Archive of Our Own

1684, December 21st, Home — I met a boy. He refuses to tell me his name, and nobody refers to him as anything other than derogatory names I do not feel the need to learn. I've taken to calling him Star, or Stars. I think he'd like them. Why is he stuck, unable to see the beauty of the regular world, while arrogant narcissistic creatures roam free? I do not want to grow close to him, but I can't find it in myself to walk away. I will burn him with the rest of them. . . . . - Kotao

First of all, Kotao didn't even know his name.

Maybe that was the first sign that their relationship would never be one that was considered normal, but even then Kotao wasn't really sure how well he'd fare in one of those.

Everyone Kotao knew (which wasn't many people, mind you), treated Kotao with a certain glare and weariness that he'd grown used to.

He'd grown used to being revered, as well.

Even when he was a kid, roaming mud ridden streets for somewhere to sleep, he was looked at with familiar disdain.

He knew he wasn't normal, and he was fine with that.

Well, he wasn't, not actually. At least not until his half-soul jammed it into his brain that he was meant to be different.

He still would rather fade into nothingness than have to give another speech in front of those who revered him.

But maybe this boy would understand that.

Kotao had been traveling. He'd gotten bored, and angry, and maybe a little bit fearful, so he left Home. After the first time, he just kept leaving. It wasn't like anyone other than his half-soul could stop him, anyway, and she didn't care what he got up to. Right now, Kotao was supposed to be in his sleeping quarters repeating scriptures until he was mumbling them in his ever restless sleep.

That sounded boring, and he was sick of boring.

Technically, that's how Kotao ended up 5 thousand miles from home.

If you asked anyone else, they'd tell you that a see'r was making his rounds and making sure everything was up to code.

A strong yet young voice shook him awake.

"Who are you?" The boy in front of him asked, fisting his robes tightly in what was probably nervousness.

It made Kotao giggle. A boy, far out from where he was supposed to be, got nervous now?

"I'm me, who are you?" Kotao responded, stretching his head to see if anyone was behind the boy. There wasn't. He was alone in the dark, snowy woods. If not for Kotao, they'd be far too cold out here to survive.

The boy wasn't in color, of course. Nothing was. Such was the curse of the Realms. He was wearing warm robes, indicating that this Realm had the sense to alter their robes to fit the weather. He also seemed to have some type of ears underneath his hood.

He's probably a hybrid of some sort. And he was taller than Kotao. Embarrassing. Weren't Feline hybrids supposed to be short?

"Those robes.. you're a see'r, right? From the West?"

"You didn't answer my question."

"I asked first."

The boy was amusing, Kotao would give him that. He didn't seem to notice through his nervousness that Kotao wasn't taking this seriously. Kotao held a hand up to his mouth to hide his growing smile.

"Well, I think I am. Do you think I am?"

The boy scowled, and let go of his robes to cross his arms. Maybe Kotao should stop teasing.

"You don't look like a see'r."

"Haha, is it my eyes?" Kotao responded, pointing to them.

Kotao was different in many ways, but the most obvious was his appearance.

He'd been a freak accident, as the village people used to say. Or, well, they said it with their flowy words and weird language. He didn't look normal, and there was no real reason he'd been born this way. His hair, instead of a dark black like it should be, was a bright white. His eyes, which should be a glowing teal that deemed him a see'r, were lacking pigment all together.

The only reason he'd been found and given his title was because of his half-soul, who'd gained her memory as soon as she set foot in Home. He did too, of course, but he was much older. 12? 14? How old was he now? What year was it?

"Yes. Why are they different?" The boy questioned, tilting his head in curiosity and tilting his ears forward. Kotao felt inclined to mirror his body language, but held back.

Most people didn't like it when Kotao mirrored them, but he couldn't really help it. He'd been able to hold off this far.

He didn't really want to answer this boy. He didn't know him, and he shouldn't try to. This place will be gone soon, anyway— what's the point? Kotao sighed, and decided to deflect.

"Shouldn't I be asking you why you're so far from the church?"

The boy seemed shocked back into where he was, and what he was doing. He hesitated, dropping his arms before meeting Kotao's gaze.

"Right. Okay."

Kotao hummed, and looked around.

Usually, when he entered a new realm, he entered in the Church. The Church itself was a gateway, which was the main reason Kotao was able to burn down all the realms so quickly. This time, though, he'd ended up pretty far out in the forest.

All the Realms had a forest of some sort, but this one seemed exceptionally larger than what Kotao was used to at Home. The trees stretched so far up that they seemed to disappear, and the snow blinded everything around them.

Not that that was a problem. Kotao, ever since he'd gained his memories back, had started to glow. It freaked most people out, but this boy hadn't mentioned it yet.

Kotao fished out his compass, and did a spin or two to find North.

"That won't help you here," the boy spoke up timidly, despite his earlier confidence. Maybe he'd realized exactly what Kotao was. It was slightly disappointing.

"All the churches are North," Kotao explained despite himself, "at least on my compass."

"Oh. The church is South from here," the boy murmured, pointing in the opposite direction that Kotao's compass pointed.

Kotao stared at the boy. Had he gotten turned around? Usually, Kotao would immediately question himself, but he knew his compass couldn't be wrong. His compass pointed to the point with the most power, and that would be the Church.

The feline seemed to notice Kotao was staring at him, and tilted his head again. Kotao mirrored him, unable to keep himself from doing so.

It made the boy crack a curious smile, and watched as Kotao mirrored his further movements— a tilt of his head to the opposite side, a raise of his hand.

Kotao broke out of his focus when the boy began to giggle, and he cleared his throat:

"I know that you're wrong," Kotao began. The boy stopped giggling to listen. "My compass points towards the Church, it has the most power sealed there."

The boy looked disappointed, but wasn't discouraged.

"I came from that way, though," he insisted, "I know. I followed the river."

Kotao sighed, exasperated, "are you sure? I can't waste time here."

This was a lot more trouble than it was worth. Kotao shouldn't be entertaining this boy, and should be trusting his gut. He really couldn't spend too much time here lest he get attached.

He could leave the boy here. He would probably freeze to death.

Typically, Kotao would have abandoned him ages ago. Now, though, he was far too interested in what would happen if he stayed with this boy. Followed him back to where he came.

The snow around them had begun to melt from the heat Kotao was emitting, and the boy had subconsciously moved closer to the warmth. Kotao grimaced, not wanting any close contact from anyone, let alone a curious boy he found in the woods.

"Yes," the boy said with conviction, "I'm sure."

Kotao scowled, and looked down at his compass again. If this boy was lying to him —or wrong in any way— he was going to be the first to go.

He pocketed his compass in his robes, and motioned for the boy to lead the way back. The boy hesitated.

"What?" Kotao asked, annoyed, "let's go back."

The boy shook his head and clenched his fists in frustration, "no."

"No?" Kotao scoffed, and crossed his arms, "you'd be dead out here without me, you know. Should I leave you, then?"

"Yes," the boy spat, turning around. Kotao sighed.

The boy began to walk away, and Kotao (for reasons still not clear to him to this day) panicked. He shot his hand out, gripping the boys wrist tightly. The boy let out a pained gasp, and Kotao quickly let go after pulling him back into his vicinity.

