Chapter Text
it started as a stupid joke. aonung was sprawled on his gaming chair in front of his desk, his laptop open as it flashed harsh hues of blues and purples onto his teal skin. behind him, neteyam had already fallen asleep on their apartment bed as soft snores escaped his lips. he was up at two midnight in a discord call with his friends as he watched koro streaming some stupid horror game, screaming every five seconds while nashvi laughed like a dying engine in the background. rotxo kept trying to give directions that koro absolutely ignored, and ongu was just there in the call, occasionally dropping the most unhelpful comments imaginable.
it started as a stupid joke.
aonung was sprawled on his gaming chair in front of his desk, his laptop open as it flashed harsh hues of blues and purples onto his teal skin. behind him, neteyam had already fallen asleep on their apartment bed as soft snores escaped his lips. he was up at two midnight in a discord call with his friends as he watched koro streaming some stupid horror game, screaming every five seconds while nashvi laughed like a dying engine in the background. rotxo kept trying to give directions that koro absolutely ignored, and ongu was just there in the call, occasionally dropping the most unhelpful comments imaginable.
“LEFT. GO LEFT,” rotxo stressed, practically climbing into his mic.
“i AM going left—” koro yelped, immediately turning right and getting chased by whatever glitchy demon was on screen.
nashvi wheezed, “you’re actually so bad at this, it’s insane.”
“shut up,” koro snapped, voice cracking again as he panicked, dying in the game again. he let out the loudest groan and stopped streaming, turning his camera back on.
soon after, the whole call turned into a chill chat with their videos on. before they settled into comfortable silence, ongu noticed that aonung was staring into space with a fluffy ball with beaded black eyes. oh wait, it was just his pet bunny. hona. hona was on his lap, small and warm, tucked comfortably against his stomach as his fingers absentmindedly traced along her back. her nose twitched every few seconds, ears flicking at the noise coming from the laptop. she didn’t seem bothered. if anything, she looked half-asleep.
“wait,” koro suddenly said, squinting at his screen.
aonung barely looked up as he stroked hona's floppy ears. “what.”
koro leaned closer to his camera like he was about to expose a conspiracy. “don’t you guys think hona looks like neteyam?”
silence filled the air at koro's random observation. actually, he had brought it up multiple times. how neteyam was literally a rabbit and at one point, then they had a discussion about spirit animals, neteyam insisted that he would either be a cheetah or a fox if he was an animal but really, all koro saw was an oversized rabbit whenever he looked at neteyam. the worst part was that everyone agreed with him but aonung... could not see it until this discord call happened.
rotxo immediately leaned in as he took a closer look at hona on aonung's lap through the screen, “hold on—wait, actually…”
ongu tilted his head and spoke up, “oh. oh no. i see it.”
“you’re all hallucinating.” aonung scoffed and finally looked up, offended already. "what kind of bullshit are you on?"
but koro was already committed. “no listen. same eyes. that stare they make like you're below their level.”
nashvi was wheezing at the comparison, “that’s crazy because neteyam is literally asleep right there and now there’s another neteyam on your lap, nung.”
aonung sat up a little straighter as his friends continued to converse about the topic. his brain, being the traitor that it was, immediately supplied an image of neteyam sitting on the couch earlier that day, knees tucked in while watching a show on their television, absentmindedly chewing on the straw of the iced strawberry matcha aonung had bought for him while their bunny sat in his lap. their big, adorable eyes and little twitchy noses as they stared at the television.
“…no way,” aonung muttered in realization.
