Chapter Text
Was he dead?
That’s the most important question.
Has the Ultimate Life-Form’s time ran out? Did he die in space? Is he still floating around beside stars? Exploring planets? Studying constellations?
No…
He was dead…
But what if he wasn’t?
If Shadow was still alive, then wouldn’t he have came back down to Earth?
The battle between two very powerful hedgehogs ended around a fortnight ago. It started in Tokyo, Japan and ended in space when Shadow sacrificed his life towards saving the world.
The events took a big turn in Sonic’s life but helped him see things at a different perspective. Shadow wasn’t a creature. He wasn’t an experiment. He was just a kid who wanted to protect those closest to him.
Maria.
Maria was the closest to him.
Sonic deeply despised Shadow for all the unholy things he had caused. But in his final moments using all his strength and energy he could muster to overcome the following disasters that would take Earth away with it, that earned his respect.
A hero saves the world. A hero is willing to die to protect lives. A hero defeats evil and makes the planet a better place for future generations.
Shadow was a hero.
So was Sonic. But he didn’t even feel a sweet sensation of victory. Not even in the slightest.
Someone had died.
And Sonic let that happen. So why should he be deemed as a saviour? Well, he did save countless lives and defeat Shadow. But Sonic had the Master Emerald, so it wasn’t fair. He thought about this for hours on end. He lost his appetite and sleep. He couldn’t bear to rest. He almost couldn’t even look at chilli dogs anymore.
That’s when Knuckles’s and Tails’s concern grew until they had to take action.
Knuckles had looked upon Sonic gazing at the stars each night. Eyes flicking from constellation to constellation. Trying to find something that wasn’t there. Focusing absentmindedly. That was the only way Knuckles could put it as.
Tails would see the blue hedgehog stare at the wall for ages. He didn’t know what was going on in that mind of his. He would also hear Sonic engaging in conversation very rarely. It was difficult to get full sentences out of him.
Even the Blue Devil himself didn’t know what was going on with him. Quills twitching every now and again. A sick feeling to his stomach. A heavy feeling weighing him down in his chest.
He shouldn’t care about a villain! But was Shadow even a villain? Or a rejected, lonely hedgehog who just needed affection?
Well, he chose to not accept affection even when he had a choice! But it wasn’t his fault he was raised in isolation, made in captivity.
Why was he so obsessed over his death? He was working with Eggman to destroy the world! He shouldn’t even give two thoughts about that beast… but why was this different?
Was it…
Love?
‘NO!’ Sonic thought as his cheeks turned a rosy shade. ‘I don’t like anyone! Especially not him!’ He almost managed to convince himself until he remembered… his attractive red highlights… the intimidating way he stood above everyone… the cold but majestic look in his crimson eyes…
He never felt this way before…
This feeling was new…
Wait… HE CAN’T FALL IN LOVE WITH A CREATURE!
Dammit… why was the warm feeling in his heart not disappearing?
Shadow hurt his friends and planned to rule civilisation with a mad scientist who tried to kill Sonic three times!
Sonic felt mortified just thinking about loving a cold-hearted monster like him.
…
It would never work out. Shadow never tolerated the blue hedgehog, let alone like.
In addition, Sonic does not like him. He can’t.
He hurt people.
He hurt friends.
He was he supposed to like a hedgehog who hurt his friends?
Even if Shadow liked him back and somehow developed feelings, he’s gone.
He finished off the job Sonic couldn’t do.
And that was saving the world.
…
Friday Evening. 7:27 p.m
Movie night. A joyous night where the trio would decide what film to watch. Chatting. Laughing. Swearing at the smallest things. These were nights that they deeply enjoyed.
It was Sonic’s favourite time of the week.
So why wasn’t he excited?
He couldn’t be.
Every single night since the battle came to a close, he spent restless nights trying to erase the painful memories and woke up to the persistent guilt of the horrible experiences everyone had endured.
Sonic was the fastest creature in the galaxy, but he can’t outrun the truth. He can’t outrun the past he could have changed.
And that was that.
…
“Hey, Sonic!” Tails called to him. “What movie do you want to watch? Knuckles hasn’t decided yet and I’m fine with anything as long as it’s not too scary!”
Sonic looked up at him. His misty green eyes which were usually bright and vibrant met Tails’s carefree, joyful gaze.
“Oh… I… uhhh… I’m n-not sure.” Stuttered the same hedgehog who hadn’t had a care in the world three weeks ago.
“That’s not the Sonic I know,” the fox began. “You ALWAYS want to watch some cool spy movie or an action series that you’ve seen a million times!”
Tails laughed, but it came out short. Humourless. Suddenly, his smile slowly disappeared from his face. His expression turned more serious.
“What’s been going on with you lately?”
Sonic’s heart began to beat faster. That was a good question.
“Oh, oh- It’s- I’m just tired! That’s all. I promise!” He replied with his unmistakable grin. But it seemed peculiar. Like it was forced through pain. Almost agony.
“Hey,” Tails spoke softly. “If you need to tell me anything, just say. I’m here for you! And so is Knuckles. Now what movie do you want to watch?” He said obviously trying to change the heavy hearted topic.
“Maybe some episodes of Lucifer? Or The Office?” He questioned.
“Sure! Knuckles is ordering Takeaway. Join us in the pillow fort in twenty minutes!” Sonic nodded as Tails skipped away.
It was the first time in a while Sonic allowed himself to properly smile. It wasn’t a beaming expression but it was enough. It felt good to smile after two weeks of the horrifying guilt clawing at his chest.
Friday Evening. 7:49 p.m
The echidna, fox and hedgehog all clustered together in a half-built pillow fort watching season two of Lucifer. The food was amazing, the show was great. But to Sonic the food tasted like cardboard and he wasn’t paying attention to the show.
He was watching the tragic events on loop in his head. Every episode of torture. Each season of nightmares. Many series of memories he could have changed if he had just tried harder.
If he had just saved Shadow.