The cloth around the boys wrist had been burnt through, and his wrist was slightly burned— luckily Kotao let go quick enough.

"Shit!" Kotao said hurriedly, taking a step away from the feline.

Both boys were panting and panicking for separate reasons. The boy because he'd just been burned by a See'r, and Kotao because he'd touched someone— something he specifically refused to do.

"What— what did you do?" The boy questioned, gripping his arm too tightly and wincing at the pain. He looked to be close to tears, but didn't seem.. afraid. More curious and startled by the sudden change.

"Do- don't get close to me," Kotao rushed out, "you need to get back to the Church."

"No!" The boy shouted, "I'm not going back!"

Fuck. This wasn't going at all how he'd planned. He was supposed to be out of here quickly, leaving no traces that he'd even been here in the first place. Now, he'd met a boy in the woods who he didn't even know the name of but felt a strange pull from. He'd managed to get past Kotao's facade with a couple questions, and though that wasn't catastrophic, that wasn't good either.

Not only that, but he was starting to get angrier than he needed to be, and this boy wouldn't survive that.

Kotao took a deep breath and unclenched his hand.

"Why? You will die out here."

The boy got annoyed quickly, "I know that. I don't care, I'm not going back to them. They don't understand."

"So you have a death wish? That doesn't matter to me, you're going back," Kotao spoke sternly, leaving what would be no room for rejection if he was with anyone else.

"They hate me," the boy explained, trying to convince Kotao to let him stay, "they don't want me there."

Kotao tilted his head, "I am a See'r, they will listen to me."

The boy shook his head, and looked a little confused when Kotao mirrored his movements again. Kotao stamped that curiosity down with a sarcastic lilt of his brow.

"When you leave, they will hate me again."

"Are you questioning me?"

The boys eyes widened, and he shook his head quickly in protest, "no, no, of course not."

Kotao scoffed, and crossed his arms again, "you're allowed to. Stop treating me like I'm a god."

"Huh?" The boy's eyes widened, "are you not?"

Kotao scowled, he hated this type of conversation. No matter how much he told people at Home to quit it, they wouldn't. One second they revered him, and would listen to every word he uttered— the next, they'd beat him to a pulp for the sake of a 'safe, newer world'. Whatever that meant to them, anyway. Their words were often as confusing as the stupid, proper, flowy language regular humans spoke.

"Technically, I'm the same as you," Kotao sighed, and looked everywhere but the boys eyes. They were pretty, even if Kotao knew they'd look better with color.

The boy chuckled softly, and held up his hurt wrist, "evidently not."

Kotao rolled his eyes and scoffed again. At least this was better than formality, even if the boy was annoying.

"I will change their opinion on you," he deflected, "I need to leave soon anyway."

Honestly, Kotao had no intention of doing that. The Realm would be burnt to a crisp in an hour at most.

The boys face dropped, dawning a reluctant curiosity. Kotao fought the urge to roll his eyes again. Did mortals usually tempt such long talks?

"Why are you helping me?" He murmured, turning away from Kotao.

Curiosity was annoying. No wonder the rest of this boy's Church hated him.

"Because I've already gone this far to turn you around," Kotao said with an even tone, despite himself.

The boy sighed, "okay."

He turned back towards Kotao, and held out his hand— the wrist that Kotao had burned not 2 minutes earlier. Kotao became confused, and raised a questioning brow.

"Take my hand."

"I'll burn you," Kotao scoffed incredulously, gesturing towards his wrist.

"Not if you don't want to," the boy smiled.

1689, August 17th, Home— I'm back here again. I feel like I've been spending less and less time here as the years go on.. my half-soul is getting annoyed. I don't care. She keeps saying we're going to get caught. Natura hasn't noticed this long, and doesn't seem to even care— why would she start now? I'm going to keep going back. Maybe I can convince Stars to move this time. If he stops ignoring me again. . . . . - Kotao

"Would you just quit it?" Kotao complained, crossing his arms and leaning back in his chair. The chair itself was horridly uncomfortable, but that was common for most of Home's… everything. Beds, chairs, pews... people.

There were too many citizens, and See'rs didn't get much special treatment except for when they benefited the Church.

His sister (if you could use that term, and use it very lightly and with vitriol,) stood behind him in his sleeping quarters. He'd been sitting at his desk writing for the past handful of hours. Nothing lit the stone room other than the candles he'd lit on his desk earlier— and himself. Kotao could faintly hear voices downstairs and in the hallways.

CC tapped her foot impatiently and sighed loudly, "you were late for dinner again, and they're already angry with you. I'm trying to help."

Kotao scoffed, and turned his head to give them a glare.

"When have I ever cared about what they think?"

CC threw her hands up angrily, "that's your problem! The more you push, the more they'll punish you. They may respect you, but respect only protects you so much."

"What? Are they gonna burn me?" Kotao murmured, and turned back to his desk. He didn't want to look in their eyes right now. They saw too far, and he never really liked her eyes, anyway.

Maybe he should be more grateful for his abnormalities.

"Yes," she spat, "they will. How do you think we got here in the first place?"

"The other See'rs served their purpose until the end," Kotao spat back, "and I will too. That's all they need to think."

"And if they begin to question that?" she asked, and began to pace again. Her heels clicked loudly against the stone floors.

He never really understood her, at least not in the small ways. The big ways were easy, and shoved themselves in his face, considering they shared a soul. Yet, when it came to how she truly was, he never quite understood much. For one thing, she chose to wear heels. Kotao would kill someone if they tried to make him wear any type of shoes.

Small differences like that add up, and somehow they ended up as polar opposites. Kotao radiated heat and light, where CC seemed to remove any and all warmth near them.

"Then they question things," Kotao said in response to her question with lack of a better answer.

CC huffed angrily, which she'd been doing nonstop for the past 30 minutes, and stopped pacing just to glare at him.

"You can't keep throwing caution to the stars, Kotao," she said sternly, "I don't want to get us killed."

Kotao shut his notebook and locked it in his desk drawer before standing up to face her. He picked up his coat, something he acquired from Stars, and walked towards his door. He ignored an angry "Kotao" that was called after him and began to walk down the hallway.

CC followed his fast pace, but kept her voice down so nobody would overhear.

"I'm leaving for a couple of days," Kotao murmured, "don't wait up for me."

"Are you kidding?" She whispered, "you just got here!"

"No, and I'll be back soon enough."

"Are you going to finally burn—"

Kotao faded to Russia before she was able to finish her sentence.

When Kotao faded, it was quite obvious. Where CC was able to slyly disappear from a setting, Kotao emitted a bright —almost blinding— light whenever he teleported. It's why, usually, he did it far away from the Church and faded into places people usually wouldn't be.

There was an exception to this rule, but of course there was. There always was— and it was always Stars.

Kotao's surroundings became more clear, and he looked around quickly to find him.

Stars was perched up against a tree, a sketchbook in his hands. They were in the middle of the woods again, at a spot Stars commonly escaped to if the Church became overwhelming.

Stars had gotten used to not flinching at Kotao's arrival, but there was still signs he noticed. A flicker of his ears towards the sound, and a happy swing of his tail.

