Work Text:
She can’t bear to spend the night alone
So she leaves a message on my phone
Broken once, the story remains unknown
Something was ringing.
The sound of the vibration against the wood was extremely loud. When he opened his eyes, the only source of light in the room was behind him. One arm was tucked under the pillow whilst the other lay on top of the duvet. In the few seconds between rubbing his eyes and turning to look at his phone, he realised that someone from his family was calling him. Although he had notifications turned off, he allowed his parents, siblings and their partners, his wife and nieces to call him at any time of day. When he looked at his mobile, he saw his mother’s name and photo and answered, without paying attention to what time it was.
‘‘Mom?’’ he asked, in a voice that clearly belonged to someone who had just woken from a deep sleep.
“Hi, son. Are you all right?” she asked in a voice that certainly sounded strange to him. So much so that when he heard it, he took the phone away from his ear to check the time. It was still 4 am, which meant it was 7 am for her, on the other side of the country. But for him to receive a call at this hour, it couldn’t be anything good.
“Uh… Is everything alright? Has something happened?” There was a note of concern in his voice. Was his father all right?
“Yes! We’re all fine here. Don’t worry.” Although he couldn’t see her, he could sense that she’d given a small smile on the other end of the line. Before he could say anything, she continued: ‘’I know it’s early for you, but we’ve just heard the news; it’s not public yet.’’ He felt his heart racing, took the phone away from his ear, and put it on speaker so he could see his notifications. Something had happened and he’d been asleep, unaware of anything. But as he scrolled through the screen, he saw nothing to worry about; it couldn’t be someone close to him, could it? He hummed so she could continue, ‘’But Billy passed away last night.’’
He fell silent. But Denise could hear the sound of the duvet shifting on the other end of the line, as Nick quickly sat up in bed.
‘’Nick?’’ asked his mother, concerned by her son’s lack of reaction.
‘’Billy…?’’ he asked, trying to take in the information, which was important enough for his mother to call him at 4 am.
She sighed and finally said, surprised that her son hadn’t understood straight away, ‘’Cyrus…’’ she replied and waited.
“Oh,” his body went rigid. When he first heard the name, he had a strong suspicion it might be him. There was no other Billy who could have prompted this late-night call. But even so, he wanted to be sure. Upon hearing the surname of the family who’d done so much good, both personally for him and professionally for the band, his thoughts turned to one person.
As he processed the shock of the news, his mother said: ‘‘The funeral is this afternoon in Franklin.’’ Without giving him a chance to say anything, she continued: ‘’Your father and I are going. To show our support for Tish and the children; they’ve done so much for you…’’
‘‘Yeah… they have.’’ He couldn’t help but sniffle. He didn’t want his mother to have heard that, but knowing her son as she did, she ignored it.
“Us going doesn’t mean you have to go too; I don’t know if you have any important commitments today…”
“I don’t have anything important. Have you told them yet?” And by ‘them’ he means his brothers, and she knows it.
‘’Not yet, I called you first.’’
‘’Right… I’ll talk to Greg to book the jet and I’ll be there as soon as I can.’’
‘’All right. Keep me updated.’’
‘’See you there.’’
He ended the call without knowing if his mother would say anything else. He wiped away the tear that had inevitably fallen from his right eye. He didn’t know if he was sad because of his passing (and it was at that moment he realised he hadn’t even asked the cause of death) or sad at the thought of the grief and emptiness she must be feeling. Perhaps a mixture of both, which left him even more devastated. The thought made him feel selfish. He didn’t have just one daughter; he had three daughters and two sons, and three grandchildren. There were several people who would face this grief, but he could only think of one.
He remembered when, a few years ago, it was common knowledge that they had severed ties. It had even lasted a few years. And even back then, he felt distressed for her, imagining what she must be going through, as she and her father were very close. And he felt relief when he saw that they had reconciled. Nick never fell out with his parents, but he did with his siblings, a guilt he still carries to this day, even almost 20 years later, and he remembers it as the darkest moment for his family.
