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you wake up with a headache that threatened to grow. turning around in your bed you search for joyce's warmth. it is saturday morning and you two are going to the fun fair today. but where is she? and why do you feel like your head is about to explode?
that’s it, you think to yourself. joyce finally had enough of your whining and crying and your feelings. you expect a note on the fridge, telling you to pack your things and leave. your head begins to swim with thought.
just when your mind is made, about to get up from the bed, you hear joyce's warm voice from the kitchen. “babe? you awake yet? i made us pancakes before the festival!"
who was the paranoid one now?
people could call joyce byers many things. paranoid, immature, rude. but you couldn’t, not when you knew her for who she really was. or how much she loved you, her pretty, loving girlfriend.
you recall last wednesday night, after work. you had shut her off completely after a stressful week. thinking it was for the better to not let her into your problems, she had enough of her own. you just came home, slumped on the bed, barely hearing joyce’s reckonings about how you needed to eat something. you thought it was better to not let her bother. it wasn’t one of your best ideas.
wednesday night, you came home after work thinking no one’s in. that was an especially draining day, you had almost ended up crying in one of the bathroom stalls, overstimulated. so when your feet took you to the bedroom and toppled you over to the bed, not holding back a sob, you haven’t heard joyce’s footsteps in the corridor. your face was pressed on the mattress, legs hanging out and you didn't feel joyce’s presence till she sat on the bed and put a hand on your shoulder. you jumped, lightly.
“[name]?” joyce’s voice was so soft as she called out for you, “talk to me?” you finally lifted your head from it’s spot, unspilled tears mixing with your smudged mascara. you pushed yourself up the bed and leaned in to hug joyce. your hands held onto the blades of her shoulders as she calmed you best as she could.
“what’s wrong baby?” she was rocking both of you back and forth. you mumbled from where your face was buried on her flannel, “work.” joyce cooed, “oh, sweetheart.” as her fingers stroked your hair, getting tangled. you hesitantly raised your head.
“can we go to the festival this weekend- together, you know- i…” you had sighed, "don't want to think- i just need to…" joyce had understood immediately. she had bopped your nose sweetly and spoke, “anything for my little princess."
and now you are sitting at the kitchen table, munching on the pancakes joyce had just made with a huge smile on your face. your headache seems to dissipate a little after realizing that joyce very much is home and the plans are still on.
“so tell me, what do you wanna do today?” joyce asks from the sink, washing both of your plates. she is still in her pyjamas, the morning light hits her face through the window and this must be the face of an angel, you manage to think.
“please, please, can we get on the ferris wheel!” you jump up on your toes next to her with uncontainable excitement. “and then maybe… the spinning cups? pleaseee…” joyce smiles at you, her eyes fluttering. she loves to see you this excited after a week of disdain.
“okay, okay! of course we can, but you promise not to get sick?” she gives you a lopsided smirk while drying her hands with a towel. you look down at your feet, joyce knows you get nauseous easily. she notices the gesture, bringing two fingers underneath your chin to lift your gaze up and she speaks, “alright how about this… we can do both, but no roller coasters or anything more crazy. huh, princess?”
you look into her large brown eyes and beam, tucking your chin to your chest. she giggles and gives your cheek a sweet kiss. you lean into her soft lips, letting her take your hand. “okay baby, time to get dressed!” and with that joyce leads the two of you into your shared room.
·˚ ༘
the festival area is not far from home, barely a ten minute car ride. you walk through the entrance, hand in hand with joyce. she has her usual baggy jeans on with a red undershirt and an unbuttoned flannel to pair with it. you try not to jump up and down next to her, fears of people staring at the two of you too much. joyce seems care-free though, like if anyone came up to her asking questions she would punch them down.
the two of you walk through the whole of the fair, making mental notes about the rides you want to take, games you wanna play, taking your time. it’s a little past midday when you notice karen and little holly at one of the lines to get their photo taken. karen spots you first, waving for you to come over.
“hi [name]! hey joyce!! what are you guys doing here?!” karen sounds so excited to see you both. you go in and hug her as joyce waves over to holly, barely able to talk. karen smells so nice, like cookie dough and her perfume, as always. then you bend on the knees to tickle little holly, who has two pigtails holding up her hair on the sides. “we should all get our photo taken, together!” karen exclaims.
