Chapter Text
Peace was such a hard thing to get used to, weirdly enough.
At least, that’s what Sasuke thought. And it wasn’t so hard to have such doubts about the quiet and peacefulness that the world was experiencing when not even five years prior, the whole shinobi world seemed on the border of its end.
Sasuke hadn’t felt peace since that one dreadful night when he was eight years old and suddenly found himself to be the last of his clan, with his beloved older brother being the one to force him into a self-inflicted, mental isolation.
The closest he had felt to achieving an absolute peace of mind were those brief, happy moments that Team 7 went through, be it during a mission that only served to get them all closer together, or the breaks they had after missions where more often than not, Sasuke was dragged against his will to the small Team 7 gatherings.
At the time, he had deemed such time spent with them as both detrimental to his goal and training, but now he could finally admit to himself that those were precious memories that lit up his world just a little more when he had perceived himself to be surrounded by a persistent darkness.
Although he had tried desperately to break the bonds that tied him to the team, it was as if their mere presence stuck like glue to his heart; they just weren’t able to get rid of so easily. So when he failed to try and crush that part of him that belonged in a place–with team 7– where it was much brighter and happier than what he was supposed to indulge in on his path to seek revenge, Sasuke chose to instead completely repress any good memory or feeling that could be brought forth by Team 7. Such process had almost completely worked when the truth of his clan’s massacre and the council’s involvement in such an atrocity had been revealed. He had almost been free of his attachments, therefore, free of the world itself, but of course, later he was set straight by the knucklehead shinobi that was Naruto.
Now that the war was over, Sasuke allowed himself to accept what he had always known unconsciously: Team 7 was the only good thing left in his life. That, and some other harsh truths that he had been blind to due to his need for revenge.
Yes, he now accepted the fact that not all inhabitants of Konoha were guilty of the Uchiha’s demise or of directing his older brother to eliminate said clan. He accepted that fact, but he did not accept that the people directly involved with turning his life upside down in the worst way possible still held power in the village and had faced zero consequences for indirectly killing a whole clan–his family.
Before he had left the village for his trip of atonement, there was a small fragment of hope that stubbornly believed that when he came back, things in the village would be different. A new set of elders would be put in charge, his clan’s name would finally be put at ease, and people would learn from the war and what led to it to finally aim to better the village and its foundation. A small part of him hoped. The system put in place had done too much harm to not just him, but also to the person who was like a brother to him: Naruto. Knowing that Naruto would achieve the position of Hokage and could therefore change the village for the better, Sasuke had felt a weight off his shoulders.
His closest friend would be different from the previous Hokage before him. Naruto had felt the village’s neglect and had been one of the people first in line to observe as the corruption within the village and its council had done its best to bury and taint the Uchiha. Sasuke genuinely believed that he would aim to change Konoha.
And yet, there was that rational side of him that whispered cruel yet logical observations. One side of him that had taken these years while he was away from Konoha to almost convince him of one truth: Justice would not be served to his clan or to Sasuke himself. That was the reason for his distress. He knew that after all the people he had killed, attempted to kill, and the people he had associated himself with, there was no possible way of seeking justice for someone like himself who was marked as the world's worst criminal. Still, Internal peace could not seek him while he continued to be tormented by the actions and presence of the unpunished elders who still held their power and reputation. It was a terrible feeling to witness the monsters you so hated be revered by ignorant people who weren't aware of even the slightest peck that colored the blood-wrinkled hands of the elders.
The system that had been implemented since the village’s founding wouldn't change so easily, and the people who had been chosen to take a seat in one of the village’s most powerful positions had been there long enough to engrave their names into the position. Naruto could try as much as he could at first, but Sasuke understood that the good-willed and freshly-trained blond wasn’t enough yet to get those elders out of those seats. Not now and possibly never. Not if he wanted his clan’s reputation to take a much worse turn for the worst than it already was.
That was possibly a huge reason as to why the thought of returning to Konoha--returning back to the village where the elders resided and presently thrived--left him with a bitter taste in his mouth. No matter how much he had wanted to--and secretly still wanted to--make those elders suffer for all the heinous acts against the Uchiha, Sasuke was aware that any other attempts against the elders could not be excused as his past crimes were. He couldn't be condemned and be on the edge of receiving a death sentence again. He couldn't do that to the Uchiha again. He couldn't do that to Team 7 again.
Not when he had yet to see that Usuratonkachi become Hokage and stick to his word and change the Shinobi world. Not when he had yet to burn that pervert Kakashi's poorly disguised porn collection. And Sakura...
Sakura.
In front of Konoha's front gates, Sasuke ran his thumb on his pointer and middle finger, still remembering the contact he had left on Sakura's forehead and the fluttering, warm feeling that still stayed with him upon remembering her awfully cute, flustered face. He had never done such a gesture to anyone before, especially not that one. The one that Itachi had always used on him and had slowly turned into a gesture meant to be forgotten after the massacre--after Itachi's 'betrayal'. That moment between Sakura and him before his departure had slowly roused awake something within him that he'd thought he had left behind that cursed night he left her behind. And a great awakening it was. A little piece of Sakura could be found within every little aspect of his travels be it the scenery, the people, and even just the healing that took place in his journey. He wasn't even doing it consciously or willingly. It just happened. The same could be said for his family and for the remaining members of Team 7, but in a trip where he forced himself to confront his own wrongdoings and learn of the whole world itself, Sasuke unconciously found comfort in the thought of Sakura.
