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Sandrone and Columbina had been living together for a long time at this point. Well, unofficially. It was just Sandrone’s lab originally, made purely for research purposes. At first, any human comforts were there just for convenience–excluding her coffee and cake, those were necessary–since she had few needs herself and didn’t intend to invite anyone over. However, Columbina often frequented the lab. She visited so consistently that it was practically her home as well. Although Sandrone complained and bickered the whole time, it was her who put in all the effort to refurbish the lab to be comfortable for Columbina to live in too. She says it was a “necessary expense to stop Columbina from complaining her ears off”, but Columbina never actually said a word of complaints.
This extended further than just the lab itself. Sandrone had developed new habits as well, which better accommodated her time with Columbina. So, this night, like she had for at least a year now, she left her lab snapping about how she was “forced to step away” and how she “could get so much more work done” and how “Columbina was taking up all her space”, all while she carefully prepared every little aspect to make sure Columbina slept well. A "necessary expense for recharging” she would surely remark, despite the fact that she herself has no difficulties powering off for the night. Columbina would follow her around as she did so and ask if Sandrone wanted any help, to which she would get a quick refusal. Then, when Sandrone finished this nightly ritual, they would finally lay down in their bed.
“Goodnight, Sandrone.”
Columbina’s voice held that usual airy tone, although her words were more spread out than usual because of her exhaustion.
“Hmph, I’m sure you’re enjoying leeching off my space. Mm…make sure you sleep well, if you have to sleep so close.”
Sandrone remarked back. Her voice became softer towards the end, portraying a gentleness she still struggled to admit, even after all this time. Her cruel remarks were a long developed defensive system, and such a thing is uniquely difficult to unlearn. Still, no one can dismantle it like Columbina can–or put it into overdrive like her.
Columbina giggled softly, her usual response to Sandrone’s snappings. Sandrone had gotten used to it after so long. There was no point in getting upset–and she got upset, not ‘puffy’ like Columbina called it–because Columbina would only find ways to irritate her more.
Columbina nestled her head onto Sandrone’s chest, while her body curled up like one of those needy cats that frequented her workshop. Despite how sharp Sandrone’s words were, her touch as she wrapped her arms around Columbina was as gentle as she could possibly be. Many words could be used to describe their position, and if speaking out loud Sandrone would likely use all of them. Clingy, annoying, and utterly cramped. Yet the quiet hum of her machinery, paired with Columbina’s soft breathing, made it more than clear that this was a state of comfort for them both. Taking a final glance at Columbina’s moonlit face, Sandrone powered down for the night.
The sensation of hands clutching tightly at her back, accompanied by shaky breathing and a wet feeling on her neck. This is what Sandrone awoke to, her senses slowly coming back to her at the physical triggers surrounding her. As her eyes blinked open, she was prepared to be frustrated. It had clearly not been a full night, likely not even four hours! Her rest time was very important! Yet, when she looked down at the goddess lying with her, all the words died on her lips.
Columbina clung to Sandrone like a lifeline, holding her as close as possible and burying her face in her neck. Her breathing was sporadic, broken apart by sobs that she tried, unsuccessfully, to silence. She looked so terribly despaired, something that Sandrone very rarely saw.
“Columbina..? Hey-! Wake up!”
She spoke out as she carefully shook her body, breaking Columbina out of her slumber. Columbina gasped and frantically blinked tears out of her eyes, looking up at Sandrone.
“What in the world happened? You were so panicked it forced my power on!”
“Ah…s..sorry, Sandrone…”
Her voice was so weak and sad, Sandrone instantly cursed herself for her harsh tone.
“You don’t need to apologize, I-...I’m worried, please tell me what happened.”
“Mmh…”
“Columbina, don’t make me repeat that…”
“...can I have conch madeleines beforehand?”
Sandrone blinked, staring at her. Columbina was, in a rare sight, avoiding Sandrone’s gaze. Sandrone ultimately let out a sigh.
“Alright, well, you have to let go of me if you want that.”
About a half an hour later, Sandrone sat down next to Columbina on their couch, a plate of madeleines and a glass of milk in front of them. Columbina’s wings had manifested and were wrapped protectively around herself, something Sandrone had found her to do when her emotions were strong. Now that Sandrone was next to her, her wings stretched out so one of them wrapped around Sandrone too.
