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Delphine’s eyes kept slipping shut, closing for longer and longer intervals before her head jerked up again and her eyes snapped open. She had planned on working more once Cosima had fallen asleep, one hand manipulating the trackpad of her laptop while the other trailed soothingly up and down Cosima’s back. But her thoughts floated freeform, drifting like feathers on the wind and her chest had started to rise and fall deeply. Her body was preparing itself for sleep, and Delphine finally admitted that it was futile to keep fighting against it.
Her eyes hooded tiredly and she yawned, again. No more work was going to get done that night. Delphine reached out and felt around blindly until her hand connected with the lid of laptop which she then pushed firmly closed. It was time to finally give into her body’s demands and go to sleep.
It was for the best really. She was honestly exhausted. She hadn’t been sleeping well for a while, and after the disastrous fight she’d had with Cosima, she hadn’t been able to sleep at all. Hope and desperation had acted as stimulants on her for the past twenty-four hours, galvanizing her when she thought she could not possibly go on. The sound of Cosima’s voice, the sight of her, her scent, had kept Delphine going despite her tiredness. But now that Cosima was asleep in her arms, her head resting on Delphine’s chest and her arms and legs thrown over Delphine’s body, the blonde didn’t want to fight anymore. Cosima’s breathing was a bit ragged, but she was sleeping deeply. She looked peacefully and Delphine longed to join her in slumber.
Honey-coloured eyelashes fluttered closed again, and this time Delphine’s head did not jerk back up. This time she when her mind started to go dark, she let it. She tightened her arms around Cosima and let her thoughts and concerns begin to drift away into the dark, noiseless, imageless miasma of sleep.
If Delphine hadn’t actually fallen asleep in the minutes that followed her last conscious thought, then she was almost there, tittering right on the edge of unconsciousness when the door to Felix’s loft slid open and a flurry of light and sound erupted, jolting her up.
Delphine blinked slowly as her brain struggled to boot up, but instinctively turned her head to the side, towards the commotion, watching dazedly as Felix and a woman with Cosima’s face stormed into the loft. Sarah, Delphine realized blurrily, with a sleepy sort of wonder, as the woman turned towards her and their eyes met.
Delphine breathed in sharply as she got her first clear look at the other woman. She knew about the clones. She had seen pictures of the others faces. Mentally, she was prepared for meeting someone who looked like Cosima. Actually seeing Sarah in person was still rather shocking however. Cosima and Sarah looked identical. Their mouths, their noses, their eyes were all alike. They had the same face. And yet, not even having heard Sarah speak, Delphine could already identify a myriad of differences between them. It was fascinating.
“I’m,” Delphine began, her voice a bit groggy with sleep despite the fact that her eyes at adjusted and her mind was now clear.
“I know who you are,” Sarah interjected brusquely, cutting Delphine off with a dismissive wave of her hand. “Wake her up,” she continued sharply, directing her gaze at Cosima, who was still asleep, despite the sudden commotion.
“She’s tired,” Delphine began slowly, watching Sarah carefully for a moment before she dropped her eyes to take in the bundle in her arms. “She’s sick,” Delphine continued raggedly a moment later, looking back up to meet Sarah’s eyes.
Irritation and something darker, something stronger, something dangerous, flashed in Sarah’s eyes at the sound of Delphine’s words. But almost as soon as the look appeared, it was gone, replaced by a look of concern as Sarah’s eyes focused on Cosima, studying her sleeping form.
“What’s wrong with her?” Sarah asked.
She didn’t want to give Delphine credit for anything, but she could see that the blonde was genuinely worried, and that combined with the unnatural paleness of Cosima’s skin made her stomach churn because she was certain that whatever was wrong with Cosima was more serious than a cold.
“Katja’s respiratory disorder,” Delphine breathed out.
