Chapter Text
“Khh…khh…”
Sobs filled the empty tunnel, echoing and reverberating off the walls. The soft plip, plop of falling tears was the only other sound in the darkness.
“They left me…Hngh…”
Fu buried his face in his arms, curling into himself on the ground while trying to take up as little space as possible. Despite the vastness of the tunnel, the very air seemed to thicken and close in on him. “Because I couldn’t do anything…They left me behind…!!”
“Why won’t anyone tell me what to do…?! Hic…What do you m-mean…I’m ‘flawed’?”
“Orders…I need orders…” Fu desperately mumbled to himself, attempting to crawl forward before giving up and just letting his tears fall freely as his body lay weakly on the floor. He fell sideways, limp on his arm, quaking every so often with each sob. “Hngh…It’s no use…compared to the other two newcomers, I'm pathetic…so pathetic that Zodyl won’t even give me orders…!”
He didn’t want this!! It wasn’t fair for him to just be tossed aside like that.
All he ever wanted was to follow someone’s orders, no matter what it was—was that really so wrong?! Instead, he’d been left behind. Thrown back out into the cruel world.
“I really, really miss the light that comes from Cthoni’s manhole…” Fu muttered, quivering on the cold floor of the trash beast. His thoughts slowed as Fu came to the realization that he might just die here.
But maybe that wouldn’t be so bad.
It’s not like anyone would miss him, or even remember him for that matter. No one would care.
I should’ve disappeared so long ago.
The realization dawned on him. Perhaps this was Fu’s fate all along, to rot away in some horrid trash beast’s stomach, like the equally ugly trash he always was. Absolutely useless garbage whose only use was to take up space.
Yeah…That’d work, Fu decided, his breathing slowing down as his sobs quieted to tiny whimpers. There’s no point in trying anymore. I’ll just die here and save everyone the trouble of lugging me around.
Silence filled the tunnel once more as Fu gaze clouded over, the only movements being from his shaking body.
...Man, you fucking disgust me.
Hii…!!
Fu whipped his head around as he jolted upright, teary eyes widening in shock at the voice booming in his head.
I’m at my limit. You really can’t do anything without me after all, you useless piece of shit.
“Hic…Master Hii…!!” Fu let out the breath he didn’t even know he was holding, whispering the name like a prayer as his body trembled with excitement. Gone was the earlier resignation when he practically prepared for certain death. Hii’s commanding voice in his mind was heavenly intervention for the boy as the tension dissipated from his entire body and a wide, strangled grin overtook his tear-filled face.
If we’ve been abandoned here to fend for ourselves…Then we’ll just escape. Hii stated matter-of-factly, before pausing slightly. Thinking.
Let me take over from here.
“Yes…Yes, Master Hii…!!” Voice filled with reverence, Fu let his own senses slowly become distant as darkness filled his world once more, like he was drifting away from his own body.
His head slowly lulled back, eyes fluttering shut.
Seconds, or perhaps even minutes passed before Fu showed any signs of movement again.
His head suddenly snapped forward with a sharp pop that filled the tunnel, wide eyes narrowed into a piercing gaze assessing the area around him.
What had originally been a sloppy, unsteady mess of a person was replaced by a pointed, distinct figure. Rising to his feet, he radiated an arrogant calmness as he stood upright. The once soft features of his face especially turned into something rougher, bringing on a sharper, more angular edge. Fu—or rather, Hii—lazily stretched his arms over his head, bones cracking from disuse.
“…Hm.”
His body felt slightly exhausted from all the crying Fu had done, but it didn't matter. Hii had promised to help them escape from here, and he will. And with that, Hii set his eyes on finding a way out of the trash beast.
Protecting Fu was his priority, after all, and to do that he needed to get them to somewhere safe. Even after walking endless miles and his legs tiring despite his abundant stamina, Hii continued onwards.
It would be hours before the two are able to climb out of the wreckage from the fallen trash beast, the breeze of fresh air against their face a welcome relief. Or, at least, would've been if they weren't both too bordered on exhaustion to even care.
After choosing each other, their codependency practically became a necessity, even if not just for survival.
They had survived another day. Together. Like always.
Fu is a part of Hii, and Hii is a part of Fu.
No matter what trials or tribulations get thrown at the two, no matter the amount of petty arguments they get into, and no matter how Fu’s doubts and insecurities try to tell him otherwise, that much will never change.
