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1
“That is, inarguably, the most ugliest thing I have ever seen in all my life.”
Vegeta said with a sour face sitting across the lofty couch next to Bulma with his arms wrapped around his chest. Bra was sitting, legs crossed right in front of the TV, swaying along and singing with the ear-grating beat of the music.
“It's a children's show,” Bulma replied, eyeing Vegeta dryly. “Of course you're not going to like it, you're a grown man. Plus, no way this is the peak of ugliness to you. You were in the Frieza Force.”
“And they didn't screech at your ears about vegetables, did they?” He shot back.
On the screen, was a bright red potato-shaped cartoon character with two extremely detailed pupils for eyes, a curved simple smile, a wide mustache and a monocle on its left to boot. It was singing a repetitive high-pitched song alongside other smaller colourful characters on a field beside it about steamed vegetables or something.
“Do they have to look so garish? Is this what you Earthlings subject your young watch? Absolutely not.” He reached out for the remote on the couch's side to change the channel before Bulma quickly snatched it away. “Nope.” She glared “C'mon, Bra loves this show! it only airs once a week and she can never stop talking about how much she looks forward to seeing it.” She chided, placing the remote behind her back.
Vegeta groaned, sitting back on the sofa and looked back at Bra and the TV. She was clapping her hands along with the songs that sounded more like some form of brainwashing chant to his ears Frieza used to punish deserting soldiers he recaptured. The fat red one was doing some sort of waddling dance from its left to right feet and rambling on about different types of birds. Its voice was absolutely obnoxious to Vegeta, distorted by voice-editing to sound like a baritone creepy old lunatic and always ending its sentences with a loud squeak.
It reminded him of Cui somehow, and that was not a good thing.
Vegeta couldn't understand the appeal of the show nor why Bra was so enamoured with it.
Is this a staple for what all Earthling children watch? Some form of social initiation once they are no longer in their infancy stage of their life? He scoffed. Either way, he didn't want his daughter watching more of that slow-witted junk anymore.
“This is definitely making her stupid. Change the channel and put on something else.”
“It's educational.” Bulma quipped back, holding the remote away from Vegeta as he tried to reach for it back from his hands.
“In what legitimate way?” He sneered, pointing at the TV—where it was now currently chattering about the topic of multi-coloured fishes.
“It's..”
Bulma went quiet for a moment, watching her daughter and the TV to look for a good reason on how exactly it's educational.
“It's experimental.” Bulma blurted out. “Children trying new things is good for their early development, no? You wouldn't get it, you're an alien.”
Vegeta narrowed his eyes at Bulma—who was staring right back at him in challenge to question her. He huffed and stormed away from the room in his usual manner.
2
You wouldn't get it, you're an alien.
Vegeta didn't know whether to laugh or mock Bulma for that, he thought to himself as he was training inside. Any form of Earthling culture in this dirt-ball was meaningless to him in the first place but the idea of him being oblivious, confused or worse, foolish at something left a bad taste in his mouth.
It's not as if Earth's customs and the entertainment they engaged in were in any way whatsoever complex, highbrow or deep compared to the experiences he's seen. If somebody as daft as Kakarot could do it, why couldn't he? So the first thing he did after he was done training was take a shower, get dressed and immediately head to the large living room decorated excessively of useless props and weirdly textured carpets with annoying beads you accidentally step on in the back that almost cuts your toes (as of Bulma's insisted style choice she liked to keep consistent around the house like a dictator.)
He sat rigidly on the sofa to “observe” the TV in front of him as he's seen Bra and Trunks usually do, and as he was going to pick up the remote until he realised in the corner of his eye Bra walked in the room—still wearing her school uniform as she skipped over.
“You're early.” He gruffed, quickly crossing his arms.
“Teachers’ meeting.” She chirps, sitting right next to him and snatching away the remote bluntly from his hands. She turned on the TV and scrolled through the channels until it finally stopped on that cursed eye-sore of a show again.
Bra's face was plastered with a giant grin as she sang along with the characters once again as she did last time. Vegeta openly wanted to grimace with the worst sigh in his entire life, but he didn't want to sully Bra's upbeat mood, so he beared it as he just stared off into the wall.
“What is this?” A green scrawny-looking zucchini wearing a sun-hat squeals. “A cabbage, a carrot or an onion?”
Ah. He wanted to break this TV.
“Is it a boat? A fridge?” The deformed purple one on the right questions. Bra giggled at that but Vegeta felt like ripping out his eardrums. How was this remotely educational in the least? A bunch of hideous coloured blobs screaming at you? He swiftly reached for the remote Bra clutched in her small hands and changed the channel to some random safari documentary.
Bra looked at him blankly for a moment, then at the TV, and soon right back at him.
"Why'd you do that for?"
"The show you're watching wont do you any good. Watch this instead." Or preferably, watch anything else he mused silently. The TV was showing a kangaroo passing by the rivers very slowly while shaking its head around for some reason. Bra tried to get the remote back from his hands but Vegeta just lifted his arms out of her reach. She creased her eyebrows and visibly frowned until she just spat out her tongue and left.
"I didn't want to watch it anyway!"