Work Text:
Who would've known that it's possible for one to find such strong comfort through a computer screen in a video game? Well, for someone like Ze, it was possible!
He found his own minecraft world a second home. Living with two random people he just met out of nowhere, a entity whos missing a good half of its body and looks like pure abstract art, and a enthusiastic clown who seems to not get a way with words, except for honking her nose as the only way of communication.
Still, he got along with them pretty well, except for the abstract art in question, Regect. God, how annoying he was sometimes, but, Ze couldn't help feel calm in his presence. Yeah, he did have to yell then and there at him sometimes, but lets cast their differences aside, they are quite a sweet pair.
When Ze is in that minecraft world, he feels like he doesn't need to hide how he feels. He's happy, relaxed and laid back, like it's his actual life in there, and not the one he lives.
When Ze is surrounded by the real world, he feels secluded, pressured, he doesn't feel like himself. And next to that, he hid who he truly was when it came to identity. Ze has been transgender ever since he was 16. Now, he's 22, year 2 of Gunsmithing and Firearm Techology College, and not a single person knows he has the body of a woman. Well, he did get top surgery when he turned 18, but was to afraid to even think of getting bottom surgery, he isn't ready to take such a huge step.
He faces both gender and body dysmorphia because of this. Ze really wishes he can just shed himself out of his current body and enter a new one, just like a reptile removing its skin. He looks at himself in sheer disgust and wonders if he will ever manage to be seen as a boy by the world, to not be reffered to as "Zoey", to have to be careful in the boys dressing room, incase someome calls him out. He's sick of it, he's very sick of it.
One unfaithful Thursday, Ze was staying up late in his dorm just to spend time in his minecraft world with Moe and Regect. It was already 2am, energy drinks scattered on his table, and a random project he was working on for class. He was alone, his roommate was at a party, he knew nobody would interrupt him, and that is perfect. He didn't even even trust his roommate in telling him about his secret.
However, Ze was preoccupied with scolding Regect for almost burning the house down to the core with a crappy attempt in making food. Moe just watched it happen, of course she giggled to herself. Lately she has been feeling more confident in letting out a few giggles or laughs around them, it wasn't always that usual honking.
"Oh my fucking GOD."
Ze sharply exclaimed, pinching
the roof of his nose in frustration. Someone remind him why does he still stay in the same house with this idiot.
"Regect I told you to stay AWAY from the oven at all costs! Even MOE doesn't manage to explode her food when she makes it!"
The young man lectured his discombobulated friend.
"I WAS TRYING TO MAKE DINNER HERE, APPRECIATE MY HARD WORK."
Regect really thought that would be a smart excuse for this close call.
"WHAT HARD WORK? ALMOST BLOWING MY KITCHEN UP CLEAN?"
All Ze could do is mentally facepalm himself.
"Well excuse you, at least the food is still saved."
Regect rolled his one singular visible eye at that remark.
"Yeah... on the bright..."
Ze interrupted himself with a yawn.
"Yo Ze, isn't it like... late for you right now? You should head to bed!"
Regect suggested, Moe followed up by honking in approval and nodding.
"I'll be fine... I'm just a little tired from school and stuff guys... I don't feel like sleeping to be hones..."
But just as he said that, his head already slowly began to lean down on the table. Regect and Moe could hear the silence from the computer screen.
"Ze...? Ze!... **ZE!**"
Regect called from the screen in that deep striking tone if his. This was enough to send the exhausted man sitting up straight on his chair.
"Ahh-!! Uh... w-what...??"
Ze felt confused. He usually doesn't fall asleep this easy, and if anything, he rarely gets actually tired like this.
"Okay, fuck, you're right, I need rest, I'll just... go to bed." Ze ran a hand throught his white and crow black hair strands in an attempt to move them away from his eyes. He really screamed the word "tired" right now.
"Bye guys, see you after class like always..." Ze walked away from his chair and took his shirt off ot remove his binder. Finally, his chest seemed to be much more smaller than before. He completely forgot to turn his computer off properly, unaware of the fact Moe and Regect could see him. They weren't watching, though, they didn't even hear or see Ze doing that, they were to busy cleaning up after them and getting ready for sleep.