♡ִֶָ𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ🐇་༘࿐♡
it became a thing for the next few days. koro started saving neteyam's number “hona #2” in the group chat. the boys would even randomly send pictures of rabbits with captions like neteyam core. even rotxo, usually the nice one, couldn’t resist going “wait hold on—” whenever neteyam did something remotely bunny-like and aonung? aonung was eating up the fact that he was dating a cute bunny boy.
one morning, neteyam thought the entire thing would die off.
it did not.
neteyam woke up grumpy, hair messy, glasses slightly crooked, and immediately noticed the way aonung was looking at him. “…what,” he muttered, suspicious at his boyfriend's stupid wide grin. he pushed himself off the bed and headed toward the bathroom to do his morning skincare after slipping on his fuzzy pink slippers.
aonung glanced down at hona, who was sitting on the bed beside him like she paid rent. hona blinked slowly at him. the longer he stared, the worse it got because now he saw it more and more. the soft and funny expressions. the way neteyam always scrunched his nose when he was annoyed. the way hona did the exact same thing when she didn’t want to be moved. even the tiny stubbornness they both had. it was the same energy.
aonung was still staring when neteyam came back out of the bathroom, towel draped over his shoulder with his skin damp, glasses now properly straight. “why are you looking at hona like that?” neteyam asked.
“you’re literally twins.”
neteyam looked unimpressed, a pout forming on his lips. “if you say that one more time, i’m throwing you out.” he whined and slapped a pillow at him.
from then on, it became a thing. every time neteyam chewed on something absentmindedly during lunch or dinner or every time he got sulky and curled up somewhere warm with hona cuddled in his arms. every time he got annoyed and his nose did that little scrunch.
“bunny,” aonung would say.
“shut the hell up,” neteyam would reply.
♡ִֶָ𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ🐇་༘࿐♡
on a fine tuesday, that was when everything went sideways. it started with neteyam finding it while he was laying on the bed with hona next to him, staring into space and daydreaming about carrots. aonung’s phone had been left on the bed while he was showering and neteyam was alarmed when the phone screen lit up with notifications.
neteyam held the phone up and unlocked it, tapping onto instagram and that was when he saw that there was a random girl in his boyfriend's notifications. pretty, smiling and from her posts, he could tell she went to their university and she was following aonung, spam liking ALL of his posts. who the fuck is this girl. neteyam’s eye twitched, a dangerous frown tugging on his lips. at that exact moment, aonung came in from the bathroom with his curls dripping wet from the cold shower he took.
“who is she,” neteyam immediately interrogated him, like he was giving aonung a chance to confess peacefully.
aonung squinted at the screen that neteyam was holding up, then shrugged as he waved a dismissive hand. “oh. her.” he scoffed and walked to the dresser to spritz some cologne on him.
neteyam’s soul left his body for half a second. “‘oh her’?” he hissed. “you say it like she's a stray cat you forgot you fed once.”
“she’s just someone from my class,” aonung responded and started to get dressed, pulling some random outfit from the wardrobe. “we talked like twice.”
“twice,” neteyam repeated flatly.
hona suddenly hopped in her place, landing close to neteyam like it had picked a side. she stared at aonung and then, thumped her back foot.
“…did she just judge me.”
“she did,” neteyam agreed, pointing at hona like she was the court of law. “and she’s always right.”
hona thumped again, slower this time, like she was confirming her verdict. aonung stared at both of them, finding the whole situation adorable but then sighed. “you’re both so cute.”
“don't you dare change the subject. tell me why you're collecting random girls in your notifications,” neteyam shot back, still holding the phone like it was evidence in a trial. “twice my ass.”
hona made another offended sound like she was narrating the injustice. aonung’s face finally cracked and he could not take the sight in front of him. the fondest smile appeared on his face and in completely unhelpful manner, he walked over and started pinching neteyam’s cheeks lightly like neteyam was a moody bunny and not a very real, very angry boyfriend.
neteyam slapped his hand away. “i am being serious right now.”
