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You didn't understand how he did it. Maybe it was a difference of perspective or the fact that he was an Omnic, but for the life of you, you did not understand Zenyatta. His whole "tranquility" thing bugged you, especially when he did it as he was obliterating his opponents on the battlefield. It was more than a bit disconcerting. At first, you thought it might be a façade to put himself on the moral high ground, but even when he wasn't on the battlefield, he was always talking about meditation, silencing the disquiet in people's souls, and the like. Still, you couldn't wrap your head around the Omnic monk. How could he claim to know peace when people died on the battlefield? The Talon agents you fought were one thing, but the faces of fallen civilians haunted you. You tried to save people whenever you could, but it was the faces of people crushed under rubble and the bodies decorated with bullet wounds that left you unable to get a proper night's rest. You had talked to Soldier 76 about how to cope, but he was an old soldier, and he gave old advice. "Don't think too hard about it" and "You can't save everyone" didn't offer much in the way of comfort. Your inability to cope left you lacking in training, and your fellow teammates had taken notice. At first, Mercy had dropped a few melatonin capsules in your palm and told you to take a day or two off to recover. When those didn't work, the team called upon the only person they thought could help you—Zenyatta.
That was why you were sitting in the courtyard under an old tree with the Omnic. Genji had promised you that his master could help you, but you highly doubted it. Genji had common ground with Zenyatta—neither being human—and you didn't. Still, you were willing to try anything at this point, and the ninja assured you that your interaction would change your perspective. So you had sat down with Zenyatta in a feeble attempt to meditate. Thirty minutes had passed since you two had started, but you didn't feel tranquil whatsoever. You kept fidgeting where you sat and found it impossible to completely clear your head like he had instructed. As the time passed, you grew more frustrated that nothing was happening to you. Inner peace was taking its sweet time.
"Patience," Zenyatta hummed softly, cutting through the silence. It was like he could read your mind, something else that annoyed you about him. "Meditation takes practice and time. If you expect immediate results, you will only find disappointment," That was the straw that broke the camel's back, you decided. Your eyes shot open and you stood abruptly. You needed results fast, or else you would be benched indefinitely. You couldn't afford to let your team down like that.
"This is stupid!" you snapped, turning away from the still-meditating Zenyatta. You crossed your arms over your chest. "How am I supposed to feel better sitting around, doing nothing? I knew this wouldn't work," Zenyatta hummed curiously at your sudden outburst.
"So, you were expecting failure from the start. It is no wonder you found what you sought," he said, resting his hands on his knees. "Tell me, why are you refusing my help when it is so obvious you need it?" You groaned, exasperated. You were so sick of his stupid robot Buddha routine, and now he was going to get a piece of your mind.
"Because I don't want your help! Your whole 'tranquility' thing is total bullshit!" you barked, brow furrowing as you glared furiously at Zenyatta. "Let me ask you something, Oh Wise One. How can you be so at peace with yourself when there's so much suffering?" You could feel tears pricking at your eyes and a lump forming in your throat. Your rage had bubbled up violently and overflowed in every word you spat at him. "They didn't deserve to die! Those people had nothing to do with our fight, but they still died! They were mothers, fathers, daughters, sons, sisters, brothers, lovers...and it's our fault that their loved ones are never going to see them again!" By now, you were sobbing. Steady streams of tears poured down your cheeks, and your chest trembled with the sheer force of your grief. You hiccuped and lowered your head to wipe some of your tears on your sleeve. Angry though you were, you were still embarrassed that you had burst into tears. It was times like this that you hated being an angry crier. But you found your fear and grief overshadowed your anger towards the Omnic. Your lungs ached as you tried to hold back your cries.
"I...I can't keep doing this. I can't watch more innocent people die." you choked, lips quivering. There was a tense moment of silence between you, filled only by your crying. Suddenly, you felt two warm, metal arms wrap around your body, and a head rest atop your own. Zenyatta had stood to full height and embraced you loosely, patting your back as you sobbed. Your own arms wrapped around his thin, robotic body and pulled him closer and tighter to you. For a few moments, you held each other in that tight embrace, his hand rubbing your back as you cried your heart out. You weren't sure how long you spent crying into his chest. When your wails had finally subsided into hiccups, he spoke again.
"Ours is not an easy path to walk. Many people have died, and many more will die before this conflict is resolved," he said. Before you could ask him how that was supposed to comfort you, he continued. "But without us, even more innocent people would die, would they not? You only focus on the people you could not save. Have you stopped to consider how many people you have saved? You have assured that many more families and friends will meet each other again. You must also remember how many triumphs you have achieved in comparison to the few losses. And you must remember that you are stronger than you realize, my dear,"
You sniffled again as the embrace ended, bringing your hands to rub at your tired eyes. You remembered evacuating an entire school, making sure each child found their guardians waiting in the safe zone. You had saved many hostages from Talon operatives. You had stopped pushing towards objectives to make sure civilians were safe, even at the risk of punishment. He was right. You focused so much on the handful of losses that you had forgotten about your accomplishments. It didn't dull the pain much, but without you and the rest of Overwatch, you were dooming many more innocent people. You were contributing your strength to a worthy cause. A clumsy, lopsided smile came to your face. "Thank you, Zenyatta. I guess I couldn't see the forest for the trees," you sighed, head still bowed in shame. "Sorry for insulting your beliefs like that. I was frustrated, and it was wrong of me to say that," He raised a hand to stop you from apologizing further.
"It is forgiven. I, too, regret the innocent lives claimed by our conflict," he assured you, resting his hand on your shoulder. "But I find that focusing on the negative outcomes of our actions clouds our perspective. We must see all the facets of our actions, celebrate our accomplishments, and accept responsibility for our shortcomings. You must find a balance that you are happy with," You nodded in understanding. Genji was right. Zenyatta had a way of changing people for the better. You could already feel the weight of grief lifting off of your shoulders.
"Oh, and do not worry about showing your grief. It is far from shameful," he mused, his hand moving from your shoulder to pat your head affectionately. A blush came to your face. You had almost forgotten your embarrassing outburst until he brought it up. "It was bound to happen at some point. Your soul can only handle so much grief on its own. That is why we surround ourselves with friends, so our souls do not have to bear the burden of sadness alone. You must open yourself up to others' help. You are not alone," You looked up at him curiously. "If ever you find yourself too worn by sadness, do not hesitate to seek me out. I am more than happy to quiet the turmoil you feel, whether by meditating, a conversation, or an embrace,"
"Now, let us go inside. You must be tired from all that crying. A hot cup of tea and a rest will be good for you," he said, returning to his cross-legged position in the air. He floated leisurely towards the hall that led to the bunks. You stood behind and watched him go. You felt strange. As a monk, he had a cryptic way of wording things, so it wasn't always easy to decode what he meant. You couldn't shake the feeling in your gut that, in some way, Zenyatta had just confessed something to you.
"Are you coming?" His voice derailed your train of thought, and you jogged to catch up to him. You glanced at his emotionless metal face as you two made your way down the hall. He was strange, that much was certain, but maybe you had been a little quick to judge him.
"You'll stay with me, right?" you asked, resulting in (what you thought to be) a puzzled look from Zenyatta. "In case I start crying again? I'm not sure I want to be all alone right now," He chuckled warmly, and you swear you can hear the smile in his voice.
"Of course, my dear,"