A film played in his mind, bringing back all the memories — both sad and happy — he’d shared with Billy. Although his mom had said the news wasn’t public yet, he Googled his name anyway.
Nothing. He found nothing.
Nick threw the duvet aside, looked at the empty space on the other side of the bed, and got out of bed.
When you're ready to come home
I'll be here with open arms
When you're fighting through the storm
There's no need to be alone
It’s 1 pm. Local time. He gazes at the scenery outside the window whilst waiting for the jet to land. He scratched his head and ran his fingers through his hair; perhaps it was time to get it cut. He looks at Greg, who is sitting opposite him, and mentally thanks him for not only being an extremely competent manager, but also a great friend, who decided he wouldn’t let Nick go alone. Not that it was anything to worry about or anything, but his empathy and generosity wouldn’t let him put Nick on a plane by himself and send him off to Tennessee.
Before boarding the jet, his mom said that Kevin and Dani were coming too. Joe is on a trip with his daughters in Australia and won’t be able to make it, but he made sure to order a beautiful floral arch for the funeral.
His stomach churned with every second the jet lost altitude. Every foot it descended meant he was getting closer and closer to the venue… every foot it descended meant he was going to see a woman who had shaped his life for the first time in… years. How many years? Four. He quickly answered his own mental question. The 2026 Golden Globes. When he accompanied his wife to the ceremony and saw his first love from afar on the red carpet. She didn’t look at him. He hadn’t seen her since, and believe, he would have remembered if he had. But four years had passed and a lot had changed.
The plane landed, and he felt like he was going to be sick.
There’s a poison running through her head
Her father’s words will always leave her for dead
The mirror’s shattered like her confidence
She’s beautiful, so beautiful
He put his foot out of the car. The icy December air hit his red cheek. He started to think how in a few days the family would have to go through Christmas without him, the thought made him tear up. Thankfully, Greg interrupted his thoughts and concentrated on not thinking about that anymore.
“There they are,” Greg pointed towards the church door. Nick hadn’t asked, but he wanted to go in with his parents so he wouldn’t have to greet the family alone. So he was relieved to see they were still outside. The two of them went to meet Paul and Denise, who looked devastated. That made things feel all the more real to Nick. Kevin and Dani arrived a few seconds after them.
He was on the jet when TMZ broke the news and, luckily (or not), the details of the funeral hadn’t been made public. But the people of Franklin had noticed, and he saw a few people watching the front of the church from a distance, suspecting that the funeral might be for the great country music idol. No paparazzi was there, and people were far away enough to not be able to notice the faces of the mourners.
“Come on,” said the head of the family. They climbed the stairs, and Nick deliberately brought himself up to the back of the queue.
The first person they saw was Tish. Her hair was tied back and her eyes were very red, which stood in stark contrast to their usual bright blue, lively gaze. But now they were sad and she had huge dark circles under her eyes, which probably meant she’d stayed up all night sorting out all the paperwork and bureaucracy. Denise was the first to hug her and they stayed, for what seemed like a long time, in each other’s arms, whilst Nick and Kevin’s mother whispered comforting words in her ear. The other five watched as they waited their turn to greet her. When it was Paul’s turn, he too hugged her for a long while, whereas Kevin, Dani and Greg did so more briefly.
It was Nick’s turn. She broke into a smile, which seemed genuine, when she saw him.
“Nick! Thank you for coming,” she said as she placed a hand on the right side of her face, kissed him on the left cheek and pulled him into a hug.
“No need to thank me. I’m sorry,” he said during the hug, taking the opportunity to look over her shoulder at the people gathered there. Lots of familiar faces. Many of the Cyrus family members he’d met during the time he’d spent at their house, whether in Tennessee or Toluca Lake. He spotted Dolly, Miley’s godmother; he couldn’t remember the last time he’d seen her, but it was clear many years had passed. Nick and Tish stepped back and looked at each other again.
“Thank you,” she gave a faint smile, “you look very handsome.”
