Chapter Text
The school day is almost over and I–Saiki Kusou–am more than ready to return to the (relative) peace of my house. Unfortunately, that will probably not happen. Annoyances 1 and 2 are planning to invite me out for ramen. In fact, they're planning to ask as soon as class is dismissed.
Unfortunately for the two of them, I am already fully ready to run to the hallway, teleport down to the entrance to switch my shoes, and go home.
And that I do, escaping them is easy.
Well, I thought I could escape them. Unfortunately, they are now knocking on my door. If I were home alone I could just ignore them, pretend I'm not home. However, Mom decided to open the door and now I'm going to be forced to face them.
Oh, and they also managed to obtain a Teruhashi and a Yumehara on the way here.
Yare, yare.
At least Yumehara is too busy clinging onto Kaidou to remember she previously had a crush on me. Unfortunately, Teruhashi is currently thinking up a million ways to get me to say "Oh wow!"
As if that would ever happen.
"Aww... Kuu-chan's friends have come to visit!" Kurumi Saiki–my mother–is already fawning all over my classmates. Specifically Yumehara, the only one present she hasn't met yet. "Come on in, I can treat you to dinner!"
"Thank you, Mrs Saiki." Teruhashi, polite as ever, is the first to accept her invite. Although her reasoning is less "wanting to be polite" and more "maybe I can finally get Saiki to say 'Oh wow!'"
"Oh, it's nothing really. I'm just happy my little Kuu is having fun with his friends. Speaking of... KUSUO YOUR FRIENDS ARE HERE!"
Ugh. Guess I have no other option now. I have to join them, it seems.
Annoying.
"KUSUO GET DOWN HERE YOUR FRIENDS WANT TO HANG OUT WITH YOU."
Yare, yare . . .
I walked very purposefully slowly to the kitchen the annoyances have gathered in. Normally I would teleport, but I wanted to postpone greeting them. Besides, they would surely notice if I did.
"Hey Buddy!" Nendou is the first to notice when I enter the room. Quickly followed suit by Teruhashi, Kaidou, and Yumehara.
"Hi Saiki!!" The girls (and Kaidou) yell in sync.
"Ugh. Why are you all here?" I already know the answer, I'm just hoping they'll take the hint and leave me alone. Of course they won't, though. God hates me.
"Well, Kaidou–and Nendou I guess–mentioned they were going to hang out with you, so Kokomi and I decided to tag along!" Yumehara explains, side eyeing Nendou when she gets the chance. If he weren't here this could be a perfect little double date.
I don't think she's intentionally being mean–that's not really like her from what I can tell–it's just hard to like Nendou. Besides, by now she's realized that Teruhashi does not, in fact, have a crush on Nendou–she has a crush on me. She's probably trying to set up a double date between her and Kaidou, and Teruhashi and me.
Like hell I'd ever agree to that.
Ugh, whatever, it's not like I can kick these idiots out. Mom would be mad at me and wow is she scary when she's mad.
Not that I'm actually scared of her, persay, I'd just rather deal with a bunch of idiots than an angry mother.
Speaking of, she went to the kitchen to make dinner, meaning I am now alone with the four unbearable idiots. Well, I suppose Yumehara isn't so bad when she's crushing on Kaidou instead of me, but the point still stands.
"So, Saiki, how has your day been?" Teruhashi asks, not like I'll give anything more than a shrug in response. He hasn't responded yet . . . I know! He must be so surprised by the fact that a perfect pretty girl like me would ask him about his day that he can't find the words to speak! He must be head over heels in love with me by now! I mean, who wouldn't, I'm the worlds most perfect pretty girl, after all.
Yeah, no. You're way off. Can't you take a hint already?
Yumehara moved on when she realized the feeling wasn't mutual, so why can't she?
Ugh. Love is stupid, I don't understand it.
I don't think Kaidou does either, actually. Or at least he can't recognize it when it's staring him in the face. Yumehara has been trying to gain his attention for at least five minutes now. I almost feel bad for her.
Almost.