Waking up, Fu would find that Hii had dragged their body across the border of the polluted zone before taking shelter in some old car. The old, ragged cushions of the backseat were rock hard and far from comfortable, but Fu couldn’t help but lay there for a moment longer, letting the pieces of ripped cushion poke at him. There was an aching feeling in his legs from the night before, and his eyes still felt slightly heavy. Bringing a hand up to his face, he felt his dried-up makeup, which was messy and had run down his face from his tears.
You’re gonna need to re-apply that.
“Hii! Good morning!” Fu squeaked out, raising his head towards nothing in particular, the bright sunlight harshly beaming down onto his face. It was going to be a good day.
Yeah. Nice morning to look like a fucking bimbo that just got ditched!! How useless can you be? Can’t even wear makeup properly. For fuck’s sake.
Fu hurried to cut the other off before Hii could continue his barrage of insults first thing in the morning. “T-The Cleaners!! We need to join them!” He nodded to himself in assurance.
…What?
“Enjin…That Cleaner, he should be our new host! B-back there…In the trash beast, Enjin the Cleaner…He said that he wouldn’t leave anyone behind.” And…he didn’t.
“I will be the banner, the ensign to bring everyone together.”
Hearing those words then, Fu was filled with confusion. Confusion at Cleaner’s leader for his bold words when they were for sure on the losing side. Confusion at the Raiders for how utterly uncaring and different they were, how Noerde was just left to be a sacrifice. Confusion at himself, at the warm feeling that bloomed at the pit of his stomach, drawing him to the Cleaner who shone like the sun.
What would it feel like to be with someone like that?
A gnawing feeling of want had itched at him then, and now, after being left by the Raiders, it became a clear need.
It could’ve just been an empty promise at the heat of the moment, but Enjin was true to his word. Every single member of his team, even the seriously injured boy with brown and blond hair and sharp eyes had survived. None of them were left behind.
Well, Hii’s clear voice snapped Fu out of his reminiscing, If that’s what you want, then get on it.
“Yes! Yes, okay!” At the order, Fu quickly hopped out of the dark red, broken-down car. Trash was piled all around him as far as he could see, and the initial simmer of excitement in his body dimmed.
Idiot. Canvas Town isn’t too far from here, so go there first.
His flame of hope rekindled, Fu practically skipped the entire way at the prospect of having a new host who’ll order him around and (hopefully) won’t leave him. With the occasional yelling from Hii as he took a few wrong turns.
-
With the gates of Canvas Town looming over him, Fu walked in while taking a careful look around, squirmish. The place was as beautiful as the last time he saw it, intricate patterns of graffiti lining the walls and ceilings everywhere he went. It made him a bit giddy as the fresh aroma of sweets and food filled the air from the many street stalls he passed.
He couldn’t wait to find the Cleaners.
Correction: It would’ve been beautiful if he wasn’t tightly hanging onto a pipe, making dents in the metal as sweat slid down his forehead.
Just moments before, Hii had ordered him to climb onto the townhouses' flat roofs to get a better view of the place so they could quickly spot the Cleaners. After spotting some familiar looking kids while on top of a cream-colored house, he hurriedly tried to find a good way to get down without breaking his bones from a jump like Hii had suggested. And here he was now, feeling his hands get more and more slippery by the second as he slowly slid down the pipe with a high-pitched squeeeak.
“Kids from the Cleaners…” Fu whispered to himself when he was a good distance down the pipe. “That’s the spherite Zodyl was so interested in...Zodyl…Zodyl? Zodyl was interested in…?” He watched as the kid with black-tipped hair started foaming at the mouth over ice cream.
The children looked harmless enough but something about them made a chill run down his spine.
But that was no matter. First and foremost, he needed to try and strike up conversation and (hopefully) get invited into the Cleaners.
My whole life will always be dictated by other people’s orders…And this time, I’m gonna live it being ordered around by Enjin the Cleaner!!
After gathering up his courage, Fu plastered on the friendliest, most crooked smile he could and sauntered awkwardly towards the group.
-
“Jabber!! Jabber’s the one that got the Watchman series shoes, sir yes, sir!!”
How did he get here…?
In the events leading up to finally meeting his new host, Enjin the Cleaner, Fu would find that his earlier feeling of dread was an omen to just how scary and unhinged the Cleaners could be.
First, he watched with fear as the other Cleaners all struggled to hold back the Spherite as he went rabid over a bunch of sweets.
Then, the last scraps of confidence Fu had dissipated when the young girl behind Rudo started cackling with a grin that rivaled Hii’s. And he definitely couldn’t bear to continue watching when the group started ruthlessly beating up a kidnapper, opting to turn tail and go tremble in a corner instead as Hii snickered in his head.
