost himself into a daydream, as she in her hubris thought she could read him like an open book, that in all 19 years of their life, she understood him more than Toriel, maybe even more than he himself understood.
She had feelings for him and that she lusted to be more than just best friends, she knew that much. but she repressed them because she feared that he wasn't like-minded, and considering how Burgerpants and the other people from their friend group had already made their exodus from Hometown to begin their Odyssey to complete their full transition from simple teenagers into proper adults, and she feared that if she had admitted her true feelings for him, that he'd be scared, break away, and she'd lose the last person she had left.
And she feared further mental collapse from that, because she needed to be strong for Elly, especially with Rudy being hospitalized since August, and she needed to deflect Carol's bullshit, but she had gradually become more disillusioned and self-critical of herself, and she feared she'd lose sight of what is important if she continued down this path.
"Dess..?", He had broken out of the daydream he had lulled himself into, and shifted his gaze towards her as she sat beside him, noticing her troubled expression as she had vacantly stared forwards towards the Oak Trees what flanked the concrete path inside of the park, as he expressed more concern for her than anyone in her life during the present, he couldn't imagine how hard it had been presently been for her, and how she had come to grips that she's leaving her little sister alone with their strict mother, and that Rudy, was again hospitalized for over 3 Months by this point.
But he knew she was strong, hell, she was the strongest person he had ever met and she had helped him find the light in some of the darkest and worst parts of his life, soon after the violent divorce between Asgore and Toriel had ended, and he was left lost and without purpose and he feared that the Facade he tried to put up during this times.
To be the strong and smart golden Rolemodel for Kris, would erode until they saw how truly depressed and scared he was, but Dess, she was there for him, she listened to him, told him that it was alright to be scared, and that Kris deserves to know that everything isn't alright, that he doesn't need to be some unshakable and infallible person.
And he did, he sat them down one day, gently explained how he didn't know what the future had in store for them, that he was scared of it just as much as they had been, and that it was alright to be scared about what came next, but to not blame themself for what had happened between Asgore and Toriel, and that they still loved him and them as much as they did before the divorce.
And he couldnt've done it if Dess had've never talked him out of keeping the Facade alive, that he had to never show weakness infront of Kris.
"Yeah, what's up Azzy..?", She looked towards Asriel as she scooched closer to him on the park bench, in all reality she had wanted to be closer to him, and hoped that he'd settle for the excuse that the cold made her want to move slightly closer to him, as she had to deny what her heart and SOUL had truly ached for, because if they had their way and had overpowered her logical mind, she'd be currently caressing his stupidly fluffy neck, telling him that she loves him so much, and she always has, but she couldn't, atleast not now.
He had rose his eyebrow as he watched her become visibly flustered as she had reverted into thinking about him, and he had noted that in their most recent interactions over the past few Weeks that she had been becoming flustered alot around him, does that mean?, does it-, no, it doesn't, it couldn't mean that those feelings he felt on those cold Thursday nights, where he lusted to embrace her in his bed, do hold her as she silently slept, and he his silent sentinel warding off any bad dreams what dare crept into her delicate slumber, because she couldnt've shared those, feelings, because it was simply, improbable.
The pair had engaged into a silent war between their heart and SOULs, and on the opposing side was their cold and logical, perhaps even cruel minds what had stopped them from making stupid mistakes in the past, and this park bench on a Friday afternoon may be the final battlefield of this final war, where it would be decided if what their hearts ached for, the touch they lusted for, would triumph over their minds, and the logical choice to stay quiet, and let their feelings fade away in time.
She had only blushed more, and became more flustered as she looked away from the crying boy, trying to calm her nerves and change the subject within her mind, away from the love she felt, how about the subjects at the College?, she hadn't even decided if she was actually going to try and make a genuine effort in her education there, or if she was purely there for Azzy's sake, so that wasn't an interloper in a state so far away from Massachusetts, and she couldn't remain here in Hometown alone, not without him...though it's unlikely that Carol would let her stay at the Holiday Manor.
He had also looked away from her, as he gradually became more flustered as the thoughts he had tried to purge earlier had merely came back far stronger, as he begun to scratch the fur on the back of his hand, nervously drying to distract himself so that he didn't have to think about it, but he and later Dess had both came to the same realization as to why they were out here, sitting on this park bench and they weren't even really speaking because they were that caught up in their heads.
