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Rocket had been curled up tightly on his bed for what felt like hours now. He felt as if his whole body were about to kill him— or trying to at least. The cramps in his lower stomach were almost unbearable and he simply could not muster up the strength to pull himself out of his position to grab some painkillers, so he just gave up.
As he stayed there curled up, Rocket felt his eyes burn up and well with tears out of pure frustration. It's not fair. He’s a boy, why does he have to deal with this?
Once every month Rocket always had the same thoughts and the same experience. It made his stomach churn, knowing his body did this on its own, against his will. Betraying him. It made him feel as though he wasn’t a real boy. Rocket started to cry more as the dysphoria hit him like a truck. He sobbed however it only made him feel worse- and much more angry at himself. At his body. So with nowhere to place said anger, Rocket started to hit himself, punching and scratching at his own skin— trying everything to get it away but to no avail. Nothing was relieving the crawling discomfort that engulfed him.
The pain only got worse as time stretched on. He just wanted some relief— some comfort. He just wanted Sword…
..No. He wouldn’t ask anyone for help, not even his own boyfriend. He could deal with this himself, no need to burden anyone else with this. With him.
A few minutes passed and the constant cramping and aches in his body never let up. He had begun to feel nauseous by this point and curled up further into himself, whining in pain and being too exhausted to sob anymore. He felt so disgusted with himself. Sweaty, sticky, gross and tired— wallowing in self pity.
He didn't know what to do.
Utterly miserable, Rocket reached for his phone and started to write to the only person he knew could make him feel better, Sword.
He hated asking for help— especially when it came to something like this. Something he felt so powerless up against, his own body. Being vulnerable was his biggest fear, but Rocket knew he was not far away from really hurting himself and relapsing at this rate, so he reached out and asked for help instead, just like Sword constantly reminds him to do.
He flicked Sword a short and messy text, asking him to come over.
He was of course met with an almost immediate reply.
“On my way!”
Rocket's lips curved up the tiniest bit at the reply. Gods, his boyfriend could always make him feel better even with the tiniest amount of effort. He sniffled, feeling ever so emotional now.
Soon enough, a series of taps were heard on the door as Sword politely knocked. When he got no reply he just came in. It wasn't unusual, the two frequently just showed up at one another's places at random, being close enough to do so. Sword looked around and made his way up to Rocket's bedroom.
“Rocket? You in here?” He pliqued, knocking on the door even though it was already open.
Rocket only replied with a hum, not having the strength to say much. Sword stepped in and immediately his gaze softened at the sight of his lover in so much pain. He had suspected it was the time of month as he tracks it himself so as to take extra care of Rocket whenever he needs it.
“Oh Rocket..” Sword mumbled gently as he made his way over to the bed. He sat down and rubbed rockets back softly. He frowned. Seeing his boyfriend in this much pain made him feel terrible.
Rocket just hid his head in the pillow, feeling too ashamed to even meet eyes with Sword. He was just so angry with himself. Angry with everything- and the only way he could let that anger out that wasn’t through violence was through tears, which didn't help the matter.
So Rocket started to cry once more, trying to stop it at first but to no avail. The tears just started pouring out faster the more he tried to hold back. Sword leaned down and helped Rocket up into his arms, not once forcing him to make eye contact. He let rocket cry into his chest and held his head snugly, raking his fingers through his hair.
“M’ s.. sorry.” Rocket managed to get out in between sobs.
Sword furrowed his brows and held him a little closer.
“Sorry for what? You didn’t do anything wrong.”
Rocket sniffled and wiped his eyes, attempting to stop his tears once again. “For- crying. being such a- fucking burden.” He mumbled.
Sword glanced at him and planted a small kiss on his head. “You’re not a burden to me. Ever. What about all the times I've cried to you? You don’t call me a burden for getting upset.”
Rocket shook his head. “That’s different.”
“How?”
…
Rocket didn’t answer, of course he didn’t— there was nothing to say to that. It really was no different.. It just felt like it to Rocket because of his crippling fear of vulnerability. It only got him consequences in the past, and he hasn’t quite let that go. Sword sighed and upturned his lips just ever so slightly at Rockets silence, knowing he had gotten through.
After a few minutes of laying there together in comforting silence, Sword shifts and gently wipes Rockets tears away, facing him and speaking up.
“I’m gonna go getcha some stuff, make you feel a little less miserable, yeah?” He says while softly rubbing his thumb on his boyfriend's cheek.
Rocket nods, soaking up the last of Swords warmth before he gets up and leaves the room. His absence immediately unsettled Rocket. He was really quite clingy, yet he’d never ever show it. Sword somehow always knew though. He always does.
Meanwhile while Rocket was drowning in his thoughts, Sword was rushing around the house, grabbing a bunch of things he knew made his boyfriend feel better. He started off with running a bath, then grabbed a lot of sweets, then went to get a hot water bottle, a blanket and some water. He came back and spread the blanket over the bed and set the other items aside.
“Cmon.. a bath will make you feel better my love.” He said softly, already helping Rocket out of the bed, knowing he’d been in there all day. The two made their way to the bathroom and Sword sat Rocket by the tub.
Rocket just sat there, arms crossed tightly over his chest.
“..Would it help if i got in there with you?” Sword asked.
Rocket nodded, feeling insecure. Vulnerability.
Sword helped rocket to undress, gently instructing him to lift his shirt and helping him remove his prosthetics. Soon they both managed to get into the tub, Rocket still hugging his chest tightly even as Sword massaged his sore back.
Sword looked up, taking notice of Rockets obvious discomfort with himself— specifically his chest it seemed. He pressed a small kiss to Rockets shoulderblade and continued his little massage.
“So handsome.” He mumbled against the others back.
The masculine leaning praise lifted a little weight off of Rockets shoulders. Gods.. Sword always seemed to know what to say. He always seemed to know what he was feeling too.
After some time, Rocket made the choice to drop the hand hiding his chest and reached over to gently grab Sword's hand, holding it for comfort as he washed his body. Revealing one of his biggest insecurities like that was a huge step for Rocket, and Sword knew, having planted a small kiss on his shoulder when he did it.
Rocket closed his eyes and just focused on Swords hand on his, and the one working on his back and he swears he nearly falls asleep.
He eyes are drooping when Sword taps him on the shoulder, before carefully helping him out of the tub.
Next moment, Rocket is getting a towel wrapped around him and is being dressed by Sword. in his favourite comfort clothes too. Sword knew him too well. Soon enough the two were both dry and dressed, back in the bedroom and under a soft blanket. Rocket indulged himself in sweets as Sword glued his eyes to the show they were watching.
Sword glanced at Rocket, his head being slumped on Swords chest as he stroked though his short hair. “Painkillers helping?” He mumbled.
Sword only received a small hum from Rocket, so he assumed yes.
As Sword laid his eyes on Rocket he felt overwhelmed with all the care he had for the inphernal. He held so much love for him, he couldn’t help but show it.
He leant down and planted a bunch of kisses on Rockets neck and face, littering them over all his freckles and scars. The sensation drew small giggles and chuckles from him. Eventually the very physical expression of love got a little too much for the Rocketeer.
“O-okay that’s enough-” He said with a smile creeping up on his face.
Sword grinned, giving a few more kisses before finally pulling away, fixing a strand of Rockets hair.
"I love you.” Sword mumbled, gently stroking the other's hair again.
Rocket nuzzled even further into Swords chest.. if that was even possible.
“I love you too.”
A comfortable silence surrounded the two as they huddled together, soaking up one another’s warmth. rockets breathing evened out into slow steady breaths as he finally succumbed to sleep in his lovers arms.