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Jude woke to a soft bed and warm covers unlike the cold ocean she had been experiencing in her dreams. Her body shook anyway. Whether it was from terror or lingering feelings of the ocean's teeth chattering touch, she did not know.
The dreams had been haunting her ever since she was saved from the Undersea. She was still terribly gaunt, and the lack of sleep wasn’t helping. Exhaustion tugged at her, even after a few hours of sleep. She couldn’t close her eyes, though, because she knew what waited for her.
Nightmares that blended too well with memories to distinguish what was real and what wasn’t.
The door to her room banged open, causing her to flinch. Light rushed in as a familiar voice started to speak.
“Jude, yells were heard from outside your room and it could have easily disrupted my revelry. I figured the only reason you would make such an issue was if you had gotten into a sword fight. I thought I should see what could best my dear seneschal," Cardan chuckled. He thankfully didn’t mention that the Undersea had clearly bested her.
The laugh quickly died off as he took Jude in.
She knew he must be staring at her shivering, curled up body, the sheets not pulled up enough to hide the thin tank top she wore to bed. She waited for the mocking. For the laughter at how weak she was.
Instead, Cardan knelt down beside her bed. His slender fingers found their way to her face, pushing a messy strand of hair away.
“Jude,” he breathed.
“Go away,” she mumbled, no energy to fight him.
“You are shaking, my darling.”
“Don’t call me that,” She hissed out. Hating the warmth that bloomed in her stomach, easing the chill in the slightest amount. “Just leave me alone.”
“Isn’t it a king’s responsibility to take care of his subjects?” Cardan asked, his voice low.
“I’m mortal, I don’t count,” she fired back.
“You counted enough for me to make a deal to get you out of the Undersea,” he countered.
“Yet it feels like I’m still there in my dreams.” The words slipped out of her mouth before she could stop them. She didn’t want him to know, but apparently her tired mind had different ideas.
“What?”
She shook her head, “Go away.”
Cardan’s fingers drifted to her hand, “You’re cold.”
“I have blankets.”
Cardan stood up, and she thought it meant he was finally leaving. Once again her predictions about his actions were wrong as he moved over to the fireplace. He stoked the fire, and light flickered into the room. She finally had a better view of the King. He had none of the finery she expected, he couldn’t have been coming back from a revel. Just a simple ruffled white shirt and black pants. He had only said her screams could have disrupted his revelry.
He could have been coming back from someone’s room.
The thought forced bile into her throat. She shouldn’t be jealous. It was what he was known for. She suppressed the growing nausea imagining him with someone else.
When the fire was properly prepared, he turned back to her. She didn’t want to look at him. The questions were circling around her mind. She couldn’t suppress them.
“You wouldn’t have worn that to a revel,” Jude blurted out.
Cardan froze, “What?”
“You said I could have interuppted your revel. Except you never wear anything so simple. So should I assume you were coming from somewhere else.” Her hand fisted in the sheets, as she tried to keep her emotions in check. “Did you find a new lover while I was gone? We will need to make sure they are properly vetted. Or maybe Nicasia?”
Cardan scoffed, “My my my…are you jealous?”
Jude’s freezing body seemed to be starting to sweat. She couldn’t take the switch of who was doing the accusing. “No. I’m trying to do my job. So where were you coming from?”
Cardan seemed to take pity on her and avoid the games, “My room.”
Jude’s forehead wrinkled in confusion.
“The guards heard you screaming, and informed me because…” he paused, as if working the words around before saying them, “I have standing orders that no one goes into your room, except for me.”
Her eyes widened, “You have what? I am not some defenceless child!”
“You were taken from under my nose!” Cardan snapped back. “I can’t have that happen again!”
“Was your job really that hard?”
He stormed toward the bed, “Stop it!”
Jude glared at him.
He knelt down again, “Don’t you understand?”
“Understand what?” She didn’t want to keep arguing. Her skin felt too hot for this.
“You are more than just a seneschal. But I wonder if you could ever really understand that.”
She rolled her eyes, refusing to take stock in anything he said, “Yes. It’s quite obvious. Now leave me alone.”
Cardan’s demeanor softened slightly, “I need to make sure you are okay, before I even think about that.”
“It was just a bad dream, and I was cold from my memories. You made me a fire. I’m okay.” She rolled over, turning away from him.
Finally, it was blessedly silent.
The covers were lifted. A warm body slid in behind her.
Her body froze.
Cardan wrapped his arms around her.
She started to push him away.
He gripped her tighter, “You have what I have heard the mortals call a fever. You need rest, and I will be ensuring you recover correctly.”
She hadn’t noticed that her cold body had turned to a blazing heat, until he said it. And he was a faerie, so his natural temperature was cooler. Slowly, she felt her body relax under him. He was stronger than she imagined, and his tight grip felt secure.
She hadn’t had any stability since she came back. The Ghost had completely betrayed her, and trust wasn’t quick to grow, so she was now wary of the rest of the Court of Shadows.
But Cardan had saved her.
She forced herself to admit it. Without him, she would still be under Queen Orlagh’s control. Why was she set on never trusting him?
He hadn’t needed a command to save the person that controlled him. He did it because he could. And as much as she hated to admit it, he had grown into his role. He didn’t need her.
But he saved her.
And now he was holding her.
With that though she drifted off to sleep again. This time with no dreams or memories.
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She woke up to find the fever had broken, her body temperature finally felt normal. Cardan was still wrapped around her. She decided to stay where she was, pretending to be asleep.
A few minutes later, Cardan awoke and slowly rested a hand on her forehead. He seemed to deem the fever gone. His arm slipped out from under her, and extracted himself from her bed.
Seconds passed, her door clicked open then closed.
She exhaled slowly.
That day when she saw Cardan, he didn’t mention the moment, so she didn’t either. She moved on with her life as if it had never happened.
But it did. And her heart was softening for the High King of Elfhame more than it should have. She also found she didn’t want it to stop.