She knew that Cosima hadn’t told the others about her sickness yet, and under different circumstances she would not have spoken of the illness until Cosima had broached the subject herself. Unfortunately, they were in the situation they were in and Delphine knew she had to reveal the information. Sarah was tense and on edge, and Delphine knew that it would be unwise of her to play coy with the woman. Sarah already didn’t care for her, and if she sensed any subterfuge from Delphine, the blonde was certain that things could get very ugly, very quickly.
Sarah was silent and still for a few seconds and then she dropped down into the arm chair to the right of the couch and muttered, “Shit.”
Delphine had lost track of Felix when Sarah had spoken to her. She’d focused all of her attention on Sarah, as someone who had walked into a room and found themselves staring at zebra and a lion would instinctively focus on the lion. The sight of both animals was shocking, but only one of them posed a real danger. Being aware of Sarah was an act of self-preservation, while tracking Felix would have been a mere curiosity.
In the silence that followed Sarah’s exhalation however, Delphine became aware of Felix again when he appeared beside Sarah, holding three glasses in one hand and a bottle of whiskey in the other.
“How serious is it?” Sarah asked, looking at Delphine, as Felix placed the glasses he had been holding on his coffee table and then began to pour whiskey into them.
“It is a degenerative condition,” Delphine replied, blinking quickly, her voice raspier than usual as she struggled to remain in control of her frayed emotions. “It will get worse,” she breathed out shakily, unable to help herself from looking down at Cosima again.
“Is it fatal?” Sarah asked softly, reflectively reaching out for the glass Felix handed her, though she didn’t really seem to be aware of the drink once it was in her hand.
“It could be,” Delphine replied, her jaw clenching tensely. “But it will not come to that.”
“No?” Sarah asked, arching a dark eyebrow at the blonde.
“No,” Delphine confirmed, her voice and gaze firm as she held Sarah’s eyes. “I will not let it.”
“You won’t …” Sarah began before releasing a dark, derisive little laugh. “From Mata Hari to Nostradamus, is it? You can see the fucking future now, can you?” Sarah continued caustically before she looked down at her hand and jerked back a little, as if she was surprised to find a drink in it.
“No,” Delphine murmured, not backing down in the face of Sarah contempt. “I’m an immunologist. And I’m good,” she continued, her eyes flashing defiantly as she stared at Sarah. “I’ve already begun work, and I’ll continue, day and night, until I discover the cause of the condition and the solution to it. I’ll not stop until she’s well again,” Delphine vowed. “These are not mere words, but truth. I will see them realized.”
Sarah’s eyes held Delphine’s after the blonde finished speaking. She scanned Delphine’s face, studying her with hard, keen eyes for a minute and then she released a tired sigh and leaned against the back of the arm chair.
“See that they are,” Sarah breathed out wearily, and then she brought the drink in her hand up to her lips and took a long sip. “Wake her up.”
“She’s,” Delphine began automatically.
“Tired, I know,” Sarah cut in before Delphine could finish. “I understand that. I’m not being a twat, alright. This is important,” she repeated, agitated and pleading as she gestured at Cosima. “I … I need her, okay. I need her brain,” she continued, her chin quivering slightly as she began to blink more rapidly. “Fuck,” she breathed out raggedly. “At this point I’ll even take yours,” she muttered, meeting Delphine’s eyes for a second before she lifted a shaky hand up to her face again and took another sip of her drink. “Wake her up.”
When Sarah had first started speaking, Delphine’s instinct had been to protest waking Cosima up and to keep on protesting it. However, as Sarah continued Delphine’s urge to fight her had sputtered and then died. Sarah was clearly scared, and lost, and desperate. Whatever was going on, it was serious, and Delphine knew that Cosima would want to help. Cosima always wanted to help. And for that matter, Delphine wanted to help too.
“Ma chérie,” Delphine breathed out tenderly, bringing her hand up to Cosima’s cheek.
Sarah released an aggravated sigh and fell heavy against the back of the armchair. Delphine ignored her, refusing to be rushed. Cosima had been in a deep sleep, a sleep her body obviously needed and she wasn’t going to rip her out of it.