The reason was clear, they were trying to break the tension, that awful intimate tension what had been hanging over their lives since about late October, after what happened at the Halloween Party at the Holiday Manor, when they had went into the Bathroom to clean up, and...he remembered what happened, even if he had tried to keep it out of his mind for the longest possible time, because they had nearly kissed.
She had decided in that moment that perhaps it was worth listening to her aching heart, and how much it had longed and lusted for the crying boy, and if it was going to end in misery, so be it, because she's already in an awful spot in life during the present, and she has nothing left to lose, and so, she began to speak.
"A-Azzy, i...and i think you know why w-we're out here, it isn't that we just a-agreed to come out here in the freezing cold Afternoon to sit here and look at snow-covered d-dead Oak Trees, a-and...", She had moved close enough so that her thigh had touched his, as he continued to look away from here as his face so that she couldn't see him all red and flustered, though she couldn't really say anything about that considering that she was also extremely flustered.
"....P-Please, because...we can't...pretend anymore, like these f-feelings, were never there...l-like we were always supposed to be just, Azzy and Dess....the Hometown terror duo...y-y'know.", She tried not to stutter, but she had practically forced herself to speak every word, because her logical mind was in a panic, that it had truly made a terrible mistake by letting the heart take over their senses, and now, he was gonna tell her he didn't feel the same, he couldn't feel the same, why wouldn't he?, why would he be into a girl like me?, he's not even into does.
He couldn't just ignore her, she voiced what was on their mind, she had escalated the war to it's final, closing crescendo, and what words he decided to speak next, would determine it's end, and how the aftermath would play out for Years, no Decades to come after this fateful Afternoon.
"W-Well....i-i um.", He tugged at the collar of his sweater, though he had wore his black hoodie jacket and a scarf over that, akin to the outer layers Dess had been wearing, as he continued to speak, stuttering even more than the rowdy doe was, "I-I don't think..b-being best friends, i-is gonna cut it anymore..."
Her expression lighted up, did he really feel the same as her?, were those wet dreams she had during those cold nights, really not the restless dreams of a tragic doe lusting for a future what'll never be?, perhaps, perhaps there's more to this, perhaps the gambit she performed was just worth it, as she spoke.
"I-I need you...A-Azzy, a-and i think you feel the same.", Her response had elicited a silent nod from the crying boy, as tears welled up in the corner of his eyes, as he had waited so long to hear that from her, and he couldn't help but cry, cry because for once, he was truly happy.
"D-Do...y-you love me..?", Tears welled down from his eyes, staining his white fur, dripping down onto his hoodie jacket and scarf, as he looked at the rowdy doe, and even then he could hardly keep his composure, but didn't care anymore, he didn't care that they were still in a public space, it was just them, and that's all what mattered to him.
"C-Course i-i love you...d-dork," She too had begun to cry, causing the mascara on her face to mix with her salty tears, pouring down her face and staining her fur with unsightly an unsightly black trail what had lead down her cheeks, but she didn't care like Asriel did too, as she extended out her hands and had wrapped them around her goat's back, pulling him forwards into an embrace.
She met no resistance from him, as he too had wrapped his hands around her, it was just...so nice, to finally stop pretending like they're not more than just best friends, because they were lovers, they always were, but for most of it they had been in utter denial of the feelings they had shared for eachother.
They had sat there, suspended in their embrace, feeling the warmth against eachother's bodies helped soothed their minds, but for Dess, this wasn't enough, as after all, she wanted more from this, and she had thought that the golden boy she was embracing, would be keen to agree, as she withdrew her head away from resting it against his neck fur and scarf, looking at him, though she had stopped crying, the trails of the mascara what dripped down with her tears had remained.
"C-Can we...kiss..?", She looked at him as she spoke, and all she could feel for him was the utmost reverance and respect, not only the infinite love she always had for him, and he deserved to feel as good as she made her feel, as she had kept her arms wrapped around him in a tight embrace.
"...Y-Yeah..", He didn't bother responding with some long explanation about how much he loved her, and that he was truly sorry and regretful that he had denied and taken these feelings for granted, for this long, but his thoughts were put on hold as the rowdy doe had lunged forwards, pressing her lips against his as she closed her eyes, he was taken aback, but he had quickly leaned into the kiss, as he let out a quiet and small moan as he moved his hands up to wrap around her upper torso.
