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Surrounded on all sides by ashen cement walls that didn’t hold even a flicker of life. The only notable structures were iron pipes stacked like mountains. The incessant noise from the vents only served to make the already hollow space feel more desolate.
It felt too real to be a dream. Yet, it felt too alien to be reality, a sense of dissonance creeping through their entire body.
The dreamer, who had turned their back on the world to flee into this dream, was huddled helplessly inside one of those pipes, barely managing to suppress the suffocating dread.
It certainly hadn’t been like this from the start. Not when they first arrived in this dream, not in the very first dream they saw, not when they first started make a living on their own...
No, there would be no end to those thoughts. They stopped retracing the past and poked their head out to look at the exterior. As expected, the nightmare that had forced them into this pipe was still out there in the clearing.
Its face, obscured by a question mark, brought back the recent encounter that seemed already seared into their mind as a trauma.
---
"This place... looks like a classroom. The other spots looked like construction sites or hallways."
Eugene looked a bit more composed than when they first arrived. This place still didn't feel comfortable at all, but by instinctively avoiding the ominous black smoke, it just felt like a somewhat empty and gloomy space.
"There’s writing on the hallway walls... who wrote this?"
Several short sentences were written on the walls. Most were too cryptic to understand, while the rest were covered in a single phrase: 'If You Panic, I Take Over.'
"Why are these letters... oh?"
As they muttered to themselves and turned around, they finally noticed another presence in this dream besides themselves.
The body was rough like stone, and the face was either artificially hidden or blurred, showing only a single question mark—a being that seemed neither human nor monster. It appeared to be about the same height as them.
As if looking into a mirror, the entity stood on the other side of the classroom window and mimicked Eugene's every move and gaze.
"This, uh... person?... I saw them walking far off in the distance at the Cloud Theater earlier. Maybe they aren't dangerous? In that ca—"
As if mocking that brief moment of relief, the moment they tried to head toward the end of the hallway next to the classroom, it suddenly rushed forward at high speed and pounced on Eugene.
"...!!!"
"Join me in heaven."
"You know my face."
"Joinmeinheavenjoinmeinheavenjoinmeinheavenjoinmeinheaven—"
Eugene felt their vision blur white from the sudden shock. It was a level of terror they had never experienced in previous dreams.
"...Ha, huff... What, what was that just now...?"
Perhaps they had lost consciousness for a moment, but before they knew it, they were back at the very spot where they had first arrived in this dream.
However, one thing was different from the beginning. That monster that had just pounced on them had started following them.
It was slower than them. At least, that was the case as long as they managed to calm their pounding heart and walk. But the moment they couldn't overcome the fear rising to their throat and started to run, it moved faster than Eugene.
Eugene instinctively realized that to escape this dream, they had to go inside that building. They summoned their courage and stepped forward slowly, trying not to panic or run.
But the monster followed them continuously inside the building. It would vanish when the distance grew, only to approach again from a side passage out of their line of sight.
Several attempts ended in failure as they eventually lost their composure at the final moment.
That was the reason they were currently curled up and hiding inside this pipe. Strangely enough, the monster couldn't find them once they were inside the pipe.
"...What am I supposed to do now..? I don't have the courage... to go back out there."
Eugene let out a heavy, bone-weary sigh. They couldn't stay here forever. But that nightmare out there was evaporating even the last drops of their willpower.
"..."
"A way... I don't think there's any other way... *Sigh*..."
Eugene felt a dizzying sensation, as if they were standing on the edge of a cliff. A sheep being led to the slaughter must feel exactly like this.
Eventually, they poked their head out of the pipe. Fortunately, the monster didn't seem to have spotted them yet. Eugene stepped all the way out of the pipe.
"...!"
It was staring straight at Eugene. As if it had been waiting for them, it began to approach with that characteristic, limp-strided gait.
"Ah... No, stay back...!"
Their resolve, weak to begin with, didn't last even a minute. Eugene practically threw themselves back into the pipe. Normally, if they just waited like this, the nightmare would fail to find them and vanish.