He was taken aback by the comment. He hadn’t been expecting it and gave a shy smile before stepping aside so she could greet those who had arrived and were standing behind him. He scanned the church discreetly once more. He didn’t see her anywhere.
In his mind, the moment he greeted Tish had been brief, but apparently it had taken long enough for her companions to have already greeted Braison, who was holding a child of about four years old on his lap, Noah, Trace and Brandi. He followed suit. He received the same awkward hug (having not seen these people for years and given the circumstances) but felt the surprise and, however slight, the happiness of seeing the Jonas family after so many years. He managed to coax a little smile from Braison’s daughter, told Noah that Frankie would be joining them later, kept it brief with Trace as he’d always felt intimidated by him, and then it was Brandi’s turn. Just like her mother, she smiled when she saw him and complimented his beard.
— Well… thank you. The last time we saw each other, I still had baby-soft skin — He gave a nervous chuckle and hugged her — I’m so sorry for your loss — he lamented.
— Me too… — she said sadly, still in his embrace.
The moment she finished her sentence, she appeared. She had just come out of a doorway and was alone. And just like her mother, her eyes were very red, contrasting with the blue. He couldn’t stop looking at her. Her hair was long and blonder (just the way it always drove him mad); she was dressed entirely in black, from head to toe, with the exception of a thin white scarf that hugged her neck and tucked inside her coat. He forgot he was still hugging Brandi, as she pulled away from him and realised Nick’s gaze was fixed in one direction. When she saw he was already mesmerised by her younger sister, she decided not to say anything more and stepped out of his way (though she would certainly make a comment about it in private with the family).
He didn’t even notice that she had left.
Probably sensing the piercing gaze following her through the church, Miley returned his gaze and, just like him, couldn’t stop looking. But she remained in the same spot and he began walking towards her, oblivious to his surroundings. He just kept going.
His heart was racing; what he didn’t know was that hers was too, perhaps even more so than his.
When he got close enough, her face fell into a cry as she opened her arms so they could break through the barrier of air between them. Without hesitation, he took her into his arms; her head was bowed, and she rested it against his chest. Instinctively, he placed one hand in her hair, stroking it gently, whilst his other arm held her waist tightly. She felt safe and knew he wouldn’t let her fall. Her hands met on his back; she clung to him tightly. He knew she wouldn’t let him go.
Nothing needed to be said. For him, nothing he could say would make her feel better; for her, she didn’t know how to express the feeling of seeing him there to support her and her family after so many years. But neither of them could deny the flutter of butterflies in their stomachs when their eyes met.
She felt like she was 14 again, when she was sad and he held her, only letting go when she let him. He feels like he’s 16 again, when they hugged like that on the night they sang ‘Before the Storm’ in Dallas, sad because their relationship was blossoming once more and they had to spend a few months apart — him to continue the tour, and her to return to filming her movie in Georgia — without knowing that he would be replaced a few days later.
If he’d known, he wouldn’t have let her go.
She feels like she’s 18, clinging to him after taking his virginity, unaware that she’d be replaced in a few days’ time.
If she’d known, she wouldn’t have let him go.
They both feel like they’re 20, clinging to each other in bed, after her first break-up with Liam during their engagement.
Now, both 38, neither of them wants to let go.
He doesn’t know how much time has passed. What he does know is that an eternity could pass and he would remain in the same position. But it wasn’t the right moment; they needed to return to reality.
‘‘I… I didn’t… expect to see you here,’’ she said between sobs, as she pulled her face away from his chest, yet kept her hands clinging to him from behind.
The hand that had been stroking her hair moved forward and wiped away a tear falling into her left eye, and he took the opportunity to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear, all the while keeping his eyes locked on hers. Anyone who caught sight of this scene quickly looked away; the interaction seemed far too intimate and private for any eyes to look at. He didn’t know how to describe the situation; here were two people who’d been in a relationship over 20 years ago, comforting each other in the middle of the church as if they were in regular contact. But it had been 11 years since they last spoke, and four since he last saw her. Yet the bond between them was so strong that none of that mattered. Fifty years could have passed; the feeling would be the same.