Right now, though, he just scowled and gave Kotao a glare.

"Isn't it a bit late for you to be visiting?" Stars growled, turning his attention back to his sketchbook in an effort to maintain nonchalance. It didn't work, and it never would.

Stars was far too expressive for his own good, especially when Kotao was around.

Over the years, Kotao's mere presence around Stars had been enough to rid the Church and it's occupants of their hatred for Stars. Even then, though, they were far more interested in Kotao than Stars. So whenever Stars was around, they'd ask him about Kotao, and Stars didn't even try to hide his possessiveness over the See'r.

Kotao had meant to try and stamp it down, but eventually he'd come to find it somewhat.. cute? Well, if he was even capable of finding something to be 'cute'. He wasn't sure, and he didn't really want to open that can of worms.

Regardless, ever since their first meeting, the two had began to read each other better than twins. Stars, with his ears and tail giving away even the slightest of emotions, and Kotao, with his ever growing willingness to answer questions.

That also meant that Stars got annoyed with Kotao very easily, considering Kotao never hid his actual personality around him anymore.

"Isn't it a bit early for you to be out here?" the shorter of the two shot back, and crossed his arms.

He moved closer to Stars, stopping directly at his feet. His knees were pushed up to his chest, allowing him to rest his sketchbook on his legs to draw. Kotao had given him that, along with an array of pencils and tools.

Stars just hummed, and tilted his head to his side— an invitation for Kotao to sit down next to him.

The See'r sighed, and just sat in front of him instead. They both knew Kotao wouldn't be able to mirror Stars if he was sitting next to him, yet Stars had offered the more comfortable spot anyway. He'd brought a blanket out here so he wouldn't have to sit on the snow.

Kotao melted the snow and evaporated the remaining water as soon as he sat down, anyway, so it wasn't much of a problem.

The time difference was something Kotao got used to pretty quickly, but it was still a little disorienting sometimes. It might have been night-time in Home, but here it was early morning.

Within the Realms, there wasn't much light, but the fake moon still emitted a little. They didn't have a sun, so they considered 'night' as when the moon disappeared from view.

Kotao missed the sun.

"We wake up earlier than you do," Stars answered. "Though, most people do."

Kotao rolled his eyes and hit Stars lightly on the thigh, adding a bit of heat to it just to hear Stars hiss. Serves him right.

"Drop the attitude, I barely did anything," Kotao scoffed.

"Oh, sure," Stars groaned, "I'm sure you didn't."

Well, Stars was right this time. Kotao did. Technically, Kotao didn't think Stars would be that averted to the idea of moving to Home.

"I won't do it again," Kotao smiled. He would.

"I hope you become a better liar one day," Stars sighed, and placed his sketchbook next to him. Kotao mirrored the movement, even if he didn't have anything to place down.

"I'm a better liar at Home," the See'r defended. They both knew that Kotao couldn't lie to Stars, but Stars didn't know who Kotao was— not really.

He knew the good parts of Kotao, maybe. Kotao didn't go out of his way to hide his terrible moral compass, but Stars seemed to just ignore it most days.

"That's not a very convincing argument, y'know."

"I'm not here to convince you," Kotao scoffed, "we both know it'd be better for you to move. Why so stubborn?"

Stars sighed, and tried to move his head away so Kotao wouldn't be able to look at him. Kotao shot a hand out, and forced him to look forward.

Stars slapped his hand away playfully, and rolled his eyes.

He settled, and stared ahead at Kotao, "I don't know what it'd be like to move."

"You'd be with me."

Stars chuckled, "that's a pipe dream, my light."

"Quit calling me that," Kotao groaned.

Stars had begun calling the white-haired See'r 'my light' a few years back. The first time he'd done it in front of Kotao had been when a gaggle of young feline-hybrids were annoying Kotao.

Kotao had almost punched one of them when Stars had called him that from across the room. Ever since Kotao snapped his head towards Stars and burned much brighter than he meant to, Stars kept teasing him.

At some point, it'd become less of a teasing remark and more of a pet name.

What a terrible idea.

Stars just hummed, used to Kotao's constant annoyance at everything.

"So, why are you here?" Stars asked, spreading his legs and holding his arms out to signal Kotao to move closer.

Kotao never really knew how cuddly feline-hybrids got until he'd let Stars hug him one time. He moved closer, and wrapped his arms around the brunette (?) to appease him.

"Hmm," Kotao hummed, and rested his chin on Stars shoulder. Stars wrapped his arms and legs around Kotao. "I was being told off."

The boy giggled, jostling Kotao in his embrace, "what are you? Fifteen?"

"I'm twenty-two," Kotao scoffed. "Can we move? I don't have a very nice view here."

"You don't like the bark?" Stars teased, but let Kotao maneuver around in his hold anyway. Kotao turned around, resting his back against Stars chest.

They were quiet for awhile, and Kotao was finally able to sort his thoughts a bit as he listened to Stars quiet purrs.

CC wasn't wrong.

Kotao really, really shouldn't be here.

Nobody knew that one of their See'rs had been escaping to a faraway Realm, cuddling with a follower.

Most people thought See'rs were these unfeeling, cruel deities put on the Earth to serve them. In actuality, See'rs were far more human than they wanted to be. They yearned, they felt emotions, and they would do anything to reach their goals. They felt pain, and sorrow. Most of the time, See'rs just shoved it all as far down as they could.

The Church recognized the See'rs as in-human creatures, and a gift, yet still placed them lower on the hierarchy than a priest.

Followers revered them, and everyone above that used them as a tool.

Kotao really aught to instill some damn fear in them. Maybe this would never happen again, and maybe Kotao could stop the cycle.

"You're heating up," Stars mumbled, now resting his chin on Kotao's shoulder. "Thinking about something important?"

"Stars," Kotao began, looking out into the forest.

A little further away was a storage shed, hidden in the densest part of the trees. They would be alone in there.

"Hmm?" Stars hummed.

"How do you view See'rs?" Kotao asked, returning his attention to the feline behind him.

Stars stopped purring, and looked at Kotao thoughtfully.

"I'm not sure, I haven't seen your sister.. or seen you preach."

"Regardless of that. What do they teach you?"

"Hm. I was taught to never talk to one, should I come across one. They want us to fear you, but I think that backfired when everyone here met you," Stars scoffed.

He was right. They should fear See'rs, but followers of the cult shouldn't. That wasn't their purpose.

"Have I ever told you about the first See'r? The actual story?"

Stars perked up, suddenly very interested in what Kotao was saying. He had a penchant for zoning out, typically.

"No," the feline rushed out, excited to hear the story.

Kotao scoffed, and took a small book out of his robes.

"Do you want my version, or my sister's version?"

The taller boy furrowed his eyebrows, "you don't have the same memory?"

"Mmm, not really. My half-soul wrote hers down," Kotao replied, bringing the book to his attention by shaking it around.

"I want yours."

Kotao nodded, and looked out towards the woods again.

"Well, first off, there was only one," Kotao began, and rested his head against Stars chest again. "And they were beautiful."

1967, August 1st — No known entry

"Have you noticed yet?" A voice materialized behind him, as annoying as it usually was.

Kotao scoffed, and turned his head around from where he was sitting to look at him.