I’ll just wait ‘till they get to their destination…
So here he is now, hands plastered to his side as he stood upright, yelling out all he knew about the Raiders in hopes that the Cleaners will see his sincerity. Earlier he’d accidentally eavesdropped on their conversation about the Watchman Series shoes and decided to use it as an opportunity to get on the team’s good graces by giving away valuable information.
I don’t even want to think about what Zodyl would do if he found out…
However, it did not go as planned. Enjin immediately raised his umbrella at the Raider and accused him of having ulterior motives.
“Talk.”
“Uh, um, um…Um.” Fu stuttered nervously as he instantly held his hands up, eyes widening as he tried to form a comprehensible response. He swore he heard Hii laugh in his head.
No way…I’m already an outcast?!
Thankfully, the young spellcaster Remlin came to his rescue. “No one with ill will can come into the city. Due to the last spellcaster’s art.”
Enjin glanced at Remlin then back to Fu before slowly lowering his umbrella, suspicion still painted on his face.
“Then what do you want?”
“Please make your minion, sir!!”
“Not a chance.”
“What?! Why?!” Fu was throwing himself at the Cleaner’s feet now, begging with all the sincerity in the world. “Is it because I’m a Raider? I’ll quit! I quit the Raider! Please trust me and make me your minion, sir!” He heard a muttered ‘Idiot…’ from Hii as he bowed his head as low as he could.
“...Just a second ago, you said Jabber took the Watchman Series shoes?”
“Yes! Yes, sir!” Snapping his head back up, Fu began to recount the memory. However, once he did, he could only make a blank face as he mechanically explained Jabber challenging him to a fight right after being “all turned on” as he’d said. Even Hii lost his excitement to fight when the masochist Raider started moaning in pleasure.
The Cleaners started talking amongst themselves, but they didn’t push Fu away yet so he took that as a good sign, even if he was being ignored.
After giving the Cleaners information about the chokers, Fu was allowed to tag along on their journey to find the information broker so he could gain their trust. The whole experience was definitely…something, fighting with the raiders (Jabber) over the information broker. Afterwards, he was brought along to their headquarters, where he was then subject to interrogation from the Adderoy brothers. But thankfully, the Cleaners didn’t kick him out right after and even gave him a room, although temporary as Hii kept reminding him.
He dropped onto the bed with a sigh, feeling the mattress slightly dip with his weight. Turning to his side, Fu held his doll in one hand, mindlessly trailing his fingers over the doll's sharp, wooden edges as his thoughts drifted back to the experience.
-
Fu liked the raiders, but seeing how the Cleaners cooperated and worked together so well, he was awed.
“The Cleaners are really cool, aren’t they, Hii?”
Fu held the doll gently in his hands, a bright smile on his face.
However, the moment was quickly ruined when he turned his head to look right into stone cold eyes.
Zodyl.
What was the Raider’s boss doing here?!
Oh no, don't tell him that Zodyl was here to kill him for betraying the Raiders… But they're the ones that left him in the first place!
“Hi there! Woah, do we gotta fight over who gets the information broker?!” With a crazed look on his face, Jabber’s gaze drifted down to where Fu was sitting in the backseat. “Woah! Fu, my friend! What is this? Don’t tell me you jumped ship!”
Fu stuttered nervously, eyes wide like a deer in headlights. “UH, uh, umm-”
Oh no…Zodyl was going to kill him.
Enjin’s head suddenly popped up, glaring accusingly at Fu. “You knew this whole time, didn’t you?!”
“N-No! I-I-I didn’t know that Zodyl wanted to know who made the chokers! Nor that he wanted to find the information broker orthathewasgoingtochaseusdown, anyway, there was no way for me to know!” Fu was quick to defend himself, desperately trying to prove his innocence as he told the Cleaner everything.
“I see.”
Fu felt his soul leave his body the moment Zodyl spoke, still staring dead at him. Staring right through him. He suddenly remembered why he always dreaded seeing the Raider’s boss, the chilling feeling that ran through him, the whispers. He knows.
“I thought cutting you off would force you to learn some autonomy. But it seems that all you’ve learned is how to run your mouth in self-defense.”
“Throw him to the trash beasts with the Cleaners.
A sudden crash resounded throughout the car as Jabber jumped onto the roof, tearing Mankira into everything, a manic cackle escaping his lips. One of his claws stopped just short of Fu’s face and he quickly backed away, trembling as he curled up into a ball on the seat.
Not again.