“How could I not come?” He stroked her cheek with his thumb. “Your father was very important to me, to us…” She nodded, realising that the ‘us’ referred to their family and the band. “And I had to come and give you all a hug.”
Her lips formed a smile and they began to hear the sound of guests sitting on the wooden benches, and that was what brought them back to reality. Miley released her hands from around his back and he also withdrew his hands from hers.
“Well…” he said nervously, “I think we should sit down.” She agreed and looked over Nick’s shoulder to see where her mother was. “I’m going to join my family.” She gave a small smile and, before she could say anything else, he turned and began walking towards the bench where they were sitting. She did the same and sat down next to her mother.
When he sat down in the remaining space on the bench, only her mother looked at him, as if analysing him, trying to read something on his face, but he just looked at her as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened. At that moment, he wished her mother would do as the others had and simply pretend they hadn’t just seen the two of them sharing an… intimate moment? It certainly seemed intimate. But thinking like that almost made him feel sick. Her father had died. And according to the articles that came out while he was up in the sky, it was due to an autoimmune disease he’d been secretly battling for a few years. But despite that, her closest relatives still gave him a small smile. All he was doing was comforting her, nothing more. After that, he’d leave and go back to his own reality.
There’s still more to say
So don’t be gone too long
Keep your spirit strong
When his parents told him that the service had been beautiful, he nodded automatically, but the truth was that the whole thing had passed in a blur. All he did was look at her. Sitting diagonally across from her, he was able to gaze at her profile the whole time, as if in a trance. He hoped no one had noticed. All he wanted to do was hold her again and tell her that everything would be alright. Hold her until she smiled again. He looked at his parents and couldn’t imagine losing them so suddenly; even though his father had been battling cancer for many years, he’d never been able to imagine life without them by his side, not until they were very old.
After the funeral, Dominic, Tish’s husband, came over to the family (and Greg, though he’s part of the family too) to say there’d be food at their house, and that they were invited. Kevin said he and Dani would have to go home, as their daughters were left on their own. Paul and Denise accepted.
‘‘Until when have you booked the jet at the airport?’’ Nick asked Greg before they could give Dominic a definite answer.
‘‘Until…’’ he said, taking his right hand out of his pocket and raising his wrist to check the time on his watch, ‘‘In less than two hours…’’ he replied quietly so that only Nick could hear. Greg noticed that Nick was trying to hide his disappointment and nodded, starting to look down, so he made a decision. “You want to stay, don’t you?” he asked, in a low voice again.
“Errr…’’ he cleared his throat, ‘’it’s the right thing to do,” he replied, sounding as though he was trying to convince himself of it.
“Then stay. Do you mind if I go back? The children have a recital at school tomorrow morning.”
“No!’’ he replied quickly ‘’Of course not. You’ve gone out of your way to come here, and I’m grateful for that. I’ll manage on my own later.”
“No need to thank me. I was quite fond of him too.” When he’d finished, he gave his long-time friend a hug to say goodbye. Greg did the same with his parents and took the opportunity to head out with Kevin and Dani.
Nick turned to his parents and noticed that Dominic was no longer standing near them, so he said: “I’ll let him know I’m coming too.”
When he approached Tish and her husband, he confirmed that he would be attending too and received an unexpected reply from the man he had never met before that day: “Ah! We were already counting on you.”
Nick wasn’t quite sure how to react, but to be honest, it made sense. He turned around and saw that his parents were greeting Miley, as when they’d arrived, he’d practically left no room for anyone else to do the same. She seemed calmer now, her eyes still quite swollen but her expression a little lighter. He approached slowly until she noticed him, smiled and said a shy ‘hi’.
“Hi…” he replied, giving a sheepish smile.
“I was telling your parents that there’s room in Dominic’s car and they can go together,” he said. “Great,” she replied, already knowing what his next question would be, so she cut him off, “and you can come with me.” She looked behind him and saw people moving to leave and heading towards their cars ‘’And actually, we’re leaving now…’’
Denise and Paul started walking to meet the couple who were going to give them a lift, and the two of them were left standing there. Before he could say anything, Miley turned and said: ‘‘The car’s on the other side.’’ So they started walking in the opposite direction. They were following a path that curious people that were observing the street at the time he arrived couldn’t see them.