Atlas just stared, hands locked behind his back.

The Sun rolled his eyes, and gestured to the seat next to him. He'd been sitting on the terrace for awhile, watching as Earth spun.

The palace they all lived in (for the most part) was awfully ornate. Kotao didn't usually spend his time here, much preferring his solitude on the sun… as the sun? It still confused him, even this many years later.

Atlas hummed as he sat next to him, looking down to the Earth with that glint in his eye.

"Are you asking because you care, or are you asking because you're impatient?" Kotao snarked, taking a sip of his now cold tea. He heated it up quickly in his palms.

Atlas watched him take a sip before looking back towards the Earth.

"Both," he smirked.

"I thought I taught you better than that," the shorter of the two hummed.

He had. Atlas knew better than to ask Kotao questions. And he knew better than to approach him first. He'd learned that quickly the first time they had met.

Kotao still remembers the look on his face when he realized what pain really felt like, and that it wasn't just a fleeting memory from his future.

The kid had an attitude. He still did, at 23 years old.

Kotao looked back at him. He had his arms crossed, his eyebrows furrowed.

"How long do we have to wait?" Atlas asked, resting his elbow on the tea table and putting his chin in his palm.

Kotao snickered, "you truly want him that bad?"

Atlas scowled, "want? I have him."

"If you believe that," the sun hummed, smirking.

"You didn't answer my question," the see'r whined, never quite having dropped his bad mannerisms— even with Kotao as a guardian.

"When my good friend pays him a visit, I suppose. Don't interact with him until he's dead."

"Dead?" Atlas complained, "who am I not interacting with? Be more specific."

Kotao reached over the table and smacked him in the back of the head, "goddess, you're a child. The kid, obviously. I don't give a fuck what you do to your little friend, don't let the curse know you exist."

Eventually, Atlas teleported away, or maybe shifted to a different time. He lost interest quickly, and tended to need something to keep him occupied.

CC often berated Kotao for not keeping a closer watch on him, but the Sun really didn't care what he did.

He hadn't cared about something in a long, long time.

The moon knew that; the see'rs knew that; hell, Reflection knew that.

Kotao had a suspicion that the Events were spreading rumors about him, but quickly stamped down the thought because he didn't care.

He turned his attention back to the Earth— which he was supposed to be watching anyway.

Wars raged, people died, people were born.

He couldn't imagine himself missing any of this anymore. He knew that at one point he did, when he still had things to hope for.

Sometimes he wonders if Stars would like this view.

He probably would have.

1686, February 24th, Russia — Since when did priests get an ego boost? Senior Bailey sure has a lot to say all the time. Goddess, I wish I could set fire to this place. They deserve it far more than all the other realms. Is this human greed? . . . . Kotao.

"Oww," Stars whined on his cot, turning on his stomach to curl into himself.

Kotao sighed, ringing out a wet towel above the small bucket he'd requested. He'd been able to warm the water, but he'd went a bit overboard and caused it to boil. Stars begged for warmer water, though, so he wasn't allowed to complain.

"Quit doing that," the See'r reprimanded, forcing Stars onto his back.

The feline whined again, but turned over nevertheless. Kotao sighed, and rested the wet warm towel on his forehead.

Stars had contracted some kind of sickness a couple days ago, and had refused treatment from anyone in the church. Apparently, he'd hissed and scratched at anybody who walked through the door. It probably came from his foul streak of empathy, not wanting to get anybody else sick.

The See'r, though, was exempt from that. He wasn't able to get sick, so Stars didn't feel the need to push him away.

Sicknesses weren't common in the Realms, as most hybrids had good immune systems.

That also meant that when they did get sick, they were entirely over dramatic about it.

Kotao sighed, and sat down at the end of the cot. Stars stared at him pathetically, pouting.

"I'm not going to lay with you," Kotao scoffed, crossing his arms. "You're gross right now."

Stars groaned, and flopped back against the bed.

"I'd feel better if you did," he mumbled, still pouting. The See'r rolled his eyes.

He wouldn't. He'd feel worse, actually. Whether Stars realized it or not, Kotao's heat wasn't really doing him any favors.

"I'm gonna go get you something to eat," Kotao replied, standing from the cot. "Try and sleep."

Stars grasped his wrist tightly, preventing him from leaving.

"Don't go," he whined, trying to pull Kotao back to the cot.

Kotao snatched his hand away, and watched as Stars complained pathetically.

"I'll be right back, quit it," he snapped, and made his way out of the room.

Usually, Stars slept in a separate building with the rest of the followers. Right now, though, since he was sick, he was set up in a room in the medical wing.

However, the Church didn't give these rooms to just anyone who got sick. Kotao had made a huge fuss over Stars being forced to sleep around everyone else; that, and Stars constantly complained in Kotao's ears that he was gonna get someone sick. Everybody couldn't stop staring at the two of them, constantly whispering about Kotao being too close.

Kotao hated being in the Church. He didn't know what was so interesting about him being there, considering he'd been visiting this realm for the better half of 2 years now.

Even now, as he walked through the corridors, people stared.

Stars being sick was a hassle. Most of the time, the feline would hiss at anyone who got too close to Kotao, and would force them away. With him sick, everybody thought that meant they could talk to him now. Kotao weaved through the hallways, ignoring anyone who tried to stop him.

As soon as he got to the kitchen, he practically slammed the spruce door behind him. He sighed, and turned around, just to see a follower in there.

They practically shook where they stood, staring at the See'r with shock visible on their face. The ladle they'd been using to scoop broth into a bowl hovered over the pot.

Kotao looked everywhere but their face.

"You're.. you're the See'r," they murmured out, finally putting the ladle down.

They were obviously young, but taller than most of the other followers Kotao had the misfortune of encountering. Maybe around Kotao's age. Probably a lion hybrid, then. Kotao rolled his eyes and shrugged.

He pointed at the broth, "I need a bowl."

"Why do you let that ass parade you around?"

Kotao stared at the lion.

They were a follower, and were wearing the regular robes of one. Kotao appreciated the blunt honestly, but not so much the sentiment. He wasn't above killing someone for talking to him, it was just.. he really didn't want to deal with Stars getting mad at him later.

Stars also didn't really care about Kotao killing people, but it helped him stay sane to make it seem like he did. Honestly, Stars probably liked it.

Maybe now wasn't the best time for that train of thought.

Kotao walked up to the follower.

The followers face got more and more nervous as Kotao inched closer, clearly regretting their words. They tried to step back, but were met with the counter.

The See'r hummed, "what do they say about us?"

"W-who? The.. the Church?" The feline stuttered, eyes flitting from Kotao to the door, probably hoping for someone to walk in. Like that would stop him.

"Everyone," Kotao replied, eyes narrowing as he had to look up at the follower.

The follower gulped, and stammered out, "that.. that you— that you're in love with him? I just— I was just wondering why him-"

Kotao scoffed, cutting them off. He'd been here far too long, and Stars was probably getting worried.

"Don't ask stupid questions," the See'r chided.

He quickly grabbed a hold of their shoulder and spun them around, before taking a hold of their hair and slamming their face into the solid counter top. The sound of skull against stone sounded out through the kitchen, along with a loud yelp.