Time began to slow, as all that mattered in the fleeting present is that they were together now, but even as they held eachother, it wasn't enough, as he looked at her, pulling away from the kiss as he had again, moved up his hands to her shoulders as he spoke, deciding to flirt to try and tease her, he always wanted to do that, no matter how corny it is.
"Hey, ever thought about the fact we're not gonna need two beds in our dorm room now..?~", His expression had shifted as he cringed, he didn't actually expect himself to say something as corny as that, but perhaps it was justifiable considering that they hadn't even been in a relationship for an hour yet.
Her expression shifted as she still held him in her arms, but she was trying all of her hardest not to laugh at pathetic but cute attempt to flirt with her, we're not gonna need 2 beds in our dorm room now?, what type of corny bullshit is that?, i'm sure for all of his intelligence he could've certainly come up with something better, but she couldn't hold in her laughter anymore the longer she had thought about what he said, as she burst out laughing before leaning forwards, burying her head into his neck as she laughed.
His expression shifted into a frown, he didn't expect her to like it, but to laugh at him?, how rude.
"Come on Azzy, for some as much of a dork as you are, i'd expect something alot more better off you~", She had whispered into his ear, trying to tease him and playfully make him angry, a past time she greatly enjoyed partaking in when she was in his company.
He shuddered as he felt her warm breath against his fur, as he leaned his head against hers, he couldn't be bothered to respond to her, all he wanted right now was to feel her crimson fur rub against his, a simple desire, and he wished he could spend all of what little remained of the day out here with her, sharing their warmth so that they wouldn't get cold.
A rather fiendish idea had appeared in the rowdy does truly twisted mind, she wanted to hear him bleat, but she only manged to elicit such noises out of him by either making him angry, or scaring him, but she had another idea, as she moved her hands towards the back of his neck, as she at first begun to tenderly kiss his neck, before out right suckling and kissing his fluff, as she wanted to gauge his reaction, seeing if he'd even let her do this as the embrace they had been in radicalized her to be alot more rash about how she flirted with him.
"Dess...~", He had pathetically called out as he melted in her arms, the feeling was amazing, but she didin't like how she was doing it to him in a public space, but he didn't have the heart to tell her to stop, as he wanted this, but he felt as if it was improper, as he always liked to put on somesort of formality when he was out in a public space, even if it was a rather quiet afternoon and they were the only ones in that area of the park, with the silent leafless Oak Trees being the only witness to the rowdy doe kissing the crying boy.
"Azzy..~", She mocked his tone, continuing her assault on his neck fluff as she moved his scarf out the way, as she had begun to hear more pathetic whimpers from him, and that had only worked to further radicalize and embolden her, as her mouth had moved far more hungrily.
"D-Don't y-you think this is a bit improper..?", He had managed to spill out his words he had been intending to say between waves of pleasure what caused him to let out a mix of more pathetic whimpers and quiet moans, but he didn't want to hurt her feelings, so he had said it in a far more hushed tone than the typical tone he used when speaking.
Oh shit, he isn't into this?, fuck., She had pulled away from his neck as she moved back, with a sudden rouge wave of guilt crashing into her psyche as she looked away from him, and something came onto her mind, a thing she had been trying to avoid thinking about since they had both finally admitted their mutual love for eachother, how the fuck would they tell their parents that they're in love?, as Toriel never really approved of her golden boy hanging out with the rowdy doe, and....she had started to feel like she was...right
She had moved away from him, towards the very end of the bench as she had stuffed her hand into the pockets of her puffer jacket, withdrawing her phone as she turned it on, looking at the display, and noticing she had several missed messages off Carol, and a missed message off Noelle, though she'd respond to them later, as she read the time on the phone's display.
18:12PM
MONDAY, 28TH OF NOVEMBER
"H-Hey Azzy, it's g-getting pretty late and my mom's gonna chew my ass out if i stay out too long, and...i think Toriel would do the same with you, so i-i.", She couldn't finish her sentence as her apprehension had increased tenfold in only a matter of seconds, the more she thought about it, about how obviously Carol and Toriel would disapprove of their relationships, while Asgore and Rudy probably wouldn't give two shits, but she realised that they couldn't sustain this, that even when they were at College, they'd find out.
She didn't know if she wanted to risk it, that Toriel would pressure him into breaking it off, maybe it was worth breaking it off herself, to save Azzy the hurt of doing it, but she knew it'd still hurt him, and break his heart and SOUL into a million pieces but, she was protecting him, this was a mistake, all of it, she should've never agreed to come out here...