He was finding it strange that they were walking alone until he asked: “Did you come on your own?”
“No, Brandi came with me,” she replied as she walked, looking at him.
“And… isn’t she coming with us?” He replied, looking back, trying to spot her older sister.
“No, she’s going in Braison’s car,” she replied as if it were the most normal thing in the world. He didn’t want to steal a lift from her sister.
Whilst he pondered the strangeness of the situation, trying to keep things normal nonetheless, they approached the car and he got into the passenger seat.
“Well, to be honest,” she said as she lowered the sun visor to look in the mirror; when she saw herself, she pressed her fist against her eyes as if to reduce the swelling, “I did it on purpose,” she confessed, looking at him. He had already fastened his seatbelt, but she hadn’t, which seemed to indicate she wasn’t going to start the car just yet. But the look on his face suggested he hadn’t understood that she’d done it on purpose, and he remained silent, so she continued: ‘’I imagine you’ll have to go back later, so I wanted to find a moment when we could…’’ she sighed, ‘‘…talk.’’
Nick’s fingers were intertwined, and the moment she said that, he clenched them, as if to release the tension somehow. When he saw she had finished, he said, keeping his eyes on hers: ‘‘I came with Greg; I was supposed to be on my way back already, but I decided to…’’ He looked down at his fingers, red from clenching them so tightly, and cleared his throat before saying the last word, ‘’…stay.’’ He lifted his head, looking straight ahead before looking at her again.
She was also looking straight ahead, but he saw that she was smiling with her lips. She shifted in her seat so that she could have her back to the door and look at him face-to-face more comfortably.
“It’s been so long… And seeing that you… and your family,” she clarified quickly, “have come has given me a sense of comfort.”
He now settled into the same position as her. “It’s just as I told you, you and your father were very important to us… Joe wanted to be here but he’s travelling with his daughters.” She smiled at the mention of Joe’s girls, imagining what a good father he must be. “Kevin and Dani had to go back because the girls are home alone.”
‘’Yeah, I spoke to them before they left.’’
‘’They’re your fans, you know…’’ He smiled, remembering the times he’d heard them mention both Miley and Hannah Montana, and had to pretend it didn’t affect him in some way.
‘’Their daughters?’’ she asked, raising an eyebrow in surprise.
‘’Yeah… they watched Hannah Montana on Disney Plus and, well, then they enjoy your music.’’
She gave a laugh. ‘’Is that… weird?’’ She shrugged as she pictured the scene of the kids watching the series with Kevin and Dani.
‘’What? It isn’t. Hasn’t anyone told you that you’re a Disney legend?’’ He teased, chuckling a bit.
She remained silent for a moment, a smile playing on her face, then said: “I imagine they’re quite grown up now…”
“Yes, Alena will be 17 in two months and Valentina is 14…” as he mentioned his youngest niece’s age, he looked away and remembered that it was at that age that they’d first met. He sighed deeply and turned his gaze back to her. “The same age we were when we met…”
She remained motionless, showing no emotion.
“Isn’t it strange that we’ve spent more than half our lives knowing each other?”
He nodded in agreement and looked down ‘’I can’t even remember what my life was like before that moment…’’ as he finished his sentence, his mobile phone, which was resting on his knee, lit up with a notification, and although it was upside down to her, Miley saw the wallpaper on his phone and saw his daughter, aged 8, in a pink princess dress.
Before he turned the screen off, she remarked: “She looks just like you.”
He looked up and his heart skipped a beat; he’d never imagined talking about his daughter with Miley, at any point in his life. He gave a genuine smile and nodded in agreement.
“She’ll be nine next month… it really is unbelievable.” His smile widened, revealing his teeth, as he reflected on how incredible it was to have a daughter and how she was the most important person in his life.
