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The flowers arrived as suddenly as the realization about her feelings for Tamon Fukuhara. For the real, Gloomyhara side of Tamon hiding behind his dazzling stage persona. They gave no prior warning, no sore throat, no shortness of breath. One day she was fine, and the next she was coughing up tiny purple petals into her bathroom sink, with tears in her eyes and a flowery but bitter taste on her tongue.
For a moment Utage could only stare at the petals garnishing the white porcelain in utter disbelief. Her fingers curled around the cold edge of the sink as the realization settled in.
Hanahaki.
A vicious disease stemming from unrequited love. It made flowers grow in your lungs, eventually suffocating you. The only two known cures were the feelings becoming requited or the surgical removal of the flowers, which also happened to remove your feelings and memories of the person you loved. It was an especially cruel disease, because if you happened to fall in love with someone who didn’t love you back, you’d end up losing them either way. Either you died or forgot all about them.
Most of the people obviously chose the surgery – why would anyone want to die for someone who didn’t love them back in the first place? However, there still was a quite significant share of people who desperately clung on to hope till the end. Some people found it romantic, some said it was pure stupidity.
Utage thought it was neither. Unrequited love was tragic. Hanahaki was a cruel joke by the universe.
And now she had fallen victim to it.
She had tried to keep their relationship purely professional. A housekeeper and her employer. A fan and her oshi. She never expected them to become friends. She never expected to find herself falling for Tamon’s anxious true self. She had failed miserably, and now she was going to pay for her mistake.
With tears in her eyes and quiet sobs rocking her body, she gathered the tiny, wet lilac petals in her hands. They were delicate under her fingers, and their fragrance reminded her of a perfumeria. The scent still lingered in the air even after she had wrapped them in toilet paper, crushed them and flushed them down the toilet.
She had no need for a reminder of her failure as Tamon’s fan and friend.
An idol group stopped mid-performance after a fan storms the stage to confess her feelings
By Tanaka Ayaka | September 20th, 2025
Yokohama
An Osakan idol group KOMEE7 was forced to stop their Yokohama Arena performance after a fan stormed the stage in order to confess her feelings for the leader, Asahi Riku, on Saturday night.
The group was midway through their sold-out show at the 17 000 seat Yokohama Arena, when a 21-year old woman local to Yokohama climbed over the security fence and rushed to the stage. The video footage captured and posted by multiple concertgoers show her running towards Asahi, grabbing his hands and shouting something that was later confirmed to be a love confession. Afterwards, she can be seen collapsing and vomiting flowers on the stage floor.
Shaken by the incident, KOMEE7 was unable to continue with the concert. The information about the ticket refunds will be announced at the later date.
The woman was allegedly suffering from late-stage hanahaki disease and was rushed to the hospital. Her condition is currently unknown.
Hanahaki is a rare disease affecting people with…
The thing was, Utage knew her only option was the surgery. She had no desire to die, and she was fairly certain Tamon didn’t love her in a way that would satisfy the flowers growing in her lungs. At most, he loved her like a friend, fan or even a family member, and that was okay. In the highly improbable case he secretly harbored some kind of romantic feelings for her, she knew they could never become anything more than friends. Tamon was an idol, and even if she wasn’t privy to his contracts, she was pretty sure the company wouldn’t approve of him dating anyone, especially his underage housekeeper.
And even if it pained her heart to let Tamon go forever, to completely forget him, she just couldn’t take him from his fans, from the world. She refused to let her weak heart ruin Tamon’s reputation, career and future. She would continue supporting him as long as she could, take the suffering and conceal it till the day of the surgery.
After that they both would be free from her troublesome feelings.
If only it wasn’t so hard to bid Tamon goodbye.
“You’re getting worse”, Riko commented one day after witnessing Utage emptying her lungs from the bloody flowers mid their study session. “You should start considering the surgery before it’s too late.”
Yuina nodded in agreement next to her, both of them looking at Utage with unconcealed concern.
“Just a little longer”, she said after managing to catch her breath. The world was spinning around her, and she had to brace herself against the trash can. The bloody mess within filled her senses with the familiar flowery aroma that nowadays only made her gag. “I still have things to do before– before I forget it all.”
“Utage. No idol is worth your life”, Yuita said, with a small, gentle voice. Utage hadn’t noticed her moving closer until she felt her friend’s hand on her shoulder. “Not even Tamon. Please, I– we can’t bear to see you like this.”
