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It was not a good day. Puppy felt weird and all she could think of was to go home and get cared after by her caregiver and Partner, Maze. It was one of those day where Puppy felt like she couldn’t keep up with her peers. Some days she would be brave and be proud of herself, for example when she talked with someone she didn’t talk a lot before or when she managed to take part in conversations. But most days she felt like she didn’t fit in at all. Like everyone hated her and didn’t want her to be around. She just didn’t know how to act around people.
Sometimes she managed to feel comfortable for a short while, which would make her very fun to be around because she could just make the funniest jokes, but sadly it wouldn’t last long. She doesn’t like to be around many people a lot since she feels like she’s only a burden to them because she can’t seem to be funny with them no matter how much she tries. That makes her feel very lonely and depressed which is why she tries to avoid social contact as much as possible. Maybe she just isn’t made for talking a lot of words, being a puppy can be really difficult when someone needs to live a human life.
Most times its as if her body doesn’t even belong to her, she thinks about doing something or saying something but she never actually does it because she just can’t manage to actually make it physically. All her conversations are just in her head, like a daydream, even tho the conversation is happening right in that moment, and her body just moves on its own which makes it impossible for her to actually do what she thinks about doing next.
She just feels like she lives her own life somewhere in a different dimension even tho she knows that she’s physically there but only her body is there and she wishes to be invisible so she wouldn’t look so stupid watching her comrades talk to eachother and have fun. Watching the others feels nice, if only the feeling of being a burden and useless bystander would leave her while she watches the scenes… But she had enough about thinking about that stupid stuff, all this thinking made her feel tired and her body felt heavy from all the sadness. Just some more meters to walk and shed finally be home again.
As soon as puppy came home she let out some sad whines. Her Caregiver, Maze, already stood at the entrance with open arms. She heared the keys turn in the lock before, which made her know that her Puppy came home. Puppy texted her before when she would come home, but her messages seemed rushed and had excessive typing mistakes in them.
Puppy fell in Mazes arms and hugged her as if her life depended on it. Maze knew exactly what that meant. „Rough day, huh? Don’t worry now, im here. Everything will be good.“ Her Puppy was in need of comfort so she picked her up and went to the couch.
As soon as Puppy was picked up, she forgot all about her day. It was just her and her Caregiver. They cuddled for a bit until Maze decided to bring her puppy into the bathroom to Change her clothes and get ready for a cozy evening. On the way there she grabbed a puppy potty mat from the closet which she then placed it on the floor next to the tub, so her puppy wouldn’t be cold while laying on the floor. She took her clothes off and made her lay there obedient, although puppy didn’t really listen to the command.
„I need to put you down for a bit. I’m right beside you“, said maze as she placed her puppy carefully back on the potty mat. Puppy whined a bit, she didn’t like to be separated from her owner. She was about to follow her but Maze already knew her puppy’s habits so she turned around with a serious expression and lifted her index finger to get her pups attention. This gesture made puppy halt. Maze didn’t need any words and after a little pause puppy understood what she needed to do. Owner said stay, so she tried to be brave and be a good girl by going back on the mat, making a little turn to position herself again.
„Good girl“ Maze had a smile on her face now, which made puppy happy. At least the door was open and puppy could still see her getting something from the room just a bit around the corner.
Puppy hasn’t been so deep in headspace since a long time. She was fully a real life Puppy now, which made her feel a lot better. And as she felt the urge to pee, she didn’t even need to think about it as there was already a wet sensation on her legs. Puppy didn’t mind tho, the warm sensation only put her deeper into headspace.
She usually liked to turn around and feel the warm sensation flowing over her body. Sure, if she was out of the headspace she would think that its weird because other people wouldn’t like that but deep down, and especially in those moments, she knew that it was one of the most pleasing feelings she had experienced. It was warm and sticky and it always made her feel as if her mind was blurry. The pleasing feeling of the usually forbidden release in any position or place that was not like going to the toilet was all she could think of in that moment. It felt good to just let go, to not even need to think about what her body was doing.If she could, she would let her owner make every decision for her, she didn’t need her own thoughts. The only rules would be her owners words and all her brain would need to think about was to bark when wanting something.
As her owner came back to see her blurry eyed puppy sprawled over the now wet mat, she exclaimed a bit surprised: „My sweet puppy still doesn’t seem to be litter trained. What am i going too do with you. My sweet little puppy is so little, she didn’t even learn how to use the litter box yet.“ Maze said that in a soft, teasing tone. She just knew how to make her pup happy. Even tho Puppy didn’t understand the words, seeing her owner happy made her happy too. So she jumped back on her paws and tried to get on to owners lap.
„Careful now puppy, you’re all wet! Seems like someone needs to take a bath“
She picked her puppy up to put her into the bathing tub. She’d only clean her off a little with the shower head. Puppy didn’t like to be bathed so she tried to crawl out of the tub multiple times. Feeling the Water on her skin made her feel nervous and it felt a bit confusing when Maze touched her skin to clean it. It was weird to feel her Caregiver wash her body, but she somehow also liked it. Just a quick dry with the towel and she was finally done.
„Now since you’re all clean, lets get ready for sleep“ Maze picked up her puppy and carried her to the bedroom. „Let’s get you dressed up nice for Maze, okay?“ She took out a diaper and a funny Onesie, the now tired puppy still on her shoulder.
After she was all diapered and given her chew toy, they went to lay on the bed. Puppy felt nice and secure and before they could say goodnight, she already fell asleep, curled up on mazes side. „What a tired puppy, I love you a lot, please never forget that.“, Maze whispered as she stroked Puppy’s back softly.