“you sure about that? you know… i don’t wanna be a-”
“don’t even finish that sentence baby.” joyce pulls you in by your waist, planting a soft kiss at the crown of your head. you melt into her touch, leaning into the side of her body. the line doesn’t take too long and all four of you sit on a big couch in front of a cardboard that reads “hawkins fun fair”. you sit on the side, close to joyce who is next to karen. holly doesn’t get off of her mother’s lap and just when you’re holding joyce’s waist with both hands and laughing at the way karen is trying to get holly to look at the camera, the photo snaps.
and the result is priceless. joyce is looking at you with pure affection as you lean over her body to point at holly. who is also looking at you with a confused expression and not the kamera. karen has a huge smile on her face as she has finally given up, her eyes closed.
like one big weird family, you think to yourself.
“we’re gonna get some caramel popcorn, you guys want some?” karen asks, taking holly’s hand in hers.
“i think we’re gonna play some of those games over there,” joyce points to the huge stuffed animals and you almost squeal, “but meet you at the spinning cups in a few hours?” and you watch the two of them walk away.
joyce takes your hand again, “you looked so happy in that picture princess.” you shy away, tucking your chin by your side. “so did you…” you mumble, causing joyce to giggle in response as you walk over to one of the balloon darts.
there is a big red bear that you got your eyes on, waiting in the line till it's your turn. but then you catch the slushie stands just behind this one.
“oh my god joy’ please please can we get slushies! please please…” you tug at the sleeve of her flannel, making her turn her head. it’s your turn at the game now and you still have your eyes on the bear. the woman at the stand hands you three darts, if you snap at least three balloons you win.
“if you win this one, we can get them.” joyce whispers in your ear as you’re standing your ground, positioning your feet. you just smile at her words, knowing she will buy them for you regardless of the results but it does bring a thrill to it all.
you hold the dart on the tip of your fingers, bite your tongue and take your shot. one balloon pops. then another with your second dart. you can feel joyce watching over you with hardly contained affection. you hold your breath and send the last dart flying onto the board and end up popping two ballons at once, which earns you one of the bigger plushies.
“good job!” joyce exclaims from the side, fussing up your hair a bit. you giggle and look into her eyes, straightening your clothes nervously as the lady asks you what toy you want.
·˚ ༘
after drinking your slushie (alongside half of joyce’s), playing more games, winning at the ring toss but losing in mini-basketball (”it’s okay angel, you can’t be good at everything.” joyce had teased) you finally walk over to the spinning cups. you have your bear tucked close to your chest, other hand holding joyce’s as she carries the two other toys she won. one of them a silly looking dinosaur, the other a yellow elephant that joyce said reminded her of you.
“you sure you won’t feel sick baby?” she asks you and you nod enthusiastically, almost dropping your toy in the way. you hear joyce’s chuckle reverberate through your skull before you see it, “my silly girl.” she whispers in your ear, just when karen and holly show up.
“hey to you two!” karen waves over, joining you. there isn’t much of a line at the spinning cups so it doesn’t take long for the four of you to settle in one of the vehicles. joyce and you side by side, facing them. karen looks especially excited for this, constantly babbling nonsense into holly’s ear or for all of you to hear. things about how much she loves this, how you two should come over more often just to taste her current favorite cake recipe.
and with that the ride starts, slow at first with the cups turning both around each other and within themselves. you can’t hold the giddy laugh leaving your chest when it starts to spin faster. your vision blurring and all you feel is joyce hooking an arm around you. you rest your head on her shoulder and hold her free hand, resting on her hand.
joyce hooks your fingers together and just looks at you, with pure affection. like everything else is spinning but her world is only you.
“you wanna get some cotton candy?” joyce asks after your turn at the cups end, spotting one of the stands nearby. you hook one arm around her waist end nod vigorously. karen and holly join in as well.
“i think we’ll head out after this.” karen says to joyce as she pays for the candy. joyce nods with a smile and you just watch her. she looks at ease after a very long time, the creases around her eyes softening at the vision of you so happy, next to her. she wore that red striped flannel today and it almost matches the tint of her cheeks when she hands over you the cotton candy.
you say your goodbyes to karen and holly, both of them hugging you tight. “take care of your girl now.” karen whispers right before grabbing holly’s hand, just for the two of you to hear. and with that they turn around, holly handing a piece of the candy to her mom who takes it with mirth.