At first she had considered keeping the reason for her hanahaki secret, but after thinking it over for more than two seconds, she had realized that it’d be impossible. She had been such a die-hard Tamon fan that everyone and their grandma would notice her sudden Tamon-centric amnesia. So she had told her family and friends the partial truth and let them believe she was another one of those obsessive fans who couldn’t keep their distance from their idols. She never told them it was deeper than that, that she actually knew Tamon and worked for him. That they were friends. She couldn’t risk any of them getting ideas and trying to confront him.
“I just need a little time. I have to get rid of all of this”, she said, heart breaking, and gestured at the Tamon merch all around her room, “and I want to make sure I don’t forget you two, too. Tamon has been a big part of our lives. We met because of him! Forgetting him and everything related to him… What will be left, then?”
She had found herself pondering that quite often as of late. Losing Tamon for good was already bad enough – what would she do if she remembered none of her friends upon awakening from the surgery? What would she do if her life suddenly became just a blank canvas?
“You’ll always be our friend, with or without Tamon”, Riko, who had moved to sit by her side as well, murmured softly while hugging her. “No man can tear us apart, idol or not.”
Utage felt her lips curling into a small smile as she wrapped her arms around her best friends. Her eyes and cheeks were wet with tears and a lone sob left her throat. “I love you guys.”
“We love you too”, Yuina and Riko replied simultaneously before pausing and giggling at each other. Tears were flowing from everyone’s eyes as they huddled together and held on to each other.
And Utage thought she would really hate to lose a friendship like that.
One dead in an invasion to a pop idol’s home
By Minato Sora | May 4th, 2021
Tokyo
An invasion of J-pop idol Aoyama Mika’s home led to one death late on Tuesday evening.
Just before midnight on Tuesday evening, Tokyo Metropolitan Police got a call about a possible home invasion. Upon arriving at the scene, the police discovered the body of a man in Aoyama’s home. According to Aoyama, the man, identified as 26 year old Nanase Yuto, had broken into her home to confess his romantic feelings for her.
When she didn’t reciprocate his feelings, Nanase allegedly suffocated on flowers and died.
The police suspect Nanase was suffering from hanahaki disease which may have led to his death.
Hanahaki is also known as…
Getting rid of her Tamon merch proved to be a difficult task even with Yuina and Riko’s help. Every notebook full of her scriptures, every album full of Tamon’s pictures, and every piece of merchandise were so brimmed with memories that it was hard to let go. More times than not her friends had to coax her to let go and in some cases, they actually had to pry her fingers off the items. She knew it had to be done, but she couldn’t stop sobbing and wailing like a child that had her toys taken away.
The cleanup took a whole day, and in the end, no traces of Tamon could be seen in Utage’s room. All of the merch was going to be sold by her friends, and her writings and crafts were going into safekeeping at Yuita’s house. If her hanahaki allowed it, she could get them back someday for nostalgic reminiscing.
She wasn’t sure if she wanted that, but she wasn’t going to argue.
Her phone was also emptied of all the Tamon fan accounts along with the pictures she had saved on her cloud accounts. Luckily she had been organized, so it was as easy as just deleting her Tamon folders. Her hands shook the whole time as her friends watched like hawks that she removed everything. Her camera roll was a trickier issue, because she knew she had a few pictures of Tamon’s non stage persona there. Fortunately her friends understood she didn’t want them to see the entirety of her camera roll, so they allowed her to empty it in private later.
After changing her background picture to a photo of the three of them, Riko, Yuita and Utage herself, her eyes lingered on the LINE app. She was somewhat glad that Keito had forbidden her and Tamon from exchanging numbers. At least that way she didn’t have to come up with excuses why she was suddenly ghosting Tamon or why she had deleted him from her contacts. She was also glad she hadn’t accepted his invitation to come visit her house just yet. She didn’t need him harassing her family when he didn’t hear about her anymore.
After her friends left, she remained standing still in her empty room. After spending years seeing Tamon’s face everywhere she looked, the bare room felt foreign. It was too big and too spacious. Something not hers anymore. It wasn’t by no means the first time she had cleared her room of her Tamon merch, but this time it felt different. More devastating, more final. It was like a part of her had been removed, leaving behind only an empty shell.
Silent tears rolled to her cheeks as her fingers touched carefully the Kappa roll figurines Tamon had gifted her not too long ago. They weren’t obvious fan merch so they had been saved from the purge. Maybe she should have gotten rid of them as well, but she couldn’t. Along with the pink scrunchie she was currently wearing, they were one of the few gifts she had gotten from Tamon, and she couldn’t bear the thought of treating his gifts like trash.
