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The room was silent.
Only the soft sound of shared breathing, the warm weight of two bodies already used to existing together.
Until it broke.
The hit came before the blond fully woke up.
A pull in his chest.
A pressure.
A hand—no, not one hand—
two, large, rough, squeezing—
Kaiser jolted awake.
The air didn’t come in.
He sat up almost violently, like something had pushed him from the inside. His lungs opened in a useless attempt, but the air didn’t reach.
It wasn’t enough.
His hand dug into his chest.
It hurt.
It hurt like before.
The pain pierced through his chest, strong, tight.. suffocating.
He couldn’t breathe.
He couldn’t—
He couldn’t—
Beside him, Ness stirred.
It wasn’t immediate. It was that slow, confused kind of waking.. until he saw him.
“Micha..?”
The voice didn’t match.
It was soft.
Too soft.
But his body couldn’t tell the difference.
His throat tightened further.
He tried to speak.
Nothing.
He tried to move.
Nothing either.
There was no response.
Only stiffness.
Only that strange silence that wasn’t calm, but something worse.
Alexis sat up quickly, the drowsiness gone in a second.
“Hey..” His voice lowered automatically. “What happened?”
Nothing.
Kaiser opened his mouth, but no sound came out. His throat closed as if invisible hands were squeezing it.
As if the past had decided to come back to life right there, on top of him.
His breathing was short, incomplete.
Ness didn’t insist with words.
He observed the tension in his shoulders, the way he was slightly hunched, the hand digging into his chest.
He moved carefully, as if any sudden motion could break something else.
“Hey.. Easy, easy..” he murmured, getting closer. “Come here, lie down.. I’m with you.”
It wasn’t an order.
And Kaiser, surprisingly, obeyed.
He fell back again, stiff, eyes open but seeing something else.
Alexis placed his hand on his chest.
The contact made him shudder.
“Here?”
Kaiser nodded.
He felt so ridiculous.
He was.
It was ridiculous.
The magenta-haired boy began to rub slowly, in soft, steady circles.
“Easy..” he whispered. “I’m here.”
The pain didn’t disappear immediately.
But it changed.
It became.. bearable.
Kaiser’s breathing was still uneven, but it was no longer a desperate attempt to survive.
Ness hesitated for a second before speaking again.
“Do you want me to take off your shirt?” he asked quietly. “Maybe it’s bothering you..”
There was no verbal response, but Michael slightly raised his arms.
The magenta-haired boy removed it carefully, setting it aside, and placed his hand back on his chest, continuing the same motion, as if breaking the rhythm would be a mistake.
Minutes passed.
Slow.
Heavy.
But each one brought Kaiser back a little more.
“Do you want tea? I can—”
He moved slightly, ready to get up.
He didn’t make it.
The blond grabbed his arm.
Tight, like he was desperate.
Ness froze, looking at his hand.
And he understood.
It wasn’t possession.
It was fear.
The kind of fear that isn’t spoken.
The kind that doesn’t ask.
But begs anyway.
Ness settled back down without saying anything.
Closer this time.
“I’m not going anywhere..” he said softly.
And he stayed there.
As if he had never considered any other option.
The air began to come in.
But it wasn’t enough.
It was never enough.
Michael kept his eyes open, fixed on nothing, as if anything he looked at could turn into that again.
His breathing was uneven, clumsy, and even though the pain in his chest had lessened, something else was starting to rise.
Something worse.
Something he couldn’t push down this time.
Not the pain.
Not the memory.
That.
Something in Kaiser’s chest broke.
First it was a tremor.
Barely noticeable.
Then another.
Stronger.
His breathing hitched again, but different from before—it wasn’t that he couldn’t breathe, it was that the air came out in uneven, broken pulls.
As if his body didn’t know what to do with everything it had been holding in.
“No..—” His voice came out raw.
His fingers tightened in the bedsheet, like he needed to hold onto something to keep from falling into himself.
“No, no..”
Ness stayed still for a second, not because he didn’t know what to do.
But because he understood what was coming.
And he wasn’t going to stop it.
The blond curled in on himself slightly, his other hand going to his face, covering it as if he could hide.
But he couldn’t.
Because it was already happening.
The first sob came out muffled.
As if even that hurt.
And then another.
And another.
His body started to shake for real now, uncontrollably, every breath turning into a failed attempt to hold back something he had kept in for far too long.