"Gasp SAIKI!" Kaidou is quick to point an accusing finger at me. "How can you just ignore Teruhashi like that?!"
"You are actively ignoring the girl who is clinging to you practically begging for attention. Don't act like I'm the bad guy here."
"Oh." He looks at Yumehara, who is still clinging to his arm. "Sorry . . . "
"Well, moving on . . . " Teruhashi changes the subject. Istg I am NOT here to witness a lover's quarrel.
Can't believe I'm agreeing with Teruhashi, but I also don't want to witness that. Well, actually, would it be considered a lover's quarrel? They're not dating, Kaidou doesn't even realize Yumehara likes him. I highly doubt he's ever even dated anyone before anyway.
Wait why is everyone staring?
"Well? What do you think, Saiki?"
Oh. Teruhashi asked a question.
"Yeah, what would you like to do, Saiki?"
"Oh. I don't care." I shrug. It really doesn't matter to me either way.
Typical Saiki...
Wow. I don't think they've ever all matched up their thoughts so perfectly before.
"Maybe we should play a game?" Kaidou suggests. Please don't ask me what game I didn't think this through. Someone have a good idea please.
"Sure! Like, truth or dare?" Yumehara chimes in.
"Truth or dare? What are we, in Kindergarten?"
"Heh. You're just scared of being asked about you're deepest darkest secrets or something." Kaidou mocks.
No, I'm pretty sure that's you.
"Ugh. Whatever. If everyone else is cool with it, we can play." I give in, though not without pointedly rolling my eyes.
The game has gone surprisingly well so far, minimal chaos. Though, I'm sure that's bound to change. Especially since it's Kaidou's turn and he's about to ask me the question.
"So, Saiki. Truth or dare?"
Between the two options, I think I'll pick truth. I don't know for sure what he's planning to ask yet–but the truth options he's been running through in his head are certainly preferable over the dare ideas he's been thinking of.
"Truth."
"Okay. Hmm . . . What is your biggest fear?" He smirks, clearly expecting me to say something stupid so he can laugh at me (even though his fears are almost certainly stupider than anything I could say).
"I have no fears." I lie.
I know there is no reason for me to lie to them–my one fear is pretty common, so it certainly isn't helping my average teen facade to lie–but for some reason I just don't want to tell them.
"Saiki, no one is scared of nothing. Even a perfect pretty girl like me has a few fears of my own–no I am not sharing them–you don't have to be ashamed of them!"
Surprisingly kind and insightful from Teruhashi. Well, she says kind and insightful things all the time, but usually she's thinking the opposite.
Wait what is she scared of anyway? Actually, I don't care.
"Oh, hey, look Buddy. There's a bug on your arm."
What.
Looking down I see that there is, in fact, a bug on my arm–a cockroach to be specific. How did I not notice it there sooner?!
Bugs are like a bunch of tiny Nendous;unpredictable and annoying. Possibly capable of killing me (even though nothing can kill me) purely because I can never sense them coming.
When I tell you I have never moved faster in my life, I mean it. I somehow managed to suppress the urge to teleport away (I probably would have accidentally brought the filthy cockroach with me anyway), but I did move so fast it stuns the others. Not fast enough for the thing to leave though. It's still on my arm.
I hate this I hate this I. Hate. This.
"You're scared of bugs, Saiki?" Kaidou laughs as I swing my arm around in a feeble attempt to shake it off.
I'm a psychic, practically a god, SO WHY CAN'T I DEFEAT THIS STUPID ROACH?!
"Shut up, entomophobia is one of the most common fears out there. You have no right to make fun of me."
"Pffft–"
"One more word about this and I'm kicking you all out."
. . .
"WHY IS THIS STUPID THING STILL ON ME?!"
Nendou grabs the roach, thankful– nevermind he just crushed it and smeared it on the wall. That's disgusting.
I'm so done with this shit.
"Yeah, okay. Everyone out. You've had your fun. Leave me alone now." I start to shove everyone out the door.
"But–"
"GOODBYE, HAVE A GOOD DAY. LEAVE ME ALONE."