Besides, she wouldn’t be remembering their origins anyways.
She closed her eyes and took a deep, shaky breath. The day she had to make the final choice about the surgery was rapidly approaching, and she really had too little time to completely stop everything to feel sorry for herself. She still had to write letters or diaries to herself reminding her of her friends and what had transpired. She was willing to let her future self think the same as everyone else, that she was just a crazy fan lusting after her oshi. Her future self didn’t need to know how deep the feelings had actually been.
And… she had to pack. She had claimed the change in scenery would help her recuperate faster but in truth, she couldn’t risk herself running into Tamon soon after the surgery. Even though it usually happened only in romantic dramas, it wasn’t totally unheard of to regain at least part of your memories after spending time with the person you once loved. But with the returned memories came the risk of contracting hanahaki again, which, almost always, was fatal the second time around. That’s why it was important to keep your distance until your mind settled into the new normal. That’s why she needed to leave the city and spend some years out of Tokyo.
Both Tamon and her needed to move on from their mutually obsessive friendship.
As the grief welled inside of her, she had to cover her mouth to muffle the sob tearing her throat. Oh, how she wanted to be angry at Tamon, blame him for not loving her back or being so unobtainable that there never would be any chance for them to be together. She wanted to blame him for being forced to uproot her whole life. But she couldn’t. None of those were his fault. The only one she could blame was herself. Her weakness was the sole reason for her illness, loss and grief. She should have kept her distance. She should have turned away the moment she realized who her client actually was. She should have resisted Tamon’s puppy eyes when he begged her to come back after her first resignation. She shouldn’t have accepted his friendship.
She was like Icarus flying too close to the sun, but instead of falling and drowning, she was going to be suffocated by tiny lilac flowers. It was her divine punishment for tainting a god with her blasphemous desire.
The police suspects the motive of Nagazumi murder-suicide being unrequited love
By Takeda Kenji | January 16th, 2023
Fukuoka
Fukuoka prefectural police suspects that the motive behind the Nagazumi murder-suicide, that took place in December last year, was unrequited love.
The autopsy of the suspected killer, 46 year old Sugiyama Junko, showed substantial floral growth in her lungs, which is a typical sign of hanahaki disease. The police suspects she was trying to confess her feelings to her former classmate Yamamoto Akira (46) before stabbing him to death and commiting suicide in her Nagazumi home in December last year.
Yamamoto was known for his internationally successful career as singer and songwriter.
The police won’t report on the crime any further until the investigation is complete.
Read more: Hanahaki disease
In the early spring, Tamon was finally done with the university entrance exams, and all there was to do was to wait for the results.
Utage, on the other hand, couldn't afford to wait anymore. The constant itch in her throat and taste of lilacs on her tongue reminded her how she was running out of time. She knew she was looking paler each day due to blood loss and she could feel her body getting weaker. Her family and friends’ pestering about the surgery was getting annoying, even though she knew they were just worried.
As for Tamon… he kept throwing worried glances at her and asking if she was alright. Guilt churned in her stomach as she lied about being fine. It was just a cold. Dust inhalation. Chronic issue. She knew she should have said her goodbyes a long time ago, but she didn’t want her weakness to be affecting Tamon’s exams. And if she wanted to enjoy his company as long as possible, who could possibly blame her?
(She decided to ignore the fact that the answer was probably everyone.)
During the nine months she and Tamon had known each other, he had gotten so much stronger. He still struggled with anxiety, but everyone could see he was starting to stand on his own feet. He had gotten much closer to his bandmates, and the group was tighter knit than ever before.
She was so proud of him.
But at the same time it pained her to acknowledge the fact that he would be fine even without her.
She had gotten accustomed to helping him get around the different hurdles the idol life threw at him. She loved to be the one he depended on the most, it gave her a feeling of having a purpose in her life. And it wasn’t all because of her admiration towards Tamon’s idol persona. Maybe in the beginning it had been, but as she learnt to know Tamon’s real, off-stage persona and fell in love, she couldn’t help but wish to be able to support him for the rest of their lives, even if it was from the sidelines only.
The thought about not being able to be there for him anymore filled her with grief.
After a particularly bad hanahaki attack, Utage realized she had run out of time. With a heavy heart she made the required arrangements with her parents and school, and scheduled herself for the surgery. She’d be moving to Hiroshima to live with her paternal grandparents in a few days. Her things were carefully packed up, with her letters to herself placed on the top. The only thing left was to say goodbye to Tamon and the others. While Tamon had taken the largest part of her heart for himself, she had found herself considering the rest of the F/ACE her friends as well. It would be rude and cruel to leave without saying anything.
