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Isen tapped his pencil against the desk, his mind elsewhere.
Everything was different now and he wasn’t sure what to do. Ever since a little after John went Joker, they had been… “meeting up” in secret. It had been small things at first— stealing kisses, cuddling in Isen’s dorm, but their little deal had quickly escalated to rough make out sessions and such as John wanted more and more from him— not that Isen minded.
Now that John was back from his suspension though, he hadn’t called on him once— Isen would be lying if he said he wasn’t at least a bit disappointed. It wasn’t like he and John were dating or anything, but they were definitely more intimate than friends, and he would appreciate a little communication.
But of course, John was ignoring him, just like he ignored most of his problems. Isen wasn’t really sure he could do much, as he just assumed that John was embarrassed, and his and John’s “relationship” was pretty much just to relieve stress— on his and John’s part.
Isen pursed his lips in thought, his brows furrowing.
He felt a bit used.
He knew deep down that he’d probably he thrown out eventually, but he had hoped that maybe he could enjoy their arrangement a little longer.
His leg bounces in annoyance as he gets increasingly restless.
It was a shame, really. He just just begun to finally feel wanted by someone, and now—
“Isen?”
came a slightly worried voice from behind him, causing him to jump.
His gaze snapped over to the voice, spotting a confused Blyke standing over him—along with the stares of a few other concerned Safe House members.
Isen suddenly realizes his state of being, slowly unfurrowing his brows and quitting his fidgeting as his cheeks go red in embarrassment.
“Uh…” he mumbles, flashing Blyke a lopsided grin. “What’s up?” he asks, feigning nonchalance.
Blyke frowns.
“Dude. What’s up with you?”
“Nothing,” Isen grumbles, looking away. “Just like… Press Team stuff or something…”
Blyke scoffed at Isen’s lame excuse.
“‘Or something’? Yeah, real believable,” he says, grabbing Isen by the bicep and hoisting him up out of his seat.
“You’re coming with me.”
Despite Isen’s protests, Blyke still drags him out of the club room and into a nearby empty classroom.
“You’ve been off since John came back,” Blyke says bluntly.
Crap. Looks like he noticed…
“Tell me what’s wrong or I’m getting Remi and we’re gonna interrogate you together,” Blyke says stubbornly, eliciting an indignant whine from Isen.
“Dude…” Isen complained, turning awawy to leave, “it’s really nothing—“
“Nope,” Blyke cut him off, blocking Isen from exiting the room.
“I know something’s up. …Do you still feel unsafe around John?” he asks, his voice getting slightly gentler nearing the end of his sentence.
Unsafe? Isen felt the opposite of unsafe around John, and that was part of the problem.
Blyke was too perceptive, and too much of a good friend to just let this slide. He’d find out anyway…
Isen bit his lip. He really didn’t want to tell Blyke, though.
Blyke sighed, breaking the silence again. “Do you need me to call Remi instead?” he asks, this now sounding more like a suggestion than a threat.
“No, no… I feel more comfortable talking to you about this…” Isen says.
“So there is something?” Blyke asks, causing Isen to sigh exasperatedly.
“Yes, okay? It isn’t— it’s not like what you think, though,” Isen assures. “It is about John, but it’s not—“ he sighs, fumbling with his words.
Blyke stares patiently at him with an eyebrow raised, waiting for him to continue. Isen bit his lip nervously.
“It… I… I dunno how to start…” Isen stammers, his cheeks reddening in embarrassment again.
Blyke uncrosses his arms, before walking forward and putting a gentle hand on his shoulder.
“I’m worried about you,” he starts, “and I need you to tell me, so we can solve the problem together. You can just blurt it out, dude. Explain later,” Blyke reassures.
Isen’s lip quivers, his whole body feeling hot. All he could focus on was the strong hand on his shoulder. He pouts, looking anywhere but Blyke’s face.
Jeez… why’d he always have to make things so complicated?
“It’s not really something you can just solve…” Isen mumbles, brushing Blyke’s hand off him.
“Go on…” Blyke encourages, giving Isen a bit more personal space.
Isen felt like he could breathe again.
He took a deep breath, steeling himself before finally getting something out:
“John and I… kissed.”
His voice was strained, hands fidgety as he stares at the floor.
He wasn’t entirely sure how to describe his relationship with John, so he supposed this could do for now.
They definitely weren’t dating, and “friends with benefits” didn’t seem quite right either— they weren’t friends, not really.
“What?!” Blyke exclaimed, stepping back.