Miley raised an eyebrow. She knew he’d become a father several years ago, but hearing that she’d be turning nine still surprised her. They’d both lived through so much since the last time they’d spoken.
‘’I bet you’re a great dad.’’
He began to feel his cheeks burning and scratched one of them reflexively, as if the act of scratching would justify the redness that would remain there afterwards. He’d be lying if he said that, when he was younger, he’d never imagined he’d start a family with her, that they’d have children with eyes just like their mother’s. So hearing that comment certainly stirred things in his heart. But life had other plans for them, and that was fine. He’d had a good marriage, a marriage that had given him a wonderful daughter. He wouldn’t have done anything differently. And he knew she wouldn’t either.
He was starting to feel his body temperature rise, but the next question that came out of her mouth froze his whole body.
“Is… is it true?” she asked in a low, fearful voice, as if she were venturing into unwelcome territory.
Nick swallowed hard and took a deep breath as he nodded, already beginning to look down at his lap. Their fingers intertwined once more.
He knew exactly what that question was about. Two weeks ago, several major entertainment websites had reported that Nick and Priyanka were getting divorced. They hadn’t confirmed anything yet. But the groundwork was already being laid for when the bombshell dropped. He couldn’t say it came as a complete shock when she broke the news that she wanted a separation. Something had changed in their relationship, something he didn’t yet know how to put into words. He was sad, very sad, but he wasn’t completely devastated.
‘’I’m sorry.’’ she lamented in a sad tone, but in the very next sentence she said it in a more cheerful way, as if she wanted to make him laugh ‘’And believe me, I know how it feels.’’
And she achieved the effect she wanted to have on him. Self-deprecating jokes are unfortunately effective. He laughed and looked back at her, thanking her with his eyes for her support. Although they both knew their situations were completely different. Miley’s marriage had always been doomed to failure. Seven years of an on and off engagement, a forced marriage following a difficult time for her, and the result was divorce after seven months. As for Nick, he would have celebrated the 12th anniversary this month, and his daughter would turn nine next month. And she didn’t even know yet.
‘’Nothing prepares you for this moment. Nothing prepares you for what comes after. And being who we are’’ famous, she means, ‘’it’s even worse.’’
“Thank you…” he said as his left hand found hers, which was resting on the cushion between the seats that separated them. She looked at their hands as he squeezed hers, a sign of gratitude for her support. “I must admit I never imagined this. Meeting you again, at your father’s funeral, whilst I’m going through a divorce. It’s very… specific.”
It seemed that it was at that moment that Miley snapped back to reality and remembered that her father was no longer here. Her expression fell slightly. ‘‘We’d been expecting it… he was in a lot of pain.’’ She felt him squeeze her hand even tighter. ‘’We were watching him die everyday,’’ she breathed heavily, ‘’ but he’s at peace now.’’ It was she who was squeezing his hand now, and she gave a small, sad smile.
‘’I had no idea… I’m sorry.’’
‘’Don’t be silly, nobody knew. Just us.’’
‘’But if I’d known…’’ he began to say, but was interrupted.
‘’What would you have done?’’ she asked, slightly annoyed, not starting to like how cynical that sounded.
He shrugged and looked away, trying to find something to say, before it came out: “I’d support you and your family, of course.”
Miley broke the contact between their hands, crossed her arms and asked a question that had sprung up deep, deep, but very deep in the back of her mind when she saw him in the church — a question she hadn’t expected to come close to asking.
‘’Would you come if you were still married?’’
Nick was taken aback; he scratched his beard with his hand, still warm from their contact, and looked at her in bewilderment. He opened and closed his mouth several times before answering.
‘’It’s complicated.’’
“Which is also code for ‘no, I wouldn’t have come’. So don’t tell me you’d support us, when you wouldn’t do that”
“That was a stupid thing to say. I’m sorry.”
“It certainly was. Especially when you’ve spent the last, I don’t know how many years, pretending I didn’t exist, denying any part of your life I was involved in.” He looked at her, dumbfounded. “Yeah… I pay attention.”