“Cosima,” she said a little louder, stroking her fingers along Cosima’s cheek before she cupped her face firmly in her hand. “You must wake up,” Delphine went on, giving Cosima a little shake.
“Delphine?” Cosima whispered a minute later, blinking slowly as she finally began to stir, her voice raspy and rough with sleep and from the coughing fits that had been attacking her on and off all day.
“Oui,” Delphine murmured, smiling gently. “You’re okay,” she whispered, running her hand tenderly down Cosima’s arm as Cosima’s blinked open and then finally stayed that way. “Sarah’s here,” Delphine informed her softly a moment later.
“Sarah?” Cosima repeated softly, her mind still a little sluggish with sleep. “Sarah,” she breathed more firmly a second later as the rest of the lights in her brain fully turned on, making her cognizant of where she was and what was happening.
Delphine held out her glasses to her, and Cosima accepted them with a soft ‘thank you.’ She slipped the glasses on, and then she shifted off of Delphine and began to scan the area around her in search of Sarah.
“What’s wrong?” Cosima asked when she located Sarah.
They had only met in person two other times, but Cosima had seen Sarah’s face over her computer almost every day since Sarah had learned of her existence. She knew Sarah’s face. She was familiar with her expressions and what emotions they conveyed, and what she saw on Sarah’s face at that moment alarmed her greatly.
Sarah’s lips parted to speak, but no sound came out of them. She simply stared at Cosima as her eyes shimmered with barely contained tears, too overwhelmed with emotion to speak. Cosima had never seen Sarah at a loss for words before, and seeing Sarah this choked up, scared her.
She looked over at Felix, hoping that he could shed some light on the situation.
“Kira,” Felix managed to get out.
His voice was flat in a way Cosima had never heard before, and his face, which was usually so expressive, was blank. He looked and sounded numb.
Cosima’s heart began to beat more quickly.
Panic began to rise.
“What about her?” Cosima asked, confused and anxious.
She wanted to reach out and shake one of them until they snapped out of the fog they were in enough to give her a proper answer, but she clamped down on her feelings and tried to keep her voice steady and calm. Freaking out on them would not help.
“Is she okay?” Cosima continued, though the fact that she did not see Kira in the loft made her fearful of the answer to that question.
Sarah shook her head once, and then again, and again, and the tears that had been welling in her eyes finally began fall as she continued to shake her head from side to side.
“Sarah,” Cosima breathed out, her heart aching as she saw Sarah breakdown.
Cosima slipped off of the couch and moved over to Sarah, kneeling on the ground before her.
She took Sarah’s free hand into her own and squeezed it tightly.
“Sarah,” she said softly, her voice gently insistent. “What happened?”
“They’re gone,” Sarah breathed out raggedly, finally finding her voice as she looked down into Cosima’s compassionate eyes. “Kira … Mrs. S … they’re … gone.”
“Gone?” Cosima questioned as gently as she could, her eyebrows creasing in confusion as her eyes searched Sarah’s face, looking for clues as to how she should interpret that statement.
“Missing,” Sarah whispered, tears leaking from the corners of her eyes. “The house was empty. She took her. They’re gone. She took her. She took her.”
“Who…” Cosima began, turning to look at Felix again, still completely lost. “Who took who? Was it Helena? Did she--”
Felix shook his head.
“That peroxide psyclone is deader than disco,” Felix replied, the words sounding like him though they were delivered without any of his usual panache. “Mrs. S,” he tried to continue, but he paused and squeezed his eyes shut, his words blocked by some internal force.
He looked away from Cosima.
“The picture,” he murmured a few seconds later, looking over at Sarah. “Show her the bloody picture.”
Sarah didn’t move and she didn’t say anything, she just continued to stare at him.
“Show me the picture,” Cosima said, mirroring Felix’s words. “Sarah,” she repeated louder, hoping that if she sounded commanding enough Sarah would instinctively obey.
Sarah turned to look at her.
“Show me the picture,” Cosima repeated firmly.