That's how it was supposed to go.
"Uh... This... Th-this isn't right..."
The monster didn't disappear. It stood right in front of the pipe's entrance. Unable to enter, it remained still, but Eugene was now caught between a rock and a hard place.
"I am not a stranger."
"Do not go."
It spoke in a mutter. The monster's tone was dry and flat, as if completely drained of emotion.
"Why... Why do you keep chasing me..? Why do you keep tormenting me? Ever since that first dream... you've been following me. Haven't you?"
"I have no intention of harming you. There is simply something you need to know."
"Come out from there."
It reached a hand toward the entrance of the pipe. Perhaps that hand could have been interpreted as an invitation to come out, but to Eugene, it just looked like an attempt to grab them and drag them out of their hiding spot.
"No, I-I won't...! How can I trust you and do what you say...!! I'm... I'm scared of you. This dream, your very existence... everything... it's terrifying."
"Listen to me."
The conversation felt like two parallel lines. Neither side seemed to have any intention of listening to the other.
"You must not continue to act this way."
"Stop trying to find happiness within a dream."
"...No. I don't want advice like that from a nightmare like you... I just, I just want to get away from this reality."
There was a certain desperation in Eugene's voice. To them, reality had become nothing but a tedious, painful place.
"We know each other. We know where each of us is, and we can hear one another's words from anywhere."
"I know why you made this choice."
"It’s because you were sick of yourself, even more so than the reality you were facing."
"..."
Eugene fell silent.
What it said was the truth. It felt like a sharp sting in their chest, as if they’d been hit where it hurts most. But the emotion Eugene was starting to feel now wasn’t just shame or depression. It was a deep-seated resentment. They felt a surge of inexplicable indignation welling up inside.
"So you ran away into a dream. Because you wouldn't have to feel those things there."
"But that isn't a solution."
"Stop it..."
Eugene wanted to cover their ears. They didn't want to hear this kind of talk from a monster.
"I’ll help you."
"Come out from in there."
"There is simply something you need to know. You don't need to be afrai—"
"I SAID NO!"
The emotions that had been building up inside Eugene finally exploded. They were sick of all of it. Perhaps the momentary rage had even overcome their fear, because Eugene shoved the thing away with all their might. Without even realizing it, they had suddenly lunged out from inside the pipe.
"I don't want to hear life advice like that from a nightmare like you! WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT ME TO DO?! Live like some tacky youth essay, just sucking it up and enduring the pain? It’s easy to just say the words!"
"I know I’m living at rock bottom without a single achievement to my name!... Does that mean someone like me isn't even allowed to wish for happiness? It’s not like I was asking for anything huge...!"
"I just... I just wanted to escape this reality... I don't even have the confidence to keep living anymore..."
The anger cooled as quickly as it had boiled over. In its place, only a sense of bitter sorrow and depression remained. Eugene sat curled up on the bare floor. Before they knew it, tears were streaming down their face.
"Sniff... I just, I... uh, ah... gasp...?!"
"Oh, no, this is just... I did it without thinking... D-don't be angry..."
As their emotions settled slightly, the reason they had momentarily cast aside returned. And they realized the fact that they had just, thud, shoved the monster far away. They were terrified that the nightmare would now retaliate.
"I-I'm sorry... I'm so sorry... I didn't mean to... I mean..."
"..."
"Huh...?"
However, it didn't get angry at Eugene or start chasing them. It just stayed there, exactly as it was after being pushed over backward. Somehow... it looked as if it were lost in thought.
"..."
"I'm sorry."
What the nightmare said after a brief silence was something Eugene never expected to hear.
"Wha... what? Say... say that one more time."
"I'm sorry."
"I really didn't mean to cause you any pain."
"..."
They felt a bit indignant. Eugene had expressed their suffering to it quite a lot. It was almost absurd how it acted as if it hadn't heard any of the rejections they had repeated until their voice was hoarse.