The hand Kotao used to grip their hair was steaming, probably burning their scalp. He slammed their head down again for good measure, just to hear them scream again.

"Please! I-I'm sorry! I didn't mean it!" They pleaded, trying to turn in his grasp. He kicked the back of their knees.

Kotao let go, and watched as the follower groveled on the floor. Kotao found himself wishing yet again that there was color here, if just to see their blood.

He walked over to the large pot, finally retrieving the broth he'd come here for.

By the time he'd finally gotten back to Stars, the feline had fallen asleep.

Kotao sighed, and placed the now cold broth on the bedside table. He walked over to the desk and grabbed the chair, pulling it to the cot.

The room had a small window facing the North Forest. Hopefully, Stars would recover quickly so they could go back out.

Kotao thought back to what that follower had said. The rumors weren't wrong. Well, in a way they were. See'rs didn't feel love the way regular humans did. Yes, they could feel love, but Kotao didn't want to classify what he felt for Stars.

Regardless, Stars had a much different opinion on Kotao. A companion, maybe. A close friend at most.

But the follower was onto something by asking why. Why Stars?

The See'r still didn't know. Stars was just different. He understood Kotao in ways nobody else would, or could. Nobody else cared about him like Stars did— and Stars cared about him. The other half of his soul, the one Kotao had built from the ground up. One half of him would always be tied to CC, but the other half..

The other, better half would always belong to Stars— even if Kotao had to force it into his embrace.

1984 — Are you reading this in English?

The Solars rarely held a meeting, and rarely did it go on for this long.

Everyone was here, and unfortunately that included Death. Kotao did his best not to look in that direction.

The palace had been decorated beautifully by the servants bound to work here. The Great Hall was always ornate, but they'd really out done themselves. Colorful blue and purple streamers decorated the pillars, and were strung across the open ceiling.

The Great Hall itself was something out of a fantasy book. The windows were stained glass, depicting the Mother and her 'loyal servants'. (Kotao didn't like his. He looked far too feminine, but then again, he always did.) Everything was marble, including the long table and chairs.

Natura sat directly across from Kotao, who sat at the other end. He was far, but her voice carried fine.

The Moon sat to his right, with Mary sat beside them. Atlas was on the other side of the Sun, along with Kai and Sammie who were placed next to each other. Down at the other end, seats and seats away, were the Solars.

Natura in front. Reflection to her right, and him on her left.

This seating chart was made to make him angry.

"Dakota. You are not listening," Natura spoke, her monotone voice echoing in the Hall.

Everyone turned to look at him, except the Moon. She glared at Mother, refusing to let her out of their sight for even a second. Smart.

Kotao hummed, "I don't go by that anymore. Surely you remember."

Kai giggled next to him, trying his best to hide his amusement with his hand. It didn't work, and Sammie looked ready to reprimand him when Reflection spoke up.

"Mm, you already know what happened?" She smiled, tilting her head. Her voice was awfully high pitched, and always reminded Kotao of a small girl looking for attention.

In some ways, she was.

Kotao just nodded to appease her. He didn't truly know what happened, but he'd felt a shift.

Natura seemed annoyed, in that 'I'm above you' way star seemed to do everything. She probably knew Kotao was lying. Not that he cared.

"I will go over everything again."

Beside him, Atlas groaned, and slammed his head down on the table. Kotao scoffed, and gripped his hair to pull his head off the table.

"Be respectful," Kotao reprimanded.

He didn't actually care, and Atlas knew that, but Kotao wasn't here to listen to the Moon snark about how bad of a Father he was.

"The curse has officially been cut off," Natura announced, and gestured to her left, "Death has made sure of that."

Kotao hummed, "remind me, which curse?"

The Moon sighed next to him, playing up his farce, "the obsession one— do try to keep up."

Kotao just nodded, and let Natura continue.

"Regularly, I would tell you to discontinue your watch on the boy. Now, though, he's proving to be an issue."

Kotao could see Mary twitch next to her guardian. Hm. Interesting. Did she care about the boy, or what the boy was doing?

The Sun knew that Mary had very conflicting feelings about the curse, and about the boy whom it had been forced upon. In the beginning, she hadn't cared. When her son got involved though, she suddenly was by Atlas's side a whole lot more.

Kotao had been watching the boys since they were born. Mike and Quinn. They were both pathetic in their own ways. Useful, maybe, but pathetic. It didn't help that Quinn's actual soul had been —for a lack of better words— locked inside himself.

The curse was something the Mother Goddess had created centuries ago, during Kotao's time, to deal with rouge followers who managed to gain a bit of power. It was practically an entity in and of itself. It just reinvented itself whenever it got passed down.

It had been a mistake to make another soul as strong as that. Natura just hadn't realized it yet.

Natura continued, "he became a soul instead of ceasing. I would like you to continue watching him, and the family."

Kotao hummed and drummed his fingers on the granite, "the family? You mean the Aftons?"

Next to Natura, who'd nodded, Death scoffed in anger.

The Sun deliberately ignored it.

He couldn't look at that face, even if half of it was covered.

"Yes. Two of the children have cheated death, as you know," she emphasized. "Though, I have a proposition, going forward."

Well, that was interesting.

Kotao sat up straight in his seat, "I'm listening."

Natura looked to Reflection, allowing her to take over. Reflection nodded, and summoned scrolls that levitated in front of her.

"With follower rates being in a subtle decline due to a famine in Home, as you call it, we need a new source of worship," Reflection began, smiling, "and you have just the way to do that!"

She snapped her fingers, dissipating the scrolls. She put her elbows on the table, and rested her chin on her hands.

"You will be permitted to use your actual See'r abilities for short intervals in order to create scenarios with the family for entertainment."

Kotaos eyes widened in disbelief, and he let out a huff of shock.

Beside him, CC spoke up, "for entertainment? Who will be watching?"

"Everyone," Reflection answered gleefully, "the entire human populace. They just won't remember."

Kai burst out laughing at the absurdity, gripping the table. Everyone at the table had seemed to enter a state of shock, even Atlas paused.

Kotao almost wanted to laugh as well. Really? Really?

After 300 years, they were finally going to let him access his power— for this? It was laughable. Even with restrictions, he'd never been permitted to use them. They'd been locked up since he discovered them.

The last time he used them.. was..

He allowed himself a glance at Death.

"I'll do it."

The room seemed to still, a blanket of silence enveloping the Great Hall.

He could feel their stares at him, but he just kept his gaze forward. Natura had decided she was going to enact a plan, so Kotao was going to do what he always did.

Follow along.

Well, for a couple decades of course.

1691, December 21st, Russia — Goddess, how long has it been since we met? Stars keeps track, and he says today is the day we met all those years ago. I don't know why he looks upon our memories together so fondly. Perhaps he just doesn't have anything better to do. Not that I do either. It's slightly disappointing that this is what I've devoted myself to. . . . . —Kotao

Stars peeked over his shoulder again, trying to get a look at his notebook. The See'r closed it, causing Stars to let out a huff of amusement.

"Why do you write those dates at the top, anyway?" Stars questioned, resting his chin on Kotaos shoulder. They were in the resting hall, alone for once. Everyone else had gone outside for their daily activities.