“they look so happy together.” you say, eyes forward, not noticing the way joyce is looking at you. she just hums silently, “common sweetheart.” she takes your hand in hers, “the fireworks are about to start. maybe we can catch them.”
the line in the ferris wheel is shorter than you expect. it feels even shorter when joyce feeds you what’s left of the cotton candy with her hands. it makes you blush a deeper color, sweating a bit at the neck. the employee in charge of the line settles the two of you in a singular boot and just like that the wheel is turning. going higher and higher by the minute you try not to look down too much. is this a bad time to tell joyce you might be afraid of heights?
just when the ferris is about to reach the top, it comes to a halt. you gasp, hesitant to reach for joyce. but she’s already quick to catch on the way you’ve been acting. her hand finds yours on top of the seat, lacing your fingers together. “what’s wrong angel?” her voice gives you some of the comfort you’re looking for but it’s too much. the height. the dizziness. everything beneath. you tug your body closer to joyce and she wraps an am over your shoulder, her hand resting near your neck.
“is my sweet girl afraid of heights?” her voice is half teasing but half worrisome. you can’t blame her. it’s a bit embarrassing. you nod nonetheless and joyce coos. “oh baby… it’s okay, i’m here. and we’ve only stopped to see the fireworks, huh? don’t focus on anything else.” that’s when a fireworks blooms in the sky, creating a halo of light, a mixture of color and you watch in awe. “yeah baby, just like that. see how beautiful it is?” her hand starts rubbing slow circles into your back, your arm and you can feel your heart rate slow down. another firework pops up, followed by tons of others in beautiful colors and you forget where you are momentarily.
you feel joyce’s lips press kisses on the crown of your head, in your hair and she breaths in. you laugh giddily just as the ride gets moving. “annddd there we go.” joyce hugs you closer to her side and you bury your face into the crook of her neck. her skin is so soft there, so soothing. you don’t take your eyes away till the wheel comes to a stop one last time and you step out, finally meeting the ground.
joyce holds your shoulders steadily, searching for your eyes. you exhale shakily and meet her gaze. “why didn’t you tell me before sweetheart?” joyce asks but you only gulp. “we’ll talk about it back home, okay?” you nod in response and let joyce lead you to the parking area.
·˚ ༘
back at home and you’re getting ready for bed. joyce teased you about your fear way less than you expected her to. she was just so- understanding it made you question everything you knew about life.
you’re feeling extra soft and extra tired so you just turn to joyce with a pout. she understands immediately, her big brown eyes softening. “does the little girl need help changing?” her voice is warm and smooth, like honey grazing your skin.
you just nod in response and lift up your arms. joyce lets out a playful huff and shuffles around the room, looking for your sleep clothes. you whine as she keeps you waiting but joyce is making a point. “patience sweet girl.”
joyce moves around your bedroom like she knows every nook and cranny. her rolled up sleeves showing off her forearms as she opens one drawer and closes another, her fussed brown hair framing around her face, her bangs all facing a different way. she looks peaceful.
finally joyce stand in front of you with both of your clothes. she tugs out your shirt slowly and puts on a softer one for sleep. the fabric is soft against your skin and smells like detergent and something so joyce.
joyce pats your thigh lightly, “scoot up honey. lets take this off too.” you stand up and help joyce in taking off your pants. you sigh softly as she slides each foot through your pajama pants. once all dressed you sit back on the comforter and wait for joyce to get changed. “so,” she speaks, “i’m not going to push you baby.” her voice is so soft it might just be the death of you. “but i think you should’ve told me that you were afraid of heights before we decided to go up on a ferris wheel.”
you tuck your chin away in shame and mumble, “sorry joy- i didn’t mean to, ‘m sorry,”
joyce just cups your face in between her palms and you look up. “no need to be sorry sweet girl.” she hums and you look into her eyes, entranced. “it’s not your fault. it’s no one’s fault.” she motions for you to get up on the bed now.
you settle under the covers and joyce follows suit, her arms cradling you now. “just let me know about stuff like this, okay?” her eyes are that rich tone again, deep and tired. you nod in acceptance. “that’s my smart girl.” joyce says, her fingers stroking the top of your cheek.
“now. how’s your stomach feeling?”
“full.” you respond. “but happy. ‘m okay.” you mumble again, eyes shying away. joyce pulls you in for a comfortable position to sleep in. your eyes close on their own as both hands cradle in between your chests.
“don’t get and get sick on me, okay sweet girl?” joyce’s voice washes over you, putting you into a state close to sleep. your mumbles get drowsy and the feeling of joyce’s hands drawing patterns against your back is making it harder to stay awake. you try to respond, tell something but only incoherent words leave your mouth.
“shhh…” joyce says, “i love you too sweetie. you can go to sleep now. i’ve got you.” that’s the last thing you hear before peaceful sleep takes you in.