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Once upon a time, there was a sweet little demon boy who was loved by everyone who met him, most of all by his best friend. He and his friend were so close that one day he fashioned him a stunning red hood. It suited him perfectly, and from then on, everyone called him Little Red Riding 'Bu.
One morning as he was sitting by the breakfast table, his father said, "Here is a cake and a potion of healing. Take them to Rejoice, for he is sick and weak and this will do him good. Go now before it gets too hot, and remember to not stray from the path. Dangers lie outside of it, so you must always keep your guard up."
"Yes, Minute. I will be careful," Little Red Riding 'Bu promised, smiling with delight at the prospect of seeing his friend.
"Now go," MinuteTech sent him off with a wave, watching with a smile as his child skipped down the path and over the hill.
Rejoicin lived deep in the forest, about a thousand blocks from the village. Just as Little Red Riding 'Bu had entered the forest, a stranger emerged from the shrubs that lined the path. He was a lion, standing tall and proud. Little did she know the lion was a vile creature, so she felt no fear at all.
"Yo, 'Bu!" the lion greeted him.
"Wassup, ManePear?" Little Red Riding 'Bu returned his greeting warmly.
"Where are you going so early?" Mane asked him, eyeing him up and down.
"To Rejoicin's house. He is unwell, so MinuteTech sent me to bring food and gifts for him. I hope to cheer him up that way," Wemmbu replied.
That information made ManePear grin maliciously. Oh, what fun he would have.
"And...where does this 'Rejoicin' live?" he prompted.
"A little way into the woods. His cottage is surrounded by towering oak trees and berries galore. Surely you must know it?"
ManePear grinned slyly. What a lovely young thing! Such ruckus he would cause in the village if he just...went missing! I'll receive riches galore when I find him and return him to the village safe and sound!
Mane strolled down the path with Little Red Riding 'Bu, through a forest with towering spruce trees, then past a lake teeming with fish and frogs. They eventually reached a flower field, where a malicious idea entered his mind .
"Look at how pretty the flowers are here, Little Red Riding 'Bu," Mane pointed out innocently, gesturing towards the vast open field. "You should pick some for him! They'll make him feel a lot better."
Little Red Riding 'Bu's gaze swept across the flower field, over vibrant patches of sprouting wildflowers and grand sunflowers towering over the emerald green blades of grass. The aroma of spring flowers filled the air, which enticed Little Red Riding 'Bu further.
Rejoice would love these flowers, he thought to himself. I still have plenty of time, so what's the harm in picking some for him? Mane's right, the flowers from this field are sure to cheer him up!
The young demon boy skipped off the path and into the flower field, his red hood flapping in the light breeze as he went. Every few paces he would stop and bend down to pluck a flower from the field, assembling a bundle of blossoms in his hand. Each time he picked a flower from the field, he'd find an even prettier one just a few paces away, so he kept going, and going, and going.
Once Little Red Riding 'Bu had wandered far enough away, Mane dropped his act. He travelled with cold, calculating efficiency down the path until he reached the place he assumed to be Rejoice's house. Taking a deep breath, ManePear knocked on the door.
"Who is it?" Rejoicin called weakly.
Putting on his best impression, ManePear responded, "It's me, Rejoice. It's Little Red Riding 'Bu. I've brought you some cake and a healing potion."
"Let yourself in," Rejoice's voice came from inside the house. "I'm too dizzy to get up, bro."
With the ears atop his head twitching in uncontrollable excitement, ManePear pushed open the door. It let out a long creak, like it was disgruntled at being opened. Once he had entered the house, he charged towards Rejoice, tying the sick boy up with ropes. He stuffed him in the closet, but not before taking a spare jacket to wear. He then settled in bed, waiting anticipatedly for his guest.
A while later, Little Red Riding 'Bu arrived at the cottage, his basket hanging from the arm he clutched the bouquet of flowers with. He knocked on the door, completely unaware of what dangers lay inside.
"Come in, 'Bu!" came his friend's reply.
Something was off about Rejoice's voice, but Little Red Riding 'Bu couldn't exactly place his finger on it. Against his better judgement, he brushed it off. Rejoice probably just had a sore throat or something.
He opened the door, shutting it behind him once he was inside. He navigated his way to Rejoice's bedroom, finding his friend huddled up in bed.
"Good morning, Rejoice! I brought you a cake and a health potion to make you feel better!" Little Red Riding 'Bu told him, setting the basket down on Rejoice's bedside table. "I picked some flowers for you on the way here too. Sorry I was late."
"S'alright, bro," Rejoice mumbled wearily.
Just then, something caught Little Red Riding 'Bu's attention. "Oh, Rejoice! What large ears you have!"