The Cleaners were for sure going to leave him behind now that their lives were at risk because of the Raiders. Because of Fu.
Why does this always happen to me…?
For as long as he could remember, Fu was always being left behind. No matter how many hosts he found or how hard he tried to follow their orders, it was never enough.
In the end, it would always end up with only the two of them. Fu and Hii.
“They don’t matter. I chose you, and I will always choose you. Even if no one else will have you, I’ll always be here. And I will never let death do us apart.”
Fu stared at the doll in his hands, caressing the familiar soft fur lining its neck, feeling the hard wood under his fingertips as he thought back to what Hii had said then, when another host threw Fu away and he was losing his purpose. When Hii had saved him.
Fu didn't know how he was supposed to live without Hii, but he always found himself also craving other people's company.
His mind unconsciously thought not of Enjin, who was the sole reason why he tried to join the Cleaners in the first place, but instead the blue-eyed boy that was injured during the final battle inside the artificial trash beast.
Fu didn't know why he thought of that guy, he didn't even know the other's name for gods sake. It was stupid. He must be going crazy from loneliness.
But something almost seemed to pull him towards the boy.
“...Fu!!”
Fu snapped his head back up at the Supporter’s voice, eyes widening as he slowly rose from his slumped position on the backseat.
“Will you help us?”
He tilted his head, the words registering in his brain.
“I’d rather not ask a former raider, but…we’re just supporters. We can’t defeat trash beasts.”
His heart thumped wildly against his chest, threatening to break free. He felt his breath catch in his throat, swallowing down his words.
Is this what he thinks it is…?
“So, please! Help us, lend us a hand. Fu.”
…
Crash!!
Jabber stumbled back as the car roof suddenly burst open, an arm shooting out. “Oh?! What’s this?!” Surprise colored his face as he giddily jumped from one foot to the other.
Grabbing onto the side of the car roof with a hand, Fu flung himself onto the top. “Now that we’ve been ordered, we have to step up! Right, Hii?!” Talking to a voice only he could hear, he gripped the raccoon doll in his hands before bringing it forward.
“Right. It’s finally my turn! No holding back, I’m gonna give ‘em hell!!”
“It’s Hii time!!!”
-
And true to his word, Hii gave Jabber absolute hell. Or, at least, it would’ve been hell for anyone else. To Jabber, though, it must’ve been more like heaven.
Fu sighed, remembering what Hii said to Jabber as he watched from the back of their mind.
“We’ve got our order from the Cleaners, Jabber. From now on, Fu and I…will be giving a hand to your enemies.”
The grin on Jabber’s face seemed to have faltered for a moment at the time, but Hii only scoffed afterwards and told Fu that he was just imagining things, saying that the Raider didn’t care about them and just wanted someone strong to fight.
But Fu couldn’t help but cling to the inkling of hope that maybe the Raider really did care, even if just a little bit. Even if it didn’t matter to Jabber.
Maybe it was because of all those times Jabber would force Fu to listen to his long rants about whatever, or the times when Jabber would find his way into Fu’s bed in the middle of the night, making the cold air inside the Raider's base more tolerable and warm as he slung an arm over the shorter boy. Fu would constantly wake just to slowly fall asleep to the other's heavy heartbeat, audible from how close they were.
You’re pathetic.
“I know, Hii…”
Fu turned on the bed, now holding the doll outstretched above him. “Hii, that boy… Zanka, right?” recalling the name of the injured Cleaner he'd heard the nurse Eishia and Enjin talking about as Fu had himself squeezed in the corner between the table and the vending machine. Zanka. The boy Jabber randomly wouldn’t stop talking about one day, the person who suddenly became Jabber’s only fixation. “Do you think he’ll welcome us?”
Doubt it. He looks like he’d be the most suspicious fucking one.
“Then do you think he’d give us a chance?”
In your dreams, maybe.
“If we prove ourselves, do you think he’ll like us?”
Are you even fucking listening to me?
“Sorry, Hii, it’s just…” Fu trailed off, gazing to the side. He didn't know why he’s asking all of this, or why he cares so much. Maybe he was just curious about the boy Jabber liked so much. Or maybe he wanted someone to replace the warmth Jabber brought. “I want to be his friend.”
Hii was quiet for a while, scaring him. Hii rarely went quiet in the middle of conversation—only when he was deep in thought or when Fu said something to upset him. After a moment of panicking, Fu let out a sigh of relief when Hii spoke up again. Two requests in a week… the Cleaners really do have you in their grasp, don’t they?