Without a word, Sarah pulled her hand out of Cosima’s and reached into the pocket of her jacket.
A moment later she pulled out a bloodied, crumpled photograph and held it out to Cosima.
Cosima’s heart clenched when she saw the blood on the photograph. The condition of the photograph alarmed her, but despite her fear, Cosima reached out and took the photograph from Sarah’s limp fingers.
The picture was taken in a lab, but it was it was clearly not a standard lab because left of center there was a man dressed in a black uniform holding a large gun of some type. The word ‘rifle’ came into Cosima’s mind, but she didn’t know enough about guns to be sure. In the center of the picture stood a man and woman, both in lab coats looking at the camera. The woman held a clipboard in her hands, and from their arrangement it seemed as if she had been showing the man something when they were interrupted by the photographer.
Cosima turned the photograph over again. There was writing on the back. Profs. ___________ & __________. The names were blacked out. Project LEDA. July 22, 1977.
Cosima turned the photograph over again and stared at the faces of the man and woman for a few more seconds. There was still no recognition. She didn’t know who these people were, though she suspected they had something to do with the creation of herself and her ‘sisters’ since Sarah was showing the picture to her.
“I don’t understand,” Cosima exhaled finally, her tone apologetic as she looked up at Sarah.
Sarah reached out and pointed at the woman in the photograph.
“I think,” Sarah paused for a moment, overwhelmed by the reality of whatever it was she was going to say. “I think that’s Siobhan. Mrs. S,” she finally managed to choke out.
She’d been staring at the picture the whole ride back to Felix’s loft. She’d never seen any pictures of Siobhan when the woman was younger – which she now realized was quite suspicious – so it was impossible to be completely sure, but there were similarities between the face of the young woman in the picture and the face of the older woman who had raised her. The hair and the clothes were different, the face was less lined, was less harassed, but the eyes and the nose and mouth were familiar.
“You’re sure?” Cosima asked carefully.
Sarah looked over at Felix who reluctantly nodded his head.
The face in the photograph had sparked a jolt of recognition inside of him too when he’d gotten a good look at it.
“It makes sense,” Sarah began, looking back over at Cosima. “She’s my monitor. She has to be. I should have fucking seen it sooner!” she exclaimed, some of the fire Cosima was used to hearing in her voice finally showing itself. “There was no one else. No one it could’ve … other than Fe no one else has ever been around me for long enough to keep track of anything I do. I should’ve…”
Sarah’s body became unnaturally still as she stared forward.
“She barely blinked when she met Allison,” Sarah said, seemingly speaking to herself, connecting the dots in her head out loud. “She just accepted it. No muss, no bloody fuss. ‘Oh, she’s your clone then, is she? Right. Well … tea I think. And biscuits. Who’s for biscuits?’” Sarah continued, mimicking Mrs. S as she recalled how calmly the woman had taken the news, had taken the reality of Allison sitting at her kitchen table, crying and knocking over mugs.
Sarah released a humorless laugh.
“They knew. They always fucking knew. About me. About Kira.”
They’d lost track of her for those ten months when life had overwhelmed her and she’d disappeared to try and figure out how to get her shit together, but they’d always known about her existence and Kira’s. They’d just been biding their time.
Delphine made a small sound from where she was sitting on the far end of the couch and Cosima turned from Sarah to look at her.
“What is it?” Cosima asked.
Delphine’s eyes shifted from Cosima to Sarah, who was now staring at her as well.
She looked down, deeply uncomfortable, but forced herself to speak.
“Your Mrs. S,” Delphine began carefully, aware that what she was about to say was not going to win her any points with Sarah. “She may not be a complete black hat. When I … when I spoke to Aldous,” she went on, speaking quickly, “he was surprised to hear your name. I think that maybe your Mrs. S did not tell him you were in contact with her again. He asked me nothing about Kira, and I said nothing about her. It is … is very likely that he did not know anything about her until your arrest.”
