Chapter Text
Death Count: 0
The second he saw the petals in his hands, Kenny knew he was fucked. He rushes to the bathroom and immediately flushes them down the toilet.
He places himself in front of the mirror and stares at his reflection in disbelief. "God, I'm the stupidest fucker on the planet."
Kenny knows he isn't smart. That was Kyle's role in the group. However, you'd think he would have the self-awareness to fall for someone half-decent. Because who in their right mind would fall for Eric fucking Cartman.
He hates him. He's selfish, narcissistic and he always points out that Kenny's poor. Not like Cartman wasn't. And sure, Kenny was no saint— but next to Cartman, anyone's a saint.
He stares for a moment, hoping he was just hallucinating. Maybe he was still high from…last week.
He sighs and rubs his hands on his face. "Oh this is gonna hurt so bad."
For the first time, he wishes he could just die permanently.
He was no stranger to death. It even made him braver sometimes. But he does have his preferences. He'd rather experience a fast death than a slow and agonizing one.
Hanahaki disease was a very slow and painful one. Physically and emotionally.
While Hanahaki disease was a very fatal disease, it wasn't rare or unheard of. Heck, even some of his classmates have fallen victim to it and they turned out fine! But that was because they could afford the surgery to remove their feelings of love. Kenny could only blame his poorness for the situation he's in. While the flowers that fill his lungs would serve as a reminder of his stupidity to fall for the devil (Eric Cartman).
Well, there's nothing he can do about it. He walks out of the bathroom to grab his towel. Since even death himself can't stop the school year. Well, at least for him.
He meets up with the rest of the guys at their usual bus stop. They were all too immersed into their phones, playing the current trending game or something. Kenny usually couldn't relate. His phone was probably too old to even handle the game's specs.
But he still asks, "Hey guys, what's that?"
And on cue Cartman says, "You wouldn't understand this Kenny. You're too poor."
But he still places himself beside Kenny and shows him the phone screen. "Look I'm absolutely obliterating those guys."
"Fuck you fatass! You paid real money for those upgrades."
"Don't be such a sore loser Kyle." Cartman says laughing before handing Kenny the phone.
"Destroy those turds."
And Kenny did, even though he didn't have a clue on how to play this game. Cartman's paid upgrades really helped him a lot.
"Ha! You guys are so weak. Even Kenny managed to beat you guys." Kenny laughs, amused at Cartman's obvious ragebaiting.
Kyle and Stan, however, was the opposite as they spew out insults for brunette.
Soon the bus arrives yet their group's noise didn't end there. It was even starting to annoy the other passengers but like, what was new?
When they finally arrive at school, every student has gotten off except for him when suddenly the bus gets crashed into by a truck.
"Oh my god they killed Kenny!"
"You bastards!"
The two familiar sentences sparks an idea in him.
"You dumbasses, he's alive." Cartman says as he peeks into the window of the bus. "And uninjured, wow. Looks like today wasn't your day Kenny."
Oh my god, why did he have to love this Satan incarnate.
"Fuck you asshole."
"Yeah, yeah just get out of there before it blows up or something." Cartman says, walking away. He gets off the bus and he feels a cough coming up his throat.
"Hey Kenny, move your ass. We're going to be late!" He hears Kyle yell.
But he couldn't care any less right now. Then he coughs—not a simple cough, but a harsh one, as if something is lodged deep in his throat and he needs to get it out.
Well he has an idea of what that something was. But he'd rather not let his friends have the same idea. He's thankful for the parka though. It hid the flowers he was coughing up.
"Woah, dude are you dying?" Cartman asks.
Why, yes Cartman, Kenny is dying.
But on his terms. He doesn't bother answering. Instead, he turns on his heel and runs into oncoming traffic.
He hears the screams of his friends in the background but that doesn't stop the truck from hitting him.
And then, Kenny dies.
Death count: 1