Chapter Text
April 16th, 2004
In the night sky over Los Angeles, a helicopter was hovering over the Forum. The stadium was packed with fans dressed in red and black punk attire, ready to see their favorite artist perform.
"Ladies and Gentlemen, Roxie Werner!" The announcer's voice sounded on the loudspeaker. An eighteen year old girl and three teen men parachuted out of the helicopter onto the stage.
"I'm Cian!" The blonde teen announced.
"I'm Trevor!" The teen with the brown mohawk announced.
"I'm Xavier!" The boy with the black NY Yankees hat announced.
"And I'm Roxie!" The girl with the blonde and brown hair announced. "And this is the Break the Chain Tour!" The crowd cheered. Roxie and her band went to their instruments and began singing.
When I met you, you were fine
Now you're just angry all the time
Just be you, don't be sad
So we can relive all the good times we've had
You don't need to cha-a-a-nge who you are
Because being yourself is being a golden star
When you smile you can hear it for miles
So don't chaaaange...who you are.
The crowd went wild, screaming their lungs out.
"WE LOVE YOU ROXIE!!" A nerdy green haired fan screamed in such joy. After the song finished, the crowd gave Roxie and her band a standing ovation. The crowd stayed on their feet during the concert.
Back at their hotel room in Inglewood, Roxie and the band were chilling and relaxing at the presidential suite at the Hilton.
"What a concert." Roxie was exhausted, throwing her black leather jacket on the chair.
"You said it." Cian replied. "I just want to eat some sushi, watch some 'tube and be done with it."
"You had me at sushi." Roxie called the room service.
"Hi, this is Roxie Werner, I'd like to place an order of 8 orders of California Roll, 4 orders of shrimp calamari, 4 orders of shrimp tempura, 2 orders of Cal Eel Roll, 2 orders of Mon Calamari roll, 4 orders of Lobster roll, and four diet Sprites.
"That'll be 300 dollars." Roxie gave the attendant her credit card information.
"Thanks for the payment." The hotel attendant replied. "Your order will be processed real soon."
Moments later, the hotel bellhop came with the sushi and diet soda, rolling it in the room on 4 carts.
"SUSHIIII!" Roxie and her band screamed. They took the sushi plates and devoured the sushi, eating roll after roll really fast.
"Ok, what to watch?" Roxie turned on the TV.
"The HBO movie channel is showing Miss Congeniality." Cian mentioned.
"Let's watch that!" Roxie turned on HBO, but before they could start the movie, they were hit by some sort of sci-fi beaming device. They were beamed into a command center with a white and silver interior. There was a silver metal desk with a desktop in front of a big screen.
"Where are we?" Roxie asked.
"I have no idea." Cian wondered where the beaming took them. The woman behind the desk revealed herself.
"Maria, what are you doing here?" Trevor reacted.
"Hello, Roxie and Blue Saints." Maria announced. "Please let me explain. Being a band manager was just a front for me to recruit you."
"Blue Saints? That's our old band name!" Xavier replied.
"Shut it, Xavier!" Cian suggested.
"Please, fellows." Maria wanted everyone to focus. "Welcome to AGATE, or American Global Allied Taskforce Enterprise, a global organization dedicated to fighting supervillains, terrorists, and organized crime all over the world." Maria showed a graphic on the screen. "We have six branches in six continents."
"So there's no branch in Antarctica?" Xavier joked.
"No, because not a lot of crime happens in Antarctica, because the only people there are the scientists." Maria continued with the introduction. "For every mission you will be beamed here to receive a briefing and receive gadgets for the mission, as well as a cool vehicle designed by AGATE's top scientists."
"Cool!" Trevor was excited.
"Roxie, you are the leader." Maria wanted Roxie as the leader because she was the band leader. "You are the voice of reason in missions.
"I can be a tech genius." Cian added.
"And I'm the muscle." Xavier mentioned.
"And I'm the weapons expert." Trevor replied.
"Now that we have our team, let's go over the mission objective." Maria pointed to the footage on the screen.
"There has been an oil spill on the Gulf of Mexico by a company known as Jester Oil." Roxie, Trevor, Xavier and Cian looked at the oil spill footage.