If looks could kill, Delphine would have been vaporized into ash as soon as the words ‘when I spoke to Aldous’ came out of her mouth, but despite how coiled and hostile her posture had become, Sarah held herself back and remained seated in the arm chair.
“She …” Cosima began, drawing Sarah’s attention back to her. “She may be right,” Cosima continued despite the anger that flared in Sarah’s eyes at her defense of Delphine. “If Leekie was surprised to hear your name, then it means Mrs. S didn’t tell him you were back. She could … I mean, Sarah, what if she’s gone native? Or like, clone, I guess, in this case. She raised you, she gave you bathes, read you bedtime stories, packed your lunch, looked over your homework…”
“Homework?” Felix guffawed from his chair.
Sarah looked over at him and glared, but Felix just shrugged.
“The point is,” Cosima began, trying to get them back on track. “She took care of you for decades. She loved you. Maybe, looking after you, looking after Kira, she came to realize the ramifications of her actions and she’s actually been trying to … protect you?”
“Are we still talking about Mrs. S here?” Sarah asked, looking past Cosima towards Delphine before she directed her gaze back to Cosima, her implication clear.
“Yes,” Cosima replied, a little bite in a voice as she stared at Sarah. “Yes,” she repeated loudly, and Sarah backed down a little. “Listen,” Cosima tried again. “If Leekie didn’t know you were back …”
“That’s a big bloody ‘if’,” Sarah interjected.
“Delphine said …”
“Why the shit should I give a flying fuck what Delphine said?” Sarah asked hotly.
“Because she just spent hours helping me decode our DNA,” Cosima replied, just as passionately as Sarah. “Because if she hadn’t been here and hadn’t been working with me I never would have learned about the patent and we would have ended up signing our lives away to Dyad like Allison did. That’s why!”
Sarah and Cosima stared at each other for a few tense moments and then Sarah finally averted her eyes to the side.
“Whatever,” Sarah muttered. “I’m not about to give her a fucking biscuit, so you could as well get on with it.”
Cosima sighed irritably, but chose to follow Sarah’s advice.
“If,” she began a bit peevishly, “we believe that Leekie didn’t know you were back in Toronto and that he didn’t know about Kira until very recently, it means that Mrs. S has been protecting you since you got back and that she’s kept Kira’s existence a secret since her birth.
“When you were arrested, the names of everyone in that house would have been recorded. Dyad paid for your lawyer, and as your legal council would have gained access to all of the paperwork on your arrest. Kira wasn’t a secret anymore. Given this rapid and incredible change in circumstance, it makes sense that Mrs. S might have made like, a tactical retreat with Kira.
“Cops sniffing around could have led to Kira being taken into protective custody, and Dyad taking away your lawyer could have led to the same outcome. If Kira was placed in the system, even temporarily, it would have been very easy for a company with Dyad’s resources to gain access to her, to maybe even gain legal custody.
“Sarah, I think there’s a very good chance that Mrs. S might have moved Kira to keep her safe; to keep her out of Dyad’s reach,” Cosima continued pointedly, staring at the side of Sarah’s face until Sarah looked over at her. “I … I think she’ll call,” Cosima said more gently when Sarah looked at her. “I think there’s really a very good chance that she’ll try to make contact.”
Sarah bit down on her bottom lip as she gazed at Cosima, her chest rising and falling rapidly as they watched each other.
“Fuck,” Sarah breathed, sounding pained. “I wish I could believe you,” she said shaking her head from side to side for a few moments before she went still and silent, staring at Felix’s wall with unseeing eyes.
She stood abruptly.
“Maybes aren’t enough, Cos,” Sarah said, running an agitated hand through her hair as she started to pace. “My daughter is missing! I can’t just sit around waiting for Mrs. S to call. I have to do something!”
“What?” Cosima asked.