"I told you I hated it... but you just kept coming after me anyway. Why... why did you do that?"
"Because I felt like if I didn't approach you now, you would just keep running away forever."
"..."
"There are things you really need to know."
"I was trying to tell you those things."
"It seems my intentions were misunderstood."
The monster carefully stood up from where it had fallen. Instead of persistently following Eugene like before, it spoke while keeping its distance.
"Who's going to be convinced when you act like that... right at the start, you suddenly rushed me and knocked me down. That's why I kept waking up in that first place over and over..."
"It wasn't intentional."
"It's not like I beat you down."
"....."
"I'm sorry."
"...Let's just stop talking about this."
They felt like there wouldn't be much progress even if they kept talking about the same thing. In all likelihood, it was clearly just going to keep saying it wasn't on purpose.
"So... what is it that I need to know? I just... I just want to stay happy in my dreams."
"Remember my face."
"If you can remember my face, it means you've realized everything else you need to know."
"You must do that to find the happiness you truly desire."
Its words felt abstract. Without really hitting home, it felt like solving a vague riddle.
"...I'm not quite sure, but... I see. Come to think of it, that’s what you’ve been saying all along."
"But I have one more question. Why are you... worried about me? I thought you were just... one of the nightmares."
"..."
"Fleeing into dreams forever doesn't mean you'll find paradise there."
"Huh..?"
Eugene felt that it wasn't giving a direct answer, but rather talking at cross-purposes. They couldn't understand why it was acting that way.
"...Right.. so you want me to recognize your face, and... things turned out like this because that intention didn't come across properly... is that it?"
"...Well, I get it.. although I still have many questions..."
They looked around. Apparently, there was something else left to do.
"For now, it doesn't seem like staying here will solve the things you mentioned. Just like in the other dreams... I think I need to figure something out here too."
"So... I need to go back and check the places I missed. I'll go by myself for a bit..."
As they spoke and looked back, the nightmare somehow seemed to look regretful. It looked as if it were forcing itself to let go of someone it didn't want to part with.
"..."
"....."
"...If you want, come with me. But... don't suddenly pop out from a corner like before.."
"Thank you."
Eugene felt a lukewarm, conflicted emotion at the sight of the entity—whose expression was hidden behind a question mark—looking visibly pleased. This was especially so because, until just a moment ago, they had considered it a horrific monster devoid of any human emotion.
While Eugene stood still for a moment, the entity began to walk slowly. Instead of following them, it headed in a different direction as if it were trying to show the way.
"Ah... wait for me..."
Eugene didn't dare run, so they walked at a brisk pace. Fortunately, the entity was slower than Eugene. A factor that had triggered their anxiety earlier was now something they felt slightly grateful for.
And so, Eugene and the entity walked along a path they hadn't taken before. A place that was initially inaccessible due to black smoke was now clear, with a ventilation fan spinning. The place they eventually reached was...
There was a coin box requiring 12 coins, and beyond it, a fire exit blocked off by barriers and caution tape. This seemed to be the puzzle they had to solve in this dream.
"Is this what you wanted to show me..? ...Well, thanks.."
The entity gave a small nod.
"So now I have to go back to those places I visited a few times and collect coins.. Um. I see.."
It nodded once more.
"Alright. This time... it should be fine. Let's look for them together.. Since we've cleared up the misunderstanding to some extent now..."
In truth, they wanted to go alone even more. However, leaving that monster out of their sight felt somehow more terrifying than having it stay quietly by their side.
Eugene stepped out first and began to walk. Daydreams they used to have often in the past failed to come to mind now.
"...Hey, uh?"
When they suddenly looked back, what should have been beside them was gone.
"Where, where did you go..? Oh, ah...."
Turning around in a panic, they realized they had momentarily forgotten that the entity was significantly slower than them when they walked. It was trudging along from far away.
"...."
"I forgot already... I didn't realize the difference would be this big."
Hiding their awkwardness, Eugene approached the entity, which was still walking toward them with all its might.