“i know,” aonung cooed, still smiling. “you’re serious and cute. like her.”
hona kicked the air aggressively and that just made aonung even giggly. neteyam stood up so fast hona jumped again in surprise. “you’re not taking this seriously,” he retorted, voice cutting sharp now. “you never take anything seriously when it’s about me.”
aonung stopped laughing in an instant when neteyam raised his voice at him, his ears dropping low. "baby, stop that."
neteyam’s grip on the phone tightened. “no,” he hissed adamantly. “you’re there laughing, pinching my face, calling me a bunny like i’m some fucking joke—while i’m literally telling you i don’t like this.”
hona made a low, uneasy little sound and shuffled closer to neteyam’s foot.
aonung felt the humor faded from his face now. “okay. i hear you, my love, but you're overreacting, okay? you are acting crazy right now.”
slowly, neteyam set the phone down on the bed like it might explode. “crazy,” he repeated softly.
aonung exhaled. “baby, i didn’t mean—”
but neteyam was already shaking his head. “no, it’s fine,” he let out a fake laugh, voice suddenly too calm. “i get it.” he turned slightly and stood up from the bed, gesturing loosely between them like he was putting pieces together in his head. he nodded slowly like he was tasting the word in his mouth then he looked up at aonung. “then you want someone who isn’t crazy?” his voice rose again, cracking at the edges. “okay. then go to her.”
aonung blinked. “what?”
neteyam stepped back like he couldn’t stand being near him for another second, pointing vaguely at the phone still in his hand. “her. the girl. the one you’re following. the one you ‘talked to twice’,” he sneered, mocking the words. “go to her then.”
aonung’s expression twisted immediately. “who is her, baby?”
neteyam’s eyes widened a fraction and he let out another incredulous laugh. "WOW." he breathed out, “maybe you have so many girls that’s why you don’t even know which one i’m talking about,” he said, voice rising again. “which one is it today, aonung? the class one? the one from your comments?”
aonung just stared at him now, fully stunned. “what the fuck are you going on about?” he questioned. “what girls? neteyam, i told you it’s one person from class and i barely talk to her.”
neteyam laughed again, but it cracked halfway. “yeah,” he said, quieter now but still sharp. “and you barely think about anything until i bring it up, right?”
hona thumped her foot again, agitated, like she was trying to contribute to the argument.
aonung rubbed his face, suddenly exhausted. “this is ridiculous.”
that word felt like a slap to neteyam's face, like he felt like aonung was drained from their arguments. for a few moments, everything quieted except the faint hiss of the air conditioner in the apartment and hona’s tiny shifting movements.
“yeah,” neteyam murmured. “it is.”
after turning away and grabbing his jacket, neteyam hardly spared him a glance as he voiced out,
“i want to break up.”
aonung immediately widened his eyes and scrambled to chase neteyam who was already heading toward the door. the thing was, this was like weekly thing. no, really. they would break up EVERY week and it would always be the same senario. a stupid, preposterous reason that neteyam invented out of his ass and then the words "i want to break up" and guess what would happen? aonung getting on the floor in tears while begging his boyfriend to stay.
last week, it was over aonung using his toothbrush. on a stupid, ordinary thursday morning.
neteyam had stumbled into the bathroom half-asleep, still trying to wake up enough to function. he had reached for his toothbrush, only to stop dead. it was wet, not just rinsed but wet and used.
he slowly turned his head to aonung who was chilling with hona on the bed.
“…did you use my toothbrush?”
aonung blinked. then, like an idiot, answered honestly. “mine fell behind the sink.”
neteyam glared at him, pursing his lips in dismay. “so you used mine.”
“just for like thirty seconds.”
“thirty seconds,” neteyam repeated, voice dangerously calm.
“baby, i rinsed it.”
“you rinsed it.”
“with hot water.”
that was somehow worse. neteyam stood there in complete, speechless disbelief while hona, who had somehow hopped off the bed and wandered into the bathroom, sat by the bathmat and watched the whole thing unfold with beady-eyed concern.
“aonung,” neteyam said at last, horrified. “that is literally disgusting.”
“it’s not that serious.”
wrong thing to say.
“not that serious?” neteyam’s voice shot up. “that was in my mouth!”
“my mouth has been in your mouth.” aonung chuckled. which, in retrospect, was probably what killed him. “baby, come on—”
“don’t baby me. i want to break up.”
and just like that, aonung had found himself sitting cross-legged on the bedroom floor ten minutes later, damp-haired and miserable, while neteyam dramatically packed an overnight bag that consisted mostly of his pyjamas and his toothbrush.
hona had hopped into aonung’s lap like she was trying to console him. he had looked down at her with glassy eyes.