Even if he would always fight and bicker with Regect, and have a hard time understanding Moe's honking language, Ze still prefers their company very dearly. At this point, he even finds joy in quarreling with Regect, but of course he'd never admit it outloud, let alone to himself.
It's one escape from reality, for sure.
It was currently somewhere around 4am, and Ze still wasn't asleep. His roommate was God knows where right now, and he just stared at the wall, blankly and blatantly. Nothing was on his mind, it was like static.
He picked his phone up and began doomscrolling on social media, but after like 15 minutes, he remembered the project sitting on his table.
"*Maybe I should go and finish that carbine model, man.*"
The college student though to himself. There was nothing to do at this peaceful hour anyways.
Ze rose from his bed and tied his hair into a short, low ponytail, preparing to finish the project. Then, he noticed his computer screen was on. He RAN to close the minecraft world, thank gosh everyone was asleep in it, or maybe...
"You need to start turning that computer off man, you're wasting electricity-"
*It was Regect.*
"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING IN MY ROOM?!"
Ze interrupted, grabbing a nearby gun and pointing it at Regect's head immidately.
"WOAH WOAH CHILL DUDE, ITS ME, REGECT, REMEMBER?"
The entity looked up and down, scanning his friend a bit closer. White shirt which revealed one of his pale shoulders, baggy dark blue pants, but somehow... big thighs, slim waist, feminine facial features...? he noticed something unusual.
"Wait, Ze?"
Regect was in a state of confusion.
"Y-Yes?! what do you want?! And how did you even-"
"I can actually escape throught your computer right now."
Ze's eyes widened in pure surprise. But *how?*
"Staying in it for so long has given me the ability to exit and leave your software system."
Regect explains it so casually as if he didn't break the laws of the universe right now.
"Oh that's... yeah okay that somewhat makes sense...
Ze calmly puts the gun down, a deep sight following.
"Well, what do you want from me now? If you wanna hang out in my room could've atleast announced it properly instead of creeping on me."
Ze questioned, but, Regect's eyes were focused on the binder on the floor. Shit, Ze forgot to put it away.
Bullets of sweat formed on his forehead.
"You... pfft... you have a girl as your roommate?"
Regect teased.
Wait HUH?
Oh goodness, Regect got it totally wrong.
"WAIT WHAT NO- UH- WAIT- I MEAN... I..."
Ze visibly panicked, waving his hands in the air. Regect perked up in curiosity, if he had eyebrows, one would be raised right now.
"Do you have a girl as your roommate or not??"
The entity was visibly puzzled.
"I uh..."
Ze paused, letting out a deep breath. He knew he had to tell him now.
"I... look, I have to tell you something, Regect, something I hid from everyone, even you and Moe."
Ze sat on the bed, fiddling with his fingers as Regect sat by him.
"My roommate is a boy, and that on the floor isn't a bra..."
He began awkwardly.
"It's actually *mine*-"
"Wait so... you wear bras?"
How the hell did he even come up with this? Ze facepalmed.
"JESUS CHRIST OF NAZARETH, WILL YOU LET ME FINISH?"
Ze yelled, gripping onto his nonexistent shoulders.
"OKAY OKAY SORRY, I'M SORRY, THE FUCK DUDE..."
Regect flinched back.
"I DON'T WEAR BRAS, THAT'S A BINDER BECAUSE I'M *TRANSGENDER*-"
Ze froze, before he slapped his own hand over his mouth. Oh crap, he really blurted that out so suddenly.
"Wait WHAT?"
Regect jumped off the bed.
"You... wait... like when you change gender? So you're a girl?"
"Oh my GOD DUDE SAY FUCKING SIKE RIGHT NOW."
Ze buried his face in his hands.
"I USED TO BE A GIRL, NOW IM A BOY, REGECT."
"Ohhhhhhh.... so that explains your feminine face..."
"My... what...? Do I really still look like a girl to you?"
Oh *shit.* Regect's eye widened. Even if Ze tried so hard, it seems like he still doesn't look masculine enough.