"....Actually, part of me wants to go alone. But.. I'm scared for a lot of reasons..."
"So if it's okay, uh..."
There was a long hesitation before saying this. Doubts seemed to crawl out, making them wonder if this was really the right thing to do.
".....I'll hold your hand. Th-this way, you won't get left behind."
The real reason for the fear was the worry that arose from leaving the entity alone, and the frustration of having to wait.
Without a word, it reached out its hand. Eugene took its hand as carefully as if they were moving an explosive. Surprisingly, the entity's hand was warm.
"...Now, let's go."
The two of them stepped back into the dismal hallway. Unlike before, the inside of the building didn't feel quite so terrifying. The biggest reason was likely that the factor causing them the most fear had been resolved to some extent.
Eugene looked around the corner they had passed by earlier. Something was shimmering on the floor of the maze-like corridor.
"Oh, this is..."
"This must be the coin we're looking for... It was just lying around nearby like this. Why couldn't I find it until now?.."
Without letting go of the hand they were holding, Eugene leaned down and picked up the coin. There were a couple more coins nearby.
"That makes.... three. We've found about a quarter of them..."
"Then I guess... it means we have to go back further inside."
After tucking the coins they found into their hoodie pocket, they ventured deeper and deeper.
As they walked at a steady pace, glancing around, the entity spoke up first.
"It reminds me of going to see the ocean when I was young."
"Hm? The ocean...? I used to do that too..."
"Back then, I imagined flying over that endless horizon."
"Oh... I did the same. I thought if I could fly along the line where the sea meets the sky, I’d be truly free..."
"At some point, I stopped having those thoughts altogether.... How did it come to this? I certainly wasn't like this before..."
"....Wait, anyway, how do you have memories like that..? You're a being from a dream.."
"We know each other. What you see, I see too, and what you hear, I hear too."
".....I see.."
Picking up a couple more coins that had been lying on the path they’d walked, Eugene asked,
"Now that I think about it, what exactly is this 'paradise' you’re talking about? I... I’m still not sure what’s really on your mind."
The entity paused as if contemplating for a moment. It seemed to be choosing the right words for an explanation.
"A dream that you can create yourself."
"And a dream you can stop and resume whenever you want."
"Let’s be there together."
The entity answered Eugene’s question with surprising honesty and composure. Contrary to expectations—at least based on how they felt about it before their perception shifted—the paradise it spoke of wasn't one-sided. Rather, its version of paradise seemed to be for their sake.
"Come to think of it... I guess I haven't been able to control my dreams the way I wanted until now."
"Is it because... I lost my imagination at some point?"
"And... well, I don't know if I should say this, but... I'm surprised. Usually, when people talk about 'paradise' like that... it's some weirdo obsessed with a twisted meaning."
The entity didn't give much of a response to what Eugene said. It simply wrapped its hand a little tighter around the one it was holding. Eugene didn't try to force any more conversation where none came to mind. Turning back from the dead-end hallway, they walked on.
The hallway next to the classroom where they first met. Unlike before, when it was a dead end, the layout seemed to have changed slightly, and the path ahead was now open.
Passing by a desolate-looking classroom that seemed to have no coins in sight, they stepped further into the newly formed corridor. As if waiting for them, a few more coins lay scattered nearby.
"One, two... I guess there are several around here at once. The computers at Cloud Theater were spread all over the building..."
As Eugene muttered while picking up the coins, the entity spoke up in a low voice.
"Do you really want to stay inside a dream forever?"
"Abandoning everything?"
"Uh... huh? Well... for now... I did take the pills with that intention... I didn't have anything left to lose anyway."
Eugene seemed quite surprised. They hadn't expected the entity to ask them a question first.
"I-I mean, I didn't know you could ask things like that. That’s really unexpect—"
"Even to the point of throwing away your life?"
".....Huh?"
The follow-up question was even more unexpected.
"My life... my life? No, I... it’s true I was sick of reality, but... it's not like I wanted to die."