“I’m sure Liam didn’t like hearing you mentioning me while you were married. Just put yourself in my shoes.”
Now it was him who had taken her by surprise. He was right. But she just rolled her eyes and started looking out of the window. It was practically dark already; her family was probably all gathered at the Cyrus’s house by now, and their absence had surely been noticed, even if no one was saying anything about it. But she still didn’t have the courage to start the car and drive away.
‘’I’d also feel insecure if I were them.’’
Miley realised that ‘them’ referred to Liam and Priyanka. And she agreed in her mind. Her relationship with Nick had never been ordinary or run-of-the-mill. She’d always heard comments, not from her family or his, trying to downplay what they’d been through because they were too young. If they were ordinary young people, perhaps it would be an ordinary relationship. But they weren’t ordinary people.
On 11 June 2006, she was already a star on the biggest children’s channel in the country and the world, he had already opened for the Backstreet Boys and the Cheetah Girls, and was yet to become a major star, like her, alongside his brothers.
They were musicians. They communicated through songs that were sold to thousands and thousands of people around the world. They went on a massive tour together when they had barely turned 15. Neither Nick nor Miley knew anyone who had even remotely experienced anything like what they had. There is no comparison.
There is no comparison to the warmth he felt in his heart when he first looked at her, just as at the funeral, he couldn’t take his eyes off her all day long.
If Nick had been just a childhood fling, Miley wouldn’t have told him she was going to marry Liam before the news went public. Something he decided to expose in the song “Wedding Bells”. She also doesn’t know that this news caused a domino effect that culminated in the band’s split in 2013. Nick was miserable about many things at the time, and perhaps the biggest of all was that the love of his life was getting married.
He doesn’t know that she didn’t just marry Liam to try to get over the sadness of losing her home in the Malibu fires, but also to fill the void left by seeing that he was going to get married. He doesn’t know that she judged their relationship harshly in her mind. They started dating in May and are getting married in December? ‘I bet it’ll last, yes.’ But karma hit her like never before in her life. She spent 10 years with Liam, seven of them in an on-and-off engagement, her marriage lasted seven months. And he got 12 years, he was certainly much happier than she was.
Neither of them knew what to say after that. She said nothing, but he knows she agrees. She didn’t know how to continue the conversation after that, but she still didn’t want to start the car and drive away. If no one knew where she was or who she was with, she would surely have received calls from her mom and Brandi, worried. And despite that intense moment in the last few minutes, she wanted to stay there. Before she could finish thinking of something to say, her thoughts were interrupted by the sound of Nick’s voice.
“I’ve never told you this…” He released her fingers and looked at her; she sensed a big secret was about to be revealed. “I’m sorry. For everything.” He placed his hand over his heart. She looked at him and it seemed as though tears were welling up in her eyes, so he continued ‘’You know I’ve never been good with words… only with songs… ‘’He paused for a moment to think of the many, many songs he’d written with Miley in mind ‘’But there were times in our lives when I didn’t treat you the best way.’’ He finished, swallowing hard.
‘’We were so young…’’ She spoke softly, trying to concentrate so her voice wouldn’t sound choked up.
‘’Not just when we were teenagers, but as adults too.’’
And the same film that was playing in his head began to play in hers. It seemed as though they had an unspoken agreement to always take ‘turns’ when hurting one another, as if it were revenge for the last time.
She kept looking at him; when a tear fell from her left eye, she turned her head towards the steering wheel so he couldn’t see, but he did.
