Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Sebastian wrapped his fingers around the glass before him, the condensation instantly cooling his skin. He lifted it to his lips, letting the liquid spill into his mouth, coating his tongue in the sharp tasting alcohol. As he swallowed, he could feel the burning sensation travel down his throat, warming his chest.

It was his fourth drink that evening, the alcohol already leaving his vision blurred as the coloured walls around him began to dance and swirl. He hated what he’d become. He used to be happy in the racing world, fighting for pole positions and race wins, competing for championship titles, beating his teammates. He used to be the best - he had four world championship titles to prove it! Yet here he was, so far from that victorious time. Now, he could barely muster a smile. Instead of partying with the other drivers, he was drinking alone in the hotel bar. Where had it all gone wrong? When had everything changed? Rather than standing upon the podium like he was used to, now he was lucky to be actually receiving points. Moving to Ferrari was supposed to be a good career move, but here he was, the worst season since his debut. Would he ever be on top again? Sebastian didn’t know the answer, didn’t know whether he wanted to know or not. He was a winner, he wanted to have his national anthem playing as he stood above the crowds of cheering fans, he wanted to hold the trophy high above his head. He didn’t want to be fourth, he wanted to be first. Had he made the right choice?

Sebastian picked up the next glass, wincing at the taste as it passed through his parted lips. But he didn’t care, it was beginning to dull the ache in his chest, beginning to lessen the pain of failure. He was going to drink until he couldn’t remember, couldn’t remember the contact with Hulkenburg, couldn’t remember the poor finish, couldn’t even remember which team he raced for. He lifted the glass again, downing the remaining the liquid. He was already half-way there…

Lost in his thoughts, Sebastian didn’t notice someone standing behind him until a strong hand splayed across his shoulder. He jumped, a small squeal of surprise escaping from his parted lips. He spun on the uncomfortable stool, turning until he was facing a familiar figure. Sebastian struggled to focus as he found himself looking into the warmth of chocolate brown eyes, spotting the soft lips turned upwards into a grin, the wild curls standing up in all directions. Even through his alcohol haze, he knew it was Daniel Ricciardo.

“You alright there Seb?” Dan chuckled, looking at the empty glasses surrounding the German driver. He knew Sebastian had been struggling with his car recently and it was evident he was trying to release the pent up frustration. Dan rested his hands against Sebastian’s shoulders, steadying the other man as he wobbled precariously on the bar stool.

Sebastian shook his head, the room suddenly spinning quicker than before, “I just wanted to win.” He said miserably, his bottom lip sticking out in a child-like pout.

“I know mate,” Dan soothed, “Your time will come soon.”

“Promise?” Seb asked. He knew it was silly, there was nothing that could be done. The combination of mechanical problems and racing incidents initiated by himself and others had let to a series of retirements and low finishing positions. A win wasn’t something that could be guaranteed. And this season was proving just that.

“I promise, it won’t be long. Just wait and see mate.” Dan answered confidently, smiling at Sebastian.

Sebastian carelessly threw his arms around Dan’s broad shoulders, pulling the Australian into a clumsy hug. The angle was awkward as Sebastian remained seated, forcing Dan to lean forwards. Seb could smell the lemon scented aftershave, feel the soft stubble tickling his cheek, hear every inhale and exhale. Everything was always easy with Dan. He made the perfect teammate, always laughing and joking, even during the most boring press conferences. Although he enjoyed Kimi’s company, it was nothing compared to spending every day with the Australian. He’d missed seeing the way Dan’s eyes sparkled in the sunlight. He’d missed the way Dan threw his head back, the sound of laughter filling the air. He’d missed the way Dan would lick his lips, his tongue darting out before he began speaking. Without thinking, Sebastian lunged forwards and pressed his mouth against Dan’s lips, capturing them in a messy kiss. He’d missed his former teammate.

Strong hands rested against Sebastian’s shoulders, pushing against them as Dan tried to create a distance between the two of them. “Woah Seb… What was that for?” Dan smirked, clearly amused as he watched the blush that warmed Sebastian’s cheeks, colouring them in a deep, Ferrari red.

