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// I’m finally walking outside with Ira properly. Yay!! I feel kinda nervous, though… does she not feel nervous? I look up at her—
“What?” “N—Nothing!!”, I responded quickly. “Huh.” She said in response. Was that dismissal or internal note-taking? Well, I hope it wasn’t negative…
Anyway, back on the point— she looks pretty confident. What should I say? What should I do? It’s awkward. Really. Really. Awkward. And how hard am I blushing—? Goodness, I’d melt all the snow in Vorkuta-5 if I were to transfer that warmth everywhere. No, the whole Komi Republic! All of the Union! The world, the universe, eve—
“…Why are you blushing so hard. I know this is a date but you shouldn’t be that embarrassed. You’re still a weirdo, Asya.”
—E-Eh?! So, I was right!! It is a date, even from her perspective!!
“U-Uh, don’t mind me…”, I responded and looked away. The apartment block on the left was suddenly really interesting. In fact, the walls themselves are interesting quite a bit. Now that I notice it… I’ve never expected it to actually be that interesting. So interesting. —Why do I keep repeating the same words!! I’ve gotta calm down…
“I can’t but mind it when your cheeks look like they could warm up all of Vorkuta-5’s snow.” —How does she read my thoughts?!
“W—Well, I can’t do anything about it, especially when you’re so pretty—“ —Did I just say that?!! Why?? WHY?! Ira… Goodness… I’m so sorry Ira for those filthy words that just came out of my mouth please forgive me please I know you won’t but please do please please pleas—
“I could’ve guessed. I can’t deny you’re pretty too. And although you are a weirdo… I still went out on a date with you. That might mean things.” —Oh. Nevermind. Maybe I was too harsh on myself. But— she called me pretty back!!! Isn’t that cute?!!
“Are you actually serious..? Not to be rud—“ “Duh. Why wouldn’t I be. Wanna go somewhere else than a public street and kiss or hug or whatever. Like your place.”
…
…
…
—Uhm. I can’t help but agree… Guh. —WHAAH—?! Well, my point still stands.
“O-Okay!!”
We walk to my apartment after. I look at the ground the entire time but feel her gaze. I wonder what she thought when she saw how hard I looked down from embarrassment. Why am I even doing this… You can still stop me, you know. Slay me. Tear me apart into a million little pieces and chunks. Why not?—
“…I didn’t take you for a lesbo. Too bad, I guess… Did you read American romance or what.” —No... No, I don’t think I have— “No, not at all!! It’s just that… yeah, you’re pretty…. I guess..” I could’ve given a better answer. I could’ve been just a bit louder. That’s all I can do though, because I’m so flustered!!
We made it to my place a few minutes after. My parents weren’t there anyway, so it was kinda perfect this time around. As I wanted to sit down on the chair, I first feel hands on my cheeks, then lips on mine. So, this is how it feels…
…
…
—WHAAH?! WHY AM I DOING THIS?! Well, I better enjoy this before you tear me apart. You could’ve done it before. Why not now? Why not cause her dissatisfaction for the irreversible sin? Why. Not. Anyway. I start enjoying it, and then she pulls away from the kiss. As I finally look up into her clear, blue eyes, then at her full face, I notice how genuinely flustered however gorgeous she is. She hugs me then, a bit too hard, a bi—
“Waagh—“ …Guh. We fell down onto the couch. More like crashed. She sure loves me a lot. And hard. Well, anyway. Her arms feel so warm and I got this tingly feeling all over my body but also this thingy you get down in your stomach when you get scared - I feel as if I want to pull away, but… I won’t, because it feels good with the person I now love. This is much better than what I’ve felt before. Thank you, Ira. I’ll repeat it a thousand times. Thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you than—
I notice her smile. Reddened cheeks. Blue eyes The genuine love in it all. Then, after this long, I finally smile back.
“Thank you, Ira.” //