“you saw what happened,” he muttered. “you know i didn’t mean it.”
hona sneezed in his face.
after what felt like forever, neteyam had returned three hours later after lo’ak apparently got tired of listening to him rant and the couple made up over kisses and cookies.
that was last week. then, there was also last last week which had been even worse because that one had happened in public. on that monday, it took place at a cozy cafe. nothing fancy. just a small place near campus, warm lights, soft chatter, the kind of place neteyam liked because it felt quiet and safe. neteyam had been in one of his mellow moods that day, stealing fries off aonung’s plate and rambling about a professor he hated. hona wasn’t there, obviously, but somehow her spirit of judgment had been because they were also discussing what snacks to buy for her.
fifteen minutes in, it started when the waitress had come over, polite, smiling as she took their order. “anything else for you guys?” she asked, her notepad ready in hand to take any extra orders.
aonung, being a normal person, smiled back. “no, that’s all, thanks.”
she nodded and walked away. that should’ve been the end of it but aonung had a crazy boyfriend who somehow thought that a smile meant 'hey you're so pretty, wanna replace my boyfriend'.
neteyam sat back slowly, crossing his arms. “you don’t smile at me like that.” he grumbled, his bottom lip jutting out dramatically as he looked away to the window.
aonung stared at him, his jaw dropping as once again, his boyfriend was finding yet another petty reason to get mad. “…are you serious, baby? i literally smile at you all the time.”
“not like that.”
“…like what?”
“like you were interested.”
that made aonung let out a short, disbelieving laugh. “i was not interested."
“i want to break up.” neteyam hissed and abruptly stood up from the chair, earning a few snorts and stares from the other patrons sitting at the cafe.
“again?”
“wow. so now it’s funny?”
“no— baby, i’m just confused—”
“go date the waitress.”
“i don’t even know her name!”
“exactly, then go find out.”
with that, neteyam stormed out and not even two hours later, aonung got a text from him and they went out to get ice cream. he made aonung solemnly swear to never micro-cheat on him ever again even if that was never aonung's intention to begin with but okay.
fast forward to now. neteyam already left the apartment, running off to who knows where. aonung knew neteyam would come back and they would make up after that but if he was being honest, he was getting drained of neteyam's attitude. the apartment felt too quiet after the door shut. aonung stared at the door like it might swing open again any second. it didn’t. the only sound left was the air conditioner and the tiny clicking of hona’s paws on the floor.
she had stopped near aonung, ears tilted back, black beaded eyes fixed on him. aonung let out a breath that felt heavier than it should have. slowly, he dropped his shoulders and dragged both hands over his face. his hair was still damp, the cold from his shower clinging to the back of his neck, but his chest felt hot and tight. “what do you think, hm?” he muttered, looking over at her.
hona hopped closer.
“maybe he doesn’t love me anymore.”
the words came out so quietly it almost startled him.
hona’s nose twitched.
aonung sighed and leaned forward, elbows on his knees. “i mean… maybe that’s why we’re like this.” his voice was rougher now. “maybe i keep thinking it’s just another fight, another dramatic neteyam moment and then he comes back and we kiss and pretend it didn’t happen.” he swallowed hard. “but what if he keeps leaving because being here with me feels worse than being alone?”
hona nudged lightly against his ankle.
aonung reached down automatically, fingers brushing over the soft fur along her back. it calmed him a little, but not enough. for the first time in a long while, a thought settled in his head and stayed there. maybe he should be the one to end it. not out of anger. not to win. not because he wanted someone else.
just because he was tired.
tired of hearing the word break up thrown around so easily that it had started sounding normal. tired of chasing neteyam down hallways, of standing there with his heart in his throat while the door shut in his face. tired of trying to figure out which version of neteyam he would get that day—the one who curled into his side with hona between them, or the one who looked at him like he was impossible to love
maybe letting go would make neteyam happier.