“I… I don’t regret the way I’ve shaped my life. If I hadn’t taken that path, I might not have had my daughter. But I do regret many things,” he paused to sigh, scratching his head nervously; she noticed his hand was trembling. “How I used to disregard you or our relationship in the beginning. How I pretended we were just best friends and tried to downplay what we had. I know that hurt and bothered you, but I was selfish and only thought of myself. Or how I didn’t show you enough love in the summer of 2009, so that you went looking for it in Liam’s arms, because he could give you that at the time. How I went back to dating Selena afterwards, because I knew it would upset you, hurting not only you but her too, who obviously felt completely used’’ He couldn’t stop talking, when he paused to sigh, he choked back a sob and felt his own tears threatening to fall, but decided to carry on ‘’Or when I chose Delta when we were getting back together in 2011, ‘’Now his voice broke completely and he gave in to the tears, at first he placed a palm over his eyes whilst his mouth couldn’t hold back the expression. He felt soft fingers remove his hand from his eyes; she was closer to him, still in the same position, but leaning towards him. When he looked at her, she too had many tears streaming down her face. She wiped his tears away, held him, and intertwined her fingers with his. She nodded, giving him the freedom to continue ‘’I think that was my biggest mistake. You got back together with Liam straight away and that led to your engagement. I feel like I condemned you to a relationship doomed to fail, whilst I condemned myself to becoming a bitter and difficult person to deal with for years to come.’’
She gave a little smile through her tears and interrupted him as she stroked his hand with her thumb. ‘’I think I was always destined to live out that doomed relationship, really. You just made it happen faster. And I agree…about something you said, I don’t regret the way I’ve shaped my life either; I needed to go through those moments to learn and become a better person….’’
She pauses to think that they’ve never been in a situation quite like this before. Both vulnerable because of what they were going through, confessing and apologising for the way they’d treated each other in the past. They’d never properly ended their relationship; things had always been left ‘open’, so there’d always been a strange tension.
Closure, finally.
‘‘I accept your apology,’’ she said. Her free hand now rested on the left side of his face; she took the opportunity to wipe away a few more tears with her thumb, whilst her other hand continued to stroke his. “I was also very hard on you at various times and should have behaved better in many of those instances.” He raised his free hand to rest it on top of hers, which was on his face. “I think we can start over, be friends again…” She gave a smile.
He gave a small chuckle and looked away from her, as if thinking of something funny.
“What is it?” she asked quickly, curious about his reaction.
He looked up again with a mischievous smile on his face. “We were never friends.”
She’d never stopped to think about that. It was true. They’d never been friends. They’d always been boyfriend and girlfriend, or not. On the day they met, they’d already become a couple, completely skipping the friendship stage. When they weren’t dating, they didn’t speak to each other; it was too painful to be around one another, unless it was absolutely necessary, such as at work. Then they’d get back together, sometimes without the ‘dating’ label, but it couldn’t be defined as a friendship either.
She burst out laughing, making him realise she’d only just realised this now, ‘’But we can be together now, for real.’’
‘’I like that idea’’ He smiled. He tried to hold back so the smile wouldn’t be so wide but couldn’t resist, his hand lost contact with hers as his arm went around her back, where she pulled him into a hug. She wrapped both arms around his neck and relaxed. She rested her head on his shoulder, gazing at his neck; she closed her eyes so she could take in his scent. She could feel his open hand on her back, caressing her.
‘’Thank you.’’ She said in a relaxed voice, without moving, “For coming, for being here, and for this. I didn’t realise how much I needed this.”
“Me too. This feels much better than all those years of therapy… All I needed was to feel your embrace again and have your—” he paused, “well… friendship back.”
They both chuckled and stayed in the embrace for a little longer. Until Miley opened her eyes and saw that it was already completely dark outside, so she pulled away and looked at him.
‘’I think we’d better go.’’ She settled herself in the seat and finally fastened her seatbelt, ‘’It’ll be a bit awkward turning up after so long, but… I hope they’ve kept something for us to eat.’’ She started the car. She was leaving her father behind, but she’d gained a friend back. Not that it filled the void her father’s loss had left in her, but she would certainly end the day with something positive to remember. And so would he. The divorce proceedings were only just beginning, but he was feeling slightly lighter and more confident.
He settled himself in the seat and nodded to her, indicating that he was ready to go too. He looked at her for a few brief moments as she manoeuvred the car, already mentally jotting down the lyrics that would describe this moment in his next songs.
'Cause I'll be waiting, I'll be waiting
While you're gone
While you're gone
While you're gone