"All the better to hear you with, 'Bu."
Walking up to his best friend, he spotted another detail he'd missed earlier. "But Rejoice! What soft fur you have!"
"All the better to keep you warm with, 'Bu."
"And what sharp claws you have!"
"All the better to kidnap you with! This is a fucking hostage situation!" ManePear sprung up from the bed, Rejoice's jacket falling to the floor, forgotten. Mane's razor sharp teeth glinted in the late morning sunlight as he advanced, smirking maliciously. Little Red Riding 'Bu shrieked with fright, making a break for the door, but was blocked by ManePear before he could escape. Soon enough, he too was bound up with ropes and stuffed in the closet, right next to a sniffling Rejoice.
"How did you get duped that badly bro? I look nothing like him," Rejoice sulked.
"He was wearing your jacket!" Little Red Riding 'Bu protested.
"Oh my Mojang 'Bu!"
"Stop!"
"You stupid!"
"No I'm not!"
"What's nine plus ten?"
"Twenty-on-!"
"Shut up!" Mane grumbled, tapping his foot impatiently. He'd sent the ransom note to the village already. They would most certainly be in pandemonium right now. He snickered at their misfortune.
Maybe with the ransom money, he'd be able to get himself some food. Maybe even a new spear.
That new spear sounded nice.
As he trekked through the forest, feeling the cool breeze kiss his skin, he heard it.
Muffled speech. He glanced around cautiously, his head wings raised, prepped for a fight.
Nothing.
He continued his walk, though now a sense of unease clung to him despite the tranquility of the woods.
As he journeyed on, he spotted his friend's cottage. He had heard that his friend had been unwell, but hadn't had the time to check in on him yet. Deciding to pay his friend a visit, he made a detour towards his friend's cottage.
Eggchan let himself into the house. Rejoice had given him a spare key anyways, so what was the harm in making use of it?
To his horror, it was not Rejoice who met him, rather the widely feared mercenary, ManePear.
"Where is Rejoicin? What have you done with him?" Egg demanded.
"None of your business," ManePear snapped, flicking his tail lazily. "But if you want any chance of seeing him again, bro, I might need some of the diamonds you have in that pocket of yours."
Eggchan scoffed. "Keep dreaming, brother."
Then, with all the glaze and aura he had received from the fandom, Eggchan reached for his bow, nocking an arrow before drawing back his bowstring.
The next thing ManePear saw was a flurry of arrows heading straight for him. As hard as he tried to dodge them, a few of them managed to get lodged in his flesh. He grunted in pain each time an arrow pierced him, ultimately giving up.
"Fuck you," he hissed as he hobbled towards the window. "This isn't over, bro."
"Of course not," Egg chuckled as the lion clambered out of the window, landing clumsily in a bush. He watched on as ManePear scurried back into the woods. He wouldn't be seeing him for a long time.
Then, he heard it. Whispers, coming from the closet. He took several strides towards the closet, bow still gripped firmly with one hand. With the other, Eggchan swung open the door.
His jaw dropped.
In the closet sat Rejoicin and Little Red Riding 'Bu, both sharing equally terrified looks on their faces. Little Red Riding 'Bu squeaked in terror, squeezing his eyes shut as if he were bracing himself for something.
"Uh...'Bu? It's just Eggchan," Rejoice reassured him.
Little Red Riding 'Bu opened one eye tentatively, and when he confirmed it was only Eggchan, visibly relaxed. "Thank Mojang," he heaved a sigh of relief as Egg got to work untying the ropes that bound him. "I thought I was gonna be stuck in that closet forever."
"You're safe now bro, thanks to the infinite fandom glaze and aura of Eggchan the Legendary Warrior," Egg teased.
"Genuinely be quiet bro."
Once he'd helped them out of the ropes, Egg headed towards the door. "Well, I'd best be going now. I'll see you guys around next Saturday for poker, yeah?"
"For sure," Rejoice beamed.
"Well, see ya," Egg bade them farewell as a blinding light consumed him. Little Red Riding 'Bu squeezed his eyes shut once again, and by the time he opened them, he had gone.
Rejoice and Little Red Riding 'Bu sat at the former's kitchen, splitting the cake between them. Rejoice took a seat at his table, downing the entire potion of healing in one go. It tasted awful and caused a chill to travel down his spine, but suffice to say he felt much better afterwards.
"This is some fire cake, yo," Little Red Riding 'Bu commented through a mouthful of the dessert.
"And to think it was supposed to be all for me...what a good friend I am," Rejoice quipped.
"...I never want to hear your voice again."
"Same here, 'Bu."
And from that day on, whenever Little Red Riding 'Bu travelled down that path to visit his friend, he always made sure to never stray from the path.
The End.