So, leaving Tamon’s door for the last, she visited each of the members and bid them farewell. They bought her explanation about chronic illness and life-saving surgery with varying levels of acceptance but wished her well nevertheless. Keito thanked her for everything she had done for Tamon and F/ACE as whole, while reluctantly acknowledging that her actions might actually have helped to save the group. Natsuki thanked her for reuniting him with Asuka, while Rintarō was grateful for her help with Rinka. Ōri asked (demanded) her to remember his confession and watch as he became the biggest star of them all. Everyone also expressed their wishes to have her return soon, because Tamon would be insufferable without her.
She almost felt bad for what she was going to be putting them through. But on the other hand, Tamon was already a grown man and should be able to take care of himself. He didn’t need Utage holding his hand anymore.
With that last thought she knocked on Tamon’s door.
“Miss Kinoshita, I didn’t know you were coming today!” Tamon was smiling, and Utage’s heart jolted in her chest. Even out of his stage persona and with dark eyebags and unflattering slouch, Tamon was just beautiful. The sight of him stole her breath away for a moment, although that might have also been partially caused by the roots and vines coiling tighter around her lungs.
“I’m not working today. I–”, she started, but was interrupted by a cough ravaging her body. She could feel the petals on her tongue and taste their bitter aftertaste. Fortunately she was wearing a dark face mask that caught any rogue flowers trying to escape. “This is just a personal visit. May I come in?”
“Yeah, of course. Come in!” Tamon replied and stepped to the side to let her in. However, his dark eyes never strayed from her, and there was a small concerned frown on his face. “Are you still feeling ill? You've been wearing those masks for a while now. Do you need to lie down?”
She shook her head slowly. Her chest tightened at Tamon’s concerned expression and words, but she couldn’t let herself linger on them any longer unless she wanted to have another coughing fit. She had started wearing the masks soon after getting diagnosed with hanahaki. It wasn’t ideal to work for hours with a mask on her face, but she didn’t want anyone, especially Tamon, to notice the bloodied flowers left at her wake.
He didn’t need to know.
After removing her shoes, she stepped into his kitchen. She looked around, basking in all the memories they had made together in the small apartment: their long idol-training sessions, Tamon’s chaotic cooking and mental breakdowns, and the quiet evenings while he studied and she cleaned. She wanted to save everything in her memory for one last time, before everything would be wiped away.
Tamon shifted on his feet, clearly unsettled by her prolonged silence. “Miss Kinoshita…?”
His quiet, unsure voice brought her back to the present from her memories, reminding her of her reason for visiting him in the first place. Slowly, she turned to him, steeled herself and took as deep a breath as she dared in her current situation. Reminding herself she was doing all that for Tamon, she finally looked him in the eyes.
“I came to tell you personally that I’m resigning from your service, starting today”, she said before she could chicken out. She cringed how formal her words and tone sounded – they were definitely not something friends would use with one another.
“W-what?” Tamon was clearly caught off guard. His jaw dropped and eyes widened in panic. He took a few steps closer to her and eventually crowded her against his kitchen counter.
Utage felt her face heating up at the sudden proximity and behind her mask, she bit her lip hard to keep the surging flowers down. “I’m sorry, I–”
Tamon didn’t let her finish. Instead, he leaned closer until Utage could feel his frantic breaths on her skin. His words came out as a frenzied string of words. “Again? Why? Did I do something? Did you finally realize what kind of trash I–”
“Gloomyhara– Tamon, stop”, she cut in before Tamon could spiral any further. The intimacy made it difficult to think or breathe. Her heart was thundering in her chest, but at the same time she could feel it shattering at the pure despair appearing in Tamon’s eyes. “This has nothing to do with you.”
Her voice broke, as if it, too, was protesting her lies.
Tamon swallowed visibly and lowered his hands on Utage’s shoulders. His grasp was strong, almost too forceful for her liking, but she didn’t let the slight discomfort show on her face. She was more focused on Tamon’s close proximity and the tightness in her lungs. The air felt suddenly so much heavier.
“Then why?” Tamon’s voice was the very definition of a heartbreak. Seeing him like that made some cursed part of her to get hopeful, but she was quick to snuff out any of such thoughts. It didn’t matter. Even if the feelings were reciprocated, they could never be. Tamon belonged to the world, and she really shouldn’t try to hog him to herself.