Cosima’s voice was rough when she spoke, and before Sarah could respond she started to cough. Delphine was beside her immediately; her hand rubbing up and down Cosima’s back as her body was wracked by coughs, and when the fit passed both Delphine and Cosima looked down at Cosima’s hand. There was no blood, this time, but the fit had obviously tired Cosima and once it had passed she leaned against Delphine, using the blonde’s body to help keep her upright.
“What are you going to do?” Cosima asked Sarah, her voice weaker and raspier than it had been a couple minutes before.
“I’m,” Sarah began automatically, before pausing when she realized that she didn’t actually know what she was going to do. She was silent for a little while as her mind buzzed, trying to formulate a plan of attack. “I’m going back to Mrs. S’s,” she continued. “Gonna have a look around. One thing I learned being Beth is that people always leave clues behind. There is something there, and I’m gonna find it.”
“I think you mean we’re gonna find it,” Felix corrected, drawing Sarah’s eyes over to him. “Two eyes are better than one … or whatever,” he continued waving his hand dismissively. “The point is, I’m coming with you, so just resign yourself to being the second best looking person in the car.”
Sarah offered Felix a small, but genuine smile and nodded her head.
Felix nodded back at her and then moved to grab his jacket.
“We’ll come t …” Cosima began to say, but partway through her sentence, her face contorted in pain, and then she was coughing, her body shaking violently as warm liquid hit her palms and the coppery taste of blood filled her mouth.
“God, Cosima,” Sarah breathed out in concern, moving closer to her ‘sister’ until she was able to kneel before Cosima as Cosima had knelt before her earlier on.
The violent fits wracking Cosima’s body had slowed, but she was still coughing a little and Sarah turned to look at Delphine, whose hand was once again moving up and down Cosima’s back.
“I’m okay,” Cosima said, drawing Sarah’s gaze back over to her. Her voice was weak, barely louder than a whisper. “Relatively speaking,” she added a second later, her blood-stained lips turning up wryly.
Sarah smiled back, but it was strained. It was hard to smile when she had just seen Cosima cough up blood, while Cosima’s lips were still painted red.
“Get some rest, yeah,” Sarah said, reaching out to squeeze Cosima’s thigh. “Fe and I’ll be fine,” she continued, leaving her hand on Cosima’s leg for a few seconds longer before she finally pulled away and stood up again. “Look after her,” Sarah directed at Delphine, the softness that had been in her eyes seconds ago as she looked at Cosima gone as she stared down at Delphine. “Remember what you promised,” she continued, a steely edge entering her voice.
Delphine nodded.
“I do. I will,” she breathed out, and Sarah nodded, seemingly placated by her response.
Sarah turned and walked towards Felix who placed his hand lightly on her back, and then they headed for the door. Sarah removed the screwdriver which secured the door and slid it open, and then they were gone, leaving Cosima and Delphine alone in the loft for the second time that night.
Cosima’s eyes followed Felix and Sarah until they were out of sight and then she turned back to Delphine. Her lips parted to speak, but before she could utter a single syllable, Delphine lifted a rosewood coloured cloth to her lips and gently dabbed away the blood that dotted them.
“Thank you,” Cosima breathed out when Delphine lowered the cloth.
“De rien,” she murmured in response, a little smile touching her lips before her eyebrows knitted together and she said, “I mean--”
“It’s okay,” Cosima interrupted with a smile. “I know that one,” she continued.
Delphine’s lips curved up gently and Cosima lifted her hand, intending to stroke Delphine’s cheek, but she soon saw that her palm and fingers where spotted with blood and quickly drew her hand back.
“Today,” Cosima began theatrically. “Sucks,” she declared before sighing deeply.
Delphine nodded sympathetically. “Come,” she said a moment later, reaching for Cosima’s hands, heedless of the blood of them. “Let’s clean you up,” she continued, helping Cosima to her feet, and then wrapping an arm around her to help keep her steady.
“I can walk on my own,” Cosima protested faintly, though she was actually grateful for the comforting warmth and solidness of Delphine’s body against her.
“Oui,” Delphine murmured. “But you do not have to,” she continued softly, before beginning to lead Cosima towards the bathroom.