Thinking about her was enough to act as a soothing balm on burning skin. He had told Sakura that she had nothing to do with his sins, but curse him, Sasuke couldn't stop relishing at the thought of her and her warmth when he lost himself in his own dark thoughts. And those thoughts were plenty and frequent.
In a way, it was a good thing he hadn't brought Sakura with him on his journey. Just the thought of his odd behavior making things awkward between him and Sakura caused his ears to redden. With the way he had uncharacteristically acted with just the thought of her presence, Sasuke was sure once again that it was a good thing he hadn't brought Sakura.
But then again...
The sleeping pile that was actually just Izumo and Kotetsu moved and when Izumo's bleary eye caught notice of Sasuke, he hurriedly woke up and shook Kotetsu awake. With both of them now at attention and sheepishly looking away from each other, Sasuke sighed.
It's not like they were fooling anyone. Anyone with functioning eyes would know those two were really good 'friends'. To the point of holding each other intimately of course. What a friendship. Even Naruto would do better at hiding his relationship.
With just the slightest embarrassment from Kotetsu and Izumo from being caught, Sasuke faced no difficulties with getting access into the village.
Although he had thought himself to be unbothered, the moment he put one step forward into the village, a sick feeling sprouted within Sasuke. There was nothing wrong. There were the usual street vendors, the mischievous kids playing around, and there were the shinobi running on top of the buildings. Nothing unusual and a sight that was common with any other village, but there was something that still bothered him with observing the happiness of everyone around him while knowing that the people at the top of the village had gotten rid of his people that would have undoubtedly be doing the exact same thing--just with it happening at the outskirts of the village, of course.
It stung. It more than stung, actually. It almost physically pained him even after two years of being away and trying to accept the truth and make peace with it. It seemed some things just wouldn't seem to change, unfortunately.
Eager to rid himself of the dark pit he was slowly carving for himself, Sasuke made his way to the main street. He tried to stick to the shadows and maneuver himself around the huge groups of people crowding the street. Now more than ever, Sasuke felt the need to be unseen. He should probably make his way to the Hokage tower and report back to Kakashi after coming back from his travels.
Sasuke's eyes caught sight of the kanji for Fire and recognized the building he was thinking about. That's where his feet should have taken him. Instead, his body chose to act on its own and take him to the new and definitely bigger hospital that immediately took more importance once he noticed it from a distance.
A strand of pale pink hair flashed behind his eyes. If he wasn't mistaken, she should still be at the hospital. Maybe it was a little unprofessional and selfish to come back to the village and instantly fail at reporting back to the Hokage, but honestly?
Sasuke couldn't find himself to care at the moment.
There was just one thing he wanted to do. That he had wanted to do the moment he had truly realized the extent of his feelings toward the person he knew he didn't deserve, but that he knew he needed to keep going toward the light. Sasuke was being selfish. Maybe she had moved on. Maybe she had fallen for someone else while he was away, and yet Sasuke found himself thinking that she belonged beside no one else but him.
And he was going to prove it to her.
The window was already wide open the moment his feet touched the window ledge. His vision was blocked by the fluttering curtains moving with the wind but at the next moment, the sight that met his eyes was one that alleviated the pain he felt.
A desk piled with mountains of papers. A cup of tea that had gone cold a long time ago. More importantly, the sleeping pink-haired woman resting her face on her arms. Seeing her after so long made him emotional. He couldn't help the loud sound of his voice as he uttered her name gently, almost reverently.
"Sakura."
Green eyes snapped open. It was to be expected she'd wake up at just the slightest noise. They were in the village, but danger was everywhere. Still, he wasn't aware of just how much he could find himself to be endeared by the sight of a recently woken up Sakura. With her disheveled hair and clothes and the slightest trail of saliva on the corner of her mouth, Sasuke took a mental snapshot of the moment Sakura realized her state and frantically tried to make herself look a bit more presentable.
"Sasuke-kun! You--When? I--" Sakura looked extremely flustered at the circumstances she found herself in while she finally reunited with Sasuke.
While Sakura shyly fumbled around with her hands trying to smooth her hair and the creases on her clothes, Sasuke couldn't help the slightest hint of a smile from appearing on his face. Two years had gone by and some of her mannerisms around him remained the same. That alone relieved some of his worries.
"...Sasuke-kun?"
Snapping back to the moment, Sasuke met Sakura's eyes. Said eyes curved beautifully along a soft smile that stole his breath. Her eyes glistened with so many emotions, all evoking a need to have her as close to him as possible.
"Welcome home...Sasuke-kun."
Home. Home wasn't this village that had taken everything from him. Home wasn't this village that kept the system that could very well produce another tragedy like that of the Uchiha.
Home was like the feeling of truly belonging. of truly being loved and being at peace.
"Aa. I'm home."
Home was like Sakura.