"Green oil?" Roxie gasped. "Looks more like toxic waste."
"The spill has polluted the sea as well as the Grand Isle Beach bordering it. Fish have been poisoned, harmful gases have been released into the air, and beachgoers have had one bad beach day."
"This sounds like someone needs to be taught a lesson!" Roxie was angry at whoever was behind Jester Oil.
"Before you release your rage, here are your gadgets." Maria pressed a keyboard combination, opening up a tray coming out of the floor with the gadgets.
"Here are four laser pistols, eight sonic mines, four hypermagnetic wrist watches, and four laser swords. And your most important gadget, the Communipad." The Communipad looked like a GameBoy Advance SP that functioned as a communicator.
"Thanks, but how do we clean the oil spill?" Roxie asked.
"The vehicle chosen for this assignment is a hovercar street sweeper." Maria showed a photo of the car on the screen. "It can hover and it can clean any dirty surface. That concludes the mission briefing." Roxie and the Blue Saints were beamed to the street sweeper, ready to head to Grand Isle.
"All right team, Grand Isle, here we come!" Roxie started the engine and flew the hovercar off the helipad.
"Beach party, baby!" Xavier was enthusiastic. "Going to party till the cows come home and drink like there's no tomorrow!"
"I don't think underage drinking is a good idea." Roxie suggested.
"Just trying to blend in." Trevor apologized for his remark. The hovercar flew from Los Angeles all the way down to the Gulf Coast in Grand Isle.
Grand Isle Beach.
The beach was covered in green toxic waste. When it touched the water, toxic gases were fuming from the Gulf into the air. Some of the beachgoers were turned into skeletons because apparently, the toxic waste incinerated their entire flesh. The seagulls were reduced to bird skeletons because their feathers, beaks and flesh were already singed in the hot toxic waste. Some kids were looking at the toxic waste.
"Hey Mommy, what's this green stuff?" A five year old blonde kid looked at the toxic waste. He was standing ten feet from it.
"Now boys, don't touch that stuff!" The mom replied. "Come on, kids, let's go to the other side of the beach. It's safer down there." The mom, dad, and their kids began packing their stuff to move to the other side of the beach.
"Oil?" Roxie observed the black liquid. "No, it's something else." The oil substance was steaming hot, like a Yellowstone hot spring. Roxie landed the hovercar and drove over the liquid, cleaning it up successfully. She got out of the street sweeper and scooped up a sample of the hot toxic waste in its canister on the hovercar.
"I got the toxic waste." She called Maria on her Communipad.
"Good." Maria replied. "There is an AGATE drop off station somewhere along the beach disguised as an ice cream stand." Roxie saw the ice cream stand just 40 feet from where the spill was. She took the substance to the stand. Roxie put the canister down to talk to Maria.
"I am at the stand, now what?" Roxie asked.
"Place the canister into one of the chutes and our scientists at AGATE will analyze it." Maria hung up. Roxie grabbed the canister and loaded it in the chute. Roxie came back to the boys and decided to wait till Maria called her. A little time passed and Maria called Roxie on the Communipad.
"Maria, what's the latest?" Roxie asked.
"Thanks for the sample." Maria congratulated Roxie. "We'll have that canister in a secure location, but for now, I need you to pay a visit to Jester Oil, the company behind the oil spill, which is headquartered in New Orleans at the intersection of Julia Street and St. Charles Street. I'm sure you can't miss it." She hung up.
"Pack your bags, everyone, we're going to NOLA!" Roxie told the boys.
"New Orleans, here we come!" Roxie selected Vehicle Delivery on the Communipad menu and they brought a silver 2002 BMW 325i to the parking lot.
"Get in!" Roxie told the crew. They got in and drove to New Orleans.
"Ok, let's see what features this car has." Roxie pushed a button, and it revealed a Coke dispenser on the backseat.
"Sweet!" Trevor popped open a Coke and started drinking.
"How about we sing a driving song!" Xavier requested.
"I'm glad you asked!" Roxie turned on the radio and "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls was on, so they started singing along to the music. They drove down the interstate, vibing and singing along to the song. Two hours passed and they got to New Orleans.
