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Coustas is oddly quiet as they lean over him, their fingertips pressing gently into the scarred skin around his hips, like they’ve done a dozen times before. The air feels tense, in an odd way even the witch could sense, and they keep glancing at Coustas in hopes he'd give something away. He doesn't.
He finally speaks after they have moved down to the scar over the back of his right thigh, the one they said had torn through a thick muscle that needed special attention.
"Who was that boy who came to visit, yesterday?" His voice is quiet, controlled. They pause in their touching, sitting up to look at Coustas. He doesn't meet their gaze- doesn't even turn their way.
"Hm..?" They hesitate, thinking for a moment before they realize. "Ah- are you talking about Eunie? The black haired boy?" Coustas' head dips in a nod, and they smile fondly. "He's a witch apprentice I helped a little while ago!" The affection in their tone makes something shrivel in Coustas' stomach, and his lips twitch into an uncomfortable frown. But since they can't see his face, they don’t notice his expression.
"He's such a little sweetheart- I made a small mistake with him while working with his group while they were taking a test, and ended up scaring the living daylights outta him! In return, he ended up latching onto me pretty firmly when he was spooked, and I carried him around for a bit. I think he like.. imprinted on me, like a duckling," They chuckle, "I don’t really know why he's so fond of me, but hes such a little cutie I couldn't resist. He's pretty soft, personality wise, and very shy. And a bit sad- his mentor was an absolute bitch. I think Eunie ended up clinging to me so hard because I was the first one to be nice to him in like, years." Their tone gets a little mellow at the end of their sentence as they think back to how nervous and scared he is all the time, even still. "Either way, he's an apprentice I’m fond of, and he’s very fond of me. He likes it when I hold him, so I end up being very affectionate with him is all- he doesn’t seem to mind it, so I don’t really think about it." They glance at Coustas once more, leaning over towards his head.
"Whyyy do you ask~?" They drawl playfully, but stops as they notice the stiffness in his form. ".. Coustas? What's wrong?" Their light mood drops, concern growing in their chest like vines. Coustas grimaces briefly, before looking at them with a narrow gaze, his eyes shaded under the fringe of his hair.
"Why.. why do you treat me so differently than him?"
The question takes them so genuinely off guard they just stare blankly at him for a moment, blinking slowly.
".. what?" Coustas' cheeks darken and he whips his face to the side, flushing furiously as his shoulders rise to his ears.
"N-nevermind!" He barks out roughly, flustered and horrified at how hot his eyes feel. They scramble for a moment-
"No no- Coustas I’m- I’m not upset at you asking or anything! I’m just confused! I-I didn’t realize that was something that bothered you! Can you please just- just explain the question a little more? Please?" Coustas doesn't respond, embarrassment writhing inside his ribcage. His healer's face crumples a little, guilt warring with worry. "Coustas, please? I-I want to answer your question, I’d just, love it if you could just.. uhm.. tell me a bit more? About what you're feeling? I-I’m not tryna baby you, I just wanna know what you meant... please?"
That last 'please' makes Coustas' head slump a little.
"... I just meant.." He starts, then stumbles, then pauses. They stay quiet, and meet his gaze with concern when he finally turns to look at them. He doesn't speak for another minute before starting again. "You.. seem really.. sweet with him, is all." He mumbles, and they gaze at him, a little lost. They stay quiet, silently urging him to continue, and Coustas does, reluctantly. "Like.. he's my age, isn't he?" His healer nods hesitantly, responding quietly,
"He's a year or two younger, I believe, but yeah, basically." Coustas' jaw tightens.
"Whatever. He's my age. So- so why d'you treat me differently?" They tilts their head, but Coustas doesn't stop talking. "You- you have this, like, tone you use with me, like you're just some doctor and I’m just your patient, and nothing else. This.. this formal tone. You were cooing all over that kid like he was some- some baby, but you're so much more tense with me. I just wanna know why," He spits, his heart pounding unsteadily in his chest as he finishes his small rant.
They stare at him, their gaze conflicted, but no longer confused. Their voice is soft as they start to speak, a little hesitant.
“.. I thought-” They murmur, before they abruptly stop. Coustas glances at them, and sees a look of realization on their face, that quickly settles into something softly regretful.