♡ִֶָ𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ🐇་༘࿐♡
koro’s apartment was suspiciously peaceful. which, in itself, should have been alarming. koro was sprawled upside down on the couch with his legs hanging over the armrest while playing a video game, nashvi sat on the floor with a half-finished instant noodle cup in hand, and ongu was occupying the beanbag in the corner, scrolling on his phone while some random playlist hummed low from a speaker. for once, nobody was crying to them through a phone call. nobody was dramatically breaking up. nobody had barged in demanding emergency emotional support.
"do you guys notice something?" koro suddenly asked.
nashvi didn’t look up. “that you suck at this game?”
“no.” koro hissed and shoved nashvi by the shoulder as he sat up. “this week.”
ongu glanced over and questioned, “what about it.”
koro narrowed his eyes like he was solving a murder case. “neteyam hasn’t called any of us.”
that got nashvi’s attention. “…wait.”
“exactly,” koro said, pointing wildly. “he hasn’t called. hasn’t texted. if not, he would break in here until aonung chases after him, begging like a dog.”
nashvi leaned back against the couch, looking almost impressed. “maybe him and nung are finally healthy.”
silence. then ongu nodded thoughtfully. “finally.”
koro stared at both of them. then, very suddenly, he shot to his feet with pride. “OH EYWA.”
“what are you doing,” nashvi asked, watching as koro ran over to his door.
koro reached the door and turned around dramatically.
“for months,” he declared, voice booming through the apartment, “this household has suffered. my peace has been violated. my snacks have been stolen. my mental health has been destroyed by the endless cycle of ‘we broke up’ and ‘we made up’ and ‘aonung breathed weird so now i’m sleeping here tonight.’” he delivered his random speech and placed a hand over his chest, “but today i can finally lock my door. today, i stand before you as a free man. today, i celebrate the beautiful, healthy, emotionally stable relationship of aonung tsika'u and neteyam sul—”
the door flew open so violently it slammed straight into the side of his face.
“OW—”
neteyam stormed in, a murderous glare in his eyes like aonung had pissed him off so bad.
“you have got to be kidding me,” koro groaned out and clutched on his cheek, rubbing it after that door slam.
neteyam barely acknowledged him. he marched three steps into the apartment, dropped onto the couch like his bones had given out, and crossed his arms so tightly it looked painful. that signature pout on his lips just told everyone in the room that he just broke up with aonung... again.
koro carefully sat down in the armchair opposite him, still rubbing the side of his face. “okay,” he said slowly and turned to neteyam. “… what did you do first.”
neteyam turned his head so sharply koro almost felt himself getting stabbed by eye contact alone. “whose side are you on?”
“mine,” koro said immediately. “you assaulted me.”
neteyam stayed curled into the far corner of koro’s couch like he was trying to disappear into it. he stared at the floor for a long moment before finally saying, flatly, “no. seriously. i’m done this time.”
nashvi lowered the instant noodle cup in his hand. ongu stopped scrolling. even koro, who had been rubbing the side of his face after nearly getting murdered by his own front door, straightened a little.
“we’re over,” neteyam let it out even if he did not mean it.
for a beat, nobody spoke. then ongu turned slowly toward nashvi, his mouth curling into a wicked grin. “well,” he said lightly, “looks like it’s finally your turn, nash.”
nashvi’s head snapped up so fast as his hand shot out to slap him on the head. “shut the fuck up.”
“okay,” koro began, voice a shade gentler. “what is it over this time.”
neteyam did not answer immediately. he pressed his lips together, staring down at his hands. when he finally spoke, it came out quieter.
“aonung doesn’t take me seriously and some random ass girl liked his post.”
