Chapter Text
3rd year of high school is starting today and Anxin is so happy that he gets to see his friends every day from now till June.
In his class, lots of his classmates failed their classes and had to repeat the grade so this year, there will be some new people joining them.
"Do you think that there will be more girls or boys this year?" Arno asked, "I heard that we will have 4 new classmates and they are 2 girls and 2 boys!" Xinlong said, "C'mon guys, let's go now, the bell has just rung so we can't be late on the first day" Anxin said.
Anxin and his friends got to their first class which was computer science.
"Are we being for real? Computer science for the first period of the first day of school? Man, that's insane" Leo complained, as usual, "Welcome back my dear students! Have you had a good summer holiday?" their professor asked.
As Anxin entered the lab he spotted 4 new faces, "Long-ge, aren't they the 4 students you told us about this morning?" the boy said to Xinlong, "oh yes, that's them!"
"As some of you may have seen, this year you will have 4 new classmates, Sanghyeon, Geonwoo, Junseo and Sangwon".
As soon as the professor introduced the new classmates, Anxin's attention drifted to the last one, Sangwon.
The boy had beautiful blonde hair that fell on his forehead just right without giving him any trouble, his eyes were small but hypnotizing at the same time, he had a soft smile on his lips and he was wearing the school uniform which looked so good on him.
"Yo man, have you already fallen in love with our new classmate?" Leo said with a teasing tone, "no, of course not" Anxin responded sounding almost nervous, "Remember Anxin: school is a place to study not to fall in love with your classmates" Leo told him.
Unfortunately he knew well what he was talking about, it wouldn't be the first time that he fell in love with a classmate.
During middle school, he fell in love with one of his classmates, at first it wasn't anything serious but as time passed, his feelings started to become deeper and he tried everything to make his crush know about how he felt for him.
Anxin would always stick around to him, he would share his snacks with him, he would always try to help him with homeworks, he downloaded his favorite video game so they would play together, he would call him every afternoon even from his mom's phone because he didn't have one and many other things that mattered a lot to him.
Anxin talked a lot about his crush to his friends that every hangout would look like a podcast about Anxin's love life, they were happy to see him so smiley every time he got a little interaction with his lover.
Every small action mattered to him, a smile, a hug, a lovely nickname and sweet words were a sign that he might have a chance with his crush.
Everything was perfect until one day one of his trusted friends decided to tell his crush about Anxin's feelings for him.
When he got to know it, the Chinese boy was quite excited to see how he would react and if his feelings were reciprocated by him.
That afternoon he received a call from his crush, Anxin was thrilled, he started jumping around his bedroom and he immediately picked up the call.
He expected his crush to confess his feelings to him but he received the most unexpected answer.
As soon as he picked up the call, some of his classmates and his crush began to make fun of him, Anxin went still, he couldn't believe his ears, this wasn't how it was supposed to go.
"You really thought you could be my boyfriend? Oh please, you will never be enough to be my boyfriend, you are nothing special and no one will ever want to be your boyfriend" his crush said, in the background he listened to his classmates laughing at him.
Anxin was desperate, he didn't know what to do, a panic attack began and he couldn't stop crying that he almost suffocated, now everyone was making fun of him and he had become the new joke of the class.
The embarrassment was too much that he didn't even tell his close friends, he was ashamed of himself and couldn't look in the mirror without being disgusted by himself.
From that day on, he spent 3 years of middle school being bullied and made fun of by his now ex-crush and his classmates.
He would come back home and start punching himself on the stomach to punish himself, he only felt hate for himself and even his friends couldn't make him stop.
Everyday was the same, school, home and punishing himself.
Since that day, he didn't dare to love anyone else because he was too afraid that something like in the past would happen.
He was afraid to love anyone.
When the new students finished introducing themselves, the professor assigned them to their seats.
Fate was by Anxin's side because Sangwon got to sit between him and Arno.
At first he smiled at his new classmate and introduced himself "Hello, my name is Anxin! Nice to meet you" "And my name is Arno! Welcome to our class Sangwon!" Arno followed.
During the lesson the two friends weren't focused so they started talking about random stuff, meanwhile Sangwon was searching on the net what the professor was explaining.
"It's only the first day and I can't do it anymore, please take me home" Anxin complained to his friend "good for you we have 9 months till the next summer break my dear best friend" Arno sighed, "What if we escape from school? What if we come back to China and don't go to school anymore? What if...".
At that moment Anxin stopped mid sentence, he heard something, it was someone laughing, he looked at Arno but it wasn't him but when he turned to his desk mate he found Sangwon laughing at what he was saying.
The Chinese boy turned red from embarrassment and from being the reason for Sangwon's laugh, his laugh was so soft and his smile felt so delicate that even his ears were red now.
He didn't know why he was reacting like that but it was definitely worth it.
Now every computer science class he would joke with Arno just to hear that sweet laugh coming from Sangwon.
He tried his best to also start a conversation with him or ask some opinions about what he and Arno were talking about.
"Sorry Sangwon, but you have the worst desk mates by your side" the older boy said, Sangwon turned to him and responded "don't worry I don't mind at all, plus you seem so funny!".
Only that sentence made Anxin's heart do a little flip, but what does it mean?
Was he falling in love with his classmate again?
When the school day ended he went straight home and ate lunch with his mom.
"Hey anxinie! How was your first day?" His mom asked, "everything was alright, we have 4 new classmates and they are all boys" Anxin replied.
He never told his mom about the bullying from middle school but she eventually figured it out after watching him come back home all sad and hurt.
"Make sure to take care of yourself, okay?" She was genuinely worried about her son, high school is different from middle school but bullying can happen everywhere so she would do her best to protect Anxin.
"Yes mom, don't worry!" The boy assured his mom and went straight to hug her.
His mom was always there for him, even when everything was falling apart, she would always be there for him and to cheer him up.
He didn't know what he would do without her but with his mom by his side everything will be much easier.
"I'm going to my room to fix some things for tomorrow's lessons!" Anxin said, his mom kissed him on the cheek and let him go from her arms.
She was so proud of him and how well he grew up, it was such a relief to see how amazing and caring her child was and that's why high school scared her a little, but Anxin is more mature and strong now so she wouldn't need to worry as much as before about him.
Anxin went upstairs and sat on his bed, he replayed in his mind what happened during the day and smiled while thinking about Sangwon's reaction to his silly jokes.
Now every Tuesday and Wednesday will be blessed by Sangwon's laugh at Anxin's jokes during their computer science classes.
Suddenly he snapped back to reality and thought: Am I really falling in love with a classmate again?