“I– I’m ill. I have a lung condition that needs surgery”, she finally spoke. Despite telling the same half-truth four times already, her tongue felt stiff and heavy, like she was speaking for the first time in her entire life. “It’s a big surgery... It might take me a long time to recover.”
Tamon’s fingers tightened their hold on her. “What? Are you okay?”
“I’ll be. But I don’t know when I can return to housekeeping”, she replied and averted her eyes. “If I ever can. I– I wanted to say goodbye in person this time.”
“Why does this feel like you’re saying goodbye for good?” Tamon asked with a small, shaken voice. His fingers moved from her shoulder to her chin and lifted her face upwards to meet his desperate, dark blue eyes. Her skin heated up at the contact. “Despite your work contracts, we’re friends, aren’t we? Even if you couldn’t hold a broom ever again… you’d always be welcome here. It wasn’t your cleaning or cooking skills that made me to– that made me want to befriend you. I hope you’re aware of that.”
Utage’s heart clenched at Tamon’s fast-paced words, plunging her deeper into the endless pit of guilt and grief. Her eyes burned, and a few rogue tears fell to her cheeks. Now being faced with him, she had to acknowledge that she really didn’t want to give him or their friendship up, not like that. But she had to do it, not for herself but for him. She couldn’t allow herself to become a burden. She couldn’t be the one to hold him back.
Upon seeing the tears on her face, Tamon let out a small broken sound.
“I’m sorry! Please don’t cry!” he exclaimed and hurried to wipe the wetness off her face before they could soak her mask. By the panicked look on his face, she could tell he was about to enter another of his anxious, self-loathing spirals, and without thinking much about her actions, she took his hands in hers.
Tamon inhaled sharply at the sudden contact, while she herself felt like choking. His touch had been like electricity on her skin, and the tingling sensation lingered on her face long after spreading to her fingers. It took all of her willpower not to expel the flowers from her lungs right there and then.
“It’s okay. I– I was just touched by your words”, she tried to reassure him after managing to swallow the petals back down. Despite everything, she couldn’t bear seeing Tamon spiraling like that. She was trying to improve his life, after all, not cause any more mental health issues.
“No, I’m sorry. You shouldn’t have to try to comfort me after I made you cry”, Tamon said quietly and lowered his eyes to their joined hands. His fingers curled almost hesitantly around hers. ”Do– do you think you’re not going to make it? Is the surgery dangerous?”
Utage considered lying for a moment, only to ease Tamon’s mind. But she couldn’t bring herself to do it. She had lied enough already, and there was no reason to add unnecessary white lies to the pile. “They’re going to operate my lungs, so yes, it is dangerous”, she eventually admitted. Those were probably her first honest words that evening. “But I have faith in the doctors. Everything’s going to be fine.”
Tamon bit his lip and remained silent for a few moments. “...and if you don’t go?”
Her lips curved into a rueful smile, not that Tamon couldn’t see it behind the mask. “I’ll die.”
Tamon’s breath hitched at her brutally honest words, and he tightened his hold on her hands.
“Utage, I–”, he started but was unable to finish as his voice broke. Usually hearing him calling her name was like honey to her ears, making her heart skip a beat and skin flush. But this time, hearing it being said with such a shaky voice and desperation, only made her eyes burn while something ugly twisted in her chest. How she wished there was another way to deal with her illness, with her weakness. She never wanted to hurt Tamon, and her heart broke at seeing him so lost.
Deep down, she knew it was because he had gotten too dependent on her, his friend, his “Tokyo-mom”. She was probably the first one outside his agency to treat him like a person in years, so it was only natural for him to get so attached to her. It was not love, she kept telling herself, only some sort of a codependency. And now it was her duty to break things off and give him some tough love. She needed to show him he would be fine on his own. If only her heart had not been so weak.
She remained silent as Tamon took a few shaky breaths, clearly trying to steady himself out.
“Can I– Can I hug you?” he finally asked almost timidly.
Utage knew she shouldn’t. She really shouldn’t indulge him. Herself. Neither of them. Being so close to Tamon was already difficult. Having been touched by him had already sent the flowers in her lungs into a frenzy. But to be hugged by him? She might as well cancel the surgery because she was going to suffocate right there in Tamon’s arms.
But in the end, Utage’s resolve was brittle like dry autumn leaves. It had gotten her in the current mess and now it was taking her to an early grave. Because it took only a single grief-stricken look from Tamon to make her cave in. She gave him a hesitant, affirmative nod, and he didn’t waste any time wrapping his warm arms around her with a surprising gentleness. They shook with barely concealed tremors, and she felt herself sinking deeper into the pit of guilt.