“okay,” koro said after a second. “that’s… more serious than the toothbrush incident i guess.”
neteyam shot him a look sharp enough to cut glass. “and,” he added, the indignation creeping back into his voice now, “he called me a bunny.”
the three of them stared at neteyam, biting their lips to restrain the noise. but it came out of koro first, a sharp, helpless burst of laughter that sent him sliding halfway off the armchair. nashvi tried to hold it in but the moment he looked at neteyam and then at the way he was sitting there, all curled up and glaring, he let out a strangled sound and buried his face in one hand.
koro stared at neteyam for half a second longer to calm himself down but his shoulders started shaking violently. “i’m sorry,” he wheezed, already failing. “i’m actually trying.”
“you’re not,” neteyam grumbled flatly, already glaring holes into each of their heads.
“i’m not,” koro admitted, dissolving abck into laughter.
neteyam stared at them in utter disbelief. “are you serious right now?”
“tey,” nashvi managed, voice cracking with suppressed laughter, “look at yourself.”
“what does that mean.”
ongu was wiping tears from the corners of his eyes now. “you’re sitting there all angry—”
“you literally look like a pissed off rabbit,” nashvi finished.
“you do that nose thing when you’re mad,” koro said, pointing at him.
“you stomp when you walk away,” ongu added.
“and you literally barged in here like a wild bunny escaping animal control,” nashvi said.
neteyam snatched the nearest throw pillow and launched it across the room and it hit nashvi square in the face.
“ow—”
“fuck you all!” neteyam snapped, "i should've gone to rotxo instead."
nashvi leaned back against the couch, still grinning a little, but his voice had softened in a way that didn’t match the laughter from earlier. “it’s not a bad thing to look like a bunny, tey,” he reassured simply, shrugging like it was obvious. “like… that’s not an insult.”
“it is when it’s coming from him.” neteyam grumbled.
“no,” ongu cut in, still lounging on the beanbag, calmer now but clearly still amused. “it’s literally not. you just hear it like it is.”
“also, i’m just saying—if someone called me a bunny, i’d take it as a compliment. bunnies are cute.” koro added to be helpful but neteyam just gave him a side-eye.
the room fell into silence for a bit before nashvi pointed it out again. “and, i hate to break it to you, but you do look like a bunny right now.”
neteyam lifted his head again, offended on instinct. he opened his mouth, probably to tell all of them to go to hell, but the words never quite made it out. because annoying as they were being, none of them were saying it cruelly. they weren’t laughing at him anymore. they were looking at him with that awful, gentle kind of fondness that somehow made his chest hurt more.
nashvi spoke again, quieter this time. “aonung probably thinks it’s cute.”
“he does,” koro supported. “you know he does.”
“that idiot’s obsessed with you,” ongu added. “half the time he comes here, he talks about you like you invented the sun.”
a small smile threatened at the corner of neteyam’s mouth before he smothered it. he dropped his gaze again, but this time it didn’t feel quite as heavy. i don't know why we always end up like this,” he admitted after a moment.
“i think he panicked. you were angry, he was trying to make it lighter, and then he said the dumbest possible thing.” koro shrugged. “which… is very aonung.”
that was painfully true. neteyam could picture it too clearly now. aonung standing there trying to laugh the tension away because he didn’t know what else to do and then that look on his face right at the end when neteyam said he wanted to break up . not annoyed. not angry. just… hurt. neteyam swallowed the guilt away though it still stuck there.
nashvi glanced at the others, then back at him. “do you want me to be honest?”
neteyam hesitated, then nodded once.
“i think,” nashvi said carefully, “you’re both getting tired.”
that pulled neteyam into a deep pondering because it felt true. they were not tired of loving each other. just tired. tired of the same fights. tired of saying things they didn’t mean until they hurt anyway. tired of every small thing turning into another version of goodbye. and it was always neteyam who started it. the truth sat uncomfortably in his chest: they always ended up back together. like it was inevitable. like no matter how dramatic the breakup got, no matter how many doors were slammed or words were thrown, it always circled back. but what if... one day, that petty goodbye became final?
koro broke the silence first, stretching his legs out like the emotional crisis had officially been filed away under “dealt with later.” “so,” he said, glancing at neteyam, “are you sleeping over here or what.”
