Chapter Text
“What?”
The woman shifted her weight from one foot to the other. “This is Isabel. She is your daughter.”
Juan stumbled backwards, looking down at the tiny baby in the stroller who looked up at him with wide eyes.
“I’m not sure that this was the best way to spring this on you,” she continued. “But, I’m not ready to take care of a baby, I’m only 23.”
“I’m only 25,” Juan breathed out in an automatic response. “But, are you- are you sure she’s my baby?” His tone wasn’t accusatory in the slightest; it was more dumbfounded than anything.
Carla, the baby’s mother, and a one-night stand Juan had in the summer after Spain had won Euro 2012 threw her hair over her shoulder. “I’m sure Juan, I really am.” He didn’t need to ask again, Juan believed her. She smiled softly. “Look, I’m not saying you have to take her, but I thought you deserved to know she existed.”
As it began to dawn on him what was occurring, Juan realised they were still standing in the threshold of his apartment. He ushered Carla inside, before pushing the stroller into the front room.
“If you’re willing to take care of her, I have the paperwork here – I’m willing to waive my parental rights.”
Juan looked at the stack of papers that she handed him, on top of the pile was Isabel’s birth certificate – which hadn’t been completed. Carla explained that she didn’t fill out the names because she wasn’t sure whose surname to put down.
Carla kept talking, explaining things to Juan, while he listened. He didn’t say anything, he couldn’t – it was all so much to take in. But what he did notice was Carla had clearly thought this through, it wasn’t a spur of the moment decision for her.
“I’ve never wanted children – and I still don’t. She’s a gorgeous child, but I don’t feel the connection to her that I know I should.” Juan nodded, understanding what she was saying.
According to Carla, Isabel was a mere 5 weeks old. Carla had tried to be a mother, but she knew she wasn’t cut out for it.
“For a few months – while I was pregnant and after I’d given birth – I was trying desperately to find you.” She smoothed down her skirt, like a nervous habit. “But that night we didn’t exchange much more than names.”
“I know, I’m so sorry you had to deal with all of this on your own.” Juan ran a hand through his hair suddenly feeling incredible guilt that he hadn’t been there to help throughout Carla’s pregnancy.
“It’s okay, you didn’t know.”
Juan grasped Carla’s hand, “Do you need any money to cover any costs? Is there anything I can do to help?” His voice was a little strained, but his emotions were running high.
Carla chuckled lightly. “I don’t want anything from you, Juan. It’s not why I’m here, I just want to know if you’re willing to be her dad. If not, I’m going to take her back to Spain and put her up for adoption – she deserves a loving home.”
Just as Juan was about to answer, Isabel started fussing in her pram; Carla leaned over to take the baby.
“Wait, do you mind if I..?” Juan asked, gesturing towards the bab- his daughter.
Juan took the baby and cradled her in his arms, bouncing her lightly to calm her down.
Carla smiled at the pair from across the sofa. “See, you’re a natural.”
With a grin Juan looked over at her and said, “I think I’m going to do it.” He felt a stronger connection to the child than he had to any other human being and he’d only been aware of her existence for less than an hour.
“Are you sure, Juan?”
He looked down into Isabel’s blue eyes, and nodded. “Yeah, I am.”
Less than an hour later, Carla left with a kiss on Isabel’s forehead and then another to Juan’s cheek; they’d made an agreement that Juan would keep her updated with a picture every few months and an email every so often to say how the baby was getting on, but other than that, Carla requested no involvement in Isabel’s life.
“It’s just us now, angel.” Juan mumbled as he closed the door behind Carla.
She responded by rubbing her little nose and promptly falling asleep. Juan carefully placed her into her stroller, still treating her like fine china, he was afraid she might break – Isabel was impossibly tiny. As if from nowhere, Juan realised how unprepared he was to look after a baby, although Carla had left him with a small supply of the essentials (nappies, formula, toys, blankets, and onesies) he knew that it wouldn’t last him long.
For a few minutes, Juan toyed with the idea of taking Isabel out shopping, but then decided against it. While she snoozed next to him, he got out his laptop and ordered everything over the Internet. He ordered a crib, a bassinet, another car seat (the stroller Carla had dismantled into a car seat), more clothes, enough diapers for about 1000 babies, more toys and six books on early childcare.
He put everything on express delivery so they’d arrive as soon as possible. But the baby store he ordered the crib from couldn’t deliver until the next day. So that night, with the television on mute, he settled Isabel on his bed in a nest of blankets and pillows. She gurgled happily as Juan blew raspberries on her tummy, it didn’t take long before her eyelids began to flutter and Isabel drifted off to sleep.
“Sleep tight, baby girl,” Juan smiled down at her while she slept, he pulled the blanket up over her chest and pressed a feather kiss to her forehead.
That night Juan didn’t sleep a wink; he couldn’t take his eyes off of Isabel. He was scared if he looked away for too long, she’d roll over in her sleep, or something would happen to her. She woke up pretty much every hour on the hour, sometimes for food, once because she needed her nappy changed (Juan didn’t have any of the night time ones yet) and twice because she just felt like crying.