Welp. Looks like it was over for Isen. He just wished he had kissed his pens goodbye first before his demise…
“This is why I didn’t wanna tell you. I knew you’d freak out,” Isen mumbles, turning his head away as his heats heat up even more.
“I—I didn’t know you were gay,” Blyke breathes out.
Isen looks back up at him, mouth agape.
“That’s what you got from this??” Isen asks in disbelief. Blyke shakes his head.
“Sorry— not important— hm… ah… Wow, uh…” Blyke stammers, hoping to find the right words.
Isen frowned. He really didn’t think that what he said warranted this strong of a reaction.
“I mean— like, when was this? Are you okay? Was it…” Blyke paused for a second, frowning. “…Did you… not want it? Is that why you’re so upset?”
Isen jumped, not expecting that kind of question. He could see Blyke getting angrier as he spoke.
“What? No, dude— no. John wouldn’t do that,” Isen corrected swiftly. Blyke’s brows unfurrowed.
“Okay. Then what’s wrong? And you still didn’t answer all my questions…” Blyke asks.
Isen sighs. He supposes he should just tell him the full story, or else the line of questioning would be never ending.
“Ugh… I mean… okay. It was… more than once, actually,” Isen starts. Blyke’s eyes widen, causing Isen to look away. “It started like a few months ago… He and I would meet up and like… make out… we weren’t dating or anything, though. It wasn’t ever that serious, I’ve just been upset because he’s been ignoring me ever since he got back,” Isen explains, opting to keep it brief.
When Isen’s gaze meets Blyke’s again, he notices the strong blush on his face.
“So…” Blyke murmurs, “you guys were like… fuck-buddies…? I’m having trouble believing that making out is all you guys were doing…” Blyke asks quickly, his brows furrowing as he frowns. He seems rather tense.
“Dude! No!” Isen gasps, incredibly flustered. “I assure you, it was just making out. We didn’t go any— we didn’t go that far,” Isen stammers, shocked.
Blyke notices his slip up.
“Where you about to say you didn’t go any further? Then stopped yourself? Just how far did you—“
“Honestly, it’s not any of your business!” Isen raises his voice, startling Blyke.
“Right, sorry,” Blyke mumbles, looking away.
Isen really wasn’t sure why Blyke was so worked up over this. He expected the other to be shocked, and maybe a bit angry that he was being so friendly with John in secret, sure, but… this? This was a bit strange.
Blyke coughs to break the awkward silence.
“Uhm. Yeah. That’s pretty shitty of him… to ignore you like that, I mean,” Blyke blurts out awkwardly, trying to regain composure.
Okay. Isen supposes that it’s probably for the best that he changed the subject.
“Uhm, yeah,” Isen parrots, sighing as his muscles begin to relax. “I’m not really sure how to broach the subject to him,” Isen grumbles.
“Do you like him? Like… really like him?” Blyke asks.
Isen furrows his brows at the question, though supposing it wouldn’t hurt to answer.
“Dunno. I guess I like him physically, but I’m not sure it’s romantic. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t miss him, though.”
Blyke pursed his lips at this.
“Okay,” he says.
“That’s it.” Isen looks down at Blyke expectantly. “Can I go now?”
Blyke pouts, not moving.
“You miss it?” he asks, his voice quieter.
Isen pauses to think, unsure of what Blyke is getting at. Isen can’t help but feel a bit uneasy.
“I guess so,” he responds, staring down at Blyke and trying to read him.
“Why?” Isen adds.
“I could… uhm…” Blyke murmurs, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. “…I could… help you with that, if you want,” he finishes, avoiding Isen’s gaze.
What.
Isen… did not expect that. Is that why Blyke was acting so weird? Because he was… jealous of John?
Looks like his life just got a lot more complicated.
“Uhm. Dude. What the hell?” Isen breathed out, unsure of what to say.
“Just if you want to! I just… I don’t know… if you only miss the physical aspect, then… Maybe…” Blyke defends himself, before his voice trails off. “Maybe I could fill that need for you,” Blyke suggests, his voice soft and resolute.
Isen’s heart thumped hard in his chest. He really was not expecting this today. Although… he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t at least a little intrigued by the offer.
Blyke was attractive, and like any attractive guy, Isen had fantasized about him once or twice.
Of course, this would probably complicate things and create some unwanted tension… and Isen still had unresolved things with John, but…
Isen was greedy more than anything, and right now… Now that Blyke was practically offering himself up… Isen wanted him.
“Okay,” was all Isen could muster.
He felt like this one word just changed everything between them.