"But... just having a dream isn't a life-threatening act, is it...? Is there some other problem?"
"Did you read the instructions for the drug?"
"The instructions...? Uh, no... there weren't even any included in the first place..."
"..."
The entity placed its other hand on Eugene's shoulder. No words were spoken, but the sensation conveyed by that weight was more than just simple pity.
"If you manage to return to reality, make sure you go to a hospital first."
"You must."
"....But, to do that..."
"DO IT."
"....Alright."
Eugene felt bewildered. This was the first time since their 'reconciliation' earlier that the entity had shown such a firm attitude. However, what puzzled them even more was why it cared for them so much.
While their earlier feeling had been a vague suspicion, this was now a certainty.
" ...By the way, why are you... looking out for me like this? It feels like you worry about me more than anyone I've ever known."
"..."
"The one who hates you the most is you."
"But at the same time, the only one who can love you the most is also yourself."
"We know each other."
"Uh....?"
Eugene almost dropped the coins in their hand. The implication in those words was far too clear.
Yet, at the same time, it felt alien. Even though they looked at the entity's face after hearing those words, for some reason, they didn't feel like the face beyond the question mark was their own. That part still felt hazy, as if covered in fog.
"....I feel like I've stumbled upon some sort of taboo."
The entity became quiet again. The atmosphere felt even more awkward than before. In the end, Eugene had no choice but to move on to find the remaining coins. There were four coins left to find.
Now, there was only one place left they hadn't explored. They walked toward their final destination. The scenery stretching out before them wasn't much different from the places they had already passed.
" ...You know, if I ever wake up from this dream, I want to go somewhere far away again."
Hoping to break the awkward tension left over from the earlier reveal, Eugene naturally blurted out whatever came to mind.
"To the ocean, like last time?"
"Oh, yeah... right. I guess since it's you... you hit the nail right on the head."
"Anyway, if I go, I want it to be the ocean... somewhere warm, if possible..."
"Make sure you keep that promise."
"Ah, haha... I will. Though I guess if I wake up, I'll have to go to the hospital first, like you said earlier..."
"To the... psychiatrist, and, well, a place that does full check-ups..."
The small talk that had started awkwardly ended just as awkwardly, as if following some kind of circular structure. Normally, they would have just shut their mouth and kept quiet, but somehow Eugene felt like they had to keep the conversation going no matter what.
"Oh, um.... there'd be a lot of fish in the ocean, right...? If it's a warm sea, there might even be turtles."
"..."
"Uh, I feel like seeing stuff like that underwater in person would be amazing... don't you think?"
The entity glanced at Eugene but didn't really respond. Perhaps it was looking for something else.
" ...Yeah.. I know I'm not exactly a great conversationalist.. even I didn't find it that interesting while I was saying it."
"I guess living for ten years just doing odd jobs does that to you... all that creativity must have evaporated.."
"It would've been better if I were a bit more witty..."
"It's okay."
"Really."
" ...Thanks. Still, I don't think I feel as hopeless as I used to. Talking like this... it's making me realize why I acted the way I did."
Something shiny caught their eye on the ground. Eugene thought nothing of it and picked up three fallen coins. Since this was a dead end, the count was likely correct.
"With this... I think we've found just about everything.. let's head back."
"The end is near."
"Yeah... talking about this and that while we worked made it go by faster than I thought."
They turned around. Looking back, the path they had walked felt like a winding maze. Still, with a much calmer heart than when they first entered, they began to retrace their steps.
" ... "
The way back was quiet. For some reason, Eugene felt like chatting about anything, just like before. Today was the first time in years that they had been this talkative.
" ...Hey, I just thought of something. I heard there are fish in the ocean that can fly."
"They're called flying fish."
"Oh, right. Flying fish. ...How are you smarter than me? Anyway, I suddenly had this weird imagination."
"You tie several flying fish together with a string and hold onto them while riding a motorboat. Like... a dog sled. That's how you drive the boat."
