Chapter Text
Upon entering the classroom, Adrien was greeted by slow, solitary clapping. He froze, one hand lingering on the doorframe, blinking down at the flat expression on Nino’s face. What-
“Behold! The King of Comedy has arrived!”
...
Adrien’s face automatically stretched into some sort of smile - an unsure twitch of lips - as he immediately shrugged on his coat of “yes I am socially competent and understand exactly what you're referencing”. Ha haaa, yes Adrien, inside jokes are a pinch for you.
His brain scrambled itself to a consistency matching runny eggs trying to think of what on earth his friend was talking about.
“Haaaaaaa…?” Adrien tried, gingerly slipping into his seat. No response. Crap. Wrong. He kept his eyes fixed on the side of Nino’s face. Please give me a social cue, Nino's face. Please give me a-
Nino gave him a long side-eye that let slip absolutely zero information. Oh geez. Um-
Oh! Of course! Banter. Yes. “King Of Comedy”, he’d said. Follow his lead. Yes. Okay. Go.
“Please,” Adrien drawled, lifting his chin and flicking his hair away from his forehead with a regal twist of his fingers. “No need to address me so formally.”
Nailed it.
Nino’s expression soured and Adrien had half a second to panic before he was smacked clean across the face with a baseball cap.
It occurred to Adrien in that moment that Nino might be upset with him.
Nino who was currently talking. Nino who didn't sound very happy and if Adrien wanted to find out why, he should probably peel the hat off his face and pay attention-
“-all my contacts, some of them I'll never be able to find again! Not to mention my following, and my gig bookings, and… And! You could at least apologise, this is really serious!”
Apologise he did, instantly, “I’m sorry” being such a well-rehearsed rabbit pulled from the hat.
That only seemed to make Nino angrier. “And don't give me those fake-ass puppy-eyes!
Adrien’s puppy-eyes were anything but fake-ass.
What what what what what-
“What?”
Adrien almost missed Nino’s interjection between the ticker tape of whats running through his head.
What what? His brain screamed. What? WHAT?
“What?” he echoed. Wow. That sounded stupid even to him.
“What what?” Nino narrowed his eyes at him.
“W-what?”
“What?!”
“Wh-”
“Dude I swear to god I’m about this close-”
“What’s up,” blared Alya.
Nino threw his hands in the air with a frustrated howl, snatching his hat back and swivelling away from Adrien.
“Hmph,” said Alya darkly, sliding into her seat and fixing Adrien with a dark stare that put ice in his veins. “You'd better have offered that boy a yacht Agreste, that was a dick move.”
Alya too?!
Struck by the sudden and horrible urge to stuff his head into his bag and stay in there forever, it was all he could do to gape up at her like a fish.
“He didn't even apologise until I told him to,” muttered Nino into the rim of his cap; now back on his head and pulled low over his face.
Alya’s lip curled and with it Adrien saw the gates of hell about to swing wide open-
His hands flew up before his face and he was babbling.
“I'm sorry I'm really sorry but I don't know what you're talking about but I'm really sorry I'm sorry!”
Nino twitched his head to glare at him.
“My facebook is my life man, I know it was you.”
Adrien's brain set itself alight.
“I mean it was funny the first couple of times but I told you to cut it out and then you go and report me and now my account is suspended ? Majorly uncool .”
“I don’t-”
“Adrien, put the shovel down,” Alya peered down at him from behind steepled fingers like God herself.
Facebook? Nino’s facebook?
“Your facebook account,” he licked his lips, brow crinkling as he hoped (he prayed ) that he was was finally picking up on this. “Is suspended?”
Furious silence. Uh oh-
“Oh my god dude, seriously?!”
“Wow, just cut it out already! It's-”
“I didn't! I'm not! I-I-I-”
He wanted to melt. He wanted to run. His tongue stuck to the roof of his mouth, paralysed by fear. Short of this being some kind of joke, it seemed like his friends might not be his friends anymore if this kept up… But how could he possibly stop whatever downward spiral they were on if he had no idea what was going on?! Dear god he was barely equipped to deal with in-class pleasantries, let alone a full-on witch trial- For what, exactly?! What had he done? Something awful evidently, and something social media related but-
“A-are you guys… Okay?”
Three pairs of eyes snapped to Marinette and she had the presence of mind to step back in alarm.
Everyone started talking at once.
“Adrien reported Nino as a joke-”
“I didn't-”
“He's still acting like it's funny -”
“But I- I didn't! It wasn't me!”
“-and now Nino’s Facebook account has been suspended and Adrien still won't drop the act.”
And there it was. At last. Out in the open. The bubble of relief that burst in his chest was to Adrien surely a physical thing.
Oh thank god.
While Adrien drifted back to earth the others were still bickering.
“I mean, a-a you sure it was him?”
“Marinette now is not the time for-”
“I'm not it's just-”
“I screenshot the messages because he was being a right asshole and I thought it might- here look-”
“Guys?”
Trying not to wince at the ferocity of the looks suddenly beamed at him, Adrien fought to keep his expression politely baffled.
“I don't have a facebook account.”
Nino rolled his eyes into next week while Alya all but shoved a screen up his nose.
“What's this then, smartass?”
Adrien squinted.
What.
Adrien frowned.
Was that-
Adrien seized the phone and stared because what the everliving-
“...I have a facebook account?”