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Rhodey had faced alien invasions, rogue AIs, and government panels that felt more dangerous than either—but nothing, absolutely nothing, prepared him for the text message he received at 7:42 a.m. on a perfectly normal Tuesday.
TONY:
Hey. Need a favor.
Rhodey squinted at the message while stirring his coffee. Tony Stark asking for a “favor” was already a red flag. Tony didn’t do small favors. Tony did world-altering requests wrapped in casual phrasing.
RHODEY:
Define “favor.”
Three dots appeared. Disappeared. Appeared again.
TONY:
Pick up my kid from school at 3. I’ll explain later.
Rhodey stared at the screen.
Then he blinked.
Then he reread it.
Then he nearly dropped his mug.
My kid.
Tony Stark—genius billionaire, former playboy, current chaos magnet—had a kid?
Rhodey typed, erased, retyped, then finally just called.
Tony didn’t pick up.
Instead, another message popped up.
TONY:
Can’t talk. Boarding. You’re on uncle duty. Address attached.
Uncle duty.
Rhodey leaned back slowly in his chair, processing the information like it was a faulty weapons system.
“Tony has a kid,” he muttered.
He paused.
“…Tony has a kid.”
And then, because life clearly wasn’t ridiculous enough, another message followed.
TONY:
Don’t freak out.
Too late.
At exactly 2:55 p.m., Rhodey stood outside Midtown School of Science and Technology, wearing sunglasses and trying to look like he didn’t command military hardware for a living.
Kids poured out of the building in loud, chaotic waves. Laughter, chatter, the occasional argument—normal teenage life. Completely different from the battlefield
Rhodey was used to.
He checked his phone again.
TONY:
Kid’s name is Peter Parker. Skinny. Smart. Looks like me, but better hair.
Rhodey snorted. “That narrows it down to half the population.”
Then he saw him.
A lanky kid with messy brown hair, a backpack slung over one shoulder, and a face that—Rhodey’s brain stalled for a second—looked like someone had taken Tony Stark and hit “reduce to 16 years old.”
Same eyes.
Same expression.
Same attitude in the way he walked.
The kid stopped, scanned the area, and then his gaze landed directly on Rhodey.
“…You’re Colonel Rhodes,” the kid said, approaching cautiously.
Rhodey lowered his sunglasses. “And you’re Peter.”
Peter nodded. “Yeah.”
They stared at each other for a moment.
Rhodey crossed his arms. “You gonna tell me why I just found out Tony Stark has a kid through a text message?”
Peter winced. “Uh… he’s not great with timing.”
“That’s putting it mildly.”
Peter shifted awkwardly. “So… you’re picking me up?”
Rhodey exhaled. “Apparently I am. And apparently I’m your uncle now.”
Peter blinked. “…Wait, what?”
“Don’t ask me,” Rhodey said, turning toward the car. “I got promoted without consent.”
The drive home was… enlightening.
“So,” Rhodey said, glancing sideways, “how long has this been a thing?”
Peter scratched the back of his neck. “Um… my whole life?”
Rhodey nearly swerved.
“Your whole life?!”
Peter quickly added, “It’s complicated!”
“I’m sure it is,” Rhodey muttered.
“Because from my perspective, Tony just unlocked a secret level of chaos I didn’t know existed.”
Peter smiled sheepishly. “Yeah… that sounds like him.”
Rhodey sighed. “Does the world know?”
Peter shook his head immediately. “No. No one. Just… a few people.”
“Let me guess—Pepper.”
“Yeah.”
“Happy?”
“Yep .. also Aunt May and Ned my best friend"
There was a pause.
Then Rhodey asked, casually, “Anything else I should know?”
Peter hesitated.
“…I’m Spider-Man.”
Rhodey slammed the brakes.
The car screeched to a halt.
They sat in silence.
Rhodey turned his head very slowly.
“…Say that again.”
Peter swallowed. “I’m Spider-Man.”
Rhodey stared at him.
Then he leaned back in his seat.
Then he laughed.
Not a small laugh. A full, disbelieving, “of course this is happening” kind of laugh.
“Of course you are,” Rhodey said. “Why wouldn’t you be? That tracks. That makes perfect sense in this insane universe.”
Peter gave a nervous smile. “You’re… not mad?”
Rhodey shook his head. “Kid, I’ve fought aliens. You being Spider-Man barely cracks the top ten weirdest things in my week.”
He paused.
“…But if you get hurt on my watch, your dad will kill me.”
Peter nodded seriously. “Yeah, that sounds accurate.”
****************
Day one of “Uncle Rhodey Duty” started with optimism.
It ended with Rhodey standing in the kitchen at midnight, watching Peter hang upside down from the ceiling while doing homework.
“I’m not even gonna question it anymore,” Rhodey said.
Peter, upside down, shrugged. “It helps me focus.”
“Sure it does.”
Rhodey crossed his arms. “You eat dinner like that too?”
Peter grinned. “Sometimes.”
Rhodey pointed. “No. Not in my watch. Gravity exists for a reason.”
Peter dropped down smoothly onto the chair. “Fair.”
Rhodey watched him for a moment.
“You’re… a good kid,” he said.
