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Heathcliff had been waiting in anticipation for too long. He suspected that there was something wrong with his cat, which had put on some weight and began to become overly affectionate. He was at the vet, waiting, waiting, almost thinking he felt like he was going to explode, before he was finally asked the question.
The vet, who had been tinkering around with a few medical supplies and trying to keep the bloody cat from scurrying around the room and knocking everything down annoyingly, said only that sentence, "Has your cat had contact with any male cats?", and Heathcliff froze for a moment. "No. Not that I bloody know of."
"Well, congratulations, your cat is going to have kittens." And at those words, Heathcliff vowed vengeance to his cat for that deadbeat father.
And this is why he is here. In his apartment block, interviewing his floor for any male cats. And this was the progress of his searching and surveying; not at all great. He tries to find the damn cat but most of them don't even bloody have cats. Only Khadija, Mohid [They share the same house], Gregor and Yi Sang have cats, and they're all female cats. Hong Lu has a bird, a parakeet, and Sinclair has chicks. Rodya has a rabbit, and Don Quixote has no pets [She stopped trusting pets to live after her goldfish died one day after being bought, claiming it was a "Betrayal most foul".] And now he is at the doorstep of the last person on his floor. Ishmael's doorstep. "Damn stupid deadbeat dad," Heathcliff muttered to himself.
Ding dong! A cheerful noise rung out as Heathcliff pressed his finger on the doorbell switch. "Coming," A voice called from inside, as a ginger-haired lady opened the door, the less brighter orange cat following along curiously. Her green eyes met his violet eyes, before Heathcliff then asked, "So, do you by chance have a male cat?", to which Ishmael responded with a 'yes'. Which led to this argument as follows:
"Well- Your damn cat got my cat pregnant!"
"How would you know?!"
"Don't you let your cat outside of the house?"
"YOU DO THAT AS WELL."
"I'M DAMN MINDFUL ENOUGH TO KEEP IT ON A LEASH."
"Well not mindful enough to prevent pregnancy I guess."
"I AM."
"ARE NOT."
"I SWEAR, I AM."
"Okay."
"NOT ONLY IS YOUR CAT A DEADBEAT DAD, YOU ARE A DEADBEAT GRANDMOTHER."
The bickering continues for what feels like a million years, until some other third party finally seems to come across this argument. "Hmm, what is going on here?" A calm voice asked, they could both instantly know it was Yi Sang who was asking. Heathcliff was the first to say, "ISHMAEL'S BLOODY CAT GOT MY CAT PREGNANT." to which Ishmael retorted, "Are you sure?", to which Yi sang responded, "Why not ask Ishmael to give child support, or maybe share custody?" and to which Heathcliff said, "BECAUSE- that's actually a solid idea. But Ishmael's got a barmy cat!" to which Ishmael said, "See if it is even my cat first..."
And after nine weeks, all of those cats were orange, and didn't have his own cat's black-and-white fur. So Ishmael's cat was the father! And the next day, after sending a text to Ishmael, there was a bag of cat food sitting outside, with some paper taped on it, said paper saying, in bold letters written in marker, 'CHILD SUPPORT.'
Well, that's settled then...now what does he do with these cats?
