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Megumi Fushiguro is not naive. He has some sense of how the world works, despite what some people might think— enough to know that there's not a point in letting himself have hopes and dreams.
He's not foolish, is what he likes to tell himself.
He's not foolish, but he went and fell in love with Yuji Itadori anyways.
Itadori is something special. Megumi realized this the moment he laid eyes on him. So special, that Megumi can't help but lose all control of the emotions he used to pride himself in having. He never used to let himself think illogically, least of all selfishly.
He made good decisions, and it didn't matter how he felt about them. Quite frankly, it didn't matter how he felt at all.
Until Itadori came along, that is.
All of the sudden, Megumi finds him constantly at the forefront of his mind. He finds himself wanting to spend every moment by Itadori's side. It doesn't make sense. But then again, nothing in his world has made sense since the boy he hadn't even known for an hour swallowed a finger on a whim just to save him. A random boy that had approached him demanding answers in a time of mourning, no less.
He thinks, in some parts, meeting Itadori has changed him. He scowls a lot less these days. He finds that despite how stupid Itadori is, he has a way of causing his lips to curve into a smile at the sight of him. He finds that his heart is always beating faster than it should, that his ears always seem to be burning pink in his presence.
Missions aren't so bad now that Itadori is with him. They work well together, that much is clear. And after all is said and done, Itadori only has to ask once, and Megumi is throwing out his desire to relax just so they can spend more time together. Truly, it's never enough.
He will never be able to get his fill of Itadori—it's almost laughable how much he wants the boy. He lays awake at night, plagued with thoughts of seeing him the next day. It doesn't matter that he winds up tired, that he has bags settled deep under his eyes, because he knows that seeing Itadori will fix it all anyways. He had a knack for making Megumi feel warm inside even on his worst days.
Maybe he looks forward to waking up a little more now. It's worth it, as long as Itadori is there.
Worst of all, Megumi has started to let himself hope.
He's thought about it a lot, to his dismay. It's been obvious to him for as long as he can remember that life isn't fair. Megumi's never had the chance to have something that didn't slip through his fingers.
But If there was one thing he could have, a single moment of balance in his unequal world, it would be to capture moments like this forever.
Moments where Itadori's honey eyes sparkle at him and a wide grin stretches across his face at the sight of his best friend. Where he waves at him with all the enthusiasm in the world, because if Megumi wasn't with him, then he wasn't really having fun. Megumi wasn't sure why he was so special to Itadori, but he wasn't going to complain about a blessing. All he knows is that he loves him, and he's grateful for whatever piece of him he gets.
"Hey Fushiguro!" The pink haired boy beckons him over, looking almost relieved at his appearance. He's standing in front of one of the many vending machines scattered around campus. Before he'd noticed Megumi around the corner, his brows had been furrowed in contemplation, his pretty eyes scanning over all the options. "What do you think I should get?"
Megumi huffs out in amusement, coming to join him. His steps sound lightly against the pavement before halting to a stop next to Itadori's side. "Why are you asking me? Get whatever you like."
"But look!" Itadori presses a finger up to the glass, clearly in a bit of a dilemma. "They just restocked! Everything looks so good. I need you to help me decide, Fushiguro. This is really important. Don't mess it up!"
"Decide yourself if you don't want me to mess it up!" Megumi scoffs in offense. His gaze travels from the machine up to Itadori's face, only to be met with the sight of his lower lip jutting out pathetically. It was unnerving to see the latter pout. He only resorted to it as a desperate tactic to get Megumi to do what he wanted. Unfortunately, the both of them knew this. Even more unfortunately, it worked every time.
Megumi leans forward, humming quietly as he scans over the new options. Refreshing juices, sparkling water, sugary drinks their teacher would probably sell out within the week. He'd been getting Itadori and himself drinks offhandedly for a while now, so he has a pretty good idea of what Itadori might like. Not to mention the dinners they have together after missions, or the homemade meals they spend nights making together—
Megumi shakes off his thoughts. If he thought about how intimate things had started to get between the two of them, he might not be able to look Itadori in the eyes. And that would be a real shame. They might just be his favorite thing about him.
It was hard to decide, really, what he likes best about Itadori. He likes the warmth his presence brings to every room. He likes the thoughtfulness and care that Itadori hides behind his idiocy. He likes simple moments like this, when the two of them find solace in their own little world. That's what it felt like these days— Megumi and Itadori, Itadori and Megumi. There wasn't ever another person on his mind. Couldn't be, with how much Itadori had taken over and filled every nook inside his head.
