Chapter Text
Frederick was doing what he did best: sitting and doing nothing in a void. At least, that was what a mortal like me would say about his activities. Cosmic entities go beyond our understanding, and that includes their daily lives, if days are even something they abide by.
However, his loneliness was broken when a familiar, but not necessarily welcome, figure appeared. “Hi, Freddy!” Sadie beamed. The rainbow-coloured veldigun that he had known from the future to the past across dimensions was standing confidently in front of him, one hand on her hip and the other holding a golf club that was resting on her shoulder. She wasn’t wearing her usual appearance, instead wearing a golf-checkered shirt, plus fours and a flat cap, and her hair had been put up in a messy bun. She looked like something straight out of a sitcom.
Frederick sighed. “What have you come to torment me with now, Sadie Aurora Painite Heart?”
“Don’t be so formal, Fred,” she chuckled. “You know you can just call me Saph.”
“I prefer not to be so casual with you.”
Sadie shrugged. “To answer your question, I’m taking you golfing.”
Frederick looked at her with a puzzled expression, but it wasn’t visible for us 3rd dimensional (we just see it as a mask). “Golfing?”
“Yeah! What do you think the outfit is for?” she asked, throwing her arms out in the air.
She was right, it was pretty obvious. Sadie tended to be very cliché when it came to things like that.
“Well?” she asked. “Are you coming?”
“Who said I am actually going to participate in such a mortal activity, Sadie Aurora Painite Heart?” he scorned.
She giggled. “Me, silly! Now come on, we don’t want to be late.”
“We surpass time and space, Sadie Aurora Painite Heart, there is nothing to hurry for.”
“Stop being so serious all the time, Freddy. This will be fun!”
“Fun in the terms of mortals do not apply to me.”
Sadie pouted. Suddenly, her expression became that of smug malice. “You’re not telling me you’re… scared of participating in mortal activities, right?”
Frederick stared her, a mix of shock and fury composed his current thoughts. “What is that for an accusation?”
“I don’t know… kind of sounds like you are just afraid of coming off your high horse and proving to me and everyone else in the 6th dimension that you can play golf.” She laughed. “Unless you can’t even do that right.”
He could feel anger, pure, burning rage skittering across his body like centipedes, digging their way into his very core and swallowing him from the inside. It felt like the porcelain on his face was cracking. “YOU DARE TO PROCLAIM THAT I AM A FOOL TO EARTHBORNS!!!” he snapped.
Sadie grinned tauntingly at him. “Are you going to prove me wrong?”
“Prove you wrong?” he laughed. He reached into the shadows, darker than dark, and pulled out his own golf club. His red eye burned with determination and rage. “I will make sure you never underestimate me again.”
The golf course was a vibrant shade of green, perfectly cut. The sky was a cold, clear shade of blue, and the sun was smiling over the whole area. But Frederick could give less of a shit. There was not time to admire mother nature’s work; she was beneath him anyway. No, what really mattered was to wipe that taunting smug expression off Sadie’s face and proof once and for all that he was not as pathetic as his mortal father.
Sadie made some practise swings out in the air. She turned to Frederick and raised a brow. “Why are you in your human form?”
“We are among the earthborn, Sadie Aurora Painite Heart. I would shatter their fragile minds if I appeared here in my typical appearance.”
“Well, I’m not participating in your little masquerade. I’m happy with how I look and no one should judge that,” she said, striking a confident pose.
Frederick rolled his eyes. “You are a demigod; mortals can perceive such beings.”
Sadie pouted. “Whatever. Let’s get on with the golfing!"
His grip around the golf club tightened. It was time.
The first hole was easy. It wasn’t too far away from the tee, and Frederick calculated that, if he hit the ball correctly, he could get a swift hole-in-one. He glanced over at Sadie. She seemed surprisingly relaxed for how serious this was. Why was she so confident in her abilities? Didn’t she know how hard he would crush her in this competition?
“You go first,” she said.
He aimed, raised the golf club and swung. The ball was sent flying across the field and landed mere metres from the hole.
Sadie whistled. “Not bad.”
Frederick didn’t respond. He replayed his actions in his head, trying to figure out what specifically he had done wrong. He had been too tense. Yeah, that must have been it. He couldn’t let her know he was irritated by the result. “Of course not. Such a course is no match for a being like me.”
“Let me give it a go,” Sadie chirped, raising her golf club and hitting the ball. It was messy and careless. She had spent no time whatsoever aiming or anything. She had just hit it like it was nothing but a mosquito to her. Frederick shook his head disapprovingly.
The ball flew through the air, hitting the ground and bouncing a couple of times on its way, until… IT FELL IN THE HOLE!!!
“I did it!” Sadie cheered.
“What!?” Frederick roared. How could this be possible? All his calculations pointed to a swing like that resulting in absolute failure. Sadie was doing a little celebration dance. He was foaming at the mouth but quickly collected himself. It was just the first hole. He could easily catch up and get the winning score. He just had to focus for the next one.
However, that was not what happened. Every time, Frederick’s shots would always be only a small length away from the hole, but never quite there. Sadie on the other hand hit hole-in-one after hole-in-one. He had tried and failed countless times to analyse her strategy, and he was growing desperate.