Kotao hummed, and reached a hand over to scratch behind Star's ears. He leaned into the touch.

"To keep track of time," he responded, finally. "I don't like the Church's calendar."

"They made it to confuse us," Stars huffed, finally standing and removing his weight from Kotaos shoulder.

Kotao nodded in agreement, and placed his notebook back in his robes. The feline walked over to his bed, and flopped down on it to stare at the ornate ceiling.

There were hundreds on bunks in the resting hall, but Stars had gotten lucky and got a single, along with a small desk.

It still didn't allow for much privacy, and Kotao couldn't stay overnight in here since he glowed too brightly. Stars said he liked it, but the See'r suspected he was just lying to make Kotao feel better. The feline always preferred the dark to the light, and the monotone.

"You're running out of time," Kotao sighed, and turned his chair to look at Stars on the bed. Stars perked up, and looked at Kotao curiously. His tail swayed.

"For what?" He questioned, and sat up, leaning back on his palms.

Kotao was silent for a bit, choosing his words carefully. He needed to burn the realm soon, but Stars couldn't get caught in the crossfire. He'd been trying for years now to convince Stars to leave. This, in and of itself, was incredibly selfish on Kotaos end.

When he got the chance to explain though, Stars would understand. He would immediately take his side, and throw his entire life away. He'd throw away years of worship, of obedience, if it meant he could stay by the See'rs side.

Kotao had tried to prevent that, but at this point it seemed inevitable. He just needed more time. If Stars moved to Home, Kotao would be able to burn any traces of Stars, and keep him safe.

Kotao gripped the chair tightly, singeing the wood. Stars ignored it.

"You need to move," Kotao pleaded, watching as Stars expression dropped into nervousness and hesitance.

"My light… you know I—"

"Please."

Stars paused, and looked at Kotao sympathetically. The See'r hated when he did that, and he'd been doing that ever since he first asked.

Kotao didn't plead, he didn't ask for things. If he could have it his way, Stars would've moved years ago and this wouldn't be a problem. Except Stars had done something nobody else had managed to do— he scared him.

Kotao couldn't bare the thought of Stars ever hating him.

"I.." Stars started, and fiddled with his tail in his lap, "I don't know. This is my home. My family is here."

"You'll meet new people, better people," Kotao insisted, leaning forward in his chair, "they'll love you. There's.. there's libraries, and.. art. Please."

Stars just smiled solemnly, "I know."

Kotao reached forward, and took Stars hands in his own.

"Just visit. Once. If you.. if you don't want to stay, I can't force you."

Stars huffed sarcastically, "you could. Why haven't you?"

Kotao bit his lip and furrowed his eyebrows, tightening his grip on Stars hands.

"You'd fight me."

Stars hummed, and tilted his head. Kotao mirrored him. "I would."

"Just one day. You'll meet my.. sister," Kotao sighed, already imagining the disgusted look on her face when she realized what Kotao had done. "Home is a lot larger than this place. We can explore."

Stars looked away, making Kotao look away as well. Kotao let it happen this time.

He sat for awhile, mulling it over silently.

After a couple of minutes, he finally looked back at the See'r with a small smile.

"Okay," he sighed, and nodded, "just for a day."

Kotao didn't smile, but he leapt forward and wrapped Stars tightly in his arms.

Stars let out an 'oomf', and slammed back into his bed. He chuckled, and wrapped his arms around Kotao as well.

"That's all it took for you to hug me first?"

Kotao ignored him, and just wrapped his arms tighter. Finally.

A few days later, Kotao was able to sneak Stars out of his realm.

They had to travel into the real world for a minute or two, so Kotao was able to fade into Home with Stars. Sadly, he'd had to wrap a piece of cloth around Star's eyes, even though he desperately wanted Stars to see color. He knew, though, if Stars did see color he wouldn't be able to go back to the monotone Realms he'd grown up.

He'd fall in love far too fast. Even though he insisted he preferred the dark, Kotao knew better. He'd love the sun, just as Kotao did, and he'd love every single color his eyes came across.

They arrived in Home quickly, appearing in Kotao's sleeping quarters. Luckily, they were empty, and CC hadn't come in to check on him. He said he'd be back today through their soul.

"Wow.." Stars gasped, looking around.

The entire room was made of stone, just as every church was, but Kotao could understand his amazement. Firstly, it was much warmer than Stars was used to. That, and Kotao's room was filled with things he'd found in a couple of realms.

His bookcase was full of banned books and trinkets. Shells from the Ocean Realm he'd had fun burning, dried flowers from the Spring Realm. His cot was a little larger than Star's, and his room, albeit small, was his.

Kotao grasped Stars hand lightly, forcing the feline to look back at the See'r.

"Are you okay sharing with me?" He asked, despite knowing the answer. Stars nodded enthusiastically.

"Of course," he chuckled, "but.. won't I get caught here anyway?"

Kotao shook his head, "no. There are all kinds of hybrids here."

Stars hummed in thought. Kotao began to take off Star's extra layers, peeling away each one and leaving just his regular robes.

"You'll need different robes," the See'r continued, "these ones give you away."

The feline pouted and swung his tail unhappily, "but I like my robes."

"Don't be a child," Kotao scoffed, and looked Stars over a couple times. He sighed, "it's only for now. But.. you won't fit in mine."

Stars tilted his head curiously, "where do I get them then?"

The See'r hummed, and looked towards the window.

"I'll ask CC to get you some."

"CC?"

"My sister," Kotao corrected. When he turned back around, Stars had gotten closer.

Stars nodded, and grabbed a hold of Kotaos hand, stepping closer again. Their feet were touching.

"Thank you," he whispered, as if he was telling a secret. Kotao had to tilt his head slightly to look up at him, their close distance making the height difference more noticeable.

"For what?" Kotao murmured back, prone to copying Stars.

Stars eye's flitted from Kotaos eyes to somewhere lower on his face.

This was… wrong. Stars had never gotten this close, and in the only times he did, they were accidents— Stars had blushed profusely each time. Now, though, he seemed more confident; more assured.

He smiled softly, eyes rising andbstaying on Kotao's.

It was better than him looking at Kotaos lips like he was going to do something stupid, but worse in the intensity of it all. Kotao almost pulled away, put was stopped by Stars hand drifting to his waist.

"Everything," Stars answered quietly, letting out a huff of amusement when Kotao slapped his hand away from his waist with a glare. "Sorry."

"You're awfully confident," Kotao addressed, his nervousness racking up. Why now? This could happen later, when the two of them didn't have things to do. Not only that, but Kotao hadn't thought of this kind of situation before.

Well, not that it was a situation. They were fine, Stars was just being more cuddly than usual.

Stars hummed, and furrowed his eyebrows, "you're nervous. Why?"

Kotao scoffed, "don't test my patience, or ask me questions."

Stars nodded with a small laugh, "okay, my light."

The See'r rolled his eyes, about to pull away when Stars leaned in closer; close enough for their noses to brush. Kotao was locked in place, and refused to look anywhere but Star's eyes.

He was looking at Kotao challengingly, as if this was something bound to happen, and he was just waiting for Kotao to take a hold of it for once.

"Why now?" Kotao breathed out in frustration, "you're not.."