Peter blinked, surprised. “Thanks.”
“Don’t let Tony ruin that.”
Peter laughed. “I’ll try.”
********************
Day two was where things got… stressful.
It started with a phone call from Happy.
“Hey, Rhodey,” Happy said. “Everything good?”
“Define good,” Rhodey replied, watching Peter try to fix a toaster using what looked like Stark-level engineering.
“He hasn’t blown anything up, right?”
Right on cue, sparks flew.
Rhodey closed his eyes. “We’re… working through some things.”
Happy chuckled. “Sounds about right.”
Rhodey lowered his voice. “Why didn’t anyone tell me?”
“Tony’s call,” Happy said. “He trusts you. That’s why you’re here.”
Rhodey looked at Peter, who was now proudly holding a fully upgraded toaster.
“…Yeah,” he said quietly. “I get it.”
Later that day, Rhodey made the mistake of asking Peter a simple question.
“So what do you do after school?”
Peter froze.
“…Homework?”
Rhodey narrowed his eyes. “And?”
Peter hesitated.
“And… friendly neighborhood stuff.”
Rhodey groaned. “You mean crime-fighting.”
Peter shrugged. “Sometimes.”
“Nope,” Rhodey said immediately. “Not happening.”
Peter blinked. “What?”
“Tony left you in my care. That means no running around rooftops fighting criminals.”
Peter opened his mouth to argue.
Rhodey raised a hand. “Non-negotiable.”
Peter deflated. “…Okay.”
Rhodey nodded, satisfied.
Exactly three hours later, Peter’s phone buzzed.
Ned.
NED:
Dude there’s a robbery two blocks away.
Peter glanced at Rhodey.
Rhodey stared back.
“…Don’t even think about it.”
Peter sighed dramatically.
“This is the worst uncle experience ever.”
Rhodey smirked. “Welcome to responsibility.”
******************
Day three was chaos.
Absolute, undeniable chaos.
It started when Rhodey walked into the living room and found Peter missing.
“Peter?” he called.
No response.
Rhodey frowned.
Then he heard it.
A faint thwip sound from the ceiling.
He looked up.
Peter was stuck to the chandelier.
“…I can explain,” Peter said.
Rhodey blinked. “I’m listening.”
“…I was testing something.”
“With the chandelier?”
“…It was already there?”
Rhodey rubbed his temples. “Tony owes me. Big time.”
That afternoon, things escalated.
A call came through.
Emergency frequency.
Rhodey answered immediately.
“Rhodes here.”
“Colonel, we’ve got a situation downtown—armed robbery escalating, possible hostages.”
Rhodey’s instincts kicked in.
He turned to Peter.
Peter was already looking at him.
They both knew.
Rhodey hesitated.
Then he sighed.
“…Suit up.”
Peter’s eyes lit up. “Really?!”
“This doesn’t leave this room,” Rhodey said. “And you follow my lead. Understood?”
Peter nodded quickly. “Yes, sir!”
Rhodey smirked. “Don’t call me sir. Makes me feel old.”
The mission was fast, messy, and surprisingly effective.
Rhodey handled the heavy threats.
Peter handled everything else.
Webbing weapons. Saving civilians. Cracking jokes mid-fight.
“Is that your uncle?” one of the criminals shouted.
Peter dodged a blast. “Technically temporary!”
Rhodey blasted through a wall. “Focus, kid!”
Within minutes, it was over.
Hostages safe.
Criminals down.
Minimal damage.
Rhodey landed beside Peter.
“…Not bad.”
Peter beamed. “Really?”
“Don’t let it go to your head.”
“Too late.”
That night, they sat in the quiet aftermath.
Pizza boxes on the table.
TV playing softly.
“You did good today,” Rhodey said.
Peter smiled. “So did you.”
Rhodey chuckled. “I’ve had more practice.”
There was a pause.
“…You remind me of him,” Rhodey added.
Peter looked down. “I get that a lot.”
Rhodey shook his head. “Not just the looks. The heart.”
Peter’s expression softened.
“Just… don’t make his mistakes,” Rhodey said.
Peter nodded. “I won’t.”
The next morning, the front door opened.
Tony Stark walked in, followed by Pepper.
“Miss me?” Tony said.
Rhodey stood up slowly.
Then he punched Tony in the arm.
“OW—what was that for?!”
“For not telling me you had a kid!”
Tony rubbed his arm. “I was going to!”
“When? After college?!”
Pepper stepped in, smiling. “How was everything?”
Rhodey looked at Peter.
Peter gave a small, hopeful smile.
Rhodey sighed.
“…Stressful,” he said. “Loud. Slightly illegal at times.”
Tony grinned. “So, a normal week?”
Rhodey shook his head.
Then, despite himself, he smiled.
“…Yeah,” he admitted. “A normal week.”
Peter walked over to Tony and hug him tightly.
“Hey, Dad.”
Tony's expression softened.
“Hey, Bambino”
Rhodey watched them.
Then he crossed his arms.
“…You know,” he said, “I didn’t sign up for this.”
Tony smirked. “Too late. You’re family now.”
Rhodey rolled his eyes.
“…Yeah,” he said.
And somehow—
He didn’t mind at all.