"Wait no-! Shit, sorry I- I'm so sorry dude I just-"
Ze felt something heavy in his chest, and suddenly felt something break like fragile glass.
"Ze...?"
But Ze was quiet. He should've known it would end up like this, he was stupid.
"Hey, look at me."
Regect began much softer, but there was still seriousness at the edges.
"Ze.... Ze!"
He exclaimed, but Ze looked away, brining his knees to his face, and starting to sob. Regect internally panicked.
"No matter what I do, I'll never appeal to the society as a *real* man. I keep pretending and acting like I'm fine, but I only run away from my actual self, as if people actually notice who I am. I feel like..."
He stopped to wipe his eyes, followed by a sob.
"I feel like a clown in a costume, Regect, and not even in a Moe type of way where I am happy about it. Just... gosh.... just look at me damn it-"
Regect couldn't take it. He suddenly grabbed Ze and turned him back to him.
"No you LOOK AT ME, ZE. HEY."
The entity sounded geniuene, it came from his heart.
"I'M SO FUCKING SORRY FOR WHAT I JUST SAID TO YOU. I DON'T THINK YOU LOOK LIKE THE GENDER YOURE TRYING TO NOT BE, OKAY? I'M JUST SO CONFUSED WITH THIS NEW PIECE OF INFORMATION."
Regect held him even tighter. Ze was stoned, staring through him like he was a ghost, completely lost. He has never seen Regect this serious.
"You're a BEAUTIFUL MAN, ZE, A FUCKING, GODDAMN, BEAUTIFUL MAN, YOU HEAR ME?"
Ze felt something drop in his stomach, no, not stomach failure, *warmth*. He has never been called this before, a beautiful man.
"Regect..."
Ze mumbled gently, flattered, something in his eyes sparked. Regect was quite pink in the cheeks after calling his friend beautiful like that, but, didn't pay mind to that.
"AND FUCK YOU, ZE. FUCK YOUR STUPID HEAD, LISTEN TO YOUR **HEART.** I DON'T WANT YOU TO GIVE UP TRYING TO FIND YOURSELF. IN MY EYES, YOU'RE A STRONG, KIND *MAN*."
"BUT LOOK AT ME, FAILING MIRACULOUSLY!"
Ze interrupted.
"NO THE HELL YOU'RE NOT!"
"B-BUT I WILL ALWAYS STAY WHAT I-!"
Ze was interrupted again with a sudden press of Regect's lips onto his own.
He completely locked in one place, until, Ze began kissing back, hesitantly, but slowly. Regect wrapped his hands around his body.
"Y-You dare speak so low of yourself but... look at this *beauty* you carry, dude, are you crazy?"
Regect spoke through the kiss. All Ze did was whince from how flustured he was right now.
"Mmmghh.... oh s-stop it... shut your foul mouth... bitch..."
Ze leaned in closer, the kiss growing with even more intense emotion. Regect nibbled on his lower lip playfully.
"If nobody will appreciate you, I will, always, *forever...*"
"Oh my... mmhhmm... g-gosh do you ever... stop talking? You talk even when your mouth is busy...ahh..."
Regect chuckled, grinning to himself victoriously.
Ze was the one to pull away, not even *noticing* Regect had put him on his lap.
Regect panted heavily, gripping onto his chest, then, he stopped upon seeing Ze's eyes literally *glimmering*.
Ze was in such awe that he started giggling from excitement.
"You sure do look like you're seeing stars right now."
Regect teased.
"O-Oh my gosh stop it! This is so homosexual..."
Ze giggled at him, playfully hitting him. That relieved Regect a little.
"I guess we are homosexual now."
The both laughed outloud. Ze pulled him into a tight hug, sobbing into his chest even more, this time, in happiness
"D-Dude, thank you so much... oh my God... thank you..."
Regect patted his back peacefully, proud that he managed to help him.
"And remember, you can tell me or Moe anything, alright? We got your back in this, we support you journey..."
Ze scooted closer, wrapping his arms around Regect's shoulders warmly.
"I will, I will remember, thank you, Regect."