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The goofy ah adventures of MC and Vamp.
(because no fucker has written any fics of this game and I think that's terrible.)
"Y'know when I applied to work at this place, it didn't say anywhere on the job description that I'd be babysitting a brain damaged vampire.'" MC says, staring down at Vamp who, for the upteenth time that night, had tripped over his feet whilst doing something stupid and crashed to the floor, knocking a tonne of cereal boxes down with him. "Honestly Vamp, if you weren't already dead, I'd say you were trying to get yourself killed." They help Vamp to his feet, grimacing at the sticky half-dried remains of a slushy that dripped from his sleeve.
"Bleh bleh" (I was just trying to help), Vamp responds sheepishly (or vampirishly), he stands twiddling with his thumbs guiltily, doing his best impression of puppy dog eyes. "Bleh bleh bleh bleh" (you can't stay mad at me, I'm just an adorable little goof UwU), Vamp says, posing like an anime character.
MC looks at the wall, as if there was an invisible camera, like in the office. "I'm not getting paid enough for this." They pick up the closest box of discount cereal, 'oops all broken glass and heroin needles'. "who the hell would buy this?" They flip the box and read the back of it, "oh it's gluten free and vegan, that explains it." MC looks Vamp in the eyes, and whacks him over the head with the cereal box; the deranged contents clattering and crunching as they do this. "you goof ball."
"Bleh!" (the old man's back, don't let him in!) Vamp says, gesturing to the window. MC, reaches behind the till and pulls out a baseball bat, then walks over to the glass door and opens it.
"How many times do we have to teach you this lesson old man!" They Naruto run at the old man, swinging the bat wildly as they do so. The old man, (life likely flashing before his eyes) skedaddles. MC stands there, baseball bat resting on their shoulder, looking triumphantly into the distance. Vamp, like the damsel in distress, runs out of the gas-station.
"BLEH BLEH!" (My hero!) Vamp says dramatically, running into MC's arms. MC then lifts Vamp into the air and spins him around (like those dancer people do). They however severely underestimated how light Vamp is and accidentally lets go of him, he spins of into the air like a helicopter, only landing after a good few minutes. A layer of snow was now covering his blazer.
"had a nice trip?" MC asks, struggling to hold back the urge to laugh.
"Bleh bleh bleh, bleh, bleh bleh"(Yes, I saw the cosmos, the endless expanse of space, I now know my true purpose was to be a musician and tour the world, making space themed music for 18-25 year olds.) Vamp says, shaking snow off of his shoulders.
"wait for real?"
"Bleh" (no, it was just cold as fuck.)
The two of them then decide to finish working (or watching MC work, when it came to Vamp) and just go back to their apartment and watch TV for the rest of the night.