It had just seemed natural. It was a spur of the moment, alcohol induced action. Sebastian hadn’t considered the implications of what he’d done, he’d just acted. He dropped his gaze to the floor, unable to look at the Australian, worried that hatred and anger would replace the usual kindness in his eyes, “I- I miss you…” He stuttered truthfully, he really had missed having Dan around.

Dan’s expression softened, “I’ve missed you too Seb. Now come on, let’s get you to bed.” He slipped an arm around Sebastian’s waist as he helped the German to stand. He knew that leaving Seb in the bar would result in more alcohol being consumed and judging by the row of empty glasses, that could only end badly. Sebastian stumbled, tripping over his own feet as he rose from his position at the bar. He leant heavily against Dan’s taller figure, using the other man to support his weight as together, they made the thankfully short distance along the Hotel lobby and to his room. Sebastian pulled out his key card and after a few miscalculated attempts, he was able to push open the door, nearly falling through as it swung open. Dan guided him to the bed, push Sebastian into a sitting position. He knelt before Seb, working on the laces of his shoes until he was able to slip them from his feet. Next, his fingers moved to the waist of Sebastian’s jeans, undoing the button and with difficulty, he was able to pull them over Seb’s long legs. He threw the item of clothing to the floor, not caring where they landed. He then helped Sebastian into the bed and bundled the duvet around his body until a bleary eyed face poked out from above the striped bedding. His eyes fluttered closed, a satisfied smile spreading over his cheeks.

Taking this as an opportunity to leave, Dan turned around and was nearly to the door when Sebastian’s spoke again, his words slurred through both alcohol and exhaustion, “Don’t go. Stay with me.” It was more of a statement than a question, an instruction. Dan knew Sebastian wouldn’t take no for an answer and he really couldn’t be bothered to climb the flights of stairs to find his own room located in the other side of the hotel. So instead, he pushed his own shoes from his feet and pulled down his own jeans, leaving himself in just an old hoodie and boxer shorts. He then slipped beneath the duvet, climbing close to Sebastian. The German nuzzled close, resting his head against Dan’s chest, listening to the constant beating of his heart, “I love you…” Seb murmured, his voice barely above a whisper before his breathing evened out, an unconscious slumber taking over his body.

Dan’s fingers combed through Sebastian’s hair, smoothing the messy strands. Had he misheard Sebastian’s words? Had he imagined them? During their time together at Red Bull, he had longed so desperately to hear them. There had been something between them, a spark, a chemistry. But Dan hadn’t acted upon his feelings for the German, unsure of how Sebastian would react. Dan lifted his hand, his thumb ghosting over his lips where just moments before, Sebastian had placed a messy kiss. It had been as sweet as he’d imagined, even through the bitter taste of drink. Dan shook his head, it had just been the alcohol. Sebastian had copious amounts of alcohol coursing through his bloodstream, his words weren’t genuine, it was the drink talking. He pushed away the rising hope, locked away his feelings. Sebastian was feeling down after missing out on a podium position again, miserable at how his racecar was turning out. Dan had to be a friend, there was never going to be anything more between the two. Or was there? He closed his eyes, letting the soft snores from the German beside him lull him into a restful slumber.

Chapter Text

When Sebastian awoke, there was a warmth spreading across his cheeks as bright sunlight seeped in from the opening in the curtains. Cursing himself for not pulling them closed, Sebastian moved his aching body, turning away from the intruding light. His head was pounding, a constant thumping sensation in his temples that moved in time with his heart beat. It felt as if someone was repeating attacking him with a blunt object. His mouth felt fuzzy, the alcohol from the previous evening tasting stale on his tongue. With a groan, he stretched out his arms, relishing in the satisfying click that left his joints. But as he flexed the fingers on his left hand, they came into contact with warm skin. He wasn’t expecting that...

Seb peeled open his eyes slowly, gasping in surprise as he was met with the sun-kissed skin and messy curls of one Australian: Dan. Sebastian’s eyes widen in horror as he recalled the events of the previous evening. His memories were still slightly patchy but he knew what had happened. He remembered wrapping his arms around Dan’s neck, nuzzling into his warm skin. He recalled the lingering taste of chocolate on Dan’s lips, the skin soft beneath his own as he captured them in a messy kiss. He remembered asking the Australian to stay the night before murmuring those three words into the silence of the room. All the years of repressing his emotions and hiding his love had been ruined. All it had taken was alcohol coursing through his bloodstream before the words slipped from his mouth.