Tamon pressed his face against her hair, and inhaled deeply.
“Please make sure to come back to me”, Tamon whispered in a broken, wet tone. He took another deep, shaky breath before tightening his hold on her. “I don’t think I can keep going without you.”
“I– I’ll try”, she managed to lie while fighting against the upwards surging flowers. Her trembling fingers grasped the back of Tamon’s hoodie as she buried her face in his shoulder. Through the thick smell of bloodied flowers lingering inside of her mask, she could pick out the specific laundry detergent Tamon tended to use and the unmistaken scent of Tamon himself. Her heart thrummed in yearning, and silent tears escaped her eyes, wetting the front of Tamon’s hoodie. The flowers churned in her chest, and she had to grind her teeth together to prevent any petals escaping her mouth.
I love you. She whispered the forbidden words in her mind, hoping that they somehow could reach him. Not the idol, but just you, Tamon.
It would be so easy to confess right there in Tamon’s arms. Confess and hope her feelings were reciprocated. Confess and get a chance to survive without the memory loss. But it was too late for daydreams. In her current state, she knew she wouldn’t survive the rejection that would be like turbo fertilizer to the flowers that had taken over her lungs. She couldn’t do that to Tamon. She couldn’t make him blame himself for ‘causing’ her hanahaki by not loving her back.
The itching in her throat and the burning in her eyes was getting unbearable, so with gentle hands, she finally pushed Tamon away. “I need to go now.”
“No, wait! I–” Tamon cried, eyes wide in panic as he took a quick look around the room as if he was searching for something. His hands patted his empty pockets before he turned back to Utage. “Can I borrow your phone?”
Not quite understanding what Tamon was trying to do, she nodded, unlocked her phone and gave it to Tamon, who started typing something almost immediately. When he finally gave it back, the screen showed a new contact with a phone number.
Trash
+81 90 XXX XXXX
Utage’s heart sank as she looked at the string of digits. The phone felt heavy in her cold hands. In the past, she would have been rejoiced for such a gift, but at the moment she felt only unworthy. It was definitely another one of the universe’s punishments for her. Dangling something so precious in front of her, when it was clear she could never actually use it.
“You don’t have to use it if you don’t want to, but…” Tamon started with a small voice. “I’d appreciate it if you texted me once the surgery is over. Let me know you’re alright. Please.”
Utage knew she wouldn’t. Once home, she’d have to delete the number for good. But she didn’t have any heart to voice the lie, so instead, she just pressed her phone and trembling hands against her chest and gave him a small nod. Her eyes burned as she looked up to him, trying to imprint his image on her mind one last time.
“Take care, Tamon. And goodbye.” There wasn’t much more she could say without breaking down.
Tamon swallowed visibly and blinked his red-rimmed eyes furiously. “Get well soon, Utage. I’ll be here waiting.”
The moment she was back on the street, she had to duck into a nearby alley, rip the mask off and let the bloody flowers be expelled from her lungs. Tears fell from her eyes, and dark spots filled her vision as she struggled to breathe. Between the harsh coughs, desperate sobs rocked her body.
While she was glad she had survived from saying Tamon goodbye, she couldn't stop her heart from breaking into a million tiny pieces as the last of the ties between them frayed away. The flowers in her lungs churned in satisfaction, feeding greedily on her despair and burrowing deeper into her bronchioles. It felt like all the oxygen was sucked out of the world, and for a moment she wondered if that’s what drowning felt like.
The world spun around her as full, bloody blossoms passed her lips and landed on the ground with a loud ‘splat’. They were followed by a river of blood, spit and tears. The bouquet of bloody lilacs painted a rather gruesome picture on the dark pavement, and she had to close her eyes as a wave of nausea hit her.
With some of the flowers gone, she felt like she could breathe again, albeit very weakly. Every inhale sent a stab of pain through her chest, accompanied by wheezing and rattling that she was sure were audible to everyone within the block. Her legs shook as she finally stood up and turned away from the gory mess on the ground.
Even though her heart begged her to turn around and run back up to Tamon’s door, she knew she couldn’t stay. She was running out of time, and she really couldn’t afford anyone catching her in such a pitiful state. Bidding Tamon the last goodbye in her mind, she forced her weak body to move and started the long journey back to home where her luggage was already waiting.
She didn’t look back.
Because if she did, she could never leave.