"Ah, New Orleans." Xavier looked at the sights. "Can we eat some shrimp gumbo and play When The Saints Go Marching In on the trumpet as we walk down Bourbon Street?"
"Xavier, we're not tourists, we're spies!" Roxie reminded Xavier. "Our top priority is Jester Oil." They drove to the Warehouse District to the intersection of Julia Street and St. Charles Street, seeing a Jester Oil sign on the building on the intersection. It was a green jester cap in a circle with the JESTER OIL letters in yellow.
"That looks like the place." Roxie parked the car in the parking lot. She and the boys tried to go inside, but the door was locked.
"No problem." She used her laser gun to shoot the lock on the door, melting it. She opened the door and met the startled attendant.
"Can I help you?" The attendant asked.
"We're here to see who runs this place." Trevor pointed his laser gun at the attendant.
"Trevor, no violence to the staff!" Roxie snapped.
"He's in his office right now, he's very busy." The attendant confirmed. He's down the hall to the right." Roxie and the boys went down the hall to the left and busted the door open. The office was more like a throne room, a green palace with gold fixtures and the main man himself, the Court Jester, sat on his red and gold throne, seen with his white clown makeup and green suit.
"Who the hell are you?" Roxie asked.
"Why I am the Cool, Calculated Court Jester, the Jolliest Jokester in all the land!" The clown man laughed maniacally.
"We need to know why you poisoned the Grand Isle Beach." Trevor pointed his gun at the Jester.
"Why, to terraform the beach to make room for Jester Park, the Santa Monica Pier of the Gulf Coast!" Jester laughed.
"Killing people for a stupid amusement park!" Roxie drew her laser sword. "Not to mention incinerating wildlife?"
"That's the idea." Jester laughed. "The people and the wildlife are trespassing on my construction site, so I had to kill them."
"Your construction site made a bunch of fish into fried seafood." Xavier drew his laser sword. "Stop this charade and let's finish this!"
"Oh guards!" Jester called. "Daddy needs you to dispose of some trespassers!" Jester's bodyguards, clowns in green leather jackets, came to aid Jester in his fight. Cian threw Sonic Mines and caused a guard's ears to bleed.
"My ears!" The guard couldn't take it. "Make it stop!" Cian snapped the guard's neck while he was paralyzed. A guard swung a lead pipe at Trevor, but he used his magnetic wrist watch to attract the pipe. He took the pipe and threw it at the guard, knocking him out. Another guard used a sledgehammer to swing at Xavier, but he sliced the hammer in half with his laser sword and cut the guy clean in half. The fourth guard was swinging a katana, doing tricks with it. Roxie used her laser pistol to shoot the guy in typical Indiana Jones fashion.
"Enough of this nonsense!" Jester decided to get off his ass and fight. "Have at ye!" He used his electric buzzer to zap Xavier with electricity, but Cian blocked it with a sonic mine.
"My ears!" Jester panicked. While he was paralyzed, Roxie punched him in the head, knocking him out. The AGATE agents swarmed the throne room and cuffed Jester.
"Good job, agents!" Maria congratulated the team on their capture when she returned. "Jester will be sent to AGATE Prison, located somewhere near the Salton Sea."
"No, you can't do this!" Jester begged.
"Tell it to the judge, evil-doer." An agent replied to Jester, suggesting he shut up.
"What about the toxic waste?" Roxie asked Maria.
"AGATE will send a hazmat team to take care of it." Maria replied. "You better go back home to Los Angeles and finish your tour."
"Oh, shit!" Roxie gasped. "We have a show to do in the Bay Area! And the tour bus is in LA!"
"Not to worry, I can beam you four to the bus." Maria pushed a button on her bracelet under her suit, and beamed the four to Roxie's tour bus.
Candlestick Park, April 23rd, 2004
"Thank you and good night, San Francisco!" Roxie shouted to the crowd. Her fans cheered for her.
"WE LOVE YOU ROXIE! YOU'RE THE COOLEST GIRL EVER!" Roxie's fans were on fire.
"I think you should name your fans." Cian suggested. "They seem rather dedicated.
"Maybe I will, Cian!" Roxie gave a wink, having an idea to name her fans.