He digs into his pocket, fishing out a handful of loose change before dropping them into the coin slot. His fingers quickly find the button for a cola and press twice. The light thud of the cans dropping into the bin sounds soon after. He pushes the plastic flap open, the rush of cold air hitting his knuckles as he reaches in to retrieve them. "Here."
Itadori graciously takes it from him, his hands lingering against Megumi. He only pulls them away when he registers the confused look that's taken over Megumi's face. Itadori clears his throat, averting his attention to the can that was now spreading a cool sensation throughout his palm. "Cola, huh? Isn't that pretty basic?"
"Yeah, but you like basic stuff. You order it every time we go out. Quit complaining."
Itadori doesn't argue any further. Instead, he begins to rock back and forth in his spot, hesitating for just a moment before speaking up. "Do you want to go sit?"
Megumi nods. He was being weird today, wasn't he? Weirder than usual, at least. Itadori was always weird. Sometimes Megumi had no clue what went through his head.
He wishes that he did though, as the two of them walk in silence. It doesn't take long to find a nice, shaded spot with all the foliage around campus. They settle against a large tree, rough bark scratching against their uniforms as they lean against it.
Itadori shuts his eyes for a moment, resting his head against the wood. He lets out a trembling sigh, and even despite his wornness, Megumi can't help but think he looks beautiful. The light filtering through the leaves catches his face just right, softening his features— even more so than usual, reality settles in and he looks like the young boy he is.
Despite the doomed nature of his life, Itadori still works hard every day to grow stronger. He doesn't resent the people around him for bringing him into this. He doesn't resent Megumi for introducing him to the world of curses. He doesn't resent Megumi for deciding to save him. Not even Gojo for ultimately heeding his selfish request. He thinks that Itadori has every right to hate him. But he doesn't. He goes about every day and smiles at him, even after having spent the better part of the day training until he could hardly move his body. Itadori is selfless. Megumi is not.
"You alright?"
Itadori cracks an eye open, bringing himself to lazily nod. "Yeah. Just tired."
Megumi nudges him with his thigh. A little smile forms on his face as the boy opens his mouth and bosses him around. "Drink up. It'll help you feel better."
"Open it up for me, Fushiguro."
"Can't you do it yourself?"
"I'm tired!"
Megumi only sighs and reaches for the can. He cracks it open and slips it back into Itadori's waiting palm, holding back from scolding him for his laziness. He knew better than to reprimand him when it was his fault Itadori was so exhausted in the first place. If it weren't for him, Itadori might still be living a normal life in the countryside, with normal friends, normal hobbies, and a normal career.
"Itadori." Megumi finally speaks up. "Do you like being a sorcerer?"
Itadori lets out a long, dramatic groan.
"Fushiguro!" He whines, his voice dropping into a weary cadence that only seemed to come out whenever they hit this topic. "Are you still on this?"
"Just answer the question."
"Fine." He turns his head just enough to catch Megumi’s eye, his gaze steady. "I've told you a million times, I like it. I like getting to save people. I like getting to use my strength and do something with my life. I even got to meet some super awesome people, like Gojo, and you!"
Megumi at least feels the relief that he's up there with the man Itadori idolizes so much. Regardless, it doesn't change the fact that any other life would have been far better than this one.
"Come on." Itadori can only sigh at his silence. His friend was hard to understand, but that would never stop him from trying. "It was my choice to eat the finger. I played as much of a role in this as you did."
"Itadori-"
Megumi wants to snap back, to find some way to twist the blame back onto his own shoulders, but the words die in his throat. He knows Itadori isn't the type to lie for the sake of him, but he can't wrap his head around the possibility of forgiveness, or the plain fact that Itadori had never held it against him in the first place.
"We're in this together, okay?" Itadori cracks a small smile. He looks at him with such fondness that it almost hurts. It would be easier if there was resentment there, something Megumi could understand. "It's me and you. So just let it go, would you?"
There it was. Itadori had acknowledged that whatever it was between them was special. Something that bonded them together and left them unable to leave each other's sides. If he wasn't so afraid, maybe he'd call it love.
"Yeah." Megumi's voice is hoarse. He thinks about how easy it would be to let his hand slip from his own lap and rest against Itadori's. Just a few inches. He wanted to feel the warmth of his skin, probably too hot for a day like this. "I'll let it go."
"Good." Itadori's eyes crinkle at the corners, and he finally turns away for another sip of his drink. "I don't regret it, so neither should you."
Megumi logically knows that nothing good could ever come from the feelings blooming in his chest. But looking at Itadori, sweet, unwavering Itadori, he decides he doesn't care. He'll let himself selfishly wish, just this once. He knows he's weak. He's never claimed otherwise.
He'd like to see other people try to avoid the all-consuming force that Itadori is. Surely, they'd find it just as impossible.