Asriel noticed her sudden change in mood, as he had decided to not move towards her, to give her some space, but when she begun to cry, and when she looked at him, her eyes red, the mascara flowing down her face again and further thickening the ugly black trails what rolled down from her eyes to her cheeks, his heart broke, he hated seeing her like this, as he moved forwards and embraced her.
He had pulled down the sleeve of his jacket, extending it towards her cheeks as he had tried to rub the mascara off her crimson fur, obviously dirtying the sleeve of his jacket, but he wanted to clean her off, give her some dignity as they were still in a public space, as he cried and sniffled in his arms, having buried her head into his torso, her tears falling onto his sweater.
Eventually, she looked up at him, tears still rolling down her cheeks though the ugly trails of mascara had been removed by Azzy wiping her tears away with his jacket, before she spoke, her voice quivering and her tone uncertain, "I-I'm s-so...scared, Asriel..."
The tears he had tried to stop from flowing finally burst through his dam, the one who he had put up oncemore, ignoring the advice Dess gave him all that time ago, to pretend that he was again, unshakeable and infallible, as he removed his glasses and had set them onto the bench as he cried, though he wasn't outright sobbing like his sensitive doe was, as he begun to caress the crimson fur on her cheek with his free hand.
"I-I am too, i-i'm so fucking scared....b-because i don't know what it's going to be like, and i'm sick of saying that i do, t-th-that i know what classes i'm going to do there, an-and...i just...", He choked on his words, as the tears, bitter and salty as ever fell more, his eyes red like Dess's from the crying.
"B-But if i-i know one thing, D-Dess, i-it's that we have eachother, a-and we can be s-scared, together, and we need to show K-Kris and Noelle, and eventually our parents that...we love eachother, a-and if they can't accept that, s-so be it.", He had made his peace with this, that he was indeed willing to possibly ruin his relationship with Toriel and Asgore if they couldn't accept that he loved Dess, because he did, and he wouldn't let them, or life, or the future take her away from him.
"I-I.....j-just...want to get outta here, A-Az, i-i'm sick of Hometown, i-i'm sick of being the rowdy girl, i-i just want a new place, to be away from mom, is...th-that so much to ask for..?", She admitted the truth, that she just wanted to get out of here, that unlike Azzy she wanted to leave, ASAP.
"A-And that's okay.....a-and don't let C-Carol tell you that it isn't....a-and you aren't betraying Noelle by...feeling like this, because..."
"I love you, i know that, and the future won't change that, at all.", He had calmed, having found a resolve inside of him, as he had made his peace with the future, and he was no longer scared of something he couldn't control, and he was ready to face it.
She looked up at him, rather than respond she moved forwards as she clasped the fluffy boy's cheeks, pressing their lips together once more, but she had slipped her tongue into the kiss as she pressed him against the bench, because she couldn't give a single fuck if someone had watched them, because she wanted to express how thankful she was that he had him, that life had truly felt worth living today, and she hadn't felt like that for years.
He had gladly accepted her advance, as he wrapped his hands around her neck and slipped his tongue into the kiss, leading to them engaging in a duel as they had explored eachother's mouth, also engaging into swapping spit, as their greatest fears and worries in this present moment had begun to fade, replaced by the purest form of love they had ever felt in their entire love.
They hadn't stopped until their tongue muscles had become physically exhausted, as they both withdrew from the kiss, a trail of saliva from both of their mouths had briefly connected the pair, before it had been severed, and they sat there, looking into eachother's eyes while they had been sweaty, before eventually the time came to make their exodus from the park bench, because it had became nightfall by that point.
She had stood up, wiping the final traces of the mascara what had leaked down her cheeks off, her tail wagging as it did when she had first arrived and saw her golden boy, now her partner as she waited for him to stand up, as he grabbed his backpack from off the ground from where it had been sitting.
He grabbed her hand, tightly clenching it as she looked into his eyes, before she spoke, "Shall we leave, dork..~..?"
"...Yeah..", He responded, as they begun to leave the park bench behind, as their love had been set in stone, and while the fear was still there, they had eachother, and that is what mattered.
But, it's natural to fear the future, and to be strong, is to be scared, because you have the gut to face something you cannot fathom to understand nor control, yet you remain there on the edge of uncertainty, your resolve reaffirmed as you embrace what is coming forwards, for all of it's flaws, we all truly desire for change, and the future always brings that.