After giving Columbina a moment for eating, Sandrone spoke up again.
“Are you ready to talk?”
Columbina hesitated, shifting a little in her seat.
“Talking about it…just brings back the memories.”
Sandrone was not good at this. Usually, she avoided situations of this kind with all her might, but she wouldn’t dare do that to Columbina. Her mind whirred to think of all the advice that others had given her before, advice that at the time she called useless since her mind was not nearly so weak. Now she was more thankful than ever that she had not deleted that data.
“Er…if you don’t talk about it, then it’ll never get better. I believe.”
Columbina stared at her like she had gone insane. Momentarily frozen by her stare, Sandrone’s cheeks flushed and she quickly turned her head away.
“W-What is that look for?! I’m trying to help!”
Columbina smiled and let out a soft laugh.
“Sorry, Sandrone…I just never expected to hear you say something like that. It’s very unlike you.”
Sandrone huffed in response.
“I’m not heartless, Columbina.”
“Of course you aren’t…mmh, and you’re likely right…”
Columbina scooted closer to Sandrone, leaning against her. Sandrone hesitated for a moment before reciprocating the gesture.
“I dreamed about it again…the day you all saved me.”
“Oh.”
Oh.
Sandrone knew what she was referring to instantly. It was difficult to not know, having been at the forefront of the battle. She did not think of that day often. In part because her memories of it were fragmented–the most recent data had been the hardest to save. Otherwise, though, she didn’t have terribly strong feelings about it. She would curse Dottore to the border of Teyvat, of course, but there was little point letting it weigh on her. After all, it was long past, Columbina was saved, and Sandrone was brought back from destruction. There was no point to dwell on it further, when that time could be better spent on new research. She had mistakenly assumed that Columbina felt similarly. After all, Columbina never talked about it. Sandrone interpreted that as being because she did not think about it. She now realized how terribly wrong she was.
“When I first reformed, I felt relief and joy. Relief that I was not forgotten, that my faith was not misplaced, and I was not abandoned…Joy that I could see you all again, and continue to live. And of course, even just the fact that I no longer felt pain for simply existing. But when the battle ended, and I realized what the cost of my life came at…”
Columbina’s voice shook, and she curled up further. Sandrone responded by wrapping an arm around her, keeping her close. This did not feel like the time to speak.
“I almost never opened my eyes back then…of course I knew what you looked like, but it was like a reconstruction of your actual appearance. It wasn’t the same. So, I can never forget the first time I got to actually see you…that you were…how could I ever feel happy about my return, when it came at the cost of your life…”
“I’m not gone. I’m right here with you…you better not forget that.”
Sandrone’s voice was firm, but not angry. She was holding Columbina tight, even though she was never the clingy one–at least, she didn’t think herself to be. A part of her felt intensely upset. At Columbina, for not confiding in her during these years. But more than that, she was angry at herself. She should’ve noticed how Columbina was feeling, should’ve said something earlier. She had no clue that Columbina felt so strongly about what happened that she would curse her own life, and that made her more upset than anything else.
“It doesn’t matter anymore if my destruction was worth it or not. We’re both alive, and we made it out far better than we could’ve. What we went through to get here is irrelevant, just that we made it here at all. If you regret not looking at me before, then look at me more now. If you regret the time we lost, then keep nagging at me for years to come. If you won’t tell me what’s wrong, then how is it any better than before?”
Columbina had never heard Sandrone’s voice shake before. Neither had Sandrone herself. The position they were in did not allow her to look up at Sandrone’s expression, and Sandrone was thankful for that.
“Sandrone…I’m sorry…”
“Stop saying that…”
Both of them now sat there, clinging to each other in a way they never did before. Columbina let herself cry freely, while Sandrone’s circuits took the time to cool off from an overdrive of emotions. Honestly, this was terribly overdue for both of them.
They didn’t leave the couch that night. It wasn’t very comfortable, but neither of them were willing to separate even for the minute it’d take to walk to the bedroom. Still, all they needed to feel comfort was that they were together. As long as that persisted, neither of them cared where they were.