“.. Ah. I think.. I made a mistake,” They rasp, their tone delicate. Coustas glares at them, and they continues with a wince. “I.. Coustas, I’m sorry. I- I think I assumed some things about you, and.. didn’t consider some obvious factors, like your age. I.. I thought that you’d prefer to be treated more maturely- I thought you wouldn’t like it if I babied you or anything like that, because of how you’ve been raised. But..” They hesitate before continuing, meeting the young boy’s dark gaze. “I see that was wrong. I shouldn’t have assumed that of you, Coustas. I’m sorry,” They say quietly, before dipping their head in a small bow.
The boy grimaces at the move, his nose wrinkling with a small snarl at the formality, before they snap their head up, interrupting his train of thought with a firm look in their eyes.
“This! Isn’t me being formal! This is how I apologize to everyone, to be clear!” They declare, their brows furrowed in a determined sort of way. “I like bowing when I apologize, I feel like it emphasizes it to show I really mean it!” They stare hard at Coustas until he looks away, grumbling a little “fine” under his breath.
“Coustas, I’m… I’m not the best at figuring out what people want,” They start, and their tone is heavier, weighed down by past regrets. Coustas’ eyes trail back over to them, reluctant but interested at their darker tone. “I’m better with obvious, upfront statements, than more subtle ones. That’s not an excuse!” They rush out, “I’m- I’m just saying.. Coustas, would you do me a big favor?” They look at him pleadingly, and Coustas is taken aback by the puppy-dog-like eyes.
“.. what is it?” He responds stonily, his gaze stubbornly grumpy. The young witch cracks a small, relieved smile.
“Could you just.. tell me what you want, in the future? Without any kind of shame or shyness? Even if you think it’s something dumb, or childish- if you want me to do something for you, like hug you or- or cover you in my cloak,” They reach forward, gently grabbing his hand nearest to them in a warm grip, and his eyes reluctantly prickle once more. “I’ll do it, okay? I just want to know when you want me to do something. I’m bad at figuring these things out on my own, so I kinda need you to tell me, okay? Can you be brave for me, and do that?”
That last sentence.. catches him off guard. That phrasing.. it feels inherently childish. Something an adult says to a toddler learning something new. ‘Be brave for me’. He’s seen people say it before, usually a mother kneeling in front of her doe eyed child. An older sister in front of a younger sibling. A phrase that tugs at the child’s heartstrings just right.
Coustas’ very soul aches. Had he ever been young enough to have that said to him? Had there ever been a time where someone could’ve knelt in front of him, held his hands gently, and asked him to be brave for them?
It’s dark, he realizes suddenly, as feeling comes creeping back into his senses. No, it’s- his breath stutters as they hold him firmly in a hug, one hand supporting his lower back while another cradles his head in a move so soft he briefly thinks he’s 7 years old again, being held by Dagda for the first time. But no- he’s 13, held securely in the arms of the person who avoids the local witches to get into his room, greeting him warmly each time, asking his permission for everything, the one who looks at him with sadness but not pity. Concern but not judgment. Who doesn’t hesitate to touch him, unless he looks uncomfortable.
They murmur soft, soothing words to the boy in their arms, slowly running their fingers through his feathery hair, holding him carefully enough as to not put any harmful pressure on his back- but firm enough to share their warmth with him. After Coustas shifts in their grip, they tilt their head, looking at his face from the corner of their eyes.
“Coustas?” They murmur, their voice soft- soft like when they were talking to Eunie. Soft like they were talking to a child. Somehow, some way, Coustas found he didn’t quite mind that tone. Not when it comes from them. He grunts quietly in response, and they huff in amusement. “Hey bud,” They coo, “Ya back with me?” He makes another small noise, turning his face back into their shoulder, and they chuckle. “That’s alright, Cous. You did a really good job talking with me earlier, you don’t need to talk anymore if you don’t want to.” They shift back, adjusting Coustas so that he settles on their lap, and he wraps his arms around their shoulders for stability.
They sigh quietly, leaning into the embrace themself, making it feel more like an equal hug.
“I really am sorry for making you feel bad like that, bud,” They murmur, their tone soft and almost mournful. “I guess I just.. thought you’d appreciate a different attitude than Eunie would. I treat him like that cause he’s soft, y’know? But.. I guess I forgot you’re pretty soft too, huh? Like a lil birdy,” They playfully ruffle his hair until he squeaks out a little giggle, leaning away from them with a small smile.