"Kotao," the feline whispered, and wrapped his tail around Kotaos waist. Kotao didn't feel like knocking it away this time. "Just.. just once."

That was a lie. If this happened now, it was bound to happen again— Stars didn't do 'just once'. He took an opportunity, and locked onto it for the rest of his life.

But.. maybe this could be something Kotao wanted to happen again. Kotao sighed, and raised a hand shakily to Stars cheek. Stars leaned into it greedily.

"Why me? You should know better."

Kotao didn't give the feline time to answer, finally closing the gap between the two of them.

It wasn't soft, and it wasn't like how Kotao had ever heard it described. But, then again, he'd strictly sworn off from doing anything like this. Stars gasped softly, before returning the kiss eagerly. He shot his hands up, and gripped the See'rs hair like a lifeline.

Kotao let his other hand wander up and placed it on Star's other cheek. Stars just pressed harder, tilting his head to the side to get a better angle.

Their lips locked together tightly, and Kotao found himself wanting more, more, more.

The See'r ignored Stars attempts to pull back for air, and stumbled further into his embrace. Stars tugged on Kotaos hair, sending a shock of pain up his spine. He dug his fingers into Stars jaw, and pressed his thumbs deeply into his cheeks.

Stars took a step back, so Kotao took a step forward. Was he trying to escape? Was he trying to end this? Why would he ever want this to end?

He was given the answer when Stars began to push back, more and more. He pulled at the See'rs hair again, tugging him deeper into the kiss. He opened his mouth slightly, as if expecting Kotao to—

The door slammed open, causing both of the boys to jump out of their daze. Stars pulled back, gasping softly at the sound (and probably for air). Kotao scoffed and rolled his eyes, turning around to look at the intruder.

CC looked furious, eyes flicking from Kotao to Stars. She stormed forward, grabbing Kotaos arm to spin him around. She raised her right hand.

A resounding slap sounded throughout the room.

"Are you insane?!" She screamed, grabbing Kotaos jaw to force him to look at them.

Behind him, he could hear Stars fuming, ready to defend him. He held his hand up behind him, stopping Stars from interfering.

"What have you done?!" She continued, eyes locking on Stars, "you. What realm are you from?"

Stars stuttered, "I-I don't—"

"He hasn't been out of his—"

"Don't you dare talk to me!!" CC shouted, releasing Kotaos jaw and sending him stumbling to the side.

Her eyes locked onto Stars again, eyeing him up and down and getting more and more angry the more she noticed.

"Are you a follower? What are you doing interacting with a See'r?! Are you insane?" She flung her arm to the side, pointing to Kotao, "he's dangerous! Are you stupid?"

Stars was getting angrier, hands clutching into fists as his ears flattened.

"Stars," Kotao spoke up, "leave it."

CC turned back to him, about to explode on the spot.

"What have you done? What realm did you forget—"

"CC. Not now," Kotao pleaded, eyes flicking between the both of them.

"What? What's she talking about?" Stars asked, focusing back on Kotao. "What did you do?"

"I didn't— shut up!" The See'r shouted, turning back to CC, "get out! You're late anyway."

CC scoffed incredulously, "late to what?! How many years am I late, Dakota?! How long have you been seeing a follower?"

"That's not my name anymore," Kotao scoffed, and shoved CC square in the chest. She stumbled backwards, about to push back when Stars stepped in between them.

CC focused back onto him, her eyes narrowing.

"What's your name?" She asked, reaching behind her for—

Kotao's eyes widened, and he slapped a hand over Stars mouth before he could utter anything.

Another reason Kotao had never asked for his real name.

"Get out, before I call a priest," Kotao threatened.

CC's eyes widened, and they let out a huff of surprised amusement, "you'd stoop that low? For.. for this thing?"

"Get out!" Kotao shouted, eyes not shying away from her gaze as they usually did.

He knew they saw right through him. He knew she was going to be mad for a long, long time. He didn't care. Star's safety was more important than that, and it always would be.

Stars stepped back towards him, and further into his embrace, his tail curling slyly around Kotao's thigh.

CC didn't seem to notice it, just scoffing as she walked towards the door.

Right before she stepped out, she grabbed a knife from her robes, throwing it swiftly towards Kotao's head. Kotao dodged, tilting his head to the side to avoid it.

When he looked back, she was already gone.

Shit. Now their day was ruined. That, and now Stars would probably be to nervous to kiss him again. Great.

Kotao has cried before.

He was younger, and he'd just joined the cult.

CC held him tightly, knowing how he felt. She'd done the same the first couple of times it happened. He still, to this day, didn't understand why the priests got enjoyment out of beating kids until they bled.

They'd gotten caught.

In one way or another, it happened, and Kotao wasn't sure what to do.

After showing Stars around Home a couple months ago, and with the promise to tell him everything later, he'd agreed to staying.

It took a lot of weight off of his shoulders.

CC wasn't by any means happy. She didn't want to risk everything for some boy, and they refused to even try to understand why Kotao had done it.

Why he'd gotten so attached.

Now, though, none of that mattered.

Natura had somehow noticed her Realms were depleting, and she must've gotten weaker because of it.

CC didn't stop reminding him that if he'd just focused on burning all the realms, instead of just leaving one to thrive, this wouldn't of happened. She wouldn't of had enough time to notice, or be strong enough to do anything about it.

None of that mattered when the priests noticed the See'rs were hiding something from their Meetings with the Goddess.

They knew they were doing something wrong, because the harvests weren't fruitful anymore. The water began to drain from the white river, followers began to kill themselves again with no solid reason. Disease ran rampant in Home, so much so that they didn't have enough beds to house all of the sick.

The number of followers and priests were dropping, almost 400 thousand of them were gone in just a few months.

Kotao groaned, pinching his brow as CC paced in front of him, "I don't understand, why is She letting them die?"

They were in the chapel, having just gotten back from seeing Natura.

The goddess hadn't even appeared to them as she usually did in her humanoid form, just staring at the two in scrutiny and anger from high above them. She didn't talk, she didn't ask.

CC paused in front of him, a look of horror dawning her face. Kotao paused his thoughts, staring at her.

"She's starting over. She.. She's going to destroy everything," they finally got out, stepping closer to Kotao.

"No," the See'r denied, "she can't. She won't be powerful enough!"

"That includes us!" CC shouted desperately, taking a hold of Kotao's shoulders. "She won't need us anymore if she kills everyone here. Nobody will worship her, she won't need to draw from them if she has our soul!"

Kotao slapped her hands away, his breathing speeding up. CC shook where they stood, biting their fingernails and pacing back and forth again. Kotao couldn't bare the sound of her heels clicking against the stone any longer.

He was going to die.

At any other point in his life, he wouldn't of cared. It was natural, and inevitable— but now.. now he had something to live for. Someone to live for.

There had to be some way he could get out of this.

"So we do it first," he declared, summoning his spear. "She can't destroy everything if we get there first."

"And how do you plan on doing that, huh?!" CC shot back, "what will that do? So, what, we help her get to her goal faster?"

Kotao nodded, "yes. She's too attached to this world, to her first creation. If we.. if we make her angry enough, she may spare our lives."