When they reached the bathroom, Delphine turned on the hot water tap and then ducked out of the room for a second to fetch another dark coloured wash cloth. When she returned, she dampened the cloth and then brought it to Cosima’s face, properly cleansing it of blood. Cosima’s eyes closed as the warm cloth gilded over her lips and chin, and then as it caressed her hands, wiping them free of blood as well. When she was finished, Delphine leaned forward and pressed her lips tenderly against Cosima’s forehead, and Cosima sighed and wrapped her arms around Delphine, hugging her tightly.
“I’m terrified and super pissed,” Cosima whispered against Delphine’s chest where her face was nestled. “But I feel like I could sleep for days; weeks actually … maybe through the rest of winter. Like a chipmunk.”
“Mon petit tamia,” Delphine murmured, tightening her arms around Cosima as she pressed her lips to the top of her head.
“No,” Cosima moaned, shaking her head a little where it was pressed against Delphine’s chest. “Not another nickname.”
“Oui, another nickname,” Delphine replied. “I will soon have one for every day of the week. Imagine. ‘Cosima, it is mon trésor, this means half-price day at the cinema. Shall we see a film?’” Delphine said playfully, and Cosima smiled against her, utterly charmed by Delphine, as she had been since they had met.
“How are you so adorable?” Cosima asked, tangling their fingers together as she drew her head back from Delphine’s chest so that she could see her face.
“It is my mother’s fault,” Delphine breathed out. “She ate too many cakes when she was pregnant with me, and now I am too sweet to resist,” she finished, smiling cutely.
Cosima rolled her eyes in response because no one should been beguiling while saying something so ridiculous. Delphine was however, and after rolling her eyes, Cosima pushed herself up onto her toes and kissed Delphine, unwilling and unable to resist the blonde when she was being so precious.
“Merci,” Delphine whispered, her eyes still closed when Cosima’s lips finally parted from hers.
“Merci?” Cosima repeated, smiling a little.
That was new.
She’d gotten compliments on her kissing before, but never a ‘thank you’.
Delphine’s eyes fluttered open, and when she realized what she had said, her cheeks coloured.
“Merci,” she breathed out again, despite her blush, lifting her hand to Cosima’s face so that she could stroke her cheek gently.
The truth was that not too long ago she had feared that Cosima would never kiss her again; that she would never see Cosima look at her with tenderness and longing again. Cosima allowing her to hold her and kiss her earlier that evening had helped to alleviate some of Delphine’s fear, but having Cosima initiate a kiss herself reduced it even more. The truth was that she was grateful for the kiss. She was thankful for it. And though it embarrassed her somewhat, she did not regret speaking.
Cosima’s eyes closed as Delphine touched her, and her hand lifted to cover Delphine’s, holding it against her cheek.
“I think I need to lie down,” Cosima whispered after a few seconds.
She was enjoying Delphine’s touch and peace her brought to her troubled mind and heart, but she was beginning to feel a little dizzy.
“Okay,” Delphine breathed, taking hold of Cosima again to help keep her steady.
Together they made their way out of the bathroom, and Delphine led them over to Felix’s bed.
“Felix will not like us sleeping in his bed, Goldilocks,” Cosima murmured when she realized where Delphine was leading them.
“You need to rest and for that you need a bed,” Delphine replied, not pausing for a moment. “We’ll not be doing anything naughty in it, so it is only a little rude.”
“He’s gonna get Sarah to kick your willowy arse,” Cosima said with a little smile as Delphine helped her onto the edge of the bed.
“She can try,” Delphine replied. “Not all French are shit at fighting. We are not just lovers,” she said seriously.
“No argument from me,” Cosima said holding up her hands. “JCVD dude, your argument is completely valid.”
“JCVD?” Delphine asked looking adorably confused as pulled back the comforter and sheet, readying the bed for them to sleep in.
“Jean-Claude Van Damme,” Cosima responded, and Delphine groaned in response, which only made Cosima smile.
