Chapter Text
the absolute last person ilya expected to see when he woke up was jackie pike. or more specifically, jackie pike with a hand draped over his waist.
he jumped up so fast he might as well have teleported. how could he let this happen?! what would shane do when he found out?! better yet, what would hayden do? ground his face into the ice at the next game, that was for sure. he was so lost in his thoughts that he almost didn’t hear jackie when she spoke.
“morning sweetheart.”
what the utter fuck?! what alternate universe did ilya just wake up in?! he slowly turned around, wondering if hayden was somehow behind him, waiting to beat his ass with a hockey stick. he wasn’t. he turned back around, pointing to himself. “who, me?”
jackie, who clearly thought this was a joke, laughed. laughed! “yes, you! get over here!”
ilya tentatively went and sat at the edge of the bed, looking over at her. she sat up and gave him a kiss on the cheek, which made ilya even more confused. what did he get himself into last night? he didn’t get drunk, he didn’t hit his head, and this definitely wasn’t a dream. so what the hell was happening? jackie hit him lightly on the arm. “hayd, babe, what’s wrong?”
hayd? oh, hell no. he stumbled off the bed away from her into the bathroom. where he was met in the mirror with hayden pike. hayden fucking pike. montreal’s 15th best hockey player. how was this even real? he raised his left arm. mirror hayden followed. he raised his right arm. mirror hayden did the same thing. he pinched himself. definitely awake. so how was he, ilya rozanov, hayden? he walked back out of the bathroom to jackie, who looked extremely concerned. “are you okay? you look like you just got slammed into the boards.”
“i am fine. is nothing to worry about.” he didn’t know why he felt the need to lie, but for some strange reason, it calmed him down. and besides, jackie didn’t need to know that her husband wasn’t actually her husband.
he reached for his phone, no, hayden’s phone-fuck this was weird-where it was charging on the nightstand. the screen lit up with a photo of pike and his 100 kids. 12:21 in the afternoon. the universe really hated him, didn’t it? he swiped up to the passcode screen without much thought before realizing that he didn’t know it.
“um, jackie?” she looked up at him from where she was glancing at her phone.
“yeah?”
“what is my passcode? just, um, humor me.” she raised an eyebrow at him, the concerned expression coming back to her face.
“3524. you and shane’s jersey numbers? why?” ew.
“of all things he-i mean i-could have made it, i made it me and shane’s jersey numbers?!”
“i’m pretty sure i just said that babe. are you sure you’re okay?” he nodded calmly, but god, he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t freaking out right now. but he knew one thing. or, one person. he dialed his number and called.