Chapter Text
It’s no secret that Ilya was Grigori and Irina’s favorite son. In the big things and little things, an extra snack in little Ilyushka’s lunch box, Alexei’s unsigned letters from school, the push to get Ilya into hockey, the denial of Alexei’s own club request. They could only afford Ilya’s gear and Alexei wasn’t worth it apparently.
Ilya was always first, Alexei is always last. The only thing Ilya was last to was being born. Alexei still remembers the time he held his baby brother in his arms, he had no idea then that it would be the last time their parents looked upon him with love.
He hates Ilyusha. He is always first to everything, the first to eat his birthday cake too, his stupid cherubic face smeared with icing before he could get a slice. He’s always first, and Alexei only wishes it comes to bite him in the ass one day. He gets his birthday wish, one, maybe two years later, one mundane afternoon after school.
Ilya is the first to find mama.
The front door is wide open and Alexei immediately thinks to get a bat, something is wrong.
He turns a corner to the first bedroom.
Alexei finds Ilya next to mama, snuggled up to her cold body, eyes glassy like fish. Her skin is grey, it’s been hours.
No. Not like this.
“Oh Ilyusha-“
His little brother is shaking and crying uncontrollably.
“Mama is gone.”
“It’s not your fault Ilyushenka. I’m going to call-”
Who do you call? Papa? An ambulance? Would it matter when she’s already cold and—oh God Ilya had been the one to find her first. How long has it been since she—what did she take? God, why?
“Ilyusha-“
Ilya sobs, whines into Alexei’s shoulder as he figures out what he needs to do next, his own tears starting to fall.