"huh?"
“i’m just asking,” koro said, unbothered. “because last time you said ‘i’m done this time’ you ended up stealing my blanket and crying into it while aonung apologized through the door and sung you like five different songs with his guitar. i got filed a noise complaint by the way.”
“that was ONE time,” neteyam snapped immediately.
“it was three times,” ongu corrected.
neteyam opened his mouth, then closed it again.
because unfortunately… they were right and that was what pushed neteyam to realize that maybe he was being a little too crazy. he pushed himself off the couch abruptly, grabbing his bag from the armrest like he needed to physically remove himself from the conversation before he lost whatever dignity he had left. “i need to go talk to him,” he decided once he stood up.
then, before anyone could say anything else, he was gone. the door shut behind him and this time, not slammed harshly. just… quick like someone running toward something they weren’t ready to lose.
♡ִֶָ𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ🐇་༘࿐♡
neteyam did not knock when he entered the shared apartment with the twist of his key. the lights were low. the living room was half-dark, curtains drawn, the faint glow from the kitchen spilling across the floor. hona’s little cage sat open near the couch, and it was empty since she was already with aonung in the bedroom, listening to him cry over neteyam's outburst. he stepped closer to the narrow hallway and that was when he heard the one-sided conversation between hona and aonung outside their bedroom.
“i don’t know what to do, hona.”
neteyam stopped in place, his heart churning at the sound of aonung's brittle voice.
“like… i can’t keep doing this every week,” aonung continued, and there was a soft rustle like he’d dropped onto the bed and was leaning forward, elbows on his knees. “i’m tired.”
hona made a tiny sound.
aonung let out a shaky exhale. “yeah, i know. me too.” he continued, “it’s not even the fights,” he shuffled closer to smoothen down her fluffy fur. “it’s just… i don’t think he’s happy. or maybe he is, but only sometimes. and then the rest of the time it’s just… this.”
neteyam felt something in his chest twist sharply. he stepped a little further in, just enough to see. aonung was sitting on the bed, hunched over slightly, hona right beside him. he was gently stroking her head with two fingers, slow and gentle, like he was trying to keep himself steady.
“you think he’d want shared custody over you?” aonung muttered.
hona blinked at him.
“don’t look at me like that,” he sighed. “i’m serious. what if he takes you and then blocks me and i only see you through like… pictures from rotxo's phone.”
aonung kept going, completely unaware he had an audience. “because i don’t think i can handle that,” he admitted quietly, rubbing his thumb along hona’s tiny back. “like… i can handle him yelling at me. or leaving. or saying stupid stuff. but if he takes you too? that’s just—”
hona shifted to his lap, pressing closer. "you’re the only one who doesn’t leave mid-argument,” he murmured.
“i think he’ll be better without me,” aonung admitted quietly, and that one hit differently. “less stress. less fighting. he need someone who doesn’t make him mad every second.”
neteyam’s vision suddenly blurred as unwanted tears pricked at his eyes. he blinked hard, but it didn’t help.
aonung kept going.
“and i’m tired of saying things wrong. like everything i say turns into something worse and then he leaves and i’m just—” he stopped, exhaling sharply. “i don’t know how to fix it anymore.”
hona nudged his hand and aonung’s voice dropped even lower. “maybe actually breaking up is the only thing i can do right for him.”
that broke neteyam and he immediately moved forward to make himself seen. he stood in the doorway with an expression aonung rarely saw, eyes red already, cheeks wet, breathing uneven like he’d been holding it in too long.
“neteyam—”
“no,” neteyam cut in quickly, shaking his head. “don’t. don’t say it like it’s already decided.”
his hands were trembling now as he reached out to touch aonung's face, forcing him to look at him but aonung had an eerie detachment in his eyes like he did not want to discuss it further. hona hopped once toward him, then stopped, torn between them. neteyam looked at her for half a second before looking back at aonung. “please nung,” he wept, quieter now. “don’t break up with me.”
“i already made up my mind.”