“Mm.. ‘s fine,” He sighs, leaning back dramatically, draping himself over their hands that hold his lower back firmly in place. The witch smiles at his antics, though their expression is shadowed by regret. The fact that they hadn’t treated the two boys equally irked them, even if it had been an accident. They had put a lot of effort into Coustas and trying to alter his fate, the same as they had with Eunie- it was completely unreasonable of them to play favorites like that.
“Here,” They start, gently pulling him back up so he’s looking at them once more. He meets her gaze with a playful pout, his bottom lip jutting out enough that they have to resist giving it a light pinch. “Lemme make it up to you. For the whooole rest of the day, I’m under your command. Tell me to do anything you want, and I’ll do it. Unless it’s illegal or interacting with other grown witches,” They add quickly at the end, making Coustas chuff with amusement.
“Isn’t healing me already illegal?”
“I meant illegal in normal people society, not witch society,” They drawl, their gaze flattening. “Fuck witch laws.” The boy giggles at their use of profanity, but nods along, even if he doesn’t completely understand the context.
His gaze turns contemplative as he thinks about what to ask of his doctor. He thinks long enough that he ends up draped over their hands again, and there’s a brief game of ‘Coustas turns into a weasel and tries to slither out of their hands while they try to keep their grip on him’. They win, of course. They’re really good at this game.
“Carry me!” He shouts, abruptly clambering up onto them, acting like he’s trying to climb a tree rather than a person. “All day! You gotta take me everywhere you go for the rest of the day, and you’re not allowed to put me down unless I say so!” The cloaked witch keeps their hands on him, making sure he doesn’t fall, and chuckles.
“Cous, if I’m carrying you places, then I’m not gonna be going very far,” They start, and Coustas makes a noise of protest before they stand, making him wobble and squeak. “Buutt, I’ll do my best, alright? Remember, I cant interact too much with witches out on the street, so we may have to sneak around a little if we leave the hospital area.”
“Oh no,” The young minstrel drawls, sarcasm dripping from his voice like honey, “Sneaking, my least favorite activity.” They nod mock seriously as they handle him so that he sits on the crook of their arm, holding him securely against their left side, his head above theirs and his chest level with their face. He leans over them, draping himself comfortably over his new ride- it’s been a while since he’s been carried by someone he actually likes like this. In a way that’s not just because of his injury, but for fun.
“How terrible,” They agree solemnly, “We’ll have to traverse through the shadows and even possibly across rooftops.” Coustas’ eyes shine at the thought. “How awful. Maybe we shouldn’t..” They tease, leaning over his bed as if threatening to drop him. Coutas shrieks, clinging to them tightly, wrapping his arms around their head and pressing himself close.
“NO! You’re not allowed to drop me!!” He yowls, grinning wide as they wobble, unable to see now since he shifted more in front of them when he grabbed them. They say something muffled into Coustas’ clothes, and he huffs, gripping their head tighter. “Don’t drop me,” He says firmly, before leaning back a little. They breathe in deeply, gasping a little dramatically.
“Haahh.. I almost suffocated, Cous,” They complain lightly, but dutifully doesn’t let him go. “Alright, let’s head out then, yeah? It’s a sunny day, d’you wanna go anywhere?” They start toward the door, making sure to keep holding Coustas securely so that his legs don’t jostle too much. The boy hums in contemplation, watching them open the door and ducking a little as they pass through it.
“Mmm.. let’s go see Dagda!” Coustas crows, and they smile warmly at the mention of the man. Coustas eyes the smile with keen eyes- he wasn’t blind, and certainly wasn’t stupid. Their gaze had a tendency to linger on his mentor, and their face was always left a little reddened after Dagda’s friendly, casual touches. He’d listened to enough of Dagda’s more romantic tales to know what was going on. The only reason Dagdah didn’t see it was probably because he was so busy working.
“Let’s go see Dagda, then,” They echo, their voice softened by affection- a different kind than when they were talking to Coustas. He hums quietly, settling more comfortably in their hold as they move away from his room. His earlier excitement lingered, but he calmed down fairly quickly. He felt.. at peace, almost.
Feels like I’m with Dagda, Coustas thinks as they carry him.
Feels like home.