“I couldn’t..” he gasped, his voice breaking sharply. “I couldn’t breathe—”
He wasn’t talking about now.
Ness knew it instantly.
“I know..” he whispered, not stopping the movement of his hand.
“No..—” He shook his head, desperate, like he needed to correct him. “No.. you don’t know—”
Another sob cut him off, stronger, more uneven.
His body curled in tighter, like he was trying to make himself smaller, disappear into himself.
“He..—” The word got stuck. His throat closed again, but this time not out of fear. “He..—” He tried again, but his voice broke before he could finish.
Alexis didn’t push him, didn’t ask him to continue.
He just moved closer.
His arms wrapped around Kaiser carefully, not trapping him, leaving space in case he wanted to pull away.
He didn’t pull away.
If anything, he clung tighter.
His fingers dug into Ness’s clothes like it was the only solid thing in the world.
And that’s when he broke completely.
The crying stopped being held back.
It came out messy, too loud.
Nothing graceful, nothing controlled. It was pure overflow, years piled up spilling out without a filter.
His forehead ended up resting against Ness’s chest, as if he could no longer hold up his own head.
His body trembled with every sob, every broken breath, every failed attempt to calm down.
“Shh..” He gently rested his chin on top of his head. “It’s okay.. it’s okay..”
His fingers kept moving, now between his chest and his back, trying to give some rhythm to that chaos.
“It’s over now..” he whispered.
Kaiser shook his head sharply against his chest.
“No..” His voice came out rough, irritated. More alive than it had been a few seconds ago. “Don’t say that.”
Alexis fell silent for a second.
“.. Say what?”
“«It’s over.»” he repeated, almost spitting it out. “It’s not over.” His grip tightened again, but now there was something different in it—anger.
That old anger that always came with everything else.
“You have no idea what you’re talking about..” His voice started to rise, breaking in between. “You don’t know anything.”
The magenta-haired boy didn’t pull away, but he didn’t respond immediately either.
“Kaiser—”
“DON’T TALK TO ME LIKE YOU KNOW.” he cut him off, lifting his head slightly. “It’s not..” He faltered. “It’s not something that’s «over,» do you understand?”
His chest rose and fell quickly, too quickly again.
“It’s not something you can fix with.. with this.. With you touching me like I’m..”
He stopped.
But it was too late.
The word still landed.
“Pathetic.”
The air between them changed.
Michael went still for a second.
As if he had just heard what he said.
Ness didn’t move either.
He didn’t pull away.
He didn’t suddenly change his expression.
He just.. looked at him.
Calm, like always.
And that was worse.
Because there was no fight.
His hand started moving again on the other German’s chest, just like before.
Same rhythm.
As if nothing had happened.
“Breathe..” he said softly. “Slowly.”
Kaiser frowned, confused.
“Did you hear me?” His voice came out lower, but tighter. “I told you that—”
“Yes. I heard you.” he replied. “And I know you didn’t mean it.”
That hit differently.
Michael fell silent.
His breathing was still uneven, but something in his expression changed.
As if the anger had nowhere left to hold onto.
“No..” His voice dropped, breaking again. “I—” He swallowed, struggling to continue. “I didn’t mean to..—”
His fingers loosened slightly in Ness’s clothes.
It wasn’t a desperate grip anymore.
It was.. fear.
“That’s not what I meant..” he murmured, almost inaudible. “I didn’t..”
The words wouldn’t come out right, they never did when they mattered.
Alexis leaned a little closer to him.
“I know.
You’re scared.”
The blond shut his eyes tightly as another tremor ran through his body.
“.. I’m sorry.” The word came out broken, nothing like the Kaiser everyone knew. “I didn’t mean to say that to you.. I don’t think that..”
The magenta-haired boy rested his forehead against his, stopping his hand for a second just to adjust the contact better.
“I know. You don’t have to defend yourself from me.”
Kaiser let out a quiet sound, somewhere between relief and embarrassment, and hid his face against him again—this time without as much force, but with more weight.
Like he was letting himself fall.
Kaiser took a deep breath.
Still bad.
But better than before.
His hands weren’t shaking as much anymore.
“.. Don’t go.” he murmured, almost sleepy in the way he said it. “Please.”
Ness held him a little tighter.
“I’m not going anywhere.”
And this time it wasn’t just an answer.
It was a promise.