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Sidney was beginning to think the yellow jerseys were a bad idea.
Not only because they were kind of ugly, if he was being honest only with himself, but because it was kind of distracting him from warming up.
He would want to blame it on that and not the fact Nikita was at warmups.
Abstractly he wanted to chide Nikita from being there, solely for his own admitted superstition that G wouldn't score if he came.
Concretely, his heart ached every time he looked at Nikita, especially as he grew. In the beginning he could barely look at Nikita, too many mixed emotions, but the pain had faded. Now it was roaring back to life as Nikita was slowly shedding the parts that made him resemble Anna, slowly growing into being a duplicate of Geno.
He was a really good kid, eyes bright as he watched the team skate around the ice.
Before Sid could squash the thought that had been haunting him since Geno told him he was going to break his bond with Anna, it came back up.
What if Nikita had been his?
As Sid got older, he tried so hard to not what/if every situation in life. There were some real heartbreakers that he would never know the answers to, that he would probably be sick if he really sat with them.
When Geno had come over, it had been made very clear by the Penguins organization that Geno was off limits. They were getting Geno for the team because they wanted him. They had picked him before Sidney, and they did not want any smart alec jokes about Geno being Sid's mail order mate.
Geno had been so insular once he came that it hadn't really mattered. As he started to chip away at English it was clear he had someone at home and Sid respected that. It didn't matter that they just got each other, Geno was allowed to have the gift of choice. Sid wouldn't take that away from him.
Though the internet liked to paint him one way, the media a similar shade, he hadn't been a choirboy. He had gotten around, at least his fill, and then started to date a beta so everyone would shut up about it.
The one time he thought maybe things would change was in Sochi. Sid had ended up single, Geno as well, and instead of it being a joyous celebration, a bonding moment where they both now understood the pressure of being on your country's team when they hosted, it pushed Geno back into himself.
Suddenly they were back to 2006, but Sid had grown as an alpha and a person. He knew his best friend and that Geno probably wanted a little space when they got back.
By the time Sid interceded, Anna was already there. Not physically, not yet, but mentally. She was the one thing keeping Geno afloat, and though Sid wanted so badly to be the rock in Geno's life, he had to be content to be the life vest.
When Anna moved to the States, there was a rotating cast of teammates that visited Sid's house. Some angry, some confused, some upset.
The only one who really understood was Kris. Flower had joined them, content with being supportive, but Kris knew. He sat all night on Sid's pretty looking but crappy feeling couch with their legs pressed firmly together, made sure Sid had all of his favorites, and told him to call his ex back.
Sid knew that meant they all thought there was no hope, that the status quo would remain.
Until it hadn't.
In all reality, there were a lot of dominoes that fell that made him reflect, but this almost meditative thought had come when Nikita came to the dressing room.
Sid had final say over any media about him, and on top of that they had thought it was so cute they'd shown him immediately. It had been adorable, but his heart had ached listening to the three of them chatter. It sounded so natural, so easy. Like a family of three.
His brain had lovingly supplied him with dream after dream of the three of them. Of Nikita with hair that was slightly curlier, slightly darker, grown out a little bit more. Just a pinch shorter, asleep with his head on Sid's chest, Geno snoring into his ear.
Sid's eyes felt very, very dry, so he blinked and for a singular moment, Nikita doubled. It was probably something in Sid's eye and he should blink it out.
Instead, he let the double vision set in. Even fantasized for a moment about there being a second blob, Nikita's hand firmly keeping them close, so excited to see them in playoff hockey.
What a ridiculous thought; Sid blinked hard to clear it. He wasn't Anna, he couldn't just have the baby for Geno.
That had been a scandal Sid hadn't anticipated, how backwards the NHL world was. When G and Anna had gone public, there had been a clock hanging over Geno's head. Good omega, leaving his job to provide a family for his alpha. When it had turned into Anna having the baby, tongues had wagged. Sid himself had made several statements saying over and over again that a family was a family no matter how it was made and that he was happy for Geno and Anna.
There was a certain group of the internet that had torn his statement to pieces. Not because they thought it was a PR statement, not because they thought it was Sid defending Geno, but because they thought it was a lie.
Maybe it had been. Sid didn't wanna think about it. He wanted to focus on now. Being together at least on the team, before their time finally ended.
Though all three of them could see the end, Kris still technically had two years and Sid prayed every night that Geno got what he wanted. He said he wanted two more years.
Sid would do anything to give him that. Give him anything he wanted. He deserved it, deserved anything he wanted.
All Sid knew he wanted was two more years of hockey. Sid could maybe at least get him one year.
A nudge at his back brought him back to reality. "He don't mean anything by it, Sid. He want to see, in case, you know?"
In case this was Geno's last home-stand. In case it was the last time they played together, in case something went wrong in the game and Geno didn't make it back out here tomorrow.
"Yeah." Sid's voice came out really rough, despondent.
"Sid?" Scent blockers were the norm but Geno was always the exception. He had been worried all day but now he was a different kind of worried.
"It's fine."
"Okay." Not the time or place to push. "You come for breakfast tomorrow? Or can sleep over tonight."
No alpha watching over Geno and Nikita always had Sid a little flustered. Even in the before, when things were okay with Anna, Sid would always drive by just to make sure. "I'll come over tonight as long as you ice your shoulder."
"You do." Geno's complaining would never truly be annoying to him, and he would never really turn down a chance to be helpful.
"Okay."
"And stay?"
It wouldn't be the first night this year Sid slept in his preferred guest room at Geno's. In fact, Geno had picked him up from the airport after the Olympics. Drove Sidney places too fast, fed him food definitely outside of his diet plan, made him laugh too hard over things that were objectively not funny.
His first night back in the States, he'd woken up at some ungodly hour to Geno sitting on the floor next to his bed, staring. It reminded him so much of his second round of symptoms. Sleeping in Geno's lower level guest bedroom, woken up every so often by his hovering, the cold winter months soothed by Geno running his big hands through Sidney's hair carefully. Their little loop.
"Sid? You okay? You not seem okay."
"Yeah, sorry. Yeah, I'll come over and stay. Someone has to make sure you get up on time."
He could give Geno two hands to hold the ice pack in place as they argued over reruns of the games before theirs. He could give Geno and his pup protection by sleeping downstairs. He could give Geno a good wake up call in case they had practice the next morning.
One last look over and Nikita had disappeared back to his seat. Sid sighed, then turned back to the ice to finish his warmups.
Geno was waiting to hound him, a smile on his face.
Things weren't so bad.