“He’s not from France, you know,” Delphine commented as Cosima lifted her feet onto the bed and then shimmied under the covers. “He’s Belgian. You could not think of any French fighters?”
Cosima looked a little chagrined as Delphine gazed down at her expectantly. The American education system did not emphasize French combat victories, individual or as a nation, so the list of figures she was able to mentally compile was regrettably short.
“Fleur Delacour?” Cosima ventured.
Delphine sighed again.
“Fictional. And she came in last,” Delphine pointed out as she slipped onto the bed.
“Napoleon?” Cosima offered.
“Better,” Delphine murmured, sounding slightly mollified. “Wait, was this your whole list?” she asked a few moments later when Cosima did not offer another name. She no longer sounded mollified.
“No,” Cosima replied quickly, though it actually had been her entire list and now her brain was scrambling to come up with someone else. “Of course not,” she continued, trying to buy time. “Two things is hardly even a list, so of course that wouldn’t be it. I’m quite sleepy you know,” she went on beginning to build a defense for herself in case she couldn’t think of anything else, but then an idea struck her. “But even so, I still remember The Three Musketeers,” she finished, feeling quite pleased with herself.
“You just thought of that,” Delphine accused.
She’d spent a lot of time watching Cosima, and she knew when her mind was working a mile a minute trying to piece together a puzzle, and she had just seen Cosima’s brain madly searching.
“Whatever,” Cosima shrugged. “All that matters is whether or not you meet the deadline. And I did. Thank you.”
“Cheeky monkey,” Delphine breathed out, charmed despite Cosima’s impertinence.
“At least this nickname is in English,” Cosima murmured.
“Singe coquin,” Delphine replied immediately, grinning at Cosima, and this time it was Cosima’s turn to sigh. “You know, I think I like this one. It fits you very well,” Delphine continued thoughtfully, and Cosima shifted her arm from where she had rested it over Delphine’s stomach so that she could pinch the blonde’s side. “You only convince me with this behavior,” Delphine went on as she slapped at Cosima’s hand, knocking it away from her.
Cosima stared at her for a moment and then stuck out her tongue to be bratty.
Delphine smiled at her, completely unperturbed, and Cosima’s expression gentled before she lowered her head back down to its former resting place on Delphine’s chest.
“Fais de beaux rêves ma chérie et bonne nuit,”sweet dreams my darling and goodnight, Delphine breathed out as Cosima settled peacefully against her once again.
“You know I have no idea what you’re saying, right?” Cosima murmured sleepily, beginning to fall even as she continued to converse with Delphine.
“I know,” Delphine breathed out. “But you like it when I speak French,” she pronounced with confidence.
She hadn’t missed the goofy little smiles that touched Cosima’s lips whenever she spoke French. She loved those little smiles. She wanted to bring those smiles to Cosima’s lips as much as possible.
“I do,” Cosima sighed softly. “It just sounds so nice,” she went on, her words slurring together slightly, her body pulling her towards sleep as her mind tried to fight it for just a while longer. “Say more,” she requested, her voice barely louder than a whisper.
Delphine was quiet for a moment as she pondered Cosima’s request, then she began to speak.
“Elle est debout sur mes paupières/Et ses cheveux sont dans les miens,” She is standing on my eyelids/And her hair is wound in mine, Delphine began, reciting a poem she had memorized for a presentation for literature class while she was in high school. She’d had to repeat the poem over and over and over again in order to remember it, and as a result the poem had lodged itself in her brain, seemingly for all time.
Cosima mumbled something incoherent and she hugged Delphine against her.
Delphine could tell that she was very nearly asleep so she brought her hand to Cosima’s back and began to stroke it gently, hoping to help ease Cosima the rest of the way into slumber, continuing to recite the poem as she did.
Less than a minute later, Cosima was sleeping peacefully, and Delphine closed her tired eyes and allowed the steady rise and fall of Cosima’s breath to guide her sleep as well.
The End