" ....Even I think it's a strange thing to imagine.. I don't know why that suddenly popped into my head.."
"Pfft."
At the sound of a small burst of laughter beside them, Eugene looked over. The entity was in a posture as if covering its mouth with one hand while laughing. It was chuckling softly.
It was something Eugene had felt every time they got to know it through conversation, but once again, they couldn't help but be quite surprised. While the entity often acted in ways that expressed emotion, Eugene hadn't really imagined that it could laugh.
And then,
"Huh...?"
Just as they naturally began to imagine the smiling face behind the question mark, for a very brief moment, it felt as though they caught a glimpse of its actual face.
That face looked like it held a version of Eugene from much older times.
" ...! "
"Did... did you feel it too?"
The entity seemed to have felt exactly the same thing as Eugene. It wasn't an illusion; it was real.
" ...How was this suddenly possible?"
" ....Ah, come to think of it.. somehow I've been having all sorts of thoughts again. Thoughts that I... hadn't been able to have for a long time."
The entity tapped Eugene on the shoulder without a word. It was a gesture that seemed to convey a sense of congratulation or relief.
" ...Maybe, if you hadn't helped me, I might have never been able to do it."
" ...Thank you."
"Let's go to our destination."
It quietly took Eugene by the arm and led them along. If it hadn't, Eugene would have likely stood there still for quite a long time.
They arrived back at the spot where the coin box had been.
" ...Alright, once I put the coins in here, it's finally over."
Eugene began taking the coins they had tucked away in their hoodie pocket and dropping them into the coin box one by one.
One, two, three....
...ten, eleven.
They were one coin short.
" ...Huh? That's weird. I searched that whole area inside... Where could the last one be..?"
Just then, the entity tapped Eugene on the shoulder. When they turned around, the last coin was sitting in the entity's hand.
" I want to ask you one last thing before I give you this."
" What do you plan on doing from now on?"
" From now on... in what sense?"
" Because it still looks to me like you're trying to keep going back into your dreams."
" ...Well, yeah. But... I'm not just running away because I want to be happy like I used to."
" It's because I want to know more about myself. There are still so many parts of me that I don't understand yet."
" I see."
" Exactly. Even though I caught a glimpse of your face earlier... I still can't fully picture it. And... I can't even change my dreams the way I want to yet."
" So... I want to get better."
" Then that's enough."
The entity handed Eugene the final coin.
With a clink, the last coin fell into the box, and the barrier vanished as if by magic.
"The path you're about to take won't be easy at all."
"It's going to be incredibly painful and terrifying."
"Are you still okay with that?"
"...Yeah. Even though having nightmares is still scary, and I know it would be much easier to just keep running away..."
"Even so... I've made up my mind."
He lightly patted Eugene on the shoulder a couple of times.
"Take care of yourself."
"Even if I'm not following you around, I'm always watching over you."
"We always know where the other is."
"Heh... So you're saying you won't be as overbearing as you were at the start. You've... changed a lot too."
He gave a small nod. Eugene stepped into the space beyond the barrier. Ahead of them was the fire exit that signaled the end.
"Oh, right. Before I go... there was something I really wanted to ask you."
Just before leaving, however, Eugene returned to where he stood in the distance.
"Given the nature of your existence, I'm sure you have a real name... but I still really wanted to know what it is."
Eugene handed him the notebook they used for their dream journal while wandering through dreams, along with a pencil. He took them without a word.
He began to write something down in crooked handwriting.
When Eugene took the notebook back to look, a few letters were written there: 'U.M'
"These are... initials. U, M... UM."
"UM, so that's... your name. I finally find out right before we say goodbye."
Eugene looked back as they walked toward the exit again.
"Well, I'm really off now. Goodbye... UM."
"Take care."
U.M silently gave a slight wave. They both instinctively felt that they would reunite at the very end of the journey.
Eugene turned the doorknob. The inside of the open door was so bright that they couldn't see what was ahead.
Eugene stepped forward alone. Toward the next journey.