Fu blinked in surprise, “I…I guess so.”
Fu stared at Hii, confused about what just happened, when a heavy knock on the door snapped him out of his stupor. He heard Hii snicker in his head, a tired laugh, as Fu scrambled towards the door, timidly swinging it open as he shoved the doll into his hoodie pocket.
A tall, burly man stood in front of him, practically towering over the shorter boy. He had blond hair as well as a scar on his right eye, but despite his dangerous appearance, had an easygoing smile. “Fu, is it?” The boy in question gave a quick nod. “I’m Gris, one of the supporters. Nice to meet you.”
Fu shook the extended hand. The older Cleaner had a firm handshake, his larger hand enveloping Fu’s much smaller one. Looking up, Fu felt himself slowly relax at the warm grin Gris gave him.
“I heard that you’ll be staying with us on a trial period, so I'll be giving you a tour. It’s quite easy to get lost, especially so since you’re new here.” Gris planted a rough hand onto Fu’s back, and after confirming that the boy had nothing else to do, led him out into the endless hallway.
The supporter led him through many different areas, starting from the cafeteria to the laundry room, occasionally stopping as they passed to greet some of the other Cleaners. Fu watched in awe as Gris so easily exchanged friendly greetings with everyone around them, and how tight-knit they all seemed. It was a stark contrast to the Raiders, and the wary looks they all gave each other, bound together only by missions and jobs as criminals. Of course, there was always a select few like Bundus (and Jabber) who didn’t seem to care about that and tried to interact with anyone they could. Fu felt his heart ache at the thought of the kind, older Raider and pushed it aside, deciding to not dwell on the past any longer.
The Raiders had abandoned him, and his place was with the Cleaners now. No matter how distrustful they were of him, Fu would do his best to be of use, even if he had to fight tooth and nail with Hii. As long as the Cleaners would be willing to accept him, that’d be enough.
”—And here is the infirmary. Our only nurse, Eishia, can treat any injury or sickness you have. Don’t be afraid to consult her, though she can be a bit shy.” Fu only caught part of Gris’s words when a flash of blue passed in the corner of his eye. He turned his head curiously and felt his heartbeat quicken when he noticed familiar blue earrings with tufts of dark brown and blond hair.
Zanka.
What was he doing here?!
Looking closely while definitely not trying to hide himself behind the larger Cleaner, Fu watched as Zanka conversed with Enjin in a low voice.
He had on a black haori and dark, casual clothing instead of the Cleaner uniform Fu had last seen him in. Zanka looked calm, almost serene as he spoke, his sharp eyes locked onto Enjin as they engaged in what was probably an important conversation, tying back into his formal, serious appearance.
Enjin moved his gaze towards Gris and Fu, making Zanka slightly turn his head as well. His blue eyes locked with Fu’s soft green ones for a split second, his piercing gaze assessing before the ex-raider instantly lowered his head in embarrassment, almost not daring to meet the other’s eyes.
Enjin waved a lazy hand at Gris as the supporter nodded in return, placing a hand on Fu’s shoulder to walk him back to his room, concluding the tour.
Fu could still feel Enjin and Zanka’s stares, which practically bored holes into his back and made him slouch even further in anxiousness, though Gris seemed unaffected.
Arriving at Fu’s room, the supporter got ready to leave before pausing and swiveling back around. “If you have any questions, don’t hesitate to ask me or anyone else.” Throwing him a thumbs up and wink, “Good luck on becoming a Cleaner.”
Fu’s eyes widened to an impossible degree before a goofy, crooked smile filled his face. “Yes, okay, thank you, sir!”
Closing the door shut, he collapsed against the hard wood. It wasn't until about ten minutes after Gris left did Fu finally feel the palpitations of his heart settle. Inhaling in a shaky breath, he pulled out the doll in his pocket.
Hii…did you hear that?
…Yeah. Came the disgruntled reply.
He thinks I-we have a chance!
Then don’t go screwing it up with your idiocy.
“I won’t…” Fu whispered the words to himself, even though he was unsure about the confidence he had in his own skills. Still, he brought the doll closer to his chest, almost hugging it before closing his eyes in content.
He thought back to the clear blue-eyed boy from before, the way he appeared to look right into him. Not through him. Not past him.
“I only wish we could properly meet that boy as well…”
“You're…wishing for too damn much."
They both went silent, his own happy emotions seemed to affect Hii as well with how the other’s usual sharp bite was missing in his rebuttals.
Despite Hii’s words, Fu only wished that this feeling of belonging and acceptance would last.