CC scoffed, "that doesn't make sense. That would make her want us gone more."

Kotao shook his head, "she'd use us. She'd keep our soul to get her new followers if it meant she could keep us suffering and working."

CC paused, before beginning to nod and agree. They sighed, and gripped her robes tightly.

"Fine," she gave in. "I'll help. Where are you starting?"

Kotao winced, and looked towards the chapel door. Stars was waiting in his sleeping quarters for him to come back.

He'd left Stars there for a couple hours now, and even though he knew to not leave Stars alone, he needed to meet Natura today.

Hopefully nobody got there before the See'rs did.

"I need you to distract the priests," he dictated, "they already know we betrayed them. They're going to start to search for us. I need time to destroy the last realm."

CC nodded with conviction, summoning her bow to her side quickly. She took Kotaos hand in hers, gripping tightly.

"Come back to us," she whispered. Kotao huffed. Now of all times, she finally decided to accept Stars?

He nodded, not letting a smile dawn his face.

She ran out of the chapel, racing back to the church.

Kotao watched as she went, taking a deep breath before fading.

He landed back in the forest, where he and Stars first met.

The apocalypse had hit this realm hard. A lot of the forest was dead, even some of the largest trees wilted. There were no longer any foreign animals in the wood, indicating that this realm was probably going through famine as well. Kotao wouldn't be surprised if Natura had killed anything they could possibly eat.

He immediately raced to the Church, going South— just as he once had.

For some reason, he recalls a conversation he hadn't remembered before.

On their way back to the Church, that very first night, Stars had gained the courage to ask him another question.

"Do they let you see color? That's what all the children say about See'rs.." Stars whispered into the darkness ahead of them. The feline gripped harder onto Kotaos hand, knowing he was going to get burnt.

"Yes," Kotao answered, letting his curiosity get the better of him. "Do you want to see color one day?"

Stars hesitated for a moment, "maybe. I like the dark."

"Well, I like the light. It reminds me of the sun."

"The sun? What's that?"

"Hm," Kotao hummed, disappointed but not surprised. "Let's get you back to church."

It was weird. There was no reason for Kotao to remember that now, nor did it have any importance.

He couldn't shake the feeling that something was inherently wrong, and that something had been ever since he came back.

He refused to dwell on it right now. He needed to get this finished, and he needed to get back home to Stars.

When had he begun to do that, calling Stars his home? He doesn't remember. It was weak, and irrational, and everything Kotao had promised he'd never become.

He sped up his pace, the thought of Stars forcing him to run faster.

He finally arrived at the church, slowing down to take in everything around him.

All garden life had withered, and there was a snow storm surrounding the church. A couple people outside the church had noticed him, but refused to step outside the storm. Were they afraid?

Their eyes flashed with anger and hatred.

Kotao gripped his spear tighter, and sped forward into the storm. He made quick work of the followers blocking his path, increasing the temperature surrounding them to try and rid of some of the storm.

Distantly, he could hear commotion inside of the church. People were screaming, or more, someone was screaming at other people. He couldn't make out the voice out here, the wind blocking most of the sound.

He went back to focusing on the people out here, more were charging at him to try and take him down. Just as he stabbed through another follower, he felt a zip of fear go through him.

It wasn't his fear, that he was sure of.

CC. Did something happen? His breathing sped up, and he almost didn't dodge one of the followers in time— he was panicking. This wasn't like him. He sent back confusion on the tether, hoping she'd make it more clear what they were trying to tell him.

The snow was covered in blood when he finally took down the last person out here. They'd all been trying to prevent him from getting inside the church.

They couldn't have figured out how Kotao was destroying the Realms— not even his half-soul knew that...

He panted, searching the rest of the grounds for any straggling followers. The wind whipped around him, having sped up even more since he'd first gotten here.

Someone appeared behind him, and he turned around sharply.

"You need to hurry," CC rushed out, running forward to grip his shoulders. "I can't find Stars, and the priests—"

"What?!" Kotao shouted, breathing speeding up once again. No.

He'd specifically told Stars to stay in his sleeping quarters— nobody was supposed to know Stars was there. Nobody except…

"What did you do," Kotao fumed, gripping his spear.

CC shook their head sharply, "no. I would never."

She was right, but Kotao couldn't bare the thought of Stars being somewhere Kotao couldn't find him.

"Go back," he dictated, "I'll finish up things here."

"You need to hurry," CC stepped back, getting ready to fade. "Get in and get out. I don't care about him, and I don't care if he dies, so if you want to find him you need to do it yourself."

Kotao nodded, letting her fade out.

He ran towards the Church, noticing how the screaming and yelling got louder and louder as he approached. He kicked the door open harshly and took in his surroundings.

The main hall was empty. The screaming was coming from further in the church, but it wasn't the way he needed to go. He bit his lip and made his decision.

His body was yelling at him to just go look, but he didn't have time— he needed to leave 10 minutes ago. He could really use Star's watch right now. He ran down the opposite hallway, and made his way to the middle of the Church.

All of the Churches had a circular courtyard in the middle containing all the racked up energy needed to keep the Realm alive. Natura hadn't sealed it fully, so Kotao was able to use his heat to slowly burn the Realm right from the center.

Curiously, the Church always began to burn first, instead of the surrounding forest despite it being more flammable.

He arrived at the courtyard, noting it's emptiness. Usually, there were people praying to the statue of the Mother Goddess. She stood tall over everything, commanding authority from those who feared her.

What an awful existence.

He slowly stepped out of the Church and into the courtyard, letting the snow melt under his feet.

He'd waited years to do this, but now.. he hesitated.

Under any other circumstance he would've been out of here quickly. Now, knowing Stars was missing, and there was screaming in the Church, he wasn't too sure.

Had he made the right choice, coming this way? Should he have trusted his gut and followed the distorted screaming? Why couldn't he make out their voice?

He shook his head, and reached a hand out to the statue.

Kotao grasped the Mother Goddess's outstretched hand, and used all of his remaining energy to light fire to the Church.

Someone new was screaming painfully, and it only took Kotao a few seconds to realize it was him doing the screaming.

CC held him back, her arms tight around his torso as she tore him away from the burning Church in front of them.

He didn't remember when they got here, and he didn't remember when he'd regained enough energy to fight against them.

The See'r desperately reached out towards the Church again, white hot tears blurring his vision.

"Kotao," CC screamed over him, pleading and begging as she had been, "please! We need to leave!"

"Let me inside!!" Kotao screeched, voice hoarse and cracking from usage, "I can save him!!"

"He's gone!" CC cried, pulling Kotao further and further from the flames he desperately wanted to run into.

Kotao collapsed onto CC, sobbing and finally running out of energy to keep fighting.

"I can.. I.." he cried, letting CC continue to drag him away.

He took one last look at the Church, knowing what he'd done, and what he'll always regret.

1684, January 7th, Home — Cat's are so strange. I took Stars back to the Church, and they all praised me for saving him, and apologized for causing a See'r so much trouble. They were all so serious. Obviously, most Priests and Followers are, but they seemed so different than what I thought they would be. Stars is expressive, and seems to care about the things around him. They didn't. Maybe he just is that way? Different. I guess we're both different, then. . . . . -Kotao