They were nearing the end of the courses, and the chance of winning this was so low that Frederick was starting to lose faith. But he kept pushing. If Sadie could just fail miserably at the last ones while he got hole-in-one’s in all of them, he would come out on top.
They were at the next course. It was now or never. He closed off all other sounds and concealed himself in his own thoughts. There was nothing left but him, the golf ball and the hole. He aimed and swung, and as it had done many times, the ball flew through the air, but this time, it came closer than ever before. It neared the hole’s edge, sending it spinning around tauntingly. He bit his tongue. He had lived for eons, but this moment right here felt longer than his entire lifespan. But then… the God damn fuckass ball didn’t GO INTO THE FUCKING HOLE!!! No, instead, it rolled a few centimetres away.
“Oof, that’s a really unfortunate one,” Sadie mumbled. “Oh well, you’ll get it next time, I’m sure!”
Frederick didn’t respond.
“Freddy?”
He could feel his skin hardening to porcelain, losing any warmth. It began to crack; his entire body was breaking down. The ground beneath started shaking violently. The rage was too large to be concealed inside this mortal body, it wanted out. It was becoming increasingly hard to stay in this human form. The sky was growing darker, shadows started crawling their way across the surface, swallowing everything in their way. His eyes glowed red like the core of hatred and-
“Hey Fred, you okay there?” Sadie asked.
He was suddenly pulled out of his rage. He glared at her. She looked at him with concern in her eyes. The world began returning to normalcy, the shadows retreating, the cracks closing.
He straightened up. “Yeah, I’m just… frustrated.”
“I get you, you didn’t even practise for it. I made a slit in time where I practised golf for 6 human years just for this.”
He stared at her. “I was allowed to practise beforehand?”
“Yeah- oh, I’m stupid. I should have told you. I’m sorry,” she said.
Frederick patted her on the shoulder. “It is quite alright, Sadie Aurora Painite Heart. As much as everyone may think you are, you are in fact not perfect in all fronts.”
“If you want to practise now, we can do that.”
“Yes!” Frederick shouted.
Sadie jumped. “Uh- okay.”
After practising for 6 years in a slit of time, Frederick felt much more confident in his golfing abilities, and the confidence had been valid. The last few courses they had both gotten hole-in-ones every time. They were now at the final course.
“Okay, last one! You ready?” Sadie asked, smiling.
“How about you go first this time, Sadie Aurora Painite Heart?” Frederick replied, smiling back.
She seemed surprised, but she took the offer and prepared her swing. But he noticed something in her eye. A spark, too bright and too powerful. Before he was able to comment on it, Sadie sent the ball flying into the sky, past the hole and continuing until neither of them could see it.
Sadie dropped her golf club. “Shit!”
Frederick was trying not to laugh.
Meanwhile, somewhere in Eastridge
Alex was reading a book at the table. They looked over at Clyde on the sofa. It was playing around with a dead mouse. While they typically wouldn’t let it bring dead animals into the house, this little mouse had been an issue for a while. Suddenly, Clyde looked at something outside the window.
“What are you looking a-”
A golf ball crashed through the window and slammed into Clyde, sending it tumbling over the sofa and into the wall.
Alex stared at the scene, dumbfounded. “Holy sh-”
Back at the golf course
“Hold on, let me check the rules,” Sadie mumbled, pulling out a book that had been given to her by an employee. “What!? No way!” she cried.
“What is it?”
“It says I get minus points for this!”
“Oh, how much?”
“It depends on how far it got, but how am I supposed to know.”
“Hold on, let me exit the 3rd dimension,” Frederick said. He engulfed himself in the shadows, bringing himself out of mortal’s understanding and observing their fragile world. He quickly located the golf ball and the distance it had flown. He returned to Sadie with the information. She removed the points needed with a very upset demeanour.
“Okay, now it’s your turn, Freddy,” she muttered.
He grinned, grabbed his golf club and aimed. “It was now or never,” he thought. He hit the ball. It flew through the air, bounced a few times towards the hole, spun around in the hole before… it went down.
“How much did I get?” he asked.
Sadie looked at the notepad. “Uhm… you got… wait…”
“What?”
“We have equal scores,” she said.
“Give me that,” he said, ripping the notepad out of her hands and reading it through. She was right; they were equal.
“Hey, at least you didn’t lose,” Sadie tried, but Frederick could tell she was still upset over losing so many points.
“That’s correct, Sadie Aurora Painite Heart.” He smiled and handed her the notepad back.
“What a day!” Sadie beamed. They were back in the void. She had changed back to her usual appearance and so had Frederick.
“I agree with you, it has been quite the adventure,” he said, looking off into the darkness.
“We should hang out again some time.”
“I’d rather not.”
“Come on, Fred. How about you decide what we do next time?”
He thought about it for a moment. “Okay, we can go with that."
She grinned. “Hurray!” she cheered before pulling Frederick into a hug.
“Hey, hey, who said you could hug me?” he protested.
“Who said I couldn’t?” she asked.
Frederick didn’t know how to respond to that.