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yoona sat nearby the river, jini couldn't tell if the woman had fallen asleep or not. still, it doesn't hurt to try to talk to her again. the first time they met, yoona was shocked— to what jini could only hope to be for the better. she's missed yoona very much, she thought the latter would feel the same. well.. her relationship with jinsol was something the woman could proudly proclaim to the world about. still, jini can't help but hope for yoona to feel something. she's stupid, really. holding onto that, and she'd only feel worse when she found out jinsol no longer…
is it right to think this in the first place then?
this is why she's here now, no? to talk to yoona, figure things out little by little, whether that be by herself or together.
"sullyoon-ssi?" jini calls out as she peeks behind a tree. by a glimpse, yoona turns her head slightly, responding with a soft hum. good, she's calmed down at least. jini doesn't say a word. she doesn't know what to. instead, she decides to take the seat beside yoona. until now, the latter only took small glances at her. how jini wishes to know what's in that head of hers.
"i..." she sighs. "i'm at war with myself." to that, jini's heart only beats faster. but guilt staggers her all the same.
"over what?"
yoona breathes out.
i should let her know.
"i promised jinsol something right before she.." yoona couldn't bring the words out. jini should know why, yet her heart refuses to acknowledge the possible feeling. an awkward silence embraces them both, ending with jini trying her best to reassure yoona. "what was it?" she asks, placing a hand on the other woman.
"jini, i..." yoona starts to sob, leaning on the former. this was the first time yoona had ever come this close to her. jini remains calm, cooing her and rubbing her with the lightest touch. this reminds her of the day she left the company, the difference being that day came with a quite a force from yoona's grip as she begged over and over for her not to leave.
jini snickers at the cumbersome thought. "what is it?"
"i've loved you.. ever since. even before you left."
jini tries her best to take a breath, though she ends up clenching her hands on the girl's clothing as she realizes what her words could possibly mean. yoona pulls away. "it was so hard for me to cope with you being gone, so.. I started dating jinsol, even if she knew my feelings for you." she sobs as she tries to wipe away her waterfall of tears with her sleeves.
jini could only stay silent as yoona talked, trying to process her racing thoughts. it's no use, really.
"wait, i don't... understand."
"when i saw her transform into those monstrous beings," yoona chokes. "jinsol told me that i could love you all i want. i promised her that!"
jini's selfishness overtakes her. "what's stopping you?"
yoona's breath shakes. "me.. i'm stopping myself. i don't know.. i don't understand who my heart belongs to." she runs a hand through her hair, looking off into the distance. "i love you, jini. but my guilt tells me otherwise. it.. this doesn't feel fair to jinsol, even if this is the last thing she wanted."
jini glances up into the sky. she doesn't know if she's trying to find the answer jinsol left her, but..
"nothing was fair in the first place." jini meets yoona's confused eyes. "this is the last thing that makes it fair, isn't it?" met with silence, jini continues. "yoona, i've loved you too, and though I probably shouldn't be the person saying this, i'm sure this last wish of hers would make her the happiest person ever." jini could almost reach out to yoona's hands but stops herself.
until yoona reaches it herself.
"you think?"
jini nods slowly.
yoona hangs her head low, perhaps saying one last apology to jinsol. she lets go of jini, standing up, and sitting on jini's thighs. her breath hitches on what's about to come.
"don't make me regret this." yoona crosses her arms over jini's neck.
jini smiles, one full of ease, for the first time in front of yoona.
"i won't." she could only look at her tear-stained cheeks. she cups them with her warm hands. "I promise—"
yoona's ever-so-soft lips touch against jini's. the older woman kisses with desperation. for what? jini could only hope it was for the years of stolen glances and teasing touches, years of no contact, years of their hearts secretly longing each other this entire time. jini breathes a sigh of relief into the kiss. she opens her mouth, fully welcoming yoona. she finds her hands trailing down to the hips of the woman atop her. yoona pushes herself deeper into jini, her hand crawling to jini’s shoulders to her nape. jini has never felt this warm before. yoona is just a bad person isn’t she? using jinsol as a rebound, only to find out her love was never unrequited in the first place?
yoona pulls away. "put that promise on a cool down, will you? i just fulfilled one." the two laughed in the quiet night. to jini, and possibly to sullyoon, moments like this takes their mind off from the hell they have to live in. they stare into each others eyes for another moment before jini speaks.
“i love you, sullyoon.”
yoona hesitates for a moment. she really was comitting to this?
yoona smiles softly. “i love you too, jini.”