Work Text:
Does a lonely person know they are alone?
Does a lonely person listen to the screeching and screaming voices in their head to ease the emptiness they feel?
Does a lonely person tear their heart open when someone tries to love them?
Can a lonely person love someone so much that they no longer feel alone?
Can someone so deep in love realize that it is tearing them apart?
Is love fun?
Is love vain?
How can you love?
What is love?
Why do we love?
Am I in love?
Love…
I've felt all kinds of love—love for and from my parents, my big brother. Love for and love from Andy, my music, my fans, my unit, and my friends.
I've felt all kinds of love… all except yours.
I loved you more than I could’ve imagined. I feel love has breezed through my hands as I declared them to you in the guise of notes, coffee, and madeleines.
Can love be oblivious? I’ve always thought it was cute, beautiful, and pure. Oh, so pure.
At what point can love be considered a curse? Was it when you held my hands? Or when you told me you loved my music? How can you throw love away so easily but leave me behind? Is it because I am a child? Would your feelings change if I were born at the same time as you?
When will you glance at me and tell me, scream at me that you love me? Should I tear my heart open and give it to you? My heart beats…no, it screams your name.
I curse love. I curse the world for making me feel all kinds of love but yours. I curse the world for making me born too late for you to look at me, to love ME.
I curse… you, and yet, I love you.
I love you so much it makes me insane. Is it possible?
If love is pure, beautiful, and kind… then why do I curse the world—your world, when I’m not in it?
If love is pure, beautiful, and kind… then why am I not given the chance to be loved by you?
If love is pure, beautiful, and kind… then why do I feel lonely?
I’m not alone… that I know of. You’re here, walking with me, late at night. You should be holding my hands, I loved you after all. Under the moon, under the broken lamp post, you should’ve professed your love. Instead, you look at me like and remind me that I am nothing but a child to you.
I want your love… love more than what you give, after all, I love you.
I really love you… Therefore, I curse your world without me, but this is a dream I’ll wake to.
So when I wake up… please love me.