He lifted the corner of the duvet, placing his feet against the wooden floor, wincing at the sudden change in temperature. The four walls around him swirled momentarily before stilling. Sebastian placed his hand against the bedside table to steady himself as he stood upright, a shiver running through his body. He stumbled forwards, heading to the bathroom. Before he opened the door, Sebastian glanced back towards the bed, spotting the mess of curls peeking over the patterned duvet. A small smile rested on Dan’s face and he looked so peaceful and innocent, sleeping undisturbed. Sebastian noticed his heart fluttering slightly as he watched Dan sleeping, a soft smile tugging at his lips. Pushing away the thoughts, Seb stepped into the Hotel bathroom. He didn’t know what to do. Could he dress and leave without Dan noticing? Or should he stay and wait for Dan to wake? What would he say? He had no idea. Seb headed for the sink and spotted the purplish shadows darkening his bloodshot eyes. A thin layer of patchy stubble covered his cheeks, not having shaved recently. He looked a mess. And felt like one too. He turned on the cold tap, splashing the water over his face in the hope it would help him feel more normal again.

As he headed back into the bedroom, Sebastian hadn’t expected to hear the Australian accent he’d grown to love so much as Dan called from where he now had his eyes open, “Thought you’d left mate.” His voice was thick with sleep. At least Sebastian’s decision had been made, he had no choice but to talk.

Sebastian shook his head, “Just went to the bathroom.” He sat down on the side of the bed, his fingers playing with the edge of the duvet, “Sorry about last night.”

“S’alright. How’s your head this morning?”

Seb winced, the pounding was overwhelming and he wanted nothing more than to curl into a ball underneath his duvet, surrounding himself in warmth and darkness. But Dan was still lying in his bed, “Kills. Think I had a bit too much to drink.” He mumbled.

Dan chuckled, the sound melodic to Seb’s ears, “You’re telling me! I pretty much carried you to bed!”

“Sorry.” Sebastian repeated. Silence fell across the room as the atmosphere grew slightly awkward, neither man quite sure of how to approach the topic of what was said late last night, neither man quite sure if they even wanted to talk about it. It would certainly be easier to just ignore it,

“I-” Sebastian began at the same time Dan started speaking, “You-”

The two men laughed, relaxing slightly. Sebastian gestured for Dan to continue, letting the Australian speak first,

“I know it was probably just the alcohol speaking last night so we can just forget about everything if you’d rather.”

When Sebastian glanced over at Dan, he was surprised by the unusually serious expression that rested on his face. Gone was the laughter, the joking. Instead, he had his bottom lip between his teeth as he worried the sensitive skin, clearly unsure and nervous about the conversation taking place. Seb wanted nothing more than to reach out and smooth away the worry, “Is that what you want?” He asked hesitantly. He didn’t want to forget it. He wanted to remember the way Dan’s lips had curled into a smile beneath his own or the gentle expert movement of his fingers as they worked along his shoes. But he didn’t know whether Dan wanted to remember or not.

Dan shook his head, “I don’t want to forget any of it.”

“Good.”

Dan knelt on the bed, moving so that he was behind Seb. He slid his arms around Sebastian’s hunched body, his hands rested against the slender curves of his waist. He leant forwards, his chest pressed firmly against Sebastian’s back. His head rested against Seb’s shoulder, the stubble on his chin grazing lightly against his neck. “Why don’t you come back to bed? We could try the kiss again?” Dan offered, pressing gentle kisses to the underside of Seb’s chin and jaw.

With a chuckle, Sebastian turned in Dan’s arms until he was facing the Australian. He stopped, resting his forehead against Dan’s, his eyes fluttering closed.

“Thank you…” He murmured softly, his warm breath tickling Dan’s cheek, “For not hating me.”

“Never…” Dan answered, dipping his head so that his lips pressed against Sebastian’s, this time aligning them perfectly. The kiss was sweet, gentle. It was everything Dan had longed for so desperately. It was better than the previous evening, both men sober without the presence of alcohol. It